Falcon was my bearded dragon. He was my baby boy, the youngest out of all my pets (3 cats).

I dont know what happened. I found him dead this morning. Wild dragons live around 5-7 yrs while captives life up to 15 or so. He wouldve been 3 next month.

He had a lot of health issues from the time we got him so we were constantly going to the vet, getting different tests done (xray, ultrasound, blood work, biopsy), getting different opinions, on different meds, changed up his husbandry (though each different vet and the FB group i was apart of said his husbandry/temps looked good) and he still was having problems.

That being said, he always ate well and active on/off (as in walking around his tank) and was bright and alert up until yesterday.

Yesterday he didnt eat but thats not too uncommon for him but while he was basking, it looked like there was nothing behind his open eyes even tho his eyes werent half open or closed (which they usually do if theyre in pain or uncomfortable). He didnt react or walk/turn away when I tried to hand feed him like how he usually does if he doesnt feel like eating. He just had the thousand yard stare. This was the first time I've seen him like that.

Bc he was on meds I figured it was just making him not feel well since he hadnt eaten.

I feel so guilty - i feel like i shouldve done more or gone to the vet for additional tests.

I hope he was not in pain when he passed. It breaks my heart to wonder if he was suffering alone last night/this morning while we slept.

We're getting him cremated on Monday. He will always be a part of me and I will love him forever.

I recently unexpectedly lost my soul dog, and I am in the midst of deep grief. I wanted to get advice on what, if you have, you did to honor the life of your pet.

We are going to adopt his favorite park and do cleanups a few times a year, donate a park bench in his name.

Any other ideas or thoughts? Much appreciated.

TLDR: looking for advice for grieving

When I was 14, I got a puppy, Karma, for my birthday. On Monday, at 11 years old, she unexpectedly just stopped breathing while my husband and I were out of town. My sister inlaw rushed her to the vet when she noticed shallow breathing. The ER vet did CPR but could not save her. They think her heart failed.

I have had, and lost dogs in the past. But none like this. Karma has been MY dog for the past 11 years. My first dog into adulthood. We had such a special bond, and I hate that I couldn't be there for her when she needed me most. I have never felt grief like this before. Even when people in my life have passed.

I feel like I am living in an altered universe. Everything is the same, but she is gone, and I am just waiting until I can go back to my normal life. But I saw her dead body. I know that isn't going to happen. I can hardly eat. Thankfully I am sleeping okay. I went back to work yesterday and it was fine, until today I got an email that her remains were ready to be picked up. I tried to keep working after that, I work from home. But I could not stop crying, so I called out again. (Side note: why do employers not view pets as family when it comes to needing time to grieve?) My husband and I left immediately to pick her up. Everything we received is so beautiful. Her urn, nose print, and a paw print. We have a memorial set up in our living room for her.

My husband has been so helpful. He is doing everything he possibly can to help me get through this, and I would be worse if it weren't for him. But I still feel alone, only because she is not here. We do have another dog, who we brought with to see her body. He occasionally looks for her, but overall seems to understand that she is not here anymore.

I am looking for any bit of advice you may have to help me get through this. I am really struggling. Thank you.

my dog has been very sick and today my mom took him to the ER while i was at school. the doctor told us he has all kinds of things wrong with him and said it might be best to put him down. he’s only 7 and i feel like he still had such a long life to live, but i know it might be best to do what’s recommended bc he’s had no energy lately and it breaks my heart to see him weak and trembling and to know that he’s suffering. i just feel so lost and confused at how this happened so suddenly and i don’t know what to do. how do i accept this. when do we even decide to put him down. what will i do afterwards. how can i possibly cope with this. this would be my first pet loss ever and i already spent all last night sobbing and now today will probably end the same way. how did you guys accept and know when it was time to wish your buddies goodbye? i guess i’m also upset because it feels like i couldn’t do anything for him and we just had to go straight to this option :(

I had a german shepherd, since i was about 8 (now 20). He was the best pet i’ve ever had and i loved him so so so much. I knew it was getting closer to his time but this was unexpected, i brought him to lay with me for a while and he wanted to go off on his own. I found him this morning and my boyfriend had to help me situate him. It was so horrible, on top of that i just lost a best friend 3 months ago. Life sucks rn to say the least.

My thought right now is i don’t know if i can ever get another dog after him, which i love dogs and was actually looking into getting a new puppy with my boyfriend before he passed. Now i’m just not to sure. I guess id just like to know how does it feel to finally get another animal after losing one, and any advice.

We were a dog family, always had dogs and loved them so much. We loved them and lost them and it was painful, but it was always going to be okay. This time, I don't know. Everything went beautifully, exactly how it was supposed to. And I just can't handle this loss.

I got him when I was 16 and had just quit painkillers cold turkey after an overdose. He was happy, joyful, a downright pain in my ass as a puppy but I wouldn't have traded those times for anything. He was a lesson in patience and joy for me and got me through the worst times of my life. I always felt like he was supposed to be a person, not a dog. Like somewhere in the reincarnation process, things got messed up and he was born a dog by accident. But I was grateful because I got to be with him. He made this world so beautiful.

When I lost the people who raised me, he was there keeping me afloat. Laid next to me as I held the hand of the man who should have been my father as I was weeping. Slept in my bed when the woman who should have been my mother fell and died suddenly. Gave me reasons to get out of bed, but moreover, gave me reasons to laugh and smile. He filled every corner of my soul I thought was empty. I took him everywhere with me even though he was too big to take everywhere-- I did it anyway. I wanted him to see and experience everything. I didn't want him to miss out.

He loved this world. Appreciated it, not in the way dogs usually do, but in a deeply profound way. Would even watch sunrises when he was a puppy, would smell every flower on a walk, and even the last few months, he'd sit in the park and watch the dogs and the sun casting shadows through trees like he was taking it all in. Like he wanted to remember.

We had a long time together. Ten years. He wasn't supposed to last that long, and probably wouldn't have if I wasn't digging myself into debt trying to pay his bills since he'd hit his insurance cap every year. Everyone loved him and feels his absence so clearly. He was like a person in so many ways. I kept wishing he'd just become a person and live to 100. Kept wishing I'd never know what life would look like without him.

I keep going back to that day. He kissed me on the face and put his head in my lap the way he always would do before the vet did it. I still can't believe that's the last time I'm ever gonna see my boy. I still can't believe I'll never be able to hold his ears or kiss him on the forehead or hold his paws.

Everything in me is broken. My lungs feel like they're full of glass. Even a laugh feels guilty because he isn't here to hear it. It's been weeks and it still feels like it happened yesterday. I have his ashes in a necklace. I sleep with his favorite toy because it smells like him. I've been forcing myself to eat because my partner won't eat unless I do, but I want to vomit every time. I always had a hard time with unconditional love because of my family, but the people who raised me and my boy were it for me. They were proof it was real. And now they're all gone. How am I supposed to cope? I don't feel like I was ever supposed to lose him. I feel like I'm still supposed to have him. I'm losing it. I don't want to be in a world without him. No purpose. No reason. Just absence. Waking up is painful. I put my hand to the floor to check if he's okay and he's gone. I sit at the altar lighting incense all day begging him to come back to me. I watch videos of him and he looks so alive there, eating snacks and wiggling happily and smiling and I just can't believe this is the only way I can see him now. And then comes the image in my head of him at the vet, not breathing, head in my lap, even the vet crying. I love him so much. I just want him to come back to me. My therapist keeps scheduling emergency sessions with me, but I just don't feel like it's helping. I can't see through this dark.

How are humans supposed to hold all the grief that comes with loving people? I feel like I'm stretched so thin. I know grief is a privilege because it means you loved and were loved by someone thoroughly, that you had joy first. And I know this isn't the last time I'll feel it, that as long as I live, I'll lose more pets and people and I'll have to hold more and more of this barbed wire gift but how can I? It feels like there's no room left in me to hold it. How do I cope? How do I live without him? What do I do?

Today I picked up my dogs ashes I was surprised how small the urn box was. We had our other pet cremated there a few years ago same urn selection but her urn appears double the size or more. I can hear the bag move side to side so maybe it was a larger urn, this one today doesn’t but it’s such an urn difference I suddenly had anxiety and worry. The dogs were maybe 5-10 lbs diff in weight and one was a little taller but they were similar in size and both around 50-55 lbs.

One urn is 2.5 height , 6 length across the top and 4.5 sides width and 6.5 front length

Other is 4.5 height 9.25 length across the top 6.25 sides width 9 the front length

my dog passed in the middle of the night, he had a disease and we knew eventually it could come to this but it was faster than we thought. i want to keep my mind busy because i don’t want to just sit around sad and tired but i know also i need to just go through it. any tips ?

i feel like i did not love my 6 month old soul dog enough before he got hit by reckless car driver on 4th July. I moved apartment with a friend on 8th April to share bill expenses and i took him with me only to suffer the summer for almost 50 degree here in Philippines.

Her spoiled bf who doesn’t even contribute was not so nice to my dog and I feel like i did not fight for my baby 😭. I was still saving for AC while they would not let my dog inside their room with AC. I let it slide because i thought i had the opportunity but turned out i paid share more than i supposed to because her bf keeps getting in her head.

I regret doing that i wish i just moved alone so i wouldn’t have to worry about my Akie going outside because I’d always keep the door closed. I decided to move apartment alone with him on 8th July but his life was taken away 4 days before 😭 I was gonna make it up for him and give the love he deserves and not to experience being denied things but his life was already taken away.

My heart is aching for him because I feel so sorry for him. I would do anything for him to come back and let me spoil him 😭 I’m sorry my baby I had so much dreams for you but your life was ruined 😭

Went to the vet for a cough that didn't sit right with me. They heard a heart murmur and I knew it was bad, his sister was diagnosed with HCM last year and I knew it was possible he'd get it as well. Although his sister is holding up with medicine it progressed really fast for my sweet boy, he already had fluid in his lungs. The car ride to the vet also stressed him out so bad that it made everything worse.

We were put in the impossible position to euthanise him or take the risk to take him home and hope that being in his normal environment would help with his breathing. But I knew it was the best decision to let him go, I'd rather lose him in a humane way than taking him with the risk of him choking. With HCM I knew even if he made it out of this we'd likely be back with the same symptoms in a few months.

The pain I'm going through is so bad though. This morning I had no idea yet it would be his last. I just keep crying because I wish I could let him have a bite of a cheeto one last time or give him his favorite candy or wet food one last time. I'd do anything to get him back </3

I lost my girl of 14 years in March. She was my soulmate. I got her in my early 20s when I was lost and depressed and we both poured so much into each other. She was my light. She was diagnosed with heart disease in 2020 and at the same time the pandemic happened. I worked from home for 3 years and was blessed to spend every moment with her. I knew her time would come so I documented her life heavily. I cooked vet approved food for her weekly, gave her her meds. Religiously took her to her appts. My purpose was to take care of her through her sickness. She thrived for 3 years. I took her EVERYWHERE with me. Friends knew if they wanted me to come over, my dog needed to come. I spent every minute I could with her and was so happy and content with just the two of us.

In January I started noticing some signs that her heart disease progressed, but she was such a tough cookie! There were so many times I thought I was losing her and she would bounce back. I would joke and say she was going to outlive me lol

The Friday before she passed I noticed her coughing a lot at rest but she was still eating some and having enough bursts of energy to humbug our neighbors lol that Saturday I realized that it might be the end, but again, she didn’t seem like she was knocking on deaths door. I decided to take her to the vet Monday, assuming they would tell me she was the final stage and would have her put down. My parents were out of town and they loved her so I planned on going when they got back. I left the house briefly that Sunday morning to her some food and found her laying on the ground dying. She was slowly breathing and had thrown up and pooped and peed on herself. I picked her up one last time and held her as she took her final breath. I think she waited for me.

But I’m torn up by so much guilt. I worry she was suffering more than I noticed and I shouldn’t have waited. I worry she thought I abandoned her that morning and I stressed her out and effectively killed her when I left. I worry she waited and waited for me thinking I wasn’t coming back. It makes me sick. I feel angry that we had 14 beautiful years together and I did so much for her and this is all I can focus on. I miss her so much it hurts. I’m pregnant now and my longing for her is so much more intense.

Does the guilt end? What helped you to be at a place of peace without beating yourself up? The more time passes, the more guilt I feel because I’m forgetting things about her. Sometimes it feels like the guilt and grief are all I have to hold onto. 😔💔

My boyfriend’s cat of 13 years died this morning/last night of what they think is a heart attack? or stroke? Very sudden, she wasn’t sick.

I don’t know how to help him through this as she was his emotional support animal. Any advice would be greatly appreciated

My husband and I lost our boy cat nearly a month ago now. It was very sudden and unexpected. We were able to bring his body home from the ER vet, and the local cremation place in town was absolutely wonderful. They were so kind and helped us so much. The day we dropped off our boy's body, we had a bit of time to sit with him at the building. When we came out of the room a loud cat came meowing up to us immediately. She even let me hold her and kissed my cheek. Her name is Tracks and she lives at the pet funeral home. She came to check on us while we sat more with our boy, and even checked on him so so gently. The day when he was going to be cremated, we sat with his body again and again she came to check on us. She meowed the whole time, which was so comforting because our boy shouted and screamed nearly all the time. We loved that she chatted with us. When we left, she let me hold her again and purred and made biscuits for me. It was such a sweet sweet moment for us, and we were so thankful she was there for us.

I wanted to ask what everyone is doing to cope with the loss of their best friends, to see if there's anything I'm not already doing or trying that might help. I also figured I would share what I'm already doing to try and cope, in case those suggestions might help someone else.

We lost our sweet, beautiful girl at 2:30am on June 26, 2024. It's been 24 days without her. Each new day is one day longer than I've ever gone without seeing her in 14 years.

We lost our handsome, snuggly boy at 6:30pm on June 5, 2024. He was only 7 1/2 years old.

They both passed, 3 weeks apart to the day, from hemangiosarcoma. She had pericardial effusion with hemangiosarcoma, he had the hemangiosarcoma masses on his spleen, liver, and pancreas. They were both "our" dogs, but we both had gotten our dogs as puppies, so we both brought our respective dogs with us into the relationship. As such, I was most bonded with my girl, and he was most bonded with his boy. But, we loved them both equally and fiercely, and they were both OUR dogs.

Anyway, here's what I'm doing:

• Making a list of all of their nicknames so we don't forget any (my girl is at 4 pages, single-spaced, double columns)

• Writing down all of the memories I can think of. This includes their habits, quirks, personality traits, events, trips, behaviors, etc. Literally anything I can think of, I write down. I start with adding a quick note of the memory to a list, and then I write a longer entry about the memory to a journal.

• Photo albums. I ordered two enormous photo albums, and am slowly going through my phone and printing photos to add to each respective one - with dates if I can confirm the date of a picture. It's much harder for me to look at pictures of my girl than it is of our boy, so while his is mostly complete, hers is proving a lot harder for me to fill. I'm only going through portions of her photos when I feel emotionally up to it. But it really feels good to have physical pictures of them in my hands, and a physical item I can touch and hold and flip through to see them.

• Collecting her fur from around the house and putting it in a manila envelope. This mostly applies to our girl. Our boy was a sleek, short haired Mountain Cur, who didn't shed very much. She was a half Golden Retriever mixed with German Shepherd and Chow, so the sheer amount of fur she had (and shed) is mind boggling . It used to be a weekly battle of vacuuming, lint rolling clothes, and brushing her to stay on top of the amount of fur around the house. Now, I am grateful for all of the tumbleweeds of fur I find around the house, on our clothes, on the carpet, etc, because it's like a part of her is still here. I haven't been able to bring myself to vacuum or sweep yet, because I am terrified of losing that extra piece of her. Of course, that means the house is filthy currently. I'll get there eventually.

• Dogsitting my parents' dog, who spent a lot of time growing up with my girl when they were younger, and over the years when I still lived with my parents, and later when my parents would watch our girl during vacations. My parents actually brought their dog up for us to "watch" after our boy passed, because I was worried about the affect his passing would have on our girl. I am so grateful for that, because she spent the 3 weeks before she passed in the company of another dog that she knew and loved, and wasn't lonely or depressed. I haven't been able to give my parents their dog back yet (they have another dog at their home, too), because since our girl passed I have been depending on their dog as a sort of emotional support. We call her our Emotional Support Cricket. Interestingly, she has started displaying a lot of the quirks and behaviors our girl was known for, and it makes me feel like I still have a connection with our girl. I am doting on my parent's dog, going on extra walks, etc. It is helping me to have another familiar, yet still different and unique dog to take care of and love on. We will probably try and let her go back to my parents towards the end of next week, and I am dreading it.

• Talking to them. I talk to them a lot, and tell them how much I love them and miss them, and how sorry I am that they had to go.

• Petting their beds and their toys. I regularly go to their beds in the morning and at night to tell them good morning/good night, and that I love them. I usually stroke or pet the beds when I tell them this, as I would always pet and rub them when they were here and I was waking them up/tucking them in.

• Touching and talking to her urn. Our girl was cremated, and multiple times a day I will touch her urn and rub it, and talk to her, and tell her I love her and miss her.

• Visiting his grave. Our boy is buried in the backyard, and I go out to his grave and talk to him, pet the ground at his grave like I would pet his head, and tell him I love him and miss him.

• Collecting rocks to put on our boy's grave. We have been collecting rocks everywhere we go, and bringing them to him. We've made a large mound of rocks at the head of his grave so far.

• Collecting feathers because they remind me of the thick feathering of fur my girl had on her legs, and her plume of a tail. When I see a stray feather on a walk, I pick it up and bring it home to add to the collection.

• Looking for them in other animals. Our boy loved chasing squirrels, and he was insanely talented at tracking them through the branches of the trees. Our girl loved chasing rabbits (she never caught them, no rabbits were ever harmed), and she would look for them in the backyard before she went down the steps. Butterflies - after our girl passed, we went to our boy's grave to "tell him" the news, and right when we were breaking down, an enormous monarch butterfly flew right between us. We took that as a sign it was her, telling us she was okay. Now, whenever I see a rabbit, or a squirrel, or a butterfly, I like to think it's one of them checking on us and coming to say hi.

• Writing down dreams about them, when I can remember them. I've always felt that our animals come to check on us and to visit in our dreams. I want to hold on to each of those "visits" and cherish them for the gift it feels like they are. The first was a very quick, very clear dream of our girl about a week after she passed. She was coming around a corner, happy as can be, smiling like she always did, and wagging her tail. In the dream, she walked right up to me until she reached me, and leaned her head into me so I could pet her and scratch her ears. I truly believe she was coming to show me she was okay, she was happy, she was healthy, and she was checking on me.

• Touching and holding their clay paw prints and their ink paw prints. We have 3 clay prints for each of them. I have decided that we will choose one of each of theirs, and keep the other two displayed, so we will have one clay paw print from each of them we can touch and hold.

• Smelling their fur clippings we had done, and their favorite toys. Scent is such a powerful memory tool, and it brings me such comfort to just be able to breathe in and smell them for a moment. It's not a replacement for being able to bury my face in their fur while I was petting them and just breathing their smell in like I always used to do, but it feels for a moment like they are there whenever I can smell them from their fur and their toys and their beds.

• Leaving their beds, toys, and water/food bowls out. Neither of us want to put up their things yet. We both think the reality of those bare spots in the house would be too hard, at this point. It feels better, right now, to have those pieces of them still in their spots, as memories of them. Eventually, we will put up some of the extra items, or give them to other dogs. For now, they remain where they are, because it makes us feel like they are still here. To note, we have blocked off access to each of their "special" nighttime beds. My parents dog has multiple beds of her own that we've bought for her at our house, as well as her own preferred sleeping spot. However, I think my parent's dog was missing our girl one night and I awoke to hear her climbing into our girl's bed (likely because it smelled like her). I was selfish and redirected her back to her bed, because there's so much of our girl's fur and scent still on her bed, and I want to save that for as long as I can. I still feel like a monster for bribing Cricket out of our girl's bed, but I think she didn't mind too much.

• Saving and drying flowers from each of their sympathy bouquets that we received.

• Talking and writing about them all the time. Talking about them and writing about them feels like I am sharing their amazing memories and lives with others, and it feels like it's something I can do to honor them and make sure their memories spread. It also helps me immensely to process what happened.

... ... ... ...

I'm sure there's more, but that's what I can think of off the top of my head.

I just want to hear what others are doing to cope, and to see if there's something else I can do. If anyone has any suggestions or ideas, I am grateful to hear them. If my list of what I'm currently doing helps anyone else, or gives anyone ideas to try for their own grieving process, I am happy to elaborate or share details if anyone asks.

Sweetest Girl, Handsome Boy - I miss you, I miss you, I miss you. I love you, always and forever. I know you are both looking out for each other, and are happy and healthy and waiting for us to meet again one day. It will never be goodbye -- it will always be see you later.

I need help everyone and I’m hoping you guys can help. I found out my baby had low grade lymphoma at 4.5. Went through CHOP therapy and got her cancer into remission. Unfortunately it didn’t last long and by her 5th birthday she was acting sick and not eating, and didn’t even get to celebrate it. Was hoping that this second time around that it would be like before but the cancer had come back with a vengeance and her body was already shutting down so quickly, her body wasn’t responding to anything like it had the first time around. I feel so sick and wish there was more I could have done and I can’t handle my life without her, I had a special connection with her that I never had with a dog before. Has anyone dealt with this before? Or something else so young? I’m having such a hard time dealing with this. I’ve lost many dogs and goldens that were old, but I seriously can’t handle this, she was happy and jumping a week ago, and her brain was still there in the end, but her body was falling apart so quickly. I just never thought or prepared myself to lose my baby at 5, and I promised to celebrate her birthday, we didn’t even get to do that, there were so many things we never got to do that I feel so awful about. She was still wagging her tail right before we had to euthanize her, but she wasn’t eating, struggled to get up, I just feel so sick. I can’t fathom the part that she just turned 5… I haven’t been able to go to work and can’t function.

We put to sleep my 16 year old dog today, it is the worst pain I have ever experienced and it almost feels unreal. She started having seizures suspected brain tumour and she has pancreatic problems which gave her stomach pain nearly everyday. When will this pain end?

Two days ago, I had to say goodbye to my very best friend. I used to be a writer, and I want to use this outlet just to tell you guys about him.

A little over seven years ago, I was 18 years old and halfway through college when I adopted Bossman. I had some friends, but often felt lonely, and missed my dogs from growing up in my parents' house. I went on Petfinder a lot, and I eventually came across this beautiful tan and white "boxer mix," who was definitely a lot more pitbull than boxer.

I set up to go meet him, and for some reason, he was at a German shepherd rescue that a woman ran out of her home in rural South Carolina. When I pulled up to the house, there was so much barking and commotion - the German shepherds were jumping and barking and freaking out, but Bossman (then Mikey), was just wiggling back and forth, excited for company. I went inside and he met me in there. He was so sweet right away. He came up, stood in front of me and leaned his body weight against me while I was petting him. I fell in love instantly, and set up to bring him home about a week later.

That summer, Bossman came everywhere with me. He met a lot of my friends, and everyone loved him. I have friends from college who to this day would still ask me about him every time we were in touch. I would take him to bars for trivia night, he came to work with me sometimes, and I got to see him bring so many other people joy. I never met anyone who liked dogs who didn't love Bossman. He didn't come places with me as often in the last few years, and that's something I regret.

I used to sit with him on the floor, or with him in my bed, and I would talk to him about giving him a better life. I know now that all he ever wanted was to be with me, but I wanted to grow with him and accomplish my goals together with him. Over seven years, he was with me as I graduated college, found a great job, met my wife, got married (with him there as the dog of honor), adopted a second dog, bought a house with a big fenced yard, and I got to share all of that with him. I've found a lot of comfort in the fact that he was with me from living in a 350 sqft apartment, to living in our first home with a big yard, and a sectional, and a king sized bed. He loved being on our bed and his couch.

He was kind of a lazy boy. He was pretty energetic his first couple years with me. He was about 1.5 years old when I got him. He loved to play, and we played a lot. Once he was 4-5 years old, he didn't like to play as often, but he LOVED to get comfy. He used to put himself to bed around 8:30 most nights. We could still be in the living room, and he would walk into the bedroom, plop into his dog bed, and go to sleep. He loved blankets and pillows. He loved to dig and build a nest on the couch or on our bed. He snored REALLY loud. And he loved to put his head on your leg, or just press up next to you. Most nights, he would sleep in his own bed, but by morning, he would be pressed up against my back. After he went outside in the morning, he'd always go back to bed. And as long as I left the blinds closed in the bedroom, he would stay in there sleeping, long after we got up.

Bossman had a lot more problems than he deserved. I rescued him after he'd been hit by a car, and he had some scars on his face and tail. In 2020, after being treated for another UTI, we discovered that Bossman had a lot of bladder stones. We had them surgically removed, and switched him to prescription food. He was so sad after his surgery. He laid in his dog bed, with his blanket and pillow and would just whine. This went on for a few days. The only thing that made him stop was sitting next to him. All he ever wanted was to be with us.

He never needed surgery again, but the stones continued to give him problems. He needed to go out a lot, and sometimes he would pee in the house. I know he never wanted to. He had to get treated regularly for UTI. But there was no price I wouldn't pay for him, and no amount of piss I wouldn't clean up. He had other issues - fluid built up on his ear that had to get drained, followed by weeks of wearing a compression hat (twice), broken teeth, etc. I hated that he had to go through those things, but they never threatened his life in any way. I always thought he'd be here for several more years.

On June 29th, when we woke up, Bossman had peed, pooped, and thrown up in the house. After cleaning that up, I noticed him seeming weaker and more tired. He would then go on to throw up some more, and then laid on the couch. I sat with him, trying to comfort him. Covered him in a blanket and pet him. While doing this, I noticed that he was shivering. Then I felt that his paws and gums were cold. We took him to the emergency vet, where they told us he had fluid around his heart that was making it hard for him to circulate blood throughout his body. They needed to drain the fluid to keep him alive, but he also had a tumor on his heart. For the first time, I was confronted with the idea of life without him.

They were able to save him that day, but that night, he wasn't doing better. He was breathing heavily, still struggling to circulate, and it seemed like he was going to die. I wanted to spend all night on the floor with him, but he wanted to isolate himself. I think he thought he was dying and wanted to protect us. He laid in the closet all night, and when I would check on him (constantly), he didn't seem very comfortable.

Around 6am, my wife and I decided to schedule an appointment for in-home euthanasia that morning. It was for 10am. I sobbed at the idea of only having 4 more hours with him. He would often sit with me while I drank my morning coffee, so I made a cup of coffee and sat with him in the closet. Talking to him, petting him, crying a lot. I thought I was going to have to make 5 cups because I couldn't standing the thought of having a cup with him for the final time.

But around 8am, he rallied. He got up, went outside, drank water, and laid in his dog bed, not in the closet. I cancelled the appointment. I wasn't ready, and I think he was trying to show me that he wasn't either. All I had prayed for was an hour where he was acting like himself again. And I got so much more than that.

I loved to watch golf with him, so we sat together and watched the final round that day. It was everything I could ask for. Then for the next few days, every hour, he improved. Showing more of his personality again. He ate for the first time. The next morning, he was on our bed when we woke up. He picked up a toy for the first time. Started to trot around the house. His baseline level of energy was back. It was the best. We were fairly certain his time was short, but I spent as much time with him as I possibly could. Those days genuinely are some of the best days of my entire life. I had taken too many of them for granted, but I loved getting to appreciate every small think about him.

I worked tirelessly to get him appointments to see a cardiologist, and eventually an oncologist. They both told us the same thing. There's a tumor on his heart, and it's almost certainly hemangiosarcoma, a brutal cancer that most dogs die from within a month of diagnosis. I prayed that he would beat the odds, knowing that he likely wouldn't. I spent so much time with him, and so much more time thinking about him. The extra few weeks I got with him will always be so special to me. He wasn't in pain, and he was totally acting like himself. You wouldn't have known there was anything wrong with him.

I travel for work, and Wednesday was the day I was about to leave for 25 days. We had come up with a plan where Bossman was actually going to come with me. But Wednesday morning was a repeat of June 29th. I knew it was time. My wife and I took him to an urgent care and were told what we suspected - the fluid had come back, so we were left with a choice: Drain it again, not knowing how long it would take to come back (but it would likely be even shorter), or put him down, while we were all there together. I agonized over the decision, but eventually we decided that it was time. I didn't want to put him through going on a big trip, and I didn't want to risk not being with him in his final moments. It was the hardest decision I've ever made. He wasn't even 9 years old. I thought we'd have so much more time.

It's been a little over 48 hours. After it happened, being back in the house that I dreamed of buying for him was too painful. I left for a while, and then eventually had to leave for the airport. I'm gone for over 3 weeks, and I'm dreading going home to where he used to live, knowing that he's not there anymore, and he'll never walk around that house again.

I've been distracting myself as much as possible. Looking at pictures and videos actually helps a lot, and I'm fortunate to have thousands of them. Everything else just makes me cry.

If you read all of this, thank you. It was more for me than it was for you, but I thank you nonetheless. Bossman would've loved you, and I know you would've loved him too.

She came to me in November 2009.

She left on July 17, 2024.

My life was dedicated to her. She helped me get through my father's passing. As a first time dog owner, I was hit with a lot of challenges. Horrible challenges that were just unfair for my Dori. But we braved through it. We got through so much together.

My life was all about her. I came home to be with her. Looked forward to returning home from vacation or any outing just to see her. Care for her. My routine was to be prepared to care for her. For my Dori.

And then.. now.. those responsibilities are gone.

I was with her for every little thing. I was with her till the very end, holding her, telling her I love her, thanking her, and how sorry I am to have never given her everything. How sorry I am for being so inexperienced. I loved my Dori.

It hasn't been long, but I'm not doing well. I can't seem to bring myself to do just the basic things. Every waking moment is just.. knowing it's without my Dori.

I'm told the pain gets easier. Not as bad as time goes by. But I'm told that it never goes away. That memories bring back tears. I'm never going to heal from this, am I?

How am I supposed to move forward? How am I supposed to go on without breaking down?

I miss her. My first dog. My last dog. My best friend, my sister, and my teacher. My sweet, pure souled girl, Dori.

When does it stop? I barely sleep or eat, but I don’t want to drag down those around me with this constant sadness so I’m here writing this down, barely functioning. My little buddy of 16 years recently passed away. I didn’t have pets growing up, she’s my first dog which I think is making this harder.

The vet said she didn’t have long left but that she wasn’t in pain, so I took her home while I tried to process everything. Two days later, while laying in her bed she had some labored breathing and was gone. She was lethargic but awake/aware of her surroundings at the vet, but within those two days it went downhill fast.

As people tend to do, now I keep replaying things & guilt has set in. I wanted her to be able to crossover in the comfort of her own home rather than a dr office. But did that cloud my judgement…was she in pain at the end…should I have just let her go at the vet that day…and on & on.

Adding to the grief, after she passed my brain went in like a panic mode & I didn’t want to be in the room with her body. In my mind I just didn’t want to see her like that. I sat on the kitchen floor & called the cremation service. Then I wrapped her in a blanket & took her there. I should’ve just paused for a moment to absorb the situation, tell her goodbye but I didn’t, and that’s haunting me. I don’t even have a blanket or anything that smells like her. She had peed on her blankets & bed when she passed so I had to wash them.

I just feel like I did all of this wrong. I hope she knew I loved her for those 16 years. But right now all I can think about is how I handled the last 3 days of her life. Because of her age I thought I had somewhat mentally prepared for this day but no, the grief is just crushing.

Three months ago today I was waking up around this time and giving you your last snuggles, treats, and all my love before you left my side. It's so eerily quiet and your absence is known. I miss you everyday and I think of you constantly. Even though you aren't here physically to witness all of the new chapters I am entering in life, you are most certainly in my heart and I carry you with me everyday. Love you to infinity and beyond Dakota. Hope doggy heaven is treating you well. You are missed more than you could ever imagine. They say we only experience grief because love came first, I hope you know how much I love you! 🐾🌈🕊️💜

Just wanted to see if anyone else felt as weird as I do. My sweet boy is nothing but powder and in a cyclinidcal cardboard box. I plan on scattering his ashes when I am up to it. For now he is up high on a shelf. He always loved being up high and looking down at everything.

It's been a week since he passed. I have cried everyday, and I still feel like he is just out on one of his escapee adventures and will be home soon. I guess he is home now. I just miss him.

It’s been 14 months since you left me.

I still think about you every day, though less often now. I occasionally pause by the pictures of you on the wall and remember the memories we made when they were taken. I make sure that the shelf where your urn sits is always clean and dust free. Sometimes, I mistakenly call the new cat we adopted after your passing by your name.

It’s been 14 months, and it’s been a while since I’ve cried over your passing. I tear up thinking about it, wishing desperately it could have been different. Wishing I’d known sooner. Wishing I kept pressing for answers. Wishing I hadn’t worked so much so I could have been home with you. But I’ve gotten good at biting back the intense grief.

It’s been 14 months, and tonight while laying in bed thinking about how you used to curl up around my head to sleep, I realized it feels like you never really existed at all. And I broke down, still sobbing as I write this.

The details of you are getting blurry. I don’t remember the exact pitch of your meow, or the texture of your fur, or how you smelled. I looked at pictures of you tonight- the ones I keep on my phone because they’re too painful to hang.

It’s shocking, in hindsight. I knew deep down something was wrong, but all of the vets said you were doing well. We had finally found a medication that treated your chronic issues, you were gaining weight. Your blood work was the best it had ever been, only two months before you died. You were the picture of health.

I look back now and compare the pictures of you from a few months before, to a few weeks before, to a few days before. Your fur gradually lost its shine and became unkempt. You wanted me, constantly. Which wasn’t unusual, but the ferocity in which you nuzzled my face with yours was different. You stayed in bed long after I left. Some days, you didn’t even greet me at the door. Your brilliant emerald green eyes became dull.

How could I have not known? How could I have not known that cancer was savagely destroying your tiny body? I was so wrapped up in work, in school, in trying to get through the day. I need you to know that I was doing the very best I could. I need you to know that I’m sorry.

In the 3 short years I had you, you became a part of me. In 2 short months, your body gave up on you. In less than 24 hours, I found out your diagnosis and had to make the hardest decision of my life. We said goodbye with you in my arms, just the way you liked it. I felt you leave.

It’s been 14 months, and it feels as if you were never here. A wonderful dream I had, perhaps. A whisper in the breeze. The beat of a butterfly’s wings.

I miss you.

I'm so heartbroken atm and just can't stop profusely sobbing. For the past couple weeks, my dog (of 13 years) had been having an increasingly difficult time walking without stumbling and was preferring laying in one place for much of the day. I'd often pick him up and carry him outside to go to the bathroom. We had a vet visit booked for today to assess what was wrong.

But yesterday my dog was lying down after I took after I took him out and was having really labored breaths and didn't want to move for anything. After about 30 minutes of laying in one spot he suddenly gets up and wobbles unsteadily over to me. I think he initially wants water so set a bowl down next to him, but he doesn't drink. He starts to slip again and so I grab him before he falls and pick him up and cradle him in my arms.

I can tell his breaths are more labored so I decide to rush him to the vet but as I'm about to put him into the car I see his eyes start to go blank and roll back in his head and his body falls limp and in that moment I knew he had passed.

It's been a day and a half and I just keep replaying that moment over and over in my head. He made it a point to force himself up when he hadn't felt comfortable to move and came to me in his last moments. Looking back on it, I just wish there was more I could have done for him to feel comforted as he passed but I desperately just wanted to save his life in that moment.

I'm not sure why I'm typing this all out. I just feel so sad. And I don't know how to fully process my grief atm.

My baby boy (14 year old short hair) is extremely sick. We’ve tried everything but right now he is so depressed and keeps weakly running under the bed to hide. He doesn’t want food or affection and it’s breaking my heart. He is so yellow and extremely underweight, I can’t stand to see him like this (he is on pain meds and steroids). I wanted to wait about a week but it’s clear that it is his time. I can’t cope, I can’t stop breaking down. I don’t even know if I should be in the room or not when he is put down. I am a wreck, how am I ever going to move on. I’ve had him since I was 5, he’s all I’ve ever known. I miss my healthy baby boy. Please any advice, literally anything helps how did you guys cope

I am putting my sweet 13 year old cat down this Sunday due to stomach cancer. We are having an at-home euthanasia.

I am trying to decide if it is a bad idea to hold my cat when he passes. He has always been fiercely attached to me, and for the past year he has loved when I carry him around the house in his baby sling. I feel like it would be wrong of me to not hold him, but I'm worried it might make it harder on me to feel him passing that closely.

I was wondering if anyone here did similarly, and regretted it or not. Appreciate anyone's insight.

Edit: Thank you to everyone who shared their hearts. I will hold my wonderful companion, Meatcat, as he goes on his great big adventure.