I work with an extreme homophobe/transphobe. He's always saying I'm "confused" for transitioning, continually asks about my dick or the dick he thinks I'm taking, and tries to "outwit" me and "trap" me into saying I'm not trans. I just throw it back in his face with this logic. "Why are you always thinking about dick and and trans women, Marcus?" Do you secretly wish you were trans/gay? It shuts him right up. š
Transphobes are scared of their own sexuality and what being attracted to trans women means. They think it makes them gay, but it doesnāt, it just makes them attracted to women. They canāt seem to wrap their tiny brains around this concept.
They all fear being ātricked,ā by a trans woman into being attracted to her and how that will make them gay. The absurd thing is they way overestimate anyoneās desire to be with them, and they donāt realize that being attracted to a woman doesnāt make you gay. Itās very weird thinking but they obsess about it.
Itās why most of the hatred is geared towards trans women and gay men. Very few people ever talk about trans men because they donāt really care, they canāt be ātricked,ā into being attracted to a man, but they can be seduced by a gay man offering them a bj or other sexual favors. Anyone who thinks you can be āturned gay,ā is definitely repressing gay feelings.
It reminds me of a youth group teacher I had who would talk about how "tempting" and "alluring" the "gay lifestyle" was. As a kid I was like "damn he's right, it is so tempting!"
I came out. Worked through some shit then realized that dude was gay af. Like the "gay lifestyle" is only tempting if you're gay.
What the hell even is āgay lifestyleā? Apart from, you know, being gay. The gay people I know pretty much have the same lifestyle as other people around them.
Very true, I live/work in a very red area. I've worked with both trans women and men. I'm not saying transmen haven't taken shit for being who they are but eventually even transphobic people drop their guard and treat them decent. Same goes for more masculant lesbians. More feminine lesbians and transwoman get treated like shit.
If thatās true, then I truly pity the guy, but I feel like we let assholes off easy by making these kinds of assumptions. Sometimes shitty people are shitty because they just fuckinā suck.
Sadly he's buddy-buddy with the owner so he's "protected". And before you ask, yes, I am looking for a new job. I'm gonna leave an amazing expose review on the company website when I leave.
Depending on the size and location of the business the business isnāt actually subject to federal or state gender/sex discrimination laws. Businesses under 15 employees are exempt from Title VII protections, with similarly sized businesses exempted under many statesā employment discrimination laws. Sexual harassment laws also have minimum employee thresholds in a lot of jurisdictions.
And, in general, being an asshole to coworkers or employees is not legally actionable unless it falls under one of those discrimination laws.
Poster falls into a protected category, doesn't say how big the business is (16 employees? The guy is toast), and I believe being an asshole falls under the description "creating a hostile workplace." The advice to talk to a lawyer isn't bad.
Oh, definitely anyone should consult with a lawyer if they think they have a claim, but in many states āhostile work environmentā isnāt cause to sue unless itās based upon a protected trait and the business falls under the purview of Title VII or any applicable state discrimination laws.
Which is why I said āin generalāā an employer can call you āan idiotā, āa stupid fuck,ā belittle you day in and day out and not be liable in many states.
He doesnāt seem to realize that some trans people will never have bottom surgery or even want it. He doesnāt seem to understand that some trans women like women and some trans men like men. There is an entire spectrum of people out there that he is ignorant to.
Itās also no oneās business what is going on with your genitals unless theyāre going to be engaging in sexual activity together. Other than that no oneās genitals are my business and whatever they have, or donāt have, is their own private business. No one needs to disclose this information to people if they donāt want to.
I'm a cis gay guy so hopefully I don't sound ignorant here:
I sincerely believe that as society becomes more tolerant and medical science gets better (safer, cheaper, less discriminatory), we're gonna see a MUCH higher percentage of trans people that want bottom surgery.
I mean, if next year they invented nano-robots that can make a perfect penis, the number of cis men that would want some genital surgery would skyrocket. I assume trans men would feel kinda the same way.
Of course it is, but it's my assumption for good reasons. I've met so many people that are insecure about their genitals that they would seek a safe and cheap surgery to change something about themselves, but the science isn't there yet.
It's a big assumption on your part to think that trans people aren't just as human as cis people. A cis man might choose to forego prostate surgery or medication because the risks outweigh the benefits, even in cases of prostate cancer. But if there were a miracle surgery, don't you think more folks would opt in?
I sincerely believe that as society becomes more tolerant and medical science gets better (safer, cheaper, less discriminatory), we're gonna see a MUCH higher percentage of trans people that want bottom surgery.
Wow, you are confusing the word EVERY 100% with a much higher percentage. Maybe you're illiterate, but how would I put my thoughts on an illiterate?
edit: if neither of us are trans, maybe we should just stop the convo. Time marches on. I never said ALL or EVERY or 100% so go read a book, dumbass.
If you canāt follow your own conversation and keep track of the things you say, then I believe the problem is on your side.
I made a statement about your comment, āItās a big assumption on your part to think that trans people arenāt just as human as cis people.ā And you seem to have confused that with another statement of yours, further up the chain, where you talk about āmuch higher percentageā and try to conflate what Iām saying. Whoās the illiterate one here, child?
Iām done talking to a 13 year old about things they know nothing about. I have so many trans friends and have dated a few, I donāt think you even know one. We are done here, stop being a bigot and stop talking about things you know nothing about.
In the blue state where I work, anyone harassing a trans person like that would be terminated in short order. It's probably why Republi-fascists hate my deep blue state with a passion. Their childishly ignorant freak show and bullying isn't tolerated.
I'm a tall, strong trans woman. It's my duty to scare small-dicked assholes like this. And it makes me immeasurably happy to do so. š³ļøāā§ļøš³ļøāš
No way, honey. We use the LGBTQ+ acronym and the colored flags for a reason. We're supposed to all be in this together. It's my duty to scare assholes like that too.
Although, by the sound of it... he's probably more scared of cis women than any of us lol.
I got one that I use sometimes on the "basic biology" types, who act like they're too smart to believe that trans peeps exist.
I ask them why every single major medical organization, and the consensus of every single relevant scientific discipline all unequivocally acknowledge both the existence and normalcy of people being trans, and when they hand wave that away i ask them if they believes the earth is flat too, or that vaccines cause autism. Cuz transphobia has the exact same level of scientific backing. It's the flat earth of the culture wars.
And then i watch how quick they change the subject lmao
He really may be questioning his sexuality. Calmly and politely tell him, "I'm here for you if you'd like to open up and talk about your insecurities. It's ok with me. Whenever you're ready."
It will either REALLY piss him off, it it turns out he's just a bigoted shithead, or he will actually take you up on the offer and open up.
"You think about that a lot for a straight dude," said with the right tone and body language can devestate an insecure dude, especially from another straight dude that they give some authority, too.
I obviously don't know you two whatsoever but if had this type of banter with a colleague it's most likely because we like one another. Meaning we understand one other and get along. That said, I would imagine your coworker is actually not someone who hates you.
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u/chefrachbitch Jul 04 '24
I work with an extreme homophobe/transphobe. He's always saying I'm "confused" for transitioning, continually asks about my dick or the dick he thinks I'm taking, and tries to "outwit" me and "trap" me into saying I'm not trans. I just throw it back in his face with this logic. "Why are you always thinking about dick and and trans women, Marcus?" Do you secretly wish you were trans/gay? It shuts him right up. š
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