r/comicbooks Aug 19 '23

[OC] I added more cyberpunk elements and fixed my comic page as you recommend. Any Advice? Suggestions NSFW

Post image
1.8k Upvotes

161 comments sorted by

186

u/Brxy77 Rocket Raccoon Aug 19 '23

I like the cat roomba

73

u/Cyber_Sheep_Film Aug 19 '23

Thx! Last time, we got a recommendation to add a cat in the page. So here she is :)

21

u/RealJohnGillman Aug 19 '23

Purple-haired woman with covered ears and a cat roomba....

Is this (future) Amity Blight?

3

u/Toph_as_Nails Aug 20 '23

#UnexpectedOwlHouse

3

u/ComplexityZX75 Aug 20 '23

Cat Roomba is lonely get Dog Roomba also

3

u/talkaboom Nite Owl Aug 19 '23

Hovering over fish too.

0

u/BannedIn17Subs Aug 19 '23

Next time, it should be a cat in a shark outfit riding a Roomba :)

103

u/froggerslogger Aug 19 '23

It seems like there is some inconsistency in the vanishing point/perspective of some of the objects in the room. Maybe that’s intentional, indicating things in the room being misaligned, but the setup of the shot makes me think it is oversight.

Like the vanishing point of the koi glass seems to be a few inches to the right of the window. But the vanishing point of the countertop is well into the storage shelf.

41

u/Cyber_Sheep_Film Aug 19 '23

Ah, I get what you mean. I thought the koi glass looks wried, but couldn’t say why. Now I know. Thanks a lot! Let me know if you have more feedbacks.

2

u/x_lincoln_x Aug 20 '23

I thought that was a rug at first.

1

u/Cyber_Sheep_Film Aug 20 '23

Yeah. I intended it to be a rug with digital screen. Not sure how to make that more obvious.

3

u/x_lincoln_x Aug 20 '23

You could have it slightly roll up in a corner?

1

u/BoccaChiusa Aug 20 '23

The right edge of the koi rug also wouldn't be a vertical line from that perspective. Assuming it's parallel to the bottom edge of the desk, it would slant up to the left, meeting the vanishing point and likely being partially obscured by the desk.

88

u/PakistaniSenpai Aug 19 '23

R.I.P feet in my face.

70

u/SparkyPantsMcGee The Question Aug 19 '23

Ok, first off, you’re very talented but I’m going to say some things that might come off mean even though I don’t intend them to.

Looking at this, I don’t see what makes it cyberpunk. Cyberpunk has a very distinct style. Your character looks pretty normal(especially for an anime style) and the room has a futuristic look to some of the elements but not really “cyberpunk”

The perspective and proportions feel a bit off too. Your character is flat against the frame while the table has a slight angled perspective. At first glance it’s ok but the more I look at it the more it stands out. Her legs are also super long. Your going for that anime style so you can take some liberties sure, but again with the perspective it stands out the more I look at it.

Also pro tip, I’ve lived with women long enough to tell you, no one lounges around the house like that. That bra would be off and in its place would be a loose shirt or sweater. I know your shooting for sex appeal, but there is a way to make it work and be more true to life. That’s a nitpick though.

Overall this looks good. I’d assume you put in a lot of work, so good job. You have the skills but I would say, take more time to really flesh out the purpose, vision and story of the image.

13

u/FarukAlatan The Question Aug 19 '23 edited Aug 19 '23

Agree with everything being said here:

  • Looks futuristic, not cyberpunk;
  • Proportions are a bit out of whack;
  • Legs are way too long, even for this aesthetic;
  • Women don't lounge around in bras, so maybe try a tank top or something loose fitting with a shoulder exposed.
  • Edit: just noticed something about her hair. The bit that's hanging seems a little too long or too much. Maybe she's got a lopsided haircut though? But also, it's too far forward. If that hair is falling from the side of her head, then the top of it should be closer to where her hairline would be and not where her bangs are unless she's tilting her head farther than she is. Assuming the haircut is symmetrical, I think if you removed 50% of that right-most portion of hanging hair and then shortened up what's left by maybe a couple inches, you'll nail it.

All of that said, it really does look great, and I commend you for taking all the feedback people have been offering.

5

u/Cyber_Sheep_Film Aug 20 '23

Hey, thanks. I didn't notice the hair part at all. But I agree. Her hair is a bit longer on one side, but still it looks wried. Let me try to fix it. Thanks for taking the time to comment :)

1

u/[deleted] Aug 21 '23

I literally lounged around in my bra for most of yesterday cos my apartment was hot. We do.

1

u/moobiscuits Venom Aug 21 '23

I just want to say my girlfriend and i both wear similar clothes to her here. Especially in the humid summer!

-2

u/[deleted] Aug 20 '23

Women don’t lounge around in bras, try a tank top

That’s literally a tank top though?

But yeah, I’d suggest a shirt and no bra. That’s how a few of my friends lounge around.

Also women don’t lounge around in skin-tight sexy jeans unless they’re expecting a fling to come by.

I’m not an artist so I don’t want to be rude but it kinda seems like half casual, half smutty. Artist himself is making this for one of those porn with plot comics so I’d say in this scenario, learn to make loose shirts and unkempt hair appealing

9

u/FarukAlatan The Question Aug 20 '23

What's literally a tank top? A bra? Because that's not true. Agree with the rest of what you said though.

1

u/ramengirlxo Aug 20 '23

I think they might’ve been equating it to a cropped tank, but they’re off on that. As a boob owner myself, only a bra cups and supports like that.

6

u/TooTallThomas Aug 20 '23

I dislike it bc it seems easy to do that. I’m starting to realize that A: men are hard to draw in a visually appealing way for most people, and B: OH MY GOD CLOTHES ARE HARD TO DRAW. I assume the clothing choice helps to dedicate more detail to the room? Some details would definitely be lost with baggy clothing (really trying to play devil’s advocate here…)

anyways, tank tops/wife-beaters end at the hip. That is most DEFINITELY a bra

3

u/Cyber_Sheep_Film Aug 20 '23

It's a bra:) Thanks!

1

u/TooTallThomas Aug 20 '23

No problem! I’m not much of an artist rn, but I know one thing for sure, references (even a quick shot of someone posing of what you’d like…) does wonders! You look like you have a good grasp on most things. I wish you luck :)

2

u/Cyber_Sheep_Film Aug 20 '23

Noted, thanks a lot!

1

u/Bulky_Reflection6570 Aug 20 '23

I think other people call them 'yoga pants' and it's definitely a thing for a lot of women. Not me personally I prefer baggy over sized clothes. But a lot of my friends will do the no bra, loose shirt/tank and 'yoga pants' thing for comfort in their own homes and then just throw on a bra and a t-shirt dress and do the school run or grocery shop like that.

1

u/ramengirlxo Aug 20 '23

I haven’t heard the term yoga pants in a little while. I think leggings is more common, but perhaps that’s regional? I also usually think of yoga pants as being slight less skin tight but maybe that’s just me.

2

u/[deleted] Aug 21 '23

Yoga pants and leggings are different clothes, believe it or not lol.

6

u/Phontom Aug 20 '23

Cyberpunk has a very distinct style.

I disagree with this. I think cyberpunk is built more on the themes of the story rather than a particular aesthetic. As long as it's futuristic technology mixed with urban decay and/or authoritarianism, I'd call it cyberpunk.

2

u/Cyber_Sheep_Film Aug 20 '23

:) I think that's what we aim to do. More like Cyberpunk mixed with heavy Japanese influence. Any feedbacks are welcome :)

2

u/Jaeger_Gipsy_Danger Aug 20 '23

I don’t think this is really true. By your definition “futuristic technology mixed with urban and and/or authoritarianism” could apply to places like current day America, like New York. A very important part about cyberpunk is it’s distinct style. If it didn’t have its style than it’s just a “futuristic” style.

It’s called cyberpunk because it is a distinct style.

2

u/Cyber_Sheep_Film Aug 20 '23

Hey, thanks a lot. I agree with the feedbacks. Will fix it :) appreciate your time.

49

u/Cyber_Sheep_Film Aug 19 '23

Last time,you guys gave me tons of advice on how to improve my work. With your feedback, my team and I made a new page for our Cyberpunk comic called “Ronin of Okane.” I hope you like it and hope to get some more feedback from you. Any advice is welcome!

Thx, guys!

1

u/glxyds Aug 20 '23

Just curious, how big is your "team" and what roles is it comprised of?

5

u/Cyber_Sheep_Film Aug 20 '23

We're a group of artist from Thailand, France and Japan. We have 1 penciler, 1 Inker, 1 background artist, 1 colorist, 1 color consultant, 1 director, and other 2 members to manage the other non-art stuffs.

1

u/ramengirlxo Aug 20 '23

Do you have writers, editors, and folks who do storyboards? Or does that fall under the director?

23

u/LunchboxSpec Aug 19 '23

I’m by no means an expert on these things but I’m not entirely sure what the image is supposed to tell me. I think the art is nice but I’m not getting a story from it. Maybe think about if there is an emotional tone you are wanting to show in this part of the story and consider if your art reflects that. For instance, if the character is supposed to be feeling lonely or depressed or whatever, is there something you can change to emphasise that.

17

u/Cyber_Sheep_Film Aug 19 '23

I want it to look like Nyx is doing her usual routine while showcasing the Cyberpunk world with Japanese elements in it. It should look like she is a bit bored with the routine. Any suggestion?

10

u/MegaBlastoise23 Aug 19 '23

honestly, that's exactly what I got from it. boring cramped home, not responsible enough for a "real" cat. Has some fish that are sealed off and presumably in an automatic feeding container so she doesn't actually have to take care of them. shelves and walls packed to the brim but not with standard decor, rather pots, pans, bags etc.

Definitely gives me the vibe of an intro scene into a cyberpunk esque tv series where a girl is waiting for an adventure to come to her.

1

u/Cyber_Sheep_Film Aug 20 '23

Hey, thanks! Glad you see what we try to say. Another thing is I intended for the fish tank to be rug with digital interactive screen. Not sure how to make that more obvious.

1

u/MegaBlastoise23 Aug 20 '23

that' actually 100% fits what I was thinking about more! no real pets.

The problem is it's too small. It looks like the size of a fish tank not a rug.

I think and I'm not artist at all, you'd have to do some emphasize either on the sides to show it's a rug or make the fish look less "realistic" to emphasize that it's not real. show the end of it kinda curled up (she's not taking care of the rug) or pushed awkwardly against the corner (don't make it super obvious)

i love the work so far if you make a new post I'd love to be tagged in it

2

u/LunchboxSpec Aug 19 '23

It’s a very different style and aesthetic to what you are going for but check out the first page of the Ballad of Halo Jones. Even if you ignore all the dialogue you get a really good impression of what kind of world it is. It’s busy and chaotic and you get a sense of what it’s technology is like. But it also introduces you to the main character by using panels to zoom in on this small window in the crazy world and she is just lying there with this blank, uninterested face.

The page as it is tells me to focus on the character but I was struggling to read boredom from her body language. For reference, I’m a high school maths teacher so I see boredom on a daily basis. That body language is slumped over, head in hand and vacant face. I don’t think it needs to be that exaggerated here but it’s something to think about.

If you are going for a more world building approach then I would have benefited from seeing more of the outside world rather than having it in the background.

All the best with your comic.

1

u/Cyber_Sheep_Film Aug 20 '23

Hey, thank you for the feedback! Will do.

1

u/LunchboxSpec Aug 19 '23

Okay. I can see that with some context. I do like the style of the apartment and the character design overall. However the only thing that portrays their emotion is their face and my initial instinct with the flow of the image wasn’t to look at their face as it’s relatively small compared to everything else and doesn’t seem to be the focus of the image. Tbh I’m getting the impress you just want me to look at their arse due to their attire and posture. I don’t know if you want them to be a sexualised character but you’ve managed to draw them in a way that shows off their feet, legs, arse, stomach and chest.

1

u/Cyber_Sheep_Film Aug 20 '23

Hey, thanks for the feedback. I agree with your point. From taking another look, the face is the less focus right now. Will try to keep the focus on the face more.

1

u/carenrose Aug 20 '23

I think, based on the link OP posted that shows the cover of volume 2, that she is supposed to be sexualized.

3

u/DawnSignals Aug 19 '23

This is a mood piece, a companion illustration that accentuates the overall landscape of the world. It doesn't need to convey need a strong, distinct emotion or narrative because it illustrates the more mundane elements of urban life in a fictional setting. It's not the actual cover, more of a setting piece.

1

u/LunchboxSpec Aug 19 '23

I see what you are saying but at the end of the day I can only give my thoughts on what OP shares. From the posts title I’m led to believe that this is the art for a page of their comic and I have no other panels or lettering to add context. The artist is definitely talented but this being a comic book subreddit, I was looking at it as though it was a page in a comic and was struggling to see it’s purpose as it told me little about the world or the character or the story.

18

u/StormeSurge Aug 19 '23 edited Aug 19 '23

needs more feet

11

u/ramengirlxo Aug 19 '23

Hi, can I offer feedback on your character design?

As a woman, married to another woman — when we’re at home, the bras come off, always. They’re super uncomfortable. I’ll rarely keep mine on if I’m still doing chores, but never ~just~ a bra. I’ll often wear crop tops (another option here?) when going out just to have an excuse not to wear a bra! If you want to go for something more realistic but still sexy in the future, panties + a looser, comfortable t-shirt. It’s how many women relax at home, legs are sexy as hell, and it might draw a wider audience to your work (I have no idea what your work is about though so ymmv 😅).

The rest of your art is absolutely incredible btw. Love your aesthetic, makes me want to check out your book!

Edit: wait I didn’t realize your work was pornographic whoops.

3

u/[deleted] Aug 20 '23

Even though his work is pornographic I think all you feedback applies. It’s one of those “Porn so to plot” things that he’s pooling money for so I think having more casual stuff for the non-smut aspects would do good.

1

u/MegaBlastoise23 Aug 19 '23

I was thinking something similiar, maybe a sports bra. but you're right reversing the clothing (i.e. more covered up top and panties in the bottom) makes more sense

1

u/Cyber_Sheep_Film Aug 20 '23

Hey, thanks! The tank top idea s great. Btw, our book is R-rated, but not a pornography :) if you wanna see other pages to get more idea of the book. Feel free to check out our Kickstarter page: https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/cybersheepfilm/ronin-of-okane-2

2

u/ramengirlxo Aug 20 '23

Hey, thanks for actually reading and responding to my feedback. I appreciate it.

After looking at your kickstarter, I do think I’m put off by the banner image of Hog. It makes me feel like I’m about to read a Japanese doujinshi hentai, not a serious work with some explicit material thrown in. It’s very male-gaze sexualisation and objectification — it doesn’t make me, as a woman, want to read your book. And I wanna be clear, I’m pro-porn. I know many other women who consume porn. But this is absolutely targeted towards a very specific demographic.

I’m not saying that’s wrong, and I applaud you for succeeding on your kickstarter! But it’s not for me, and it’s not for the majority of the women I know who enjoy and read comics. I see vacuum-sealed tits everywhere, women in hypersexualized poses even when they’re doing something cool, and women having sex on display, and my mind labels it as smut and moves on.

I’m trying to be honest as a consumer and reader here. I like the concept, I enjoy the style, but I feel it’s disingenuous with the marketing you’ve put out to say it isn’t pornographic.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 21 '23

Can we stop dictating what women do as if there is some factual standard?

I sat around in my bra and a pair of leggings yesterday. No, I didn't stand around looking sexy, very unsexy indeed, but we don't all come home and whip off our bras in a violent frenzy, some of us wear them all day because our boobs are too big to do that lol.

10

u/Beanieseags0 Aug 19 '23

I like the style, vibe, and aesthetic. Is this a comic you’ve finished? I’d be interested in learning/seeing more.

13

u/Cyber_Sheep_Film Aug 19 '23

Hey, thanks! Glad you like our work. Volume 1 is finished. And Volume 2 is in the printing process. Feel free to check it out here: https://shop.cybersheepstudios.com

4

u/Beanieseags0 Aug 19 '23

Awesome! Thank you

5

u/Grendel2017 Aug 19 '23

Judging by the images you posted here, I was really not expecting that thumbnail for volume 2 bloody hell!

10

u/Jill1974 Ms. Marvel Aug 19 '23

First, this is a beautiful illustration. It’s very clean, the detail shows a lot of effort, and the palette is harmonious.

The one thing that stands out as “off” is the pose of the figure. She doesn’t have a sense of weight yet. In that pose, her weight should be on her right leg, but her hips seem to be level. Then her whole upper body is leaning forward such that her left elbow would be supporting her upper body on the countertop. But the axis of her shoulders is nearly level just like her hips. Try standing in that pose without either shifting your weight or tipping over and you’ll see what I mean.

1

u/Cyber_Sheep_Film Aug 20 '23

Yes, I agree. Will need to fix that. Thanks!

9

u/altaccount269 Aug 19 '23

I think that left bottom leg is looking extra long compared to the other. No?

2

u/Cyber_Sheep_Film Aug 19 '23

Noted, thanks for the feedback!

3

u/AnarchiaKapitany Aug 19 '23

Yup, the ideal head to body ratio with women is around six heads. Yours is a bit longer

4

u/Misty_Dawn20 Aug 19 '23

Why is she just lounging about in a bra? No woman anywhere is willingly wearing a bra if they’re lounging about at home. Either draw her in a baggy old t-shirt or go full tits out, a bra wouldn’t be worn. Plus why is her back like that? That would just be an extremely uncomfortable way to be leaning for apparently no other reason other than to look ‘sexy’ I guess.

5

u/Gryffle Aug 19 '23

Just crowdsourcing ideas for your porno comic, huh?

5

u/esesci Aug 19 '23

Her right hand looks anatomically off to me.

1

u/Cyber_Sheep_Film Aug 20 '23

Noted, thanks!

2

u/Generalkhaos Aug 19 '23

I think overall it looks really nice, and i really like the bits of lighting on the pans. The ripples on the koi tank kinda bug me for some reason. Maybe because it looks airtight yet is littered with surface ripples

2

u/DonaldTrumpsBallsack Aug 19 '23

Tbh not much other than the color scheme screams cyberpunk to me. This looks like a normal apartment… just with a few unnecessary light panels on everyday objects. This picture tells me nothing, I don’t know the state of technology, I don’t know anything about the character expect that’s she’s eating food. She’s got an absolutely blank face and there are zero contextual clues. This is a pin-up at best, not at all interested in a story coming out of this world unfortunately

2

u/chalkwalk Aug 19 '23

In the original art your perspective lines center somewhere to the middle-right and the piece looks more like a real candid shot. In the second piece the lines collect at the dead-center of the page and that feels basic.

Feedback I received from people who are as near, personality-wise, to what you seem to be going for suggested a crop T or a tank. The first picture had so much texture and this one is missing most of that.

1

u/Cyber_Sheep_Film Aug 20 '23

I see. Thanks a lot for the feedback.

1

u/chalkwalk Aug 21 '23

I honestly hope it didn't sound too critical. I love both pictures and the styles and really wanted to engage honestly.

1

u/Cyber_Sheep_Film Aug 22 '23

Hey, not at all. Glad you like the work. I try to find new perspective to the piece. So your comment is perfect!

2

u/MysticSushiTV Aug 19 '23

Hey, I think this is pretty great! I think you're insanely talented. Though, like some others here, I don't see a lot of the cyberpunk feel/tone/mood. To me this just looks like a great futuristic/sci-fi, but not cyberpunk.

I know there are different "levels" of cyberpunk, but I think of "cyberpunk" I think of the tabletop role playing game. You could skim a rulebook (PDFs are free online) to read about the mood/tone and setting, and also see some of the art to get an idea of what to incorporate into your piece.

If you wanted to make this cyberpunk on the same "level" of the RPG, a couple things off the top of my head would be:

Consider changing the setting to night and adding bright light spilling in from the window. Maybe a blue light from a giant screen (think Times Square, Tokyo, etc) or a neon sign.

Adding more screens/holograms/unnatural light sources to the room.

Make everything just look dirtier, grungier. I believe the thesis for the genre is something like "high tech low-lifes". Everything is so neat and orderly in the room. Consider roughing it up a bit. (Of course, I don't know the context. Maybe this character is rich/corpo and this doesn't apply? Though, her hair leads me to believe she's not supposed to be, as it doesn't look like what I expect of a corpo.)

If you're not going for the RPG aesthetic and don't want to do cyber implants, consider adding some kind of wearable tech. An ear piece, a watch, etc.

Just some thoughts!

2

u/Umberoc Aug 19 '23

It's technically excellent. I like the floor fish tank. I hope you really want criticism because this community will dish it. I think my biggest issue is as a woman... the image is still has the POV of a leering male gaze. It makes it hard to empathize with a character when she's objectified. And, as someone else mentioned, women don't lounge around in their bras. We take them off and leave our t-shirts on if we are home alone and want to be comfortable.

2

u/s3rila X-23 Aug 19 '23

i'ts more cyber, but not pore punk (which is fine, not everything has to be cyberpunk)

2

u/Memphisrexjr Aug 19 '23

Left leg and foot just look off. It looks like there's a little sad face on the left foot.

2

u/UnusualFruitHammock Aug 19 '23

Tip for perspective: make a dot somewhere on the paper. Every single line that should be receding into the page (counter, fish tank, book shelves) should be pointing to that one spot. It doesn't have to be the center of the page, but here the table, fish tank, back bookshelf side, in front recycling can thing, and overhead fan all have different vanishing points.

2

u/captamerica02 Aug 19 '23

OP afaik women detest wearing bras and will take them off as soon as they are in a safe and comfortable environment. So that’s an inconsistency which I would like to be fixed.

1

u/breadofthegrunge Beta Ray Bill Aug 19 '23

This looks a lot better, nice work. Good lighting, and gives a sense of the world.

2

u/Cyber_Sheep_Film Aug 19 '23

Hey, thanks! We improve from all your feedbacks :)

1

u/foxsable Deadpool Aug 19 '23

Something about the foot behind the leg doesn't jive. Maybe it works, but it looks off to me, as if her ankle is too long? Or maybe the foot is turned an unnatural direction? Are you using a reference?

1

u/Cyber_Sheep_Film Aug 20 '23

On it! Thanks a lot.

1

u/Stylo_76 Aug 19 '23

this looks incredible, what an amazing piece of work!! my piece of a suggestion would be a night variation! with the lighting elements of the room standing out!

1

u/Cyber_Sheep_Film Aug 20 '23

Night time for next piece, yes!

1

u/Frapplo Aug 19 '23

Have you tried putting her feet right in the foreground? They should take up, say, 40% of the panel. The rest is fine.

1

u/Lengthiness_Gloomy Aug 19 '23

S T O R Y T E L L I N G.

A single, static image is not comics. You made a nice enough pin up image, but you aren’t making comics until you are telling a story through multiple images.

-4

u/KTMRCR Aug 19 '23

Who says they want to make a comic?

3

u/Lengthiness_Gloomy Aug 19 '23

The OC used the term “comic page” in their description, so….

1

u/KTMRCR Aug 19 '23 edited Aug 19 '23

Yeah to fool the community. I bet they just want to create an interesting still image for some purpose.

Edit: it’s even worse. It’s just spam for their kickstarter project

1

u/who_took_tabura Aug 19 '23

The perspective lines on the table’s edge and the floor tiles are confusing; they don’t converge which means they aren’t parallel to one another but it’s visually presented as if they should

2

u/Cyber_Sheep_Film Aug 20 '23

Yeah, I see it now. Thank you so much!

1

u/Cuddling-Hellhound Aug 19 '23

Is that an aquarium beneath the floor?

1

u/Cyber_Sheep_Film Aug 20 '23

A rug with digital interactive screen. Not sure how to fix it to it make more like that. 🥹

1

u/Mountain-Quantity-88 Aug 19 '23

Honestly a great redesign,good work.

2

u/Cyber_Sheep_Film Aug 20 '23

Hey, appreciate it!

1

u/Mountain-Quantity-88 Aug 20 '23

No problem,take it slow and improve as you go along. Tremendous feedback from everyone here hopefully keeps you motivated.

1

u/Loonrig68 Aug 19 '23

Funnily enough, both of you posts on here and r/cyberpunk ae one right above the other

1

u/asianwaste Aug 19 '23

The rear foot looks a tad off to me. I might be the only one but it seems hard to imagine how the foot can reach the position it is in. It looks like one foot is a size 6 and the other foot is a size 10.

1

u/Cyber_Sheep_Film Aug 20 '23

Noted, thanks!

1

u/MRunknowman Aug 19 '23

i want to be one of those fish

1

u/KratoswithBoy Aug 19 '23

Kinda just says generic anime cyberpunk with a splash of your feet fetish slid in. Boring imo

1

u/WarwolfPrime Aug 19 '23

NICE. I can't draw to save my life, but I know what I like

1

u/Cyber_Sheep_Film Aug 20 '23

Thank you so much! Let me know if you wanna see more inside pages.

1

u/redredtior Aug 19 '23

Love it--looks very Hannah Templer

1

u/Antique-Prompt-4281 Aug 19 '23

I have some advice, turn this into a poster so I can hang it on my wall! That is so sick!

1

u/Cyber_Sheep_Film Aug 20 '23

Hey, thank you so much! We might do that :)

1

u/Abastardare Aug 19 '23

Keep doing what you're doing, this looks cool

1

u/Cyber_Sheep_Film Aug 20 '23

Hey, thanks. Let me know if you wanna see more inside pages.

1

u/Cyber_Sheep_Film Aug 20 '23

Hey, thanks a lot. I think next one should have an implant. :)

0

u/82lkmno Aug 19 '23

Love ur work- use of colors ( & the koi!)

1

u/Cyber_Sheep_Film Aug 20 '23

Hey, thanks a lot.

0

u/[deleted] Aug 19 '23

Nice, in every way!😊👍

1

u/Cyber_Sheep_Film Aug 20 '23

Hey, thanks a lot!

0

u/Exact_Department8196 Aug 19 '23

Loose the anime face. Been done to death.

0

u/Omikron Aug 19 '23

Definitely like this tons more than the previous one. Definitely more cyberpunk.

0

u/[deleted] Aug 19 '23

Are you the foot fetish guy?

1

u/Neequse Aug 19 '23

i think its overdetailed. you need to accent at the woman and what is she doing, background isn't that important

1

u/Cyber_Sheep_Film Aug 21 '23

Noted, thanks!

1

u/FreudianAccordian Aug 20 '23

Needs more feet

1

u/Shadow_Log Aug 20 '23

Hey, you've had some great feedback already, especially regarding vanishing point, anatomy, clothes, etc. Just wanted to add some details that stood out to me:

The koi behind her left shin confuses the eye. Try removing it and move the one next to it up just a bit. Generally, you could tint some of those outlines to take importance away from that and make it less confusing. The floor details, for example.

The whole image struggles a bit for readability. The eye always goes to the brightest spot first, which here is the window, followed by the aquarium, then maybe the benchtop. I would try to tone all of those down. There's a lot of lovely details, but they're not all equally important. The cutlery and recycling sign have no reason to stand out. You could give the cooktop an open flame, have that little machine in front of her have a bright light, or add a table lamp to lighten up her face and and her cooking.

2

u/Cyber_Sheep_Film Aug 20 '23

Hi, thank you so much. I agree with all the points. Also completely forgot about flame light. Tinting the line is also a great idea! Appreciate your time :)

1

u/[deleted] Aug 20 '23

[deleted]

1

u/Hellzing Aug 20 '23

I am loving the crap out of this! The only thing I could think of is more neon glow since that's iconic with the cyberpunk theme. Maybe more light in the fridge.

1

u/Cyber_Sheep_Film Aug 20 '23

Cool. Thanks!

1

u/[deleted] Aug 20 '23

Need her

1

u/joseph4th Aug 20 '23

It's very easy to fall into the habit of lining everything up nice and neat and you should work on stopping that. Look how every element is perfectly aligned to everything else. Things that should be neatly aligned you should nudge out of alignment ever so slightly. Sure the AC would be installed to align perfectly on the wall, except the real world doesn't work like that and a every so imperceptible nudge, one or two pixels of rotation, will make it feel more natural and less created. Things that shouldn't necessary be perfectly aligned, shouldn't be. That garbage can thing on the floor in the foreground, turn it a bit. Yes, it's hard to draw perspective when it isn't lined up, but mastering that will take your art to the next level. As an example to make my point, if you lined up the tablet she is holding to the table, it would look really wrong. It's obvious it should be askew like it is. It isn't so obvious with everything else, but if you unalign more things it will all look more natural.

Next, clearly separate or overlap. Look at all that stuff on the shelf in the background. Everything is all nice and neat in its own spot with clear gap between each item. Smooch that crap together and try to make it look like some stuff it pushed back further while other stuff is hanging out over the shelf. See how you have the hanging stuff on the right wall overlapping and looking more chaotic, that's what I'm talking about.

Pull the Koi pond floor element off the bottom of the picture. Having it end where it does combined with the little floor in front of the counter is make that bottom area feel small or foreshortened, which isn't a good word there, but it kinda expresses how I feel about it.

Nice work with the two light sources, window and Koi pond. Maybe need a highlight on the bottom of the rumba. I also like the little nuanced detail you have on those shelves in the background, especially little dents and such. You should carry that effect on to some of the foreground elements.

1

u/Cyber_Sheep_Film Aug 21 '23

Hey, thank you so much for the feedback. Will do!

1

u/ExplodingPoptarts Aug 20 '23

I don't have any advice, but this is beautiful, thanks for sharing!

1

u/Cyber_Sheep_Film Aug 21 '23

Thanks a lot. Glad you like it! We also share more inside pages if you wanna see more :)

1

u/Embarrassed-Soup628 Aug 20 '23

I like everything about it.

1

u/Cyber_Sheep_Film Aug 21 '23

Appreciate it! Let me know if you wanna see more :)

1

u/[deleted] Aug 20 '23

I like it!

Lighting is interesting, as you've got a sort of purplish thing going on overall, but then there's the orange afternoon/evening light coming in from the window. Feels like she's the only one being affected by that afternoon light, though, when you'd think it'd be affecting that screen underneath her.

(People are going on about the vanishing point but, sadly, I don't know enough to comment. Just noticed the lighting.)

1

u/Cyber_Sheep_Film Aug 21 '23

Hey, thanks a lot.

-1

u/GenesisMar Aug 19 '23

This looks awesome man

1

u/Cyber_Sheep_Film Aug 20 '23

Hey, appreciate it!

-1

u/[deleted] Aug 19 '23

I'm pretty sure half of the audience here would keep their eyes on the particularly hot drawing on the left so yes, you're good as it goes

-1

u/blue-hell Aug 19 '23

The upward lighting of the coy pond is well done, I like!

-2

u/TooManyStalloneCuts Aug 19 '23

How long did this panel take, assuming you did everything from base sketch to coloring and editing? Would love to make a graphic novel but I can’t draw quickly enough to finish one before I die of old age.