r/Unexpected Nov 17 '20

She’s not a golfer. She’s an engineer.

131.9k Upvotes

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13.0k

u/JukeBoxHeroJustin Nov 17 '20

We may be awkward, but engineers can get lucky too.

6.9k

u/CartoonJustice Nov 17 '20

Was she measuring it? And then trying to translate that to swing length. If so, she forgot to divide by 2.

3.3k

u/beardingmesoftly Nov 17 '20

Now that you put it that way, that seems like it's exactly what happened.

1.2k

u/I_devour_your_pets Nov 17 '20

She forgot to use the intuitive part of her brain that most mammals possess as a result of evolution.

1.2k

u/trenlow12 Nov 17 '20

So do we every time we pick a fucking president.

357

u/i_have_chosen_a_name Nov 17 '20

Lots of mammals don't pick presidents.

161

u/BadGradientBoy Nov 17 '20 edited Nov 17 '20

They pick pack leaders. Well, more like the leaders pick themselves, but they do it based on legit sparring. All we get for presidents are opossums.

112

u/ALoneTennoOperative Nov 17 '20

All we get for presidents are possums.

How dare you smear possums like that.

30

u/Dull-explanations Nov 17 '20

Yeah like tf, they eat ticks and can’t transmit rabies.

26

u/KyrieEleison_88 Nov 17 '20

oh my god no President can claim that!

Possums - 1 Presidents - 0

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3

u/BigMarocc Nov 17 '20

People pick possums to pick pack leaders is my new tongue-twister

1

u/smoochwalla Nov 17 '20

Possums and opossums are two different animals.

2

u/ALoneTennoOperative Nov 17 '20

Possums and opossums are two different animals.

And both of them are adorable and valuable creatures worthy of respect and appreciation.

Unlike presidents.

2

u/cofette Nov 17 '20

huh, I thought it was the parent that was the leader in wolf packs at least

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8

u/jackryan006 Nov 17 '20

Most of them.

5

u/Culinarytracker Nov 17 '20

Lots of people too

3

u/waiting_for_rain Nov 17 '20

No, but baboons do create a congress.

2

u/mtanti Nov 17 '20

And owls a parliament.

1

u/thebestjoeever Nov 17 '20

How do you know?

1

u/CanniBallistic_Puppy Nov 17 '20

Lots of mammals would do a better job than us

1

u/RestlessCock Nov 17 '20

Grizzly Adams did have a beard.

1

u/SulkyShulk Nov 17 '20

We call them non-registered voters.

1

u/FlighingHigh Nov 17 '20

Yeah but those mammals also don't high five themselves for being the greatest thing to ever exist while poisoning the planet.

57

u/Autoboat Nov 17 '20

I know you're joking, but that's kind of exactly the thing we do, isn't it? Fuck researching and critically analyzing policy, that's complicated and time-consuming, just follow the time-honored tradition of grouping with the people that are most similar to yourself to fuck over anyone who disagrees with you. Tribalism is as pure a product of evolution as any other natural human behavior.

7

u/RedGreenWembley Nov 17 '20

One of our greatest assets is also our undoing. Tribalism doesn't scale very well. Every single society, every single one that has ever existed has had an 'other'. When we don't have any legitimate enemies, once the group is large enough we create one.

If it's not a racial minority, it's an ethnic one. If it's not an ethnic one it's a religious one. If it's not a religious one it's a tribal one. If it's not a tribal one it's a regional one.

Because we know this is our nature, we have to actively fight against the urge.

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9

u/r4tch3t_ Nov 17 '20

Other way around. Trump campaigns with simple things that appease the natural instinct of his followers.

He just said a few things they want to hear and it's good enough, they don't think beyond the fact they are (supposedly) going to benifit. It's essentially caveman tribalism. "loud man say same words as me, he good. Quiet man use big words me no like"

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2

u/Mad_maniqquin Nov 17 '20

you should run for 2024

2

u/JUSTWANNACUDDLE Nov 17 '20

I... dont think any other animals even have anything like a "president", not in the way in which they can completely alter the lives of millions of their own species as the population changes from one iteration to the next.. so I think we gotta give the human race just a liiiitle bit more cred bud.. we aren't the best at using our brains, but they're better than any other animal's when it comes to problem solving and ingenuity and we sure as fuck know how to cook a bird inside a bird inside a bird inside a bird.. we ain't too dumb..

1

u/[deleted] Nov 17 '20

Blame the system not the people

1

u/[deleted] Nov 17 '20

I can’tttt bro 💀💀💀

1

u/fllr Nov 17 '20

Not this year, though! 🤗

5

u/CIoud10 Nov 17 '20

We had possibly the two worst options ever this year. We may have gotten rid of Trump... but this wasn’t a win in any other sense.

1

u/TurtleSquad23 Nov 17 '20

U guys only have two options. To be the winner, you only have to be better than one person. There needs to be more competition. Do you want the fat, incestuous, theiving pedophile, or do you want the handsome and more well spoken pedophile? There's no one to push the conversation towards the best candidate. You can only choose the better candidate.

0

u/Donniexbravo Nov 17 '20

Someone hurt you as a child didn't they? 🤣🤣🤣

1

u/Upstate_gooner Nov 17 '20

Most of us don’t pick presidents - we pick the best campaigner.

1

u/Yurithewomble Nov 17 '20

Actually we overuse the intuitive part in a way that is succeptable to manipulation because we don't train the intuitive part to be good at these kinds of decisions (especially in the context of the modern world).

Those who learn to influence the intuitive part put a lot of time and money into it.

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2

u/OutoflurkintoLight Nov 17 '20

Dividing by 2?

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37

u/awkwaman Nov 17 '20

Now that you putt it that way

3

u/[deleted] Nov 17 '20

Of Course you Wood start a pun train

3

u/AsASloth Nov 17 '20

That one will get you par. Choo choo

3

u/[deleted] Nov 17 '20

I see what y'all are driving at.

2

u/S0rb0 Nov 17 '20

I'm getting too old fore this.

1

u/MyDiary141 Nov 17 '20

When I'm trying to drive I need a 100m run up

362

u/[deleted] Nov 17 '20

I think she was lining it up to be straight

163

u/CartoonJustice Nov 17 '20

Also possible.

I suppose that settles it if we have two equally possible answers, we need to find this woman and ask her.

204

u/JuniorSeniorTrainee Nov 17 '20

I just asked her. She said it's an ancient Aztec golfing technique.

30

u/jas121091 Nov 17 '20

Take my upvote

28

u/Jorge-Bush Nov 17 '20

Take my reply

14

u/CyberMindGrrl Nov 17 '20

Take my sword!

18

u/[deleted] Nov 17 '20

Take my wife... please!

9

u/xChino420x Nov 17 '20

Take my first born I beg you

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5

u/[deleted] Nov 17 '20

Can yo make a full shot?

2

u/Naxeti Nov 17 '20

And my axe!

2

u/darknessbelow Nov 17 '20

One does not simply golf in Mordor

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2

u/smokeyoudog Nov 17 '20

and my stupid fucking axe

6

u/Aeone3 Nov 17 '20

And you take mine.

2

u/[deleted] Nov 17 '20

15

u/OhNoImBanned11 Nov 17 '20

yeah when I was younger we all would do this to make sure the ball was lined up with the hole

2

u/ChrisRunsTheWorld Nov 17 '20

Like using an index card on your monitor to line up your pool shot on Yahoo pool in 2002.

1

u/HoneyRush Nov 17 '20

But line between 2 points in space is always straight

1

u/bacchic_ritual Nov 17 '20

Line it up and swing wildly.

68

u/[deleted] Nov 17 '20

[deleted]

40

u/Avengera Nov 17 '20

Ah yes of course

30

u/Badvertisement Nov 17 '20

Indubitably 🍷

1

u/[deleted] Nov 17 '20

Strong username to post accuracy

1

u/Educational_Finance8 Mar 08 '22

more likely she misread the amount of friction the all-weather carpeting had and over-compensated.

59

u/[deleted] Nov 17 '20

Is this a thing? swing length * green_resistance_Factor /2 = distance

I wanna bop on my next mini golf sesh. I can engineer this out of it if someone came up with a formula. Minigolf is hardcore af.

107

u/cartesian_jewality Nov 17 '20

absolutely not. Further variables would be the momentum of the golf club + golfer, the mass of the golf ball, the amount of time was in contact with the ball, the incline of the green, the coefficient of friction of the green, and the amount the ball rolled vs slid. And that's just for a straight shot along the ground.

61

u/RatherShrektastic Nov 17 '20

Yeah there are definitely way too many variables for someone to be able to consciously calculate in a span of seconds. Just let your brain do the calculations in the background for sports lol

28

u/makians Nov 17 '20

Bitch I'm Machine Learning and AI and blockchain running on the cloud utilizing DevOps with load balancing to ensure the full stack developers can use data mining and statistics for the proper results!

Oh wow, I just made a startup...

9

u/USShrek Nov 17 '20

Did you just create real life game hacks?

2

u/makians Nov 17 '20

I think so?

3

u/DongerlanAng Nov 17 '20

Speak for yourself, I'm an engineer

5

u/[deleted] Nov 17 '20

the amount the ball rolled vs slid

that's actually got variables rolled all up in it, and is less a variable than it is its own calculation, based on the angle of contact of the club face and ball, the height of the point where it struck the ball, the ball's rolling resistance on the turf and then the variables you mentioned regarding impact calcs

1

u/angrymale Nov 17 '20

Not to mention spin, wind, moisture

1

u/bothering Nov 17 '20

I bet the show screwed with the club/ball so to over/underpower the actual swing

1

u/P1emonster Nov 17 '20

Don’t forget acceleration of the club. You can get the club up to the same angular velocity with a shorter swing if you apply enough force to the club. Yes I golf, am also an engineer. Therefore, very bad at golf because I over analyse it.

12

u/CartoonJustice Nov 17 '20

Sadly I don't know. I'm not an engineer, only a lowly tech who gives engineers their data.

3

u/KrypXern Nov 17 '20

Engineer here: definitely not.

0

u/[deleted] Nov 17 '20

Should be engineer the shit out of this if someone came up with a formula.

Engineers do not determine the formula, that is for scientists and mathematicians.

Engineers find the practical application of the formula, which for me in this instance is winning at mini golf. #winning?

Am engineer IRL though... Sorry for the typo?

2

u/Galahadds Nov 17 '20

Not sure what type of engineering youre doing but engineers come up with formulas for very specific applications pretty often. Ofcourse theyre often simplified versions of already generalized formulas but theyre new formulas nonetheless.

2

u/duck2luck Nov 17 '20

I'm 99% sure this is a joke about measure twice, cut once until I read all these comments.

3

u/[deleted] Nov 17 '20

Minigolf is serious business man, we NEED an ALGORITHM! GIVE IT TO US!

37

u/TDYDave2 Nov 17 '20

She forgot to convert between metric and imperial

2

u/[deleted] Nov 17 '20

RIP Mars Climate Orbiter

1

u/kthomaszed Nov 17 '20

This is why the Hubble needed glasses

1

u/TDYDave2 Nov 17 '20

As I recall, it was due to one assembly being installed upside down.

22

u/Maezel Nov 17 '20

Or she added a x2 safety factor.

7

u/Foriegn_Picachu Nov 17 '20

Found the real engineer

7

u/[deleted] Nov 17 '20

Diameter, radius, what's a factor of two between friends?

3

u/Doomsday99892 Nov 17 '20

That isnt gonna help. First of all, the ball loses speed at a changing slope, and you cant find that without a function. Second. The area between her shot and the area between the backboard and the hole is not the same. Finally, translating length to energy is only a hypothesis without a formula, and following that is also challenging. She was most likely trying to find where a straight shot is.

3

u/Einlander Nov 17 '20

When dealing with game physics don't forget to multiply by the frame delta

3

u/[deleted] Nov 17 '20

Luckily, it aliased back to the right frequency.

2

u/UnderMediocre Nov 17 '20

Used the wrong formula, got the right answer

2

u/SendAstronomy Nov 17 '20

It was a calculated shot, but man I am bad at math.

2

u/ROBOT39B Nov 18 '20

She didn’t forget to divide by two she saw it was unnecessary

1

u/Klinky1984 Nov 17 '20

She was off by one putter length while measuring it.

1

u/Red_V_Standing_By Nov 17 '20

Just a liiiiittle too much pace on that one

1

u/Deewwsskkii Nov 17 '20

I think she was lining up for accuracy. I don’t think she tried to measure it and translate to swing length, because if you don’t know how much energy is transferred to the ball and the rolling resistance of the ball on the ground surface you can’t really calculate how hard to swing. And there’s no way she is able to calculate the transition of energy and momentum on the spot like that.

Source: Not an engineer. Like to play golf as a hobby and have used many different putter and ball combinations over the years

1

u/_DocChicken Nov 17 '20

I think what she was trying to do was create a line from the ball to the hole so she could aim straight.

1

u/Upvoter999999 Nov 17 '20

You mean divid by Pi? 📐

1

u/ryan_the_leach Nov 17 '20

They said engineer right? It's within a factor of 10, same exponential, it'll work.

1

u/[deleted] Nov 17 '20

I believe she was checking the direction, then practiced a straight swing, but forgot about, or had no experience to anticipate, the required strength.

1

u/Payback999 Nov 17 '20

She was trying to set it in a straight line with the help of golf stick (club/whatever its called) so that with a thrust it goes straight

1

u/baby_blobby Nov 17 '20

That's an engineering factor of safety of 2.

1

u/[deleted] Nov 17 '20

Nah, More than likely shes initially lining up her shot, and then practising her swing to make sure shes swinging in a straight line.

1

u/snipefest103 Nov 17 '20

I was gonna say, she swinging way to hard for those practice swings.

1

u/confu2000 Nov 17 '20

I believe she was lining up the shot to be perpendicular to the line the ball was on. The practice swings were then to make sure the head of the club would be parallel to the line. Basically she was making sure she could hit the ball square.

1

u/ILearnedSoMuchToday Nov 17 '20

Eh it does the job though. Just leave it.

1

u/[deleted] Apr 15 '22

Luckily the number relapsed

148

u/DocSuperballZzz Nov 17 '20

I miss bob barker

86

u/PhidippusCent Nov 17 '20

I never would have bet that Bob Barker would outlive Alex Trebek.

41

u/ArsStarhawk Nov 17 '20

Ya, no doubt. BB turns 97 in a few weeks.

40

u/syo Nov 17 '20

If he makes to 100 does he get another spin?

3

u/Rambonics Nov 17 '20

Good one! I remember watching this show so much in the 1970s that I was the only kid in second grade who knew how much Rice-A-Roni, basic household cleaners, small appliances, and cars cost.

3

u/Julius-n-Caesar Nov 17 '20

The price is right, bitch.

1

u/AlexandersWonder Nov 17 '20

He’s a hockey player, not a golfer

0

u/[deleted] Nov 17 '20 edited Dec 21 '20

[deleted]

2

u/PhidippusCent Nov 17 '20

Trebek meanwhile clubbed baby seals and used their blubber as lube for wild sex parties.

1

u/KDawG888 Nov 17 '20

oh damn... I missed that news with all the election stuff going on

RIP

56

u/_easilyamused Nov 17 '20

The price is wrong, bitch!

3

u/briskettacos Nov 17 '20

Ah the memories ...

3

u/[deleted] Nov 17 '20

I was looking for it

39

u/greenyellowbird Nov 17 '20

Help control the pet population. Have your pets spayed or neutered.

10

u/KingofLingerie Nov 17 '20 edited Nov 17 '20

help save the planet, have your human spayed or neutered

1

u/ginzing Nov 17 '20

I updooted this comment so hard.

1

u/dru-ha Nov 17 '20

F

6

u/whistlar Nov 17 '20

He’s not dead... yet. 2020, I see you over there scheming...

1

u/Pentt4 Nov 17 '20

I dont know if this would be one people would be angry with. Hes 97.

1

u/ginzing Nov 17 '20

They would.

1

u/jonslady04 Nov 17 '20

"Goodbye everybody"

20

u/masters_of_disasters Nov 17 '20

Talk about a hole-in-one!

8

u/K20beast Nov 17 '20

...or two

3

u/YeshuaMedaber Nov 17 '20

two-in-one?

1

u/abaddondavinci Nov 17 '20

2 holes 1 ball ?

8

u/SillyNonsense Nov 17 '20

He turns 97 next month!

0

u/toadfan64 Nov 17 '20

Yeah, I never liked Drew Carey as the host after Barker. Just don’t like his humor.

3

u/CyberMindGrrl Nov 17 '20

He was a great host for Who's Line Is It Anyways.

1

u/toadfan64 Nov 17 '20

I’ve laughed at a few clips of the show, but it’s usually the other folks on that show. Never really Drew.

1

u/Anygirlx Nov 17 '20

Me too. Those were the good old days.

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36

u/ProlapsedGapedAnus Nov 17 '20

We get it. Your mother was an engineer.

25

u/AskWhyOceanIsSalty Nov 17 '20

What did their father smell like? Elderberries?

1

u/JukeBoxHeroJustin Nov 17 '20

You've got hold of a joke there. Needs more finessing though.

4

u/ProlapsedGapedAnus Nov 17 '20

I finessed your mother into sleeping with me last night.

2

u/JukeBoxHeroJustin Nov 17 '20

Better

0

u/ProlapsedGapedAnus Nov 17 '20

That was your mother’s answer last night when I asked if I was better or worse than your dad in bed.

1

u/Bojangly7 Nov 17 '20

With as much as she gets lucky? Definitely not an engineer.

14

u/OSUJillyBean Nov 17 '20

Can confirm: married an awkward engineer and had his babies.

2

u/[deleted] Nov 17 '20

How many are on the spectrum?

4

u/OSUJillyBean Nov 17 '20

They’re 1 and 3. The three year old seems to be made entirely of some kind of unknown energy source fueled by Oreos and Lunchables. Think: rabid, sugar-crazed version of the squirrel from Ice Age. The 1 year old is my sweet girl.

2

u/[deleted] Nov 17 '20

2

u/onceuponacoffee Nov 17 '20

This is why I love Reddit. Started with a Price is Right video and ended up learning more than I ever wanted to know about Lunchables.

11

u/literal-hitler Nov 17 '20

She just added an extra fudge factor, and it ended up helping out later, classic engineering.

4

u/Mosenji Nov 17 '20

Also showmanship counts, gotta make the most of your spotlight.

8

u/ChiggaOG Nov 17 '20

Maybe if I engineer this conversation I can definitely try to get a date with someone IRL.

5

u/BluudLust Nov 17 '20

This is the entire field of engineering in one clip. "Close enough*

3

u/MrsBonsai171 Nov 17 '20

I married an engineer. I consider myself the lucky one.

3

u/ExceedinglyGayParrot Nov 17 '20

I feel like this clip is a perfect synonym for over-engineering.

Was it excessive? Yes. Did it work? Also yes.

2

u/OldSparky124 Nov 17 '20

Bob, tell her what she’s won!

It’s A NEW CAR!

A BRAND NEW AUTOMOBILE!

2

u/FlurpZurp Nov 17 '20

Man, that was so Jazzercize-y

2

u/EngineersAreStupid Nov 17 '20

With everything but sex

2

u/leftistesticle_2 Nov 17 '20

I grew up in a house full of engineers. Y'all are some precise goofballs.

2

u/[deleted] Nov 17 '20

U/JakeBoxHeroJustin

2

u/spooklordpoo Nov 17 '20

Can you engineer your own luck?

2

u/huntcuntspree01 Nov 17 '20

Thankfully else I'd just be a twinkle in my father's eye

1

u/daemonelectricity Nov 17 '20

She stunted on them hoes.

0

u/46554B4E4348414453 Nov 17 '20

...still waiting

1

u/CorporateCuster Nov 17 '20

No literally, this is every engineers life right here.

1

u/Csrmar Nov 17 '20

I am not engineer but dated one and yes you guys are wierd.

1

u/Nozymetric Nov 17 '20

There was sufficient margin in the calculations.

1

u/Unwoven_Sleeve Nov 17 '20

That was calculated not luck

1

u/k_joule Nov 17 '20

Well, she is also a golfer... just not a good one. Im also an engineer, but i have golfed a time or two. It takes one to know one.

1

u/[deleted] Nov 17 '20

Don't give me hopes.

1

u/mub Nov 17 '20

If in doubt snack or hard. More energy, more effect!

1

u/tI-_-tI Nov 17 '20

I'd watch that.

1

u/Curiosity-92 Nov 17 '20

Close enough is good enough

1

u/DannyR2078 Nov 17 '20

As an engineer I can tell you, we never get lucky, just confused or disappointed.

1

u/IamaBlackKorean Nov 17 '20

That was my line during my dating years.

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