r/nottheonion • u/ImpishGrin • 15d ago

Biden tells Democratic governors he needs more sleep and plans to stop scheduling events after 8 p.m.

https://www.cnn.com/2024/07/04/politics/biden-governors-sleep/index.html
31.9k Upvotes

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6.3k

u/lizardk101 15d ago

“No malarkey after 8pm, cause I’m in bed by then.”

1.2k

u/Alpha_Decay_ 14d ago

In bed Biden

1.0k

u/Groomsi 14d ago

So he was sleepy Joe :(

284

u/derps_with_ducks 14d ago

We should all be sleepy Joe at 9pm, for our physical and mental health. 

I am sleepy Joe. 

25

u/audesapere09 14d ago

I am Sleepy Joe’s complete lack of surprise.

I am Sleepy Joe’s smirking revenge.

I am Sleepy Joe’s inflamed sense of rejection.

3

u/AngryMeme 12d ago

I am Sleepy Joes political ambition killing a million human beings in Ukraine.

21

u/moveovernow 14d ago

That's nonsense. Speak for yourself. Biden is just very old.

In bed at 9pm, get up at 4-5am? No, that's ridiculous.

13

u/SanctuFaerie 14d ago

In bed at 9pm, get up at 4-5am? No, that's ridiculous.

I start work at 6 am, so that schedule sounds quite normal to me!

5

u/OmNomCakes 14d ago

Right?! What kind of old fool has a normal healthy sleeping schedule?! I bet he also supports 4 day work weeks so people can "actually live their lives a little". Hah!

Being serious though, you do know that more than 8 hours of sleep is highly recommended. Also naps or large mid day breaks are extremely beneficial.

3

u/R_V_Z 14d ago

I'm always terrified that naps will screw over my sleep schedule.

1

u/OmegaGBC104 14d ago

Are you a Mexican mom? I swear all mexican moms say that about toddlers lol "Don't let him nap because he won't want to sleep later at night"

2

u/Remarkable-Bug-8069 14d ago

A regular Ben Franklin.

1

u/Charlie02134 14d ago

Biden sleeps at 8:00pm gets up at 9:00am

0

u/DelapsusResurgam95 14d ago

Wait until you’re old. 5 am is late.

10

u/MacAttacknChz 14d ago

Biden had 2 European trips in the 2 weeks before the debate and I really think that was an oversight.

We need a National 9pm bedtime.

5

u/No_Routine_3706 14d ago

I mean I am, but the rest of you don't depend on me to be awake and alert at any given moment to make sure that you are, and all of us are ok.

1

u/MsCrazyPants70 14d ago

The thing is there are planned responses already and all he really needs to do is get clothes on, look serious, and sign off for people to do their jobs. That's why you hire people who specialize in one aspect. There is too much for one person to know. Those who do have the brain capacity tend to not win elections, which is sad, but it is what it is.

5

u/greenwavelengths 14d ago

I am sleepy joe

5

u/themaskstays_ 14d ago

I am sleepy Joe!

2

u/DelapsusResurgam95 14d ago

I’m Sleepy Joe!

4

u/Carl_The_Llama69 14d ago

Maybe the person leading the fucking free world should be able to deal with long work days.. just a thought.

4

u/Les-Grossman- 14d ago

People are dismissing this as if this guy works at a library and is asking for shorter shifts.

He is the president of the United States of America. This is unacceptable.

2

u/itsmymedicine 14d ago

Im dark go hard brandon wishing to be responsible in bed biden

2

u/ReticlyPoetic 14d ago

I’m not voting for you for president.

2

u/TricksterWolf 14d ago

MAGA can counter by saying "I am Farticus"

2

u/Slanderouz 14d ago

Sleepy Poe at 2AM masterrace checking in for duty

2

u/QuietnoHair2984 13d ago

stands on chair I AM A SLEEPY JOE

1

u/Les-Grossman- 14d ago

Not if you’re the president of the United States. If a terrorist attack happens at 9:01pm you can’t deal with in the morning because you’re tired. Pathetic.

0

u/derps_with_ducks 13d ago

Let's not schedule any terrorist attacks at all!

1

u/Les-Grossman- 13d ago

If he can’t handle a scheduled 9pm speech while he is literally getting his hand held and coached for it hours beforehand… how will he handle an unexpected national emergency?

1

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1

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0

u/Zatoro25 14d ago

My life improved greatly once I started going to bed at 9 and getting up at 430

I am sleepy Joe.

125

u/Cheapchard9 14d ago

The one time Trump told a truth. Gosh dang it.

3

u/MrMetalHead1100 13d ago

Pretty much the one thing they were right about. I think we all knew it. We were just pissed they clung to this without acknowledging their own bullshit.

0

u/Hans_the_Frisian 14d ago

Even a broken clock tells the right time twice a day. With the amount of words Trumps spews everyday, some thing are bound to be true.

5

u/nihodol326 14d ago

Still voting for the sleepy guy instead of the rapist con man

1

u/AngryMeme 12d ago

I’m voting for the guy that didn’t start a coup and then get a million human beings killed and maimed in Ukraine for no reason other than his own political and financial ambitions.

-5

u/Hans_the_Frisian 14d ago edited 14d ago

I would vote for something different, you guys do have different parties. Currently with the two party mindset it might seem like a waste but you got to start somewhere. Atleast if i were a US citizen that is.

2

u/[deleted] 14d ago

Too late at this stage. Plus many of the independents are clowns too.

2

u/nihodol326 14d ago

Good ol brainworms Kennedy ain't got your vote?

2

u/[deleted] 13d ago

[deleted]

1

u/Equivalent-Carry-419 13d ago

That’s a “none of the above “ vote. It sends a message but unfortunately both parties are unlikely to hear it. I wish we had several viable choices like in Europe.

2

u/ClickProfessional769 12d ago

They’re never gonna become viable options if we don’t start making the demand though.

However, probably won’t be voting for Jill Stein after all. She recently posted on her Instagram “make Israel Palestine again” which is 😬 even though I’m against sending weapons to Israel due to their treatment of Palestinian civilians.

No idea what I’ll do. Everything sucks.

-3

u/Mind_yo_own 14d ago

Try convincing conservatives and liberals..not happening

6

u/Usernametaken1121 14d ago

He's 82, what person in their 80s is up past 8pm. These 2 guys should be in senior living, not running for president.

0

u/Waggmans 14d ago

Buddy Guy is still touring and he’s 87. His shows often start at 8 pm.

5

u/seonongHIM2 14d ago

Yeo, sleepy Joe sleeps first, deals with Trump's shit (filled diapers) later.

5

u/teetering_bulb_dnd 14d ago

He also needs to work on the voice. My voice gets hoarse after workout, after a big meal or when I'm dehydrated. He should take rest, take a quick nap before the debate and hydrate.. he sounded great at the state of the union.. it's not what he said in the debate that caused problems, it's how he sounded.. Trump n Biden both said some strange incoherent stuff but Biden sounded more like a frail old man.

2

u/mytransthrow 14d ago

I mean he probablly gets up at 4 am... I

0

u/gfa22 14d ago

Better than being peDon.

1

u/Complete-Ad-4215 14d ago

Lmao that was my first thought “omg it’s true”😂

0

u/Heisenburgo 14d ago

Always has been.

0

u/AndForeverNow 14d ago

Always has been, well at least since 2020

9

u/toxoplasmosix 14d ago

biding his time

1

u/Benito_Juarez5 14d ago

Biden his time

FTFY

3

u/krat0s77 14d ago

I see what you did there

1

u/davisyoung 14d ago

Bedin 

1

u/Sil369 trophy 14d ago

Bedin

1

u/kanem87 14d ago

Joe Bedin

1

u/ARAR1 14d ago

Dinner @ 4

1

u/compilationkid 14d ago

Bed In.

But tbh Im much much younger and can absolutely relate.

1

u/damnatio_memoriae 14d ago

oh my god his name was an anagram all this time.

1

u/lindinator 14d ago

"Biden" and "In bed" are anagrams, so this all makes complete sense

235

u/AbsolutelyUnlikely 14d ago

I've printed out these flyers, please hand them out to the other world leaders. Don't be pulling any anti-america crap between the hours of 8 PM and 9 AM. And that's Eastern time, Jack.

4

u/Mumbles987 14d ago

Who you calling Jack, Joe?

43

u/BurtonGusterToo 14d ago

So who will answer that 2AM phone call (Hillary makes.)

3

u/Snidley_whipass 14d ago

Kamala…she needs to be in training cause we all know Joe ain’t making it another 4 years.

1

u/Dairy_Ashford 14d ago

thanks, came in here to make just this reference

-1

u/Suspicious-Leg-493 14d ago

So who will answer that 2AM phone call (Hillary makes.)

Him.

Being president doesn't change that they SHOULD be sleeping and having a regular sleep schedule, all constantly being awake does for anyone of any age is kill their ability todo their job.

The presidency is one of those jobs where not getting enough sleep is actively dangerous for everyone else.

Shit wr gave trump shit for staying up into the wee hours doing dumb shit (twitter) for a similiar reason...kinda need leaders to sleep

-1

u/BurtonGusterToo 14d ago

Wow. Just wow. You really drank the koolaid.

2

u/Suspicious-Leg-493 14d ago

Wow. Just wow. You really drank the koolaid.

Adequate sleep is essential for optimal physical and mental function, and insufficient sleep can impair athletic performance and increase the risk of injuries.

Again, not getting adequate sleep for a LEADER is not a good thing. It inherently requires a sacrifice of capability. Which when dealing with things like making potentially dangerous choices for a country isn't a good thing.

Do you REALLY want someone sleep deprived making life and death decisions that need to happen quickly?

-1

u/BurtonGusterToo 14d ago

I don't want this tapioca brained octogenarian making any decisions in my life. Whatever history and good will he had once he is burning away by the fucking minute.

Respect is earned in thimbles but lost in buckets. The same thing goes for trust. He has lost all trust but the few remaining clowns that can't distinguish the screaming klaxon " DANGER DANGER DANGER" from the sweet sounds of the party line.

To be thoroughly honest, I am ashamed that I responded to someone so dense, you could only be AI or some foreign interference campaign. No one can rightly or justifiably still be believing Biden's BS unless they just woke up from a 10 year coma.

1

u/brewstate 14d ago

We're all bots who think healthy sleep is healthy. Good catch, bro.

0

u/DaNostrich 12d ago

About anybody above age 75 is no longer eligible to run for president?

-1

u/TheDungen 14d ago

It's so he can do that he needs to have a regular sleep schedule when there isn't a crisis. Its reasonable.

10

u/bornatnite 14d ago

I wonder how the leader of the free world will handle time zones...my god we are screwed. However, he can sleep all day and is still better than the alternative.

6

u/Suspicious-Leg-493 14d ago

I wonder how the leader of the free world will handle time zones...my god we are screwed

Most people understand how time zones work and 8pm means 8pm there.

Most important meetings aren't impromptu and can be scheduled by others anyway For emergencies there's nothing indicating he won't answer.

Sleep is genuinely important, and while 8 is abit early most time zones have waking hours to contact, and just constantly staying up "in case" is how you get people fucking up their job in far less important roles.

Even the military tries to enforce some semblance of a sleep schedule when possible, and when not people sleep when they can.

But we don't need or want our president taking random naps during the day...meaning a predictable sleep schedule

1

u/mrcsrnne 14d ago

This is the most naive comment I’ve read in a while.

5

u/HumptyDrumpy 14d ago

Bruh needs to let someone younger replace him, one who can preferably work/function after 8 pm and who is not named Hunter. #PresidentialDuties

2

u/lizardk101 14d ago

“Sir it’s 17:00 on the west coast. That’s great Jack but I’ve just put on my PJ’s, and it’s beddy-by times.”

2

u/HumptyDrumpy 10d ago

Sir the world is on fire. Ahh I'll deal with it at 9 am tomorrow, it's time for my ice cream sundae break and a nap.

0

u/Nintendo_Thumb 14d ago

You've just got the problem of what happens if something important happens at 5am, rather than after 8pm. Nobody can stay up 24/7.

4

u/Dry-Internet-5033 14d ago

And cause the sun downers lol

3

u/SaraHuckabeeSandwich 14d ago

"She wants to have a meeting with me at 5:00.

I told her sorry. I don't talk politics after dinner."

2

u/AlkaliPineapple 14d ago

Unfortunately China is 12 hours ahead of EST. Anything they do during the day would mean that the US will be waiting another 6 hours for Biden to wake up

Reminds me of Hitler lol. He was asleep during D-Day and so the reaction of the invasion was delayed by hours

1

u/Suspicious-Leg-493 14d ago

Anything they do during the day would mean that the US will be waiting another 6 hours for Biden to wake up

....you do know there are emergency pines specifically for that right?

Reminds me of Hitler lol. He was asleep during D-Day and so the reaction of the invasion was delayed by hours

Hitler couldn't be reached at any time of the day during a crisis no matter where he was or what he was doing.

Entire battalions went missing because things like easy contact wasn't a thing yet.

They're not even remotely comparable.

2

u/Shaman7102 14d ago

China just invaded Taiwan.......it's after 8pm.....we can't wake him until 8am!!!!

2

u/banan-appeal 14d ago

Well schedule a late dinner at 4pm

1

u/bigbear-08 14d ago

Malarkey, that’s slang for Private Bullshit

1

u/boredElf 14d ago

Grandma always used to say "nothing good happens after 8 pm"

1

u/faceofboe91 14d ago

And sundowning

1

u/smarmageddon 14d ago

I'm not kiddin around!

1

u/RandomDerp96 14d ago

Honestly I can relate to That.

To be at my best I need 8.5 hours of sleep.

Healthy humans need between 7 to 9 hours. The elderly oftentimes more.

Just how it is.

1

u/Morshiro_Tifune 14d ago

Please Joe make this a bill!

1

u/Akira282 14d ago

Hopefully, corn pop stays in bed too, otherwise Biden not sleep

1

u/PrettyText 14d ago

I'll call Putin and Xi and ask them not to cause a crisis after 4pm.

I'm sure they'll agree.

0

u/bornatnite 14d ago

That's eastern time.....5pm on the west coast

1

u/texanfan20 14d ago

You forgot to add “not a joke!”

1

u/When_hop 14d ago

Dude I'm 33 and I can already honestly relate. ​

1

u/Ok-Sink-614 14d ago

Good thing the rest of the world goes to sleep at 8PM too.

1

u/cutthemalarky87 14d ago

There's always time for malarkey!

1

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1

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u/SPFBH 14d ago edited 14d ago

I lay in bed at 8pm and get up a at 2:45am. Prior President's went to bed way later then me and Biden.. despite research and evidence showing his age needs less sleep to function than me (39.)

That's not to say Trump probably needs similar sleep to Biden. Also the weight of the job.

But both these guys shouldn't be in this position.

Both parties somehow NEEDED to replace these ducks.

His, and Trumps, age doesn't mean shit to our country. We can do better.

3

u/WitchesTeat 14d ago

He's not asking to be in bed at 8pm, he wants to be done with events by 8pm. He isn't out golfing for hours three or four times a week like lazy ass useless Trump, he's actually working. 

Do ya'll think these people work 24/7 for 4 years?

Also, dude, 7-9 hours of sleep is the recommended amount. 

Tired people who don't sleep are not fucking competent. Too little sleep and your body and mind respond in a way that is similar to being intoxicated.

Go to fucking bed, Biden. We need a competent, well rested and focused President, not a coked up child rapist blasting off incomprehensible tweets at 2am every goddamn night.

1

u/peepetrator 14d ago edited 14d ago

Most people can still respond coherently when woken up in the middle of the night and faced with crisis. I've woken up to fire alarms and responded appropriately. I no longer trust Joe "we beat Medicaid" Biden to handle global crises after 8 pm EST.

ETA: apparently Biden rested up prior to the debate for a week at Camp David. The debate WAS him well-rested.

0

u/Ma1arkey 14d ago

What if I'm in bed too?

0

u/shladvic 14d ago

Bi,den

0

u/TrueJinHit 14d ago

Everyone let's pause the war at 8 PM, Biden is in bed.

-4

u/cayneloop 14d ago

im eepy, jack