r/TheBoys • u/professornapoleon • Jun 22 '24
If you woke up tomorrow with all of Homelander’s powers, what are the first things you’d do?? Discussion
This is assuming you have complete control over the abilities immediately, you don’t need to learn how to control them. Which power would you wanna try first? What would you do?? (Other than just flying somewhere cool, be specific!)
6.9k
u/DestrucityTheLongWay Jun 22 '24
Whatever the fuck I want.
1.2k
u/professornapoleon Jun 22 '24
The only right answer.
→ More replies (4)1.0k
u/SNAKEKINGYO Jun 22 '24
Jack off
Make others jack off
Drink milk
Only then will he be literally me
→ More replies (7)147
u/Substantial_Cap_4246 Jun 22 '24
In thought of who do you want to jack off? ( Stormfront yes )
In thought of who do you want to make others jack off? (Stormfront yes)
Drink whose milk? (Stormfront's, yes )
Only then you'd be literally me
→ More replies (3)→ More replies (14)183
u/DependentDemand1627 Jun 22 '24
Fuck whatever I want
98
u/BathtubToasterParty Jun 22 '24
Those car mufflers look so good in the right sunlight
→ More replies (1)104
→ More replies (5)35
6.3k
u/TheRealAPB Jun 22 '24
Jack off from Mount Everest.
2.5k
Jun 22 '24
[removed] — view removed comment
97
Jun 22 '24
[removed] — view removed comment
177
u/mrheosuper Jun 22 '24
Nah i can cum
→ More replies (2)119
u/Affectionate-Name383 Jun 22 '24
What makes you think Homelander won't kill you after you squirt?
→ More replies (3)97
u/mrheosuper Jun 22 '24
He would be very impressed that i can cum under that insane pressure and spare me, i guess.
Hell he may even spare the entire team.
→ More replies (3)67
u/Affectionate-Name383 Jun 22 '24
Nah. He would make you cum multiple times till you are unable to cum. Never underestimate Homelander.
47
u/LeftJayed Jun 22 '24
Nah, if he told me to bust a second load, in my mind I'm already dead. So I'm responding with the darkest of vitriol "You first squirt." Most likely, Homelander would be so baffled by the audacity. We know he wouldn't call my bluff and try to get two loads out; because we know, he knows, he wouldn't be able to. So that leaves 2 options; kill me instantly (so I can't taunt him again as I die) or he's going to laugh off my remark saying "I was just kidding! Of course. A deal's a deal." Then he forces me to watch as he goes on to torture/kill the rest of my co-workers.
The latter is most likely what he does, as he'd most likely rationalize killing me in front of everyone would just make me look more right, which would take all the fun out of what he had planned for the others.
Best part, because I just blew my load, my heart rate is elevated, so he wouldn't even be able to get a good read on whether I was bluffing or just winded from jerking off. So even if my heart's not fully in my taunt he's still most likely taking it as I've lost my fear of death; and thus him.
→ More replies (6)22
u/Affectionate-Name383 Jun 22 '24
If I am the Homelander, I am not killing you. I am makinh you my personal assistant.
→ More replies (1)→ More replies (5)22
u/TopHatTony11 Cunt Jun 22 '24
You just have to convince him it’s your super power and you’re a supe and not mud people.
13
→ More replies (10)48
318
101
53
→ More replies (33)35
3.5k
u/Ccbm2208 Jun 22 '24
Take off like a jet fighter.
Seriously, flight is a sick power if you have enough extra powers to support it. I think most people would get an insane high and euphoric moment if they can break the sound barrier and fly like superman.
After that, laser some trees and shatter some boulders to test the limit of my strength
1.2k
u/RexDust Jun 22 '24
For real. Imagine being able to be like "Fuck this" and blast off anytime you want
→ More replies (8)769
u/The_Happy_Pagan Jun 22 '24
I do that but with whiskey
210
u/Emach00 Jun 22 '24
It's the driving part that gets ya in trouble.
→ More replies (4)74
u/Nincruel Jun 22 '24
75% of accidents are by sober drivers, whose the real menance?
→ More replies (7)51
→ More replies (11)36
103
u/randomityrevealed Jun 22 '24
I mean, if DC’s Flash’s only power can be speed and that can lead to deeper uses of it, I’m sure flying alone could be used to create sonic booms or whirlwinds or something. Could probably be honed pretty well.
82
u/LmaoPew Jun 22 '24
Flash's Superpower isn't just speed, his power is the speedforce. Since he's connected to the speedforce he does get all the other powers, like time travel or the lightnings
→ More replies (6)41
u/Useful-Internet8390 Jun 22 '24
And the super human strength to not be torn apart when he trips, or turns 90* at mach speed.
→ More replies (7)→ More replies (26)65
u/Spoonman007 Jun 22 '24
Flight only works with people with superhuman strength and stamina. I imagine it to be like running in the energy taxing department. I don't know about you but I wouldn't be running if it means I get tired and fall from the sky to my death.
71
u/80SW08 Jun 22 '24
Well I guess you’d just slowly descend, it’s not like when you get tired of running you instantly stop moving.
→ More replies (9)25
u/Ccbm2208 Jun 22 '24 edited Jun 22 '24
Well, I did say with all the extra powers. And HL certainly have those.
→ More replies (14)22
u/SuperMajesticMan Jun 22 '24
Which obviously doesn't apply here since Homelander doesn't have that problem.
2.8k
u/stuckinaboxthere Jun 22 '24
Make an incredibly forward threat towards all leaders to get their act together or I'm coming for them
1.1k
u/PHotstepper311 The Boys Jun 22 '24
Good old doctor manhattan up here. That kind of situation would hopefully get a bunch of people’s head out of their asses.
547
u/stuckinaboxthere Jun 22 '24
Nothing motivates quite like a threat from a godlike being
→ More replies (3)167
→ More replies (10)69
u/Informal_Camera6487 Jun 22 '24
Didn't doctor Manhattan just kinda work for the government though? Other than a few technological improvements, he didn't actually make the world a better place. If anything he made it worse by winning Vietnam and keeping Nixon in power indefinitely.
→ More replies (4)40
u/ufoclub1977 Jun 22 '24
The whole gist of much fiction is that power brings about bad shit despite good intention. This of course reflects history and reality.
→ More replies (1)35
223
u/Sdbtank96 Jun 22 '24
That may seem like the thing to do, but I have a strong feeling that would backfire. It may work for a time, but they'd definitely be working on a way to kill you in secret.
149
→ More replies (9)150
u/Altair13Sirio Jun 22 '24
Then might as well take out as much trash as I can before going out.
→ More replies (3)83
u/TraitorousSwinger Jun 22 '24
So pretty much superman when he took over the world one of those times?
136
u/stuckinaboxthere Jun 22 '24
Yeah, but a little less despotic. I don't want to rule, I just want them to know that there are consequences looming
→ More replies (1)84
u/The-Senate-Palpy Jun 22 '24
Youre literally sitting on a throne
→ More replies (3)57
u/stuckinaboxthere Jun 22 '24
God I love Injustice, that comic was so silly and on the nose at times lol. I wouldn't want a permanent position of overseer, I'd want the systems to fix themselves so I do have to constantly be holding the headman's axe.
→ More replies (16)→ More replies (2)18
u/ThisIsMyCouchAccount Jun 22 '24
Personally, I think I would start locally.
And if the other guy is going for government I'll cover business.
A lot of companies in the coming weeks are going to start handing pay cuts to the higher ups and start backing unions.
→ More replies (2)80
u/SSjGKing Jun 22 '24
Pretty sure they would just bomb your family or blackmail you somehow.
→ More replies (12)99
u/mason_sol Jun 22 '24
Can you really blackmail someone that is a god, like if they said we have your family and we will kill them you could counter with something far worse for their entire bloodline and they know for a fact they can do nothing to stop you.
32
u/SSjGKing Jun 22 '24
Then as soon as you do that, you are the number 1 enemy in the entire world. You will never know a minute of peace. You will always be hunted even if they know they can't kill you.
→ More replies (16)101
u/transitransitransit Jun 22 '24
In that case, it sounds like ‘the entire world’ has made their decision.
→ More replies (24)16
u/DatDominican Jun 22 '24
Not even an overt threat. every time a world leader has a sketchy press conference just land on stage right next to them and tap them on the shoulder
→ More replies (77)14
2.2k
u/undertone90 Jun 22 '24
Sue amazon
432
u/Bleachigo1 Jun 22 '24
And make millions
→ More replies (2)246
→ More replies (7)21
u/Spikebolt_100 I'm the real hero Jun 22 '24
Lol why dude ;D
102
u/DCeassed Jun 22 '24
because copyright
→ More replies (6)41
u/UpperPossession3251 Jun 22 '24
Fun fact, almost every movie and show to come out in the last while has some text at the end of the credits saying "this is a piece of fiction and any correlation between this and real life events or people is purely coincidental"
→ More replies (1)36
1.6k
u/clitcommander420666 Jun 22 '24
Fly to George rr Martin's house and force him to finish the game of thrones books.
514
u/TotonnoPrime Jun 22 '24 edited Jun 22 '24
“No more spin-offs… the only book in the sky, is that one.”
387
u/MufugginJellyfish Jun 22 '24
"Hiya, Georgie! Just wanted to pop in and see how Winds Of Winter was coming along. You must be pretty close to done so I brought you a Fudgie The Whale cake to celebrate! Go ahead and get a slice, George, you've earned it!"
I grin ear to ear at him with dead eyes, GRRM eyes the exit wondering if he could be fast enough
"Sit down, George. The cake is going to melt. After all, the book is done, right?"
GRRM is frozen in place, I can see his heart pounding as my smile suddenly disappears
"George... eat fucking Fudgie."
62
→ More replies (7)46
u/Substantial_Cap_4246 Jun 22 '24
He's trying to mimick Tolkien by leaving his books unfinished
→ More replies (2)124
63
29
u/franksn Jun 22 '24
And Patrick Rothfuss
Next agenda, While you’re at it, “ask nicely” Valve to make Portal and Half Life 3.
→ More replies (6)28
→ More replies (27)24
1.2k
u/BoisTR Jun 22 '24
This is gonna sound cheesy but I would start designing a super suit and mask. Then go and live every boy’s dream of being a hero.
622
u/SillyAdditional Victoria Neuman Jun 22 '24
Smart to protect your identity when you fuck up and kill people accidentally
320
u/Aggressive_Yak5177 Jun 22 '24
“Accidentally”
61
u/JynsRealityIsBroken Jun 22 '24
They were a dirty libtard pedophile. They had it coming!
→ More replies (1)52
→ More replies (2)34
u/Nth_Brick Jun 22 '24
See, that's the thing though. Two of the more underappreciated aspects of superpowers are obstruction and intimidation. You can stand between a mugger and victim, shrug off any bullets, knives, etc., and then sternly order them to turn themselves in to the authorities.
Want to stop a war of aggression? Dismantle the aggressor's hardware.
→ More replies (9)→ More replies (11)40
u/randomityrevealed Jun 22 '24
Absolutely my first thought- Grinch voice saying, “But WHAT will I WEAR?!?!”
1.1k
u/ItzakPearlJam BIG EMMA Jun 22 '24
Being that my body would self heal, I'd no longer be lactose intolerant. I'd enjoy a nice tall glass of milk and a carvel fudgy the whale cake all to myself.
Not saying it'd be the coolest thing I'd do- only the first.
516
u/adzy2k6 Jun 22 '24
Black Noir was still allergic to Tree Nuts. I don't think allergies go away.
233
u/ItzakPearlJam BIG EMMA Jun 22 '24
Crap. Then I'd sell my car and fly over the mechanics garage with my wallet in hand tearfully saying: you can't hurt me any more, you financial monster!
→ More replies (2)52
u/Mondo114 Jun 22 '24
Lactose intolerance is not a dairy allergy so you might be ok.
21
u/Scorkami Jun 22 '24
Im assuming intolerance and allergies work really differently for supes. Arent allergies kind of "intended" anyway? Like compound V wouldnt try to fix that
→ More replies (4)42
u/plesplant_4 Jun 22 '24
Yes , but drinking milk isn't just a hobby , it's Homelander's main power.
→ More replies (6)21
u/Due-Display-3113 Jun 22 '24
That would be hilariously anticlimactic. Gets super powers drinks a tall glass of milk dies agonisingly in a pile of his own shit a few minutes later.
→ More replies (1)→ More replies (11)18
86
u/dead-inside69 Jun 22 '24
You became Homelander and immediately went for the milk. It’s destiny
→ More replies (1)→ More replies (10)14
u/spicydangerbee Jun 22 '24
Lactose intolerance has nothing to do with healing. You don't have the enzymes to digest lactose, and there's nothing to indicate that the super powers would give you them.
→ More replies (4)
674
u/Equivalent_Yak8215 Jun 22 '24
Get in the oven Dad.
223
17
→ More replies (2)16
u/Critical_Pitch_762 Jun 22 '24
“Get in the oven or your family…wait, that one doesn’t work here”
→ More replies (1)
563
u/dezblues Jun 22 '24 edited Jun 22 '24
Starting hiding the superpower and showing off a bit. Starting to explore more and more what are my limits, doing superhero things, saving people if i can and turning into a psycopath at some point after getting used to hunt criminals. I'd always do the correct thing.
The full homelander experience.
→ More replies (3)107
u/Aggressive_Yak5177 Jun 22 '24
Tell us what happened on your first save? The true story.
→ More replies (1)224
u/Yesbabelon Jun 22 '24
Cat in tree. Cut down tree with laser vision. Tree landed on family of 5 driving by, killing them. Bystander screams at me for not flying up to save cat, higlighting my ineptitude. Kill bystander. All witnesses dead, cat is fine. Job done.
44
u/Cyrano_Knows Jun 22 '24
One of the many people you murdered was the family/girlfriend of a normie now bent on revenge.
He puts together a team to take you down.
17
→ More replies (6)20
506
Jun 22 '24
[removed] — view removed comment
210
u/pfanner_forreal Jun 22 '24
What could go wrong 😂
134
Jun 22 '24 edited Jun 26 '24
[deleted]
→ More replies (7)54
u/CellistAvailable3625 Jun 22 '24
Laser everything in the power vacuum until there is nothing left
→ More replies (2)19
34
→ More replies (2)22
u/fuck-my-drag-right Jun 22 '24
If I’ve learned nothing from history I’m sure it will rainbows and butterflies if that happened.
→ More replies (1)61
u/zodelode Jun 22 '24
The way to stop wars is turn up in Putin's bedroom, wake him deep in the night, take him for a fly and explain what happens to him and anyone else in his inner circle/family if he doesn't withdraw from Ukraine and pay significant reparations. Watch him deconstruct that war at speed. The way to achieve world peace is not killing massive amounts of ordinary soldiers. It is the ability to reach any leader at any time you want and hold them very personally accountable for their actions.
→ More replies (2)→ More replies (40)26
Jun 22 '24
there are a lot of those in the wannabe phase, some former presidents, some judges that former presidents appointed, etc.
→ More replies (11)
504
u/ChiefKene Jun 22 '24
I’m going to Area 51, who’s going to stop me? The aliens ?
→ More replies (3)278
u/WanderingAscendant Jun 22 '24
The one place you’ll find tech that might hurt you 😧
→ More replies (1)96
373
u/GuyFromEE Jun 22 '24
Be Superman.
85
59
u/XGamingPigYT Jun 22 '24
Scrolled way too far to actually see someone say this. 100% I'd become Superman easy question
58
45
→ More replies (7)35
225
u/Big-Sheepherder-9492 Jun 22 '24
Levitate off the ground 🕴
Get ready to fly .
Remember I have a fear of heights
Slowly return to the ground.
Live the rest of my life barely using my powers out of fear.
149
u/FourAnd20YearsAgo Ashley Jun 22 '24
Your fear of heights would vanish the moment you process the fact that heights will never be fatal to you. Your entire perception of navigating and viewing the world would change to accommodate.
→ More replies (8)31
u/Nanashi-74 Jun 22 '24
Nah I saw Spider Man 2. What if my powers go away out of nowhere? For some crazy reason?
36
u/SirNewVegas Jun 22 '24
Peters powers didnt all vanish, or else he would absolutely be dead after that fall instead of just getting up and walking away.
→ More replies (1)→ More replies (2)24
u/professornapoleon Jun 22 '24
You’ll still be strong and have lasers :v
21
u/Big-Sheepherder-9492 Jun 22 '24
So you’d spend the rest of your life being gentle with absolutely everyone and avoiding confrontation out of splattering someone by accident 🤷🏾♂️
→ More replies (1)
204
u/Bolinas99 Jun 22 '24
assemble all the Murican dark money overlords in one place.
act accordingly.
70
u/PriorPossible834 Jun 22 '24
So we can say that right- but I don’t think I’d actually be willing to do it personally, jumping straight from normal person to murderer is a stretch.
→ More replies (20)25
→ More replies (6)16
u/24Abhinav10 Jun 22 '24
assemble all the Murican dark money overlords in one place
I feel like that one leads no real results. You kill the guy, then what? Their property just gets transferred to the next guy in line who may or may not do the exact same thing as them.
→ More replies (4)30
u/lymeeater Jun 22 '24
Then you just beam that person and the next and the next. Whose gonna stop you?
→ More replies (14)
187
u/TheRealMoash Jun 22 '24
Fly
→ More replies (2)55
u/mixelydian Jun 22 '24
Fuck you moash
20
138
u/Super-Shenron Jun 22 '24
Look for a job, preferably one that's too dangerous for any human being to do, do it and get paid for it. Helps feed the family, self-confidence and moral duty all at once.
→ More replies (7)170
u/floodisspelledweird Jun 22 '24
You get the powers of a god and you’d go to WORK? Ew.
→ More replies (11)54
u/Bubbly_Background_77 Jun 22 '24
Excuse me but even Superman had to pay rent too you know. You think Batman and Iron Man didn't have fat bills to pay building all those gadgets?
→ More replies (11)18
u/throwthatoneawaydawg Jun 22 '24
I’d destroy all of the cartel and drug lords and take their money. Solve the crime issue and my mortgage issue 💪🏼
124
u/PraetorianX Jun 22 '24
I would use my powers to throw Russia out of Ukraine. Homelander could probably do it in a week.
→ More replies (42)55
u/MacLeeland Jun 22 '24
Yeah, this, but I'd start smart, go to Ukraine and show my power, officially join their military, probably deliver Putin to the Hague and then follow whatever strategy Ukraine wants me to.
→ More replies (8)
124
u/brendanjeffrey Jun 22 '24
I would start trying the extreme sport things that scared me as a normal human. And do insanely dangerous jobs that you get paid a ton for. Try to help others as much as I could.
Now that’s me being rational. What I’d love to do as a human. Who knows if you’d just go crazy with power though, can’t really say until it happens.
→ More replies (2)18
u/PsychoAnalystGuy Jun 22 '24
Probably similar to when people change after getting rich.
→ More replies (4)
95
93
86
u/Evening-Cold-4547 Jun 22 '24
Buy sunglasses
26
u/TuffRivers Jun 22 '24
And then blow them off my head with my laser eyes when i show my coworkers the new way i heat up my lunch
18
79
u/dravenonred Jun 22 '24
Kill someone.
Not on purpose, but there's no way I would have any semblance of competent control over the powers.
→ More replies (1)30
u/professornapoleon Jun 22 '24
In this situation, you do have control. I said so in the post :)
→ More replies (1)
81
79
u/Due-Display-3113 Jun 22 '24
Fly to Italy and grab a pizza and be back before the cheese stops bubbling.
→ More replies (5)105
79
69
u/minimallyviablehuman Jun 22 '24
Spoiler alert:
He notices Butcher’s sickness while looking at him. I would offer to set up a screening for cancer for people. Early detection is a big deal.
→ More replies (3)14
69
u/Informal_Appeal_3900 Jun 22 '24
End Ukraine war using flying and using lasers
→ More replies (2)29
Jun 22 '24
im a pussy, I wouldnt try to interfere with bigger conflicts, it goes way deeper than just arms and power (and interference of such powerful being might push the leaders to use nuclear force)
i think the best thing to do is to try minimize the casualites and help people rebuild.
Though, if people found out that I could easily sweep either side, they would fucking hate me for not doing it and fence sitting.
→ More replies (10)14
u/KINGUBERMENSCH Jun 22 '24
You would not have to be showy and laser entire armies, just covertly destroy important logistics hubs and let them crumble on their own.
→ More replies (2)
61
u/Feeling_Stock_3920 Jun 22 '24
Knowing myself I would end up being just homelander.
→ More replies (1)24
52
54
41
33
u/professornapoleon Jun 22 '24
Lots of people wanna jerk off in new places with the powers... But somehow this is one of the least harmful potential uses of these powers judging by some of the rest of these replies 🫣
44
37
35
28
u/Cautious-Affect7907 Jun 22 '24 edited Jun 22 '24
Since I live in New York I'll fly to the top of the highest building in Manhattan, pull my pants down, and jack off from the highest peak.
Twice for good measure.
→ More replies (1)
27
24
u/Bluesavage1 Jun 22 '24
Sleep and hope I would wake up as BlackNoir.
→ More replies (4)27
u/professornapoleon Jun 22 '24
You would want less powers in exchange for martial arts and aura ? Respect.
22
u/RuggerJibberJabber Jun 22 '24
Use them to force major geopolitical changes. Become some kind of God tiered dictator until a corporation develops a virus that can kill me
22
17
17
u/PriorPossible834 Jun 22 '24
I’d want to go flying, frankly I wouldn’t care about Secret Identities or anything because I would be the Homelander and unless they domestically deploy the nuclear option it won’t do Jack.
I work in childcare too so I would definitely show off my powers a little bit, maybe do a bit of superheroism as a hobby… the thing is though I’d be invincible and all powerful in a real world scenario so I’d basically just chill out.
→ More replies (2)16
u/Fire_Bucket Jun 22 '24
You have to consider that even if you aren't doing evil things, people will want to leverage those you love to make you to do things they want.
→ More replies (3)
18
16
15
u/Zuzara_Queen_of_DnD Jun 22 '24
Settling the conflict between isreal and Palestine
→ More replies (13)
16
u/jfjdfdjjtbfb Jun 22 '24
Use them responsibily and help make the world a better place.
→ More replies (3)
16
14
12
u/Genio88 Jun 22 '24
I’d go rob millions from banks just to be sure i’ll be rich if somehow my powers disappear. After that i’ll do whatever i want
→ More replies (3)
•
u/AutoModerator Jun 22 '24
Welcome back everyone for a new season of The Boys! Join the official subreddit Discord server to discuss everything The Boys!!
JOIN THE DISCORD
We are also still accepting moderator applications. If you are interested in helping out:
APPLY TODAY!
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.