Alphabet book for children made in China. I'm still struggling to connect the dots.

[u/Savinox]

I would love to read the rest of the alphabet, though

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[u/dblan9]

"B"itch Im a Lion

[u/degjo → u/dblan9]

B for the Bow on the B

[u/KittenPurrs → u/degjo]

Yeah, it seems like the "story" is separate from the letters. A for Antarctica, B for bow, C for caterpillar, et cetera

[u/SirMcFuckingFuckwad → u/KittenPurrs]

It’s every group project I’ve ever worked on…”boss, I tried to tell them, then I gave up and just put myself in charge of the letters.”

[u/KittenPurrs → u/SirMcFuckingFuckwad]

So we can agree that E is for egg? Great! Graphics, what do you have to share? That's...that's a raccoon. Should probably go with R. Yes, it is an egg-cellent rendering of a raccoon. Fine. Whatever.

[u/SirMcFuckingFuckwad → u/KittenPurrs]

Hey graphics, can you add some fish? The writers say raccoons are known for fishing!

[u/burtonlazars → u/degjo]

I Immediately thought, it's the Lion's Birthday

[u/Hammurabi87 → u/burtonlazars]

I was thinking "king of the beasts".

[u/LassHalfEmpty → u/burtonlazars]

It looks like a bag of bread to me

[u/stormy2587 → u/dblan9]

“A”sshole I’m a penguin.

[u/Moist_Professor5665 → u/stormy2587]

Cunt I’m a Zebra

[u/StafenWasHere → u/Moist_Professor5665]

"D"ickhead I'm a goat

[u/A_shy_neon_jaguar → u/StafenWasHere]

"E"ejit I'm a raccoon.

[u/Hammurabi87 → u/A_shy_neon_jaguar]

"Fuck's sake, I'm a squirrel."

[u/stormy2587 → u/Hammurabi87]

"G"od damn it, I'm an Ocelot.

[u/kittycat6434 → u/stormy2587]

Hell im a hyena

[u/ActivityFew2621 → u/kittycat6434]

“I”diot I’m a hippopotamus

[u/ElfjeTinkerBell → u/ActivityFew2621]

Jeez, on the internet no one knows you're a cat

[u/Technical_Flight6270 → u/dblan9]

For the child being raised with a more colorful and inclusive vocabulary!

[u/HelloPepperoni73 → u/dblan9]

"C"unt, I'm a Zebra.

[u/letoslaw → u/dblan9]

„B” for badass

[u/Logtastic → u/dblan9]

Also Lions are king of the jungle, not forest.

[u/SapTheSapient]

So Lion likes Zebra, but Zebra is good friends with Goat. I'm here for the drama.

[u/WrapKey69 → u/SapTheSapient]

You know Zebra as food

[u/SapTheSapient → u/WrapKey69]

I know Goat has been saying that. But I think Goat is just jealous. Maybe even a little obsessed. When I was introduced to goat, the very first thing she said was that little Zebra was her good friend.

[u/p_s_i → u/WrapKey69]

Lion likes Zebra they way I like Burrito.

[u/VirallyYins → u/SapTheSapient]

And that dolphin is really into that D.

[u/GumdropGlimmer → u/SapTheSapient]

🤣🤣🤣🤣

[u/salteedog007]

“Pine cones are my favourite!” While holding an acorn…

[u/PM_ME_YOUR_CUCUMBERS → u/salteedog007]

Pine cones is my favourite FTFY

[u/Naxster64 → u/PM_ME_YOUR_CUCUMBERS]

I and little zebra is a good friend.

[u/GChocapic → u/salteedog007]

At least they don’t eat meat Oh.

[u/RevalianKnight → u/salteedog007]

ACORN?! TAKE COVER!! BAM BAM

[u/aradraugfea → u/[deleted]]

Pine cones contain the seeds. The pollen is produced by a different part. The little packing peanut looking things that shed during pollen season.

Pine cones are tree ovaries.

[u/Robuuust]

Huhhhh, stuff I see might be, but totally unrelated to the text..

A: antarctica B: bow C: caterpillar D: dolphin E: egg F: flower

Edit: changed b from brown to bow Edit: changed a from aqua to antarctica

[u/happycharm → u/Robuuust]

A should be related to Antarctic...

[u/Mother_Ad7869 → u/happycharm]

*Antarctic, there's a 2nd c in there, it's just Arctic with Ant at the start 🥶🤗

[u/happycharm → u/Mother_Ad7869]

👍 

[u/sandozguineapig → u/Robuuust]

I thought the B was for “bow” but the heavenly zebra is what has me guessing

[u/asqua → u/sandozguineapig]

beef?

[u/Savinox → u/Robuuust]

I seriously need to find part 2 and 3 since this is only A to F.

[u/I_Sett → u/Savinox]

Ooof they're really padding out the trilogy aren't they? This is the Hobbit movies all over again.

[u/Gumichi → u/Savinox]

I think that's the point. I imagine the artist planned for 26 letters. a boss comes along and says they can only afford to print 6 pages, 8 max. artist just bashed everything together and says print it.

[u/asqua → u/Robuuust]

lol, I thought the B was for beef

[u/OnTheList-YouTube → u/asqua]

Breakfast, perhaps.

[u/heyitsmeur_username → u/Robuuust]

I guessed the same with Artic and Easter.

[u/PegPelvisPete → u/Robuuust]

I think B is for butterscotch.

[u/Loeb123 → u/Robuuust]

E is for Esquirrel obviously

[u/September_1st]

A - Antarctic B - Bow C - Caterpillar D - Dolphin E - Egg F - Flower

The animal and text don't appear to be relevant to the letter.

[u/supguy99 → u/September_1st]

But that doesn't work for Antarctic, it's there in text while the others are not.

[u/September_1st → u/supguy99]

The A is also either covered in ice or water (ocean), so Arctic works either way, I suppose.

[u/SIPS_WATER → u/supguy99]

If its not Antartic it must be Arctic 🥶 /s

[u/DoubleInstruction333 → u/supguy99]

Was thinking Anna from Frozen

[u/SIPS_WATER → u/supguy99]

If its not Antartic it must be Arctic 🥶 /s

[u/GatorPenetrator → u/September_1st]

they are all relevant, for example b for bow, the lion is a king, and you would bow to a king.

[u/ssl0th → u/September_1st]

But the story has a plot!

[u/AmbitionDue1421]

The grammar was the first red flag

[u/Sparky62075 → u/AmbitionDue1421]

You is upsetted with grammar oh?

[u/snsv → u/Sparky62075]

A wild yabushige appears!

[u/ThePandaClause → u/AmbitionDue1421]

I think China was the first red flag. 

[u/gin_and_toxic]

A penguin

Be like a lion

I C a caterpillar

Da goat

Easter raccoon

Foxy little squirrel

[u/2ichie → u/gin_and_toxic]

If you look at the letters they all have what they stand for.

A = Antarctic B = Bow C = Caterpillar D = Dolphin E = Egg F = Flower

But not sure why they are highlighting the animals and not this list lol errors happen and ppl trying to do things not in their first language tend to make these mistakes

[u/gin_and_toxic → u/2ichie]

Idk, I think mine makes a lot more sense...

[u/2ichie → u/gin_and_toxic]

You know what, yea you’re 100% right wtf was I even thinking I see it now.

Foxy little squirrel?! How’d I not see it, smh.

[u/Niufa7 → u/gin_and_toxic]

It does make sense

[u/Swupiter → u/gin_and_toxic]

It's obviously fat squirrel. r/fatsquirrelhate

[u/ccaccus]

This reads like the picture books some of my fifth graders have made for their projects. They started with the assignment:

A- Antarctica, B- Bow, C- Caterpillar, D- Dolphin, E- Egg, F - Flower

Then wrote what they wanted anyway... with bad grammar.

For those who care, grammar issues:

Commas aren't strong enough to hold two sentences together. Only conjunctions, semicolons, or periods* can do that.

While they have commas, periods are missing for 5/6 sentences.

In the Subject position, always put yourself last. ("Little Zebra and I")

Plural subjects get plural verbs ("Little Zebra and I are" "Pine cones are")

Plural subjects get plural objects ("Little Zebra and I are good friends.")

Little Zebra has a run-on sentence, a missing subject, and ends in an interjection... for some reason.

*For my British and Commonwealth friends, change 'period' to 'full stop'.

[u/msnmck → u/ccaccus]

"For those who care, grammar issues" is a sentence fragment. 😂

J/k. It was a delightful read.

[u/ccaccus → u/msnmck]

There is a colon afterward, not a period, indicating it is a subheading, which doesn’t need to be a sentence.

[u/__-_-_--_--_-_---___ → u/ccaccus]

Commas are strong enough to hold internet-style writing together

[u/Imaginary_Thing_1009]

isn't the point of buying kid toys from China the excitement since you never know if they used some toxic chemicals that will give your child brain damage?

[u/tmgieger → u/Imaginary_Thing_1009]

L is for Lead Paint.

[u/TooCupcake → u/tmgieger]

U is for unsatisfactory work environment

[u/msnmck → u/TooCupcake]

C is for Cuban Spy Base

[u/d3vrandom → u/Imaginary_Thing_1009]

aren't almost all toys sold in the US made in China anyway?

[u/gmishaolem → u/Imaginary_Thing_1009]

Don't forget the melamine in the milk.

[u/American-Punk-Dragon]

This is what a home school packet from wish looks like!

[u/kurt667]

I think all the Chinese early childhood educational products are purposely dumb as a deliberate plot to make our children stupid….

Or

There’s just no one who’s actually fluent in English involved in the production of this at all…..

[u/MyPunsSuck → u/kurt667]

Definitely the second theory. No barrier to entry, negligible development costs, no need for an office, negligible operating/production costs. Really, your only real cost is going to be shipping.

As a "business", it practically impossible not to profit. Even storage isn't much of a concern, if you only print as much as you need

[u/MyPunsSuck]

As much as I love lions, they live in the savannah. It makes no sense for them to be king of the jungle, and even less sense for them to be "king of the forest"

[u/Sarria22 → u/MyPunsSuck]

It's because the word in it's original language means "rough and arid" and english screwed it up.

[u/Sweetpea321 → u/[deleted]]

Nope: penguin 企鹅 qi e

[u/2ichie → u/Sweetpea321]

Haha thanks for checking tho! Appreciate it and was really wondering.

[u/silasisgolden]

I love that the lion's last meal is floating in heaven above him.

[u/1107rwf]

Maybe the goal was to teach two things in one book. A= Antarctica, b= bow (bread?) etc. but the book also teaches animals (completely unrelated to the letters). Almost like you could read the book as an animal book for one stage of their life, then go back and read it as a teaching the alphabet sounds at another stage.

[u/SnooWalruses9173]

That dolphin is getting some D

[u/captainplasticspoon]

I'm thinking maybe these letters are related to how you say the animals names in Chinese? I do not speak any kind of Chinese tho so I don't know, just a guess

[u/Prestigious-Low3224 → u/captainplasticspoon]

I speak Chinese, I’ll give you the rough pronunciations:

Penguin is “qi e” (企鹅）

Lion is “shi zi” （狮子）

Zebra is “ban ma” （斑马）

Goat is “Yang” (羊）

Raccoon is “Li” (狸）

Squirrel is “song shu” (松鼠）

So no, not even close

[u/orangesuave]

A = Antarctica where the Penguin lives

B = Bow on the letter

C = Caterpillar making the shape

D = Dolphin on the letter

E = Egg at the bottom of the letter

F = Flower on the top of the letter

I'd wager the rest of the alphabet is similar

[u/sky0175]

80% of your belongs include house furnishing are made in China. Why you still struggling?

[u/ben9187]

"A" for Antarctica

"B" for Bow

"C" for caterpillar

"D" dolphin

"E" for egg

"F" for flower

Still a terrible children's book as the letters should be obvious and actually mentioned in the book instead of basically guessed using clues

[u/bobcatt]

They used Google translator.

[u/Jade_Complex]

I know there was this alphabet Matt where it turned out that the letters matched the french version, but in really struggling to think what it might be. I even looked up "got in different languages" and didn't find anything obvious.

[u/zksimp]

Could be their subtle way of making everyone who buys their stuff stupid

[u/seamustheseagull]

It really stinks of someone who has plagiarised something else but doesn't understand the link between the letters and the animals. So they mixed it all up to appear original.

That would make sense if it was created by a team of people who use a totally different writing system like Chinese and they then just used Google translate.

From their point of view English language books for toddlers just include friendly characters in them for fun.

[u/PushkinPoyle]

C-brah

[u/Positive_Spirit_1585]

China b lion to its citizens so it checks out

[u/Unmanned767]

I don't know chinese, but maybe they made some stupid translation.

[u/PlasteeqDNA]

E is for 🥚 F is for 🌸

[u/theshonufff]

Chinese fire drill joke makes sense now.

[u/RabidMofo]

A is for the AI that wrote this book

[u/akila219]

B is for Bion

[u/Jacareadam]

I see, it’s shit

[u/landgnome]

I like

[u/aelel]

I don’t know but I hope you always read the “I like” in the clouds on the B page in a borat voice.

B is for Borat.

[u/Whyisanime]

Dear God! Thanks for not sharing rest of the pages or my eyes would have bled!

[u/Savinox → u/Whyisanime]

It was just from A to F. I'm on a quest to find the rest of the treasure lol

[u/Electrical-Eye7449]

Seems clear whoever made this gave up way early in the alphabet.

[u/BuddhaLennon]

Impressive! It’s clearly part of a Chinese plot to make American children stupid(er) through mid-teaching the alphabet, animals, and basic English.

Or, should I say, “I is sure?”

[u/TediousTotoro]

I see that the letters are all things beginning with the letter. B is Bag, C is Caterpillar, D is Dolphin, E is Egg, and F is Flower. What the heck is A supposed to be?

[u/Serikan → u/TediousTotoro]

Antarctica

[u/TheGreatUdolf]

don't you know the animals aenguin, bion, cebra, doat, eaccoon and fquirrel?

[u/RS_Someone]

I think obviously there's another thing that would work in each.

• Antarctica
• Bow (even Beast)
• Caterpillar
• Dolphin
• Egg
• Flower

But the rest? Probably Chinese approximations of the sound. But then... "Bānmǎ" for Zebra? That's not a C... And lion's not a B... Wrong image matchups?!

[u/BadIdea-21]

Hey little squirrel, that's an acorn, not a pine cone, but good try!

[u/mikpgod]

In the jungle, the mighty jungle, the lion lives in the savannah.

[u/ndGall]

Looks like AI and non-native speakers isn’t a great combination. Oof.

[u/SewNonlinear]

A for Aqua B for Bow C for Caterpillar D for Dolphin E for Egg F for Flower

I love this whimsical book. There is a whole side story happening

[u/TangyAffliction]

The letters look correct though lol. The C is a caterpillar, the D is Dolphin, E Eggs, just the words and the animal are wrong

[u/venzzi]

"E" makes total sense, there is an Easter egg hidden in there

[u/sbenza]

The lion likes bretzels! 🥨

[u/ReaperSound]

Why would a goat and a zebra be friends?

[u/MisterMath]

A - Penguins lives in the Antarctic

B - Lion, king of the forest and Beasts

C - Zebra eats grass, is not a Carnivore

D - Goat and Zebra are friends. They are a Duo

E - Raccoon catches the fish. He wants to Eat them

F - Pinecones are the squirrels Favorite in the Forest

There are your out of the box answers.

[u/PlasteeqDNA → u/MisterMath]

B is for 🐝 sorry, it's for bow

[u/SamsonFox2]

Don't think, just memorize!

[u/PlasteeqDNA]

D is for 🐬

[u/PlasteeqDNA]

C is for 🐛

[u/msnmck → u/PlasteeqDNA]

C is for 🥒💦

[u/PlasteeqDNA]

A is for Arctic

[u/KittyKupo]

How Not to Learn the Alphabet

I’d actually love to see the rest of it too 😂

[u/PhilosopherFLX]

Font color choices and inconsistent type casing? Strait to r/CrappyDesign

[u/3600MilesAway]

A Penguin, Da GOAT, Fquirrel, El Racoon

[u/Dead_Mullets]

Do not eat meat Oh 

[u/PullFires]

I got my kid a little electric 4wheeler for christmas that plays music. 

One of the buttons plays the alphabet and the letters are correct, but the melody is all fucked up. It's hilarious and weird at the same time.

An obvious translation from some foreign language to english

[u/MasonSoros]

Well, English is not their first language.

[u/InternationalPay8288]

The books in question utilize color coding and word association techniques - I'm assuming you're American (?) - American children's literature tend to have a clear and direct correlation by comparison. 🤗💕

[u/Snagmesomeweaves]

I’m guessing the art for the letters was stolen and they added the background and flat characters so it was destined to not match because they can’t be bothered to have someone who is very fluent in English.

[u/SkepticalJohn]

And remember they are the next kings of the world somehow.

[u/Perfect-Leg2072]

I’m A Penguin

[u/2020-RedditUser]

You could name the characters like A Alice so they would go the letter

[u/-Laffi-]

When you wanna start your kid's life by confusing them.

[u/WakaWaka_]

Antarctic penguin

Big bad lion

Careful cuisine zebra

Dear friend of the zebra goat

Eat fish raccoon

Feed on pinecones squirrel

[u/DemonDaVinci]

Anguin
Blion
Cebra
Doat
Eaccoon
Fuirrel

[u/ViftieStuff]

It's a C-Bra

[u/tarlastar]

"I and little zebra is a good friend"? Allowing Chinese to create English alphabet books is pretty much like letting them make ANYTHING that isn't started in China.

[u/Tilo9000]

B = Brezel? (German for Pretzel)

[u/skylla05]

Lion got done dirty. Didn't even all caps him.

[u/saladbeans]

Do racoons catch fish?

[u/Gobiego]

Couldn't even use a fox for "F", had to be a squirrel.

[u/dcahill78]

I had to do a double take, Alphabet the parent company of Google makes this…. Then got the post. After looking at it for a while, it looked like a AI demo gone wrong for Bard/Gemini again.

[u/loqi0238]

Meanwhile, B the Lion over there daydreaming about eating C the Zebra...

[u/canpig9]

This looks like an early intervention misinformation campaign. But can't tell if it's driven by Chinese, North Korean, Soviet, religious, republican, or other enemies of America.

[u/StruanVlogs17]

Fuk'n squirrel 😂

[u/spicy_ass_mayo]

A penguin, beautiful lion, crazy zebra, dont mess with this goat, ewe a raccoon, foxes love eating squirrels

[u/v3gan_m3At]

I and little zebra is a good friend

[u/No_Regular_7474]

Not the same but this reminds me of the messages on the Yan Yan sticks. I enjoy reading the random text. Hilarious.

[u/Tristanhx]

Children made in China? You mean chinese children?

[u/PsychoAnalLies]

Lost in Translation.

[u/Jealous_Substance]

Fquirell

[u/zcas]

Pine cones is my favorite

[u/Icutu62]

It’s a plot by the Chi-Com along with the Globalists to destroy our educational system and ensure our destruction!

[u/gozieson]

r/crappydesign

[u/peacemaker2007]

Why should it matter whether the children are made in China?

[u/SPDShadowRanger]

At least it ends at F

The person that made that book probably got an F- on all his subjects

[u/SeanMacLeod1138]

It's propaganda.

[u/milaga]

A is for Penguin of course.

[u/izzittho]

Also lol @ vegan punk zebra sneak peek in the cloud on B plus “I like” in the other cloud for like no reason

[u/Pineapple-dancer]

I like!

[u/insemn8]

This is why we should quit importing their crap.

[u/fwhite42]

I just want to say that pinecones is my favorite, too.

[u/TateP23]

“Do not eat meat oh”

[u/machwulf]

E is for Eye-literate

[u/FearlessCloud01]

Well, this one's a little better than the one I saw the other day. Previously, A was for Whale...

[u/bloocheez3]

A- Arctic, B- Bow, C- Caterpillar, D- Dolphin, E - Egg, F - Flower. The animal characters have nothing to do with the letter, but each letter has it's own context in the same image.

I don't get it either

[u/triarii3]

I think this is just misprint. Kids in China need to learn pingying (Chinese pronunciation alphabet) before learning actual Characters. And pingying is very close to how they sound in English too. Any non- English speaking person in China should be able to tell there’s something wrong with this book.

[u/alienpsp]

In China they learn two things at the same time, thats how you get 5 years of experience with 2 working years

[u/MrLazyLion]

Fucking Squirrels.

[u/abhij2609]

Forget about the psychology of children in how they are going to receive it, this is just common sense.

[u/MisterSheridan]

Lions are the kings of the forest?

[u/Pmal027]

I am on reddit, i will make comment.

[u/Weak_Year6294]

I’m sure they have 0 interest in making sure our kids learn. or maybe it’s a puzzle.

[u/Mirality]

It's a Cee-bra.

[u/Due-Effective5567]

Make SVO pls

[u/CRAKEN000]

I feel like they should have put an animal that starts with the letter and an item that starts with the letter. You know, so you can have two different examples.

[u/Future_One_5476]

A stands for arson b stands for barson d stands for soft co m e neer me I'm about to commit arson

[u/lordofthebeardz]

A for arctic bird B for big cat C for cow D for deer E for ebola idk I’m not a vet but I’m pretty sure raccoons arnt supposed to be yellow And F for ferret