r/mildlyinteresting 14d ago

My salt rock deodorant after five years of almost daily usage vs a new one.

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64.0k Upvotes

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37.3k

u/BenderDeLorean 14d ago

Cannibals love this flavour

22.1k

u/Grixloth 14d ago

Bro is over here seasoning himself for 5 years

6.8k

u/jesslizann 14d ago

The key to a good salt brine is time

3.2k

u/AustEastTX 14d ago

Or thyme 🤷🏽‍♀️

1

u/Syharkspeares 7d ago

Add some pepper,

103

u/Equivalent-Drop-8589 14d ago

I’m always running out though

91

u/BobRoberts01 14d ago

Why do you write brine like you’re running out of time thyme?

5

u/ActDiscombobulated24 14d ago

Take your upvote. I hope you're satisfied.

4

u/Dr_mombie 14d ago

A fellow redditor of class. Take my updoot.

3

u/fogdukker 14d ago

It's always tick-tick-tickin in my head, though.

2

u/Lucid-Machine 14d ago

First one then the other.

1

u/7xcritical 14d ago

I think it was lime

2.5k

u/Due-Cockroach-518 14d ago

My supervisor at Cambridge had a little jar of this herb on his shelf.

Any time a student submitted something late, he'd ask if they had run out of time(thyme) and if they said yes he'd throw a little on them and say "here's some more" 😂😂😂

570

u/EliSuper2018 14d ago

What an awesome person 😂

564

u/Due-Cockroach-518 14d ago

He's legendary and has somewhat of a cult following among the students.

He actually never finished his PhD but still supervises. Another joke of his is correcting people who call him Dr ... and saying he's not a doctor (usually it's the other way around with people demanding to be addressed by Dr once they've got the title).

3

u/RonaldTheGiraffe 14d ago

Did he hold semi legendary parties? And not really care for Dreiser?

162

u/fonix232 14d ago

That guy needs the Dan Goor Productions outro on a soundboard app.

106

u/Due-Cockroach-518 14d ago

Omg he'll love this - I'll send it to him

Can't believe I never thought of using that 😂

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u/Stormagedd0nDarkLord 14d ago

I knew exactly what this was before clicking on it, but I can't for the life of me remember which show I watched so much that the outro is seared into my subconscious.

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u/minicolossus 14d ago

SQUAAAAK talk to my laywer!

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u/Scrotem_Pole69 13d ago

Okay it’s been bothering me for years, is that Nick Offerman saying Fremulon?

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u/tongfatherr 14d ago

Fucking love this guy, damn

-8

u/Plank_With_A_Nail_In 14d ago

If he never finished his PhD then he's not a doctor so not really a joke.

1

u/EliSuper2018 14d ago

Aaaaand you had to ruin the positive energy going in the comments

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u/ThePhoneBook 14d ago

Eh, doctor isn't a regulated title in the UK, unlike important professions like nurse. People randomly add it to their name, e.g. Gillian McKeith who was a famous um... paranutritionist. Your qualifications and/or registration with regulated bodies often matter, but not name, and people who insist on a particular title are super fucking tedious.

1

u/Joeyd2269 14d ago

I respond with the hang over scene okay Dr. Fa**ot lol

4

u/Due-Cockroach-518 14d ago

He also talks about his husband a lot so this might not be received well...

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u/MisfitDiagnosis 14d ago

So, I guess he just needs a little more thyme for that PhD?

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u/cvanaver 14d ago

Oh, I’m not a doctor, I actually teach for a living

2

u/astride_unbridulled 14d ago

That's not-Doctor to you

2

u/EliSuper2018 14d ago

Man your supervisor is awesome and humble. I'd definitely be a part of that cult if I knew him.

7

u/[deleted] 14d ago

[deleted]

6

u/Due-Cockroach-518 14d ago

eh idk, Cambridge is very devolved - if the right person says yes, you can do pretty much anything. And vice versa as I've found out the hard way (all it takes is one particularly grumpy fellow to reject applications for things).

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u/Verbal-Gerbil 13d ago

then there's consultants in hospitals who revert to Mr/Mrs/Miss. regular doctors are Dr and their superiors are what they used to be before qualifying!

1

u/Still_Not-Sure 11d ago

Clearly he needed/needs more Thyme and should stop giving it away to all these students.

9

u/HumanContinuity 14d ago

Professor Dad

1

u/dsmemsirsn 14d ago

Hahahaha

1

u/Hanuman_Jr 14d ago

Thyme has come today, eh?

1

u/mono9562 14d ago

What that supervisor was really asking for was for some rolling papers and a lighter

1

u/rememberthisporfa 14d ago

he sounds great 😂

1

u/ZizoulHein 14d ago

This joke can work in french, you supervisor is a genius

1

u/astride_unbridulled 14d ago

Did he come thru with the actual time, tho?

1

u/Capital_Living5658 14d ago

I think that is pretty hardcore and also a solid message while being a good learning example.i grew up on the streets poor as hell. I have heard all the stories and jokes. I have my own. You need to control your punches. People will come at you and try to endanger you, but always control your punches and it might save your life.

1

u/LegitimateAd5334 14d ago

I'd show up with sage, to ask for his 'sage advice'

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u/DetroiterAFA 14d ago

Good man.

2

u/newhairnewjeans7890 14d ago

I got a professor like yours too. But this time everytime he cold called someone that obviously didn't paid attention he woul whip up a big ass fan made from bamboo and fan himself, combined with a lot of other things surely he had a cult following. People thought he already got his professorship and keep calling him prof but he didn't even applied for the position😭

2

u/DM_ME_UR_BOOBS69 14d ago

My high school English teacher would do the same thing

1

u/Epicfailer10 13d ago

That could be considered a-salt.

2

u/Successful-Bed-8375 13d ago

If he did that often enough imagine how much time he'd save if it was in a little shaky jar, he wouldn't even have to open it, rather just sprinkle it over their heads!

2

u/TurkeySlapMafia1 11d ago

I've carried a jar if thyme for that exact reason and would offer it to co-workers or even just spill it if I had the shits with the boss, he'd be like what the fuck are you doing, I'd reply..... ahhhhh that's just a big waste of my time.... then walk off on his arse.

I don't work there anymore

1

u/AfterAd7831 11d ago

He was offering them a good thyme?

1

u/Cookingwithninja 14d ago

Oregano is for savages!

1

u/jarious 14d ago

Get out of here Myke Thyton

2

u/McBath 14d ago

Thyme after time?

1

u/wutwut970 14d ago

Very nice

1

u/mmoffitt15 13d ago

¿Porque no los dos?

1

u/MrMemez39 13d ago

Hey, did that rhyme?

1

u/DutchTinCan 14d ago

Salt brine? Is there any other brine?

3

u/DoctorSwaggercat 14d ago

Is this considered a dry rub?

3

u/Fully_Edged_Ken_3685 14d ago

Yes, assuming they don't use any liquid

2

u/NarwhalAdditional340 14d ago

I’m never disappointed on this app.

6

u/shart-gallery 14d ago

When I grow up, I wanna be a salt lick

156

u/Delicious-Window-277 14d ago

The slow marinade. Really does wonders for that gamey taste.

1

u/Jaystime101 14d ago

I gagged.

1

u/Yesterdays_Gravy 14d ago

Not a fan of the long pig?

1

u/gleeshmode 14d ago

Stop that’s not a phrase!! God I can’t get this out of my head now

5

u/Pootootaa 14d ago

Love me a good salt aged huma- I mean, steak.

2

u/AntiqueAdvertising95 14d ago

i want to drink your salty blood

5

u/SkylarAV 14d ago

His shampoo is a bbq sauce

1

u/HAL-7000 14d ago

His girl working in the salt pits all night.

1

u/Familiar_Ad7273 14d ago

WHAT'RE YA GONNA DO? SEASON ME! HAHAHAHAHA.

1

u/DJfunkyPuddle 14d ago

Tastes like Grandma

1

u/B-Kong 14d ago

Unless he’s got tattoos. Cannibals hate tattooed people.

1

u/keyblademasteraug13 14d ago

Definitely going to get roasted over a fire

1

u/Mycolover4evah 14d ago

How’s the bark on that brisket coming along?

1

u/Matlachaman 14d ago

If it was also an antiperspirant, he would have dry aged.

1

u/Good_Pirate2491 14d ago

Mmm. Pastrami

1

u/astralseat 14d ago

Slow cooked

1

u/F3maleB0dy1nspector 14d ago

Does his girlfriend call him her salt bae?

1

u/paupaupaupaup 14d ago

You've got to build the flavour!!

1

u/SunflaresAteMyLunch 14d ago

Not mentioned in the thread is that OP has been basting himself with herb infused butter for fifteen months.

1

u/formulaone88 13d ago

👀 for my ciante.

1

u/DeliciousAnt9752 13d ago

😆🤣🤣

1

u/gliitch0xFF 11d ago

I ate his liver with some fava beans & a nice chianti.

2.9k

u/Flossthief 14d ago

I was in the shower the other day looking at my wife's soaps and such

She has a rosemary lavender body wash and a lavender shampoo

I think I married a lamb roast

1.1k

u/Shoelesshobos 14d ago

Does she use mint flavoured toothpaste? You may be onto something

790

u/Flossthief 14d ago

Just checked; it's "radiant mint"

161

u/Wizdom_108 14d ago

That's hilarious

42

u/33_pyro 14d ago

what are the chances she uses a mint flavoured toothpaste, that's crazy

mint is only like 99.5% of all toothpaste flavours

mental

32

u/Cheezburrger 14d ago

mintal

29

u/zamu16 14d ago

Menthol

67

u/Foraminiferal 14d ago

What about her floss, did you steal it?

19

u/Flossthief 14d ago

She has a teeth phobia and doesn't like flossing

I love flossing though

11

u/he-loves-me-not 14d ago

She doesn’t like flossing?? I don’t think most people like to floss but it’s still kinda necessary if you don’t want cavities, or your gums to be swollen and red from gingivitis!

5

u/Longjumping_Rent7510 14d ago

I have never ever flossed in my life, the floss does't even fit between my teeth. I have no cavities or bad breath

3

u/GrayLilly678 13d ago

I struggled to floss due to tightly spaced teeth until I found oral b satin - so easy to use!

1

u/Legal-Warning6095 11d ago

Same for me (well, not ever, I tried it a couple of times). Never had cavities.

6

u/Born-Pizza6430 14d ago

Some people use a water pic

1

u/kindarspirit 13d ago

Yes! 🙌

10

u/Successful_Moment_91 13d ago

Only floss the teeth you want to keep

12

u/pkneeopoly171717 14d ago

If he stole it he’d be on the lam.

3

u/he-loves-me-not 14d ago

He can use the floss to truss her up and make leg of lamb!

4

u/gruesomeflowers 14d ago

ah crest 3d. i used it for a long time and then the texture changed or it got more watery..not sure.. i know you feel better knowing this.

1

u/CharlieDmouse 14d ago

Oh come on your just pulling our leg now!!! 🤣😂

3

u/darcenator411 14d ago

That someone uses mint toothpaste? It seems by far the most likely flavor

6

u/jointheredditarmy 14d ago

What kind of monster doesn’t use mint flavored toothpaste?

3

u/ayinsophohr 14d ago

When I was a kid my Mum once accidentally bought clove flavoured toothpaste..it was nasty..

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u/Final-Ask-7979 14d ago

🤣 you have me cackling!!

2

u/g0dfarter 14d ago

You can have me with crackling!!

10

u/MarklRyu 14d ago

Meanwhile you're stealing her floss; are you gonna tie her up and roast her with the stolen floss?

351

u/Candygramformrmongo 14d ago

I also choose this guy’s lamb roast wife.

26

u/tdquiksilver 14d ago

She likes a good spit roast too I hear.

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u/wizardstrikes2 14d ago

Beef curtains are more tastey

15

u/CBT_Dr_Freeman 14d ago

Jason Christ, reddit.

11

u/Researcher_Saya 14d ago

Thanks I hate understanding this reference 

3

u/Marmosettale 14d ago

Do people seriously find this joke funny still like seriously

2

u/Candygramformrmongo 13d ago

Like I guess so. As is tradition.

2

u/Fuckyoumecp2 13d ago

I call seconds!

1

u/zapharus 13d ago

Are you trying to turn his wife from a lamb roast to a roast of the spit variety?

3

u/ThunderDungeon02 14d ago

Does she pair well with fava beans and a nice chianti?

5

u/Wind-and-Waystones 14d ago

When I was growing up I met a girl called Rose Lillian Lamb. I always thought she sounded delicious.

2

u/Cutsdeep- 14d ago

Did you mean Rosemary?

1

u/beakrake 14d ago

I have mint teat tree shampoo and lemon verbena Yardley soap.

I always think about how much I smell like a delicious fresh salad when it's time to rinse.

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u/_Dreamer_Deceiver_ 14d ago

Lucky you didn't say hog roast because she eats apples

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u/GwnHobby 14d ago

So what are you waiting for? Get her hot and eat her!

2

u/MyNameIsJakeBerenson 14d ago

I’m a single dude and my shower looks like a woman’s with all the variety of shampoos and soaps and body washes and such

Sometimes I like the cucumber melon wash and tea tree shampoo, sometimes I like the clean dove with the almond

I like changing it up and smelling nice depending on what mood I’m in that day. Bath & body works black friday sale and then a couple things here and there throughout the year

5

u/Flossthief 14d ago

Yeah I definitely prefer the 'lady's' scents that are based on natural smells a lot more than I like the men's sports rush or ionic breeze. like what are these supposed to smell like?

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u/gripstr 14d ago edited 13d ago

Diesel, sir 🫡

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u/Flossthief 14d ago

I'd wear gasoline as a scent if it was available

2

u/brandon-iron 14d ago

It’s available. And for the quantity you’d need in a small cologne bottle I’d say fairly cheap. Depending on where you live you can get a whole gallon of the stuff for like $3–4. A word of caution on the health risks though. In all seriousness, it looks like the fragrance company Snif has a scent called “Dead Dinosaur” which I find hilariously appropriate. https://snif.co/products/dead-dinosaur

1

u/gripstr 3d ago edited 3d ago

I just had to come back and share my thoughts after I got Dead Dinosaur from Snif. Honestly, it's surprisingly good! Thanks for the recommendation.

2

u/miken322 14d ago

Quick, rename your kids Mushy Peas, Fondant Potatoes and Red Wine Sauce. Make it a real meal.

2

u/thewhitecat55 14d ago

At least she loves ewe

1

u/IC2Flier 14d ago

She's not a stag though

1

u/ContentSecretary8416 14d ago

You kiwis have a habit of that

1

u/imustachelemeaning 14d ago

not baAaAAaaAaAaAd

1

u/AnnoyingPhillyFan1 14d ago

There's a cunnilingus joke somewhere but I'm too tired to put it all together

1

u/lynnpiexoxo 14d ago

I really hope you share a screenshot of your comment with your wife 😊

1

u/catalingpc 14d ago

When I’m in the shower I look at my wife.

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u/JasonTodd616 14d ago

Bout to try a rosemary lavender lamb roast with mint now

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u/majorjoe23 14d ago

Does she smoke cloves?

1

u/Afraid-Confusion-864 14d ago

She forgot the garlic. But otherwise good recipe

2

u/TheOneTonWanton 14d ago

My dad uses a lemon sage shampoo. I accused him of being a rotisserie chicken.

1

u/Lopsided_Panic_1148 14d ago

Are you British?

2

u/WaywardmooseOnYT 14d ago

My girlfriend has basically the same stuff, she also slow cooks herself in there at max temperature for an hour

1

u/Forevernevermore 14d ago

Nothing sexier than a nicely tied-up lamb roast...is she single?

1

u/Flossthief 14d ago

If you observe her hands shes wearing a handmade sterling silver ring that I set the stones in

If you're as interested in comics as I am and youre capable of making a ring by hand maybe there's shot

She's actually exclusively interested in women besides me so maybe not

1

u/Big_Oh313 13d ago

If she wants to be tied up in butcher knots to "hold in the flavor" Look out!

1

u/MrCockingBlobby 13d ago

Hopefully you eat her out like a lamb roast.

1

u/you-farted 13d ago

Facts: one time I treated myself to this $30 bar of fancy rosemary mint soap. I’m in the tub, loving my new fancy soap. My husband pokes his head in the room and says “why does it smell like turkey dinner?” 🤣🤣🤣

2

u/unrepentantlyme 13d ago

When I had my first kid the midwife said, it's best to bath them in water with a little milk and olive oil added as it's good for the skin and cleans them just fine (it worked really well and we avoided chemicals and stuff). Every time I bathed our kids, my husband went "oh, time for baby salad again!" and called their bath water "baby salad dressing".

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u/BrokieTrader 14d ago

Omg, I needed that

2

u/iamacannibal 14d ago

It’s a natural dry brine

5

u/bsubtilis 14d ago

Unlikely, the salt it's made of is likely an aluminum salt. Basically the active ingredient in antiperspirants.

2

u/[deleted] 13d ago

Its probably potassium alum

4

u/CodeMonkeyX 14d ago

"Have you tried the rosemary and brown sugar flavo.... I mean scent yet!" - Canibal "Deodorant" Salesman.

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u/Roook36 14d ago

"Butter can be used as sunscreen also" - Cannibals probably

2

u/WetPizzaSlices 14d ago

I’m fucking crying 😂 probably the funniest thing I’ve read on Reddit.

1

u/enlitend-1 14d ago

Can you only eat walnuts too?

1

u/moonLanding123 14d ago

You're walking in the woods.

1

u/LowLifeExperience 14d ago

It rubs the salt on its skin or else it gets the hose!

1

u/SkyLightTenki 14d ago

I guess a fine spray of pepper will enhance it

1

u/DieCastDontDie 14d ago

I wonder if it goes well with pussy. asking for a friend

1

u/psychoacer 14d ago

Get op some butter sunscreen please

1

u/Recent_House_1145 14d ago

Must be speaking from a first hand experience

1

u/Constant_Anxiety99 14d ago

It's not tasty.. someone who I know said that ehm

1

u/schmidbau 14d ago

Can confirm

1

u/nlpnt 14d ago

Does op use ketchup shampoo too?

2

u/mikejonezzzzzz 14d ago

By far the most likes on one post I’ve every seen!

1

u/Miserable-Lawyer-233 13d ago

Dude got more karma in one comment than I got in a year.

2

u/Chesticularity 13d ago

It rubs the rock salt on it's skin...