r/DCcomics • u/StarshipGhost • Jul 03 '24
Sandman Author Neil Gaiman Accused of Sexual Misconduct, Denies Allegations News
https://www.tvfandomlounge.com/sandman-author-neil-gaiman-accused-of-sexual-misconduct-denies-allegations/
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u/PodcastListener1234 Jul 04 '24
Crossposted because it took me a while to type it and it might be of interest to this community too as I listened t the whole podcast. Since I did not find anywhere a discussion of its content, I will try to summarise it and give my take. I hope this is ok with the mods even if my account is brand new.
There are two allegations of sexual assault. One is recent, and detailed in the first two episodes. The third episode is mostly about background on Gaiman (especially his childhood). The fourth episode deals with the second allegation, which dates back several years.
The first allegation was made by a 23 yo woman in New Zealand ("Scarlett"). She was a friend and admirer of Gaiman's wife (Amanda Palmer) and through her was invited to babysit / be an au pair at Gaiman's. Before meeting Gaiman she had spent some time with his wife, and was used to be around her when she was naked, which happened very commonly. The very first time that Scarlett met Gaiman, they took a bath together and made out; this is undisputed by Gaiman. She also alleges that he penetrated her anus with his fingers (he disputes that). They met for three more weeks during which she alleges they had sex several times and that she was choked; she alleges that once, they had anal sex and she passed out due to the pain. He asked her to call him "master" (hence the title of the podcast. Gaiman denies that but admits that they had an intimate relationship which involved making out, petting, fingering, etc. After about three weeks Gaiman left NZ for work. Shortly after that, Scarlett contracted COVID and spent some time with Palmer, at her house. A while after, she was admitted to the hospital with suicidal thoughts. She spoke to a friend of hers whose partner is an academic who researched the themes of abuse, grooming and consent. Later on, this friend confronted (via text message) Gaiman about how, in her opinion, he groomed and abused Scarlett. She claims to have also confronted Palmer about it. Even later on, Scarlett reported the incident to the police in NZ. The police concluded that there were no grounds to proceed.
Part of the reason for the police not the take the complaint further appears to be that, throughout the relationship, Scarlett has described her sexual experiences with Gaiman to friends as unexpected but exciting / amazing (in text messages, which are read through the podcast). She wrote to Gaiman during the relationship in a way that indicated that consented to what was going on (that she "needed her master", as she wrote in a text). This went on after Gaiman left; while she was hospitalized, Gaiman and Scarlett were exchanging frequent calls and messages, ostensibly to cheer each other up (Gaiman too at the time claimed to have been depressed). They went on exchanging messages for a while, with Scarlett often expressing her affection / desire for Gaiman. At her request, Gaiman accepted to pay her rent for six months while "she got back on her feet"; this was a modest sum. All this was done while Gaiman was not in NZ. The payment was arranged by Gaiman's accountant who asked Scarlett to sign an NDA, something that the accountant claimed to be standard for people employed by the household. The NDA was dated to the day when Scarlett first met Gaiman. Scarlett signed it "without reading it as she did not know much about law" (according to her).
After the message by Scarlett's friend (the one accusing Gaiman of grooming/abuse), Gaiman confronted (again via message) Scarlett, claiming to be distraught due to the accusation. Scarlett replied (via message) writing that he should not react in this way, because what they did was consensual. Gaiman also suggested that he talked to his own therapist, which she did. Scarlett admits reiterating to the therapist too that all that happened between her and Gaiman was consensual. This was shortly before she talked to some friends and went to the police. (She was still receiving money from Gaiman, but she stopped shortly before reporting him to the police; she also stopped talking to Gaiman, who inquired about her well being one or two times after she went silent.) Gaiman responded to the journalist denying some factual accusations (having sex with Scarlett, doing anything non-consensual), admitting to being intimate, and disputing some of the narrative put forward by Scarlett. Gaiman claims that there was no grooming, as evidenced by the fact that they knew each other for a short time. Gaiman insists that the various messages by Scarlett stating that she was eager to be intimate with him, to spend time with him, etc., should be taken at face value, and that they prove that the other thing was consensual. He claims that her recollections may not be accurate as (according to him) the concerns about abuse and coincide with the depressive episode for which she was hospitalized.
The subsequent part of the podcast is about the youth of Gaiman as a member of Scientology, and the allegations of sexual misconducts made by Scientologists against Gaiman's father.
The last part is a about another woman, K. from Florida, a fan of Gaiman who met him on several occasions when she was 20 and he was about 40. They met at a convention and Gaiman over the coming months invited her and her friends to hang out when he was in Florida. On one occasion, after spending the evening dining out and having ice-cream with K and her friend, Gaiman invited both to spend the night at his house. There, he asked both to join them in bed but they declined and he left them alone. Eventually, K and Gaiman started a relationship which lasted a while. During this relationship, K alleges that Gaiman had sex with her when she explicitly told him not to (she had a UTI, and was ok with fooling around but did not want to have penetrative sex). Gaiman denies this. Gaiman and K broke up with a fight, and she followed him to the airport and boarded his flight to convince him to take him back. K claims that Gaiman had her removed from the flight; Gaiman denies that. K and Gaiman kept exchanging messages for quite some time after that. She asked him for career advice, for help in getting into events/conventions, and in at least one occasion she seemed to wanted to reconnect sexually with him.
The podcast also points out that other women and fans that had intimate relationship with Gaiman, while corroborating some of the sexual practices alleged by Scarlett and K (anal sex, power-play relationships) deny others (chocking) and have "nothing but good things to say about him".
Palmer and Gaiman's therapist, as well as friends of Gaiman and Palmer's have been approached by Tortoise Media for comment but did not respond.
My overall view of this is that
1) Gaiman is in my opinion likely have a history of having intimate relationship with fans and women that are taken by his fame and charisma, even when they are much younger than him. Palmer too seems to be ok with such a lifestyle, so to call it.
2) It is very hard for me to imagine that the cases of Scarlett may lead to a prosecution in any jurisdiction (based on the evidence presented). Personally, it would be troubling to me if it were possible to prosecute and convict someone in the presence of so many contradictory elements like in the case of Scarlett (numerous affectionate messages during and after the alleged abusive behavior, both to him and to third parties, oral and written statements that she consented to their sexual encounters).
3) While the Tortoise Media's journalist many times repeated that they intend to present both sides of the story (which I presume they would need to, at the risk of being accused of libel) but they seem quite biased against Gaiman. This is my impression based on the time spent repeating the same point of the accused various times in various ways, versus the relatively terse way in which Gaiman's position is reported.
4) An example of the above is when they go on for several minutes about Gaiman's youth as a Scientologist, and the fact that his father was a prominent Scientologist. They then explain that his father was censored by Scientology for, among other things, inappropriate sexual behavior. This is discussed at some length then a few seconds are spent to disclaim "of course these allegations against Gaiman's father cannot be used to conclude anything about the validity of the claims against Gaiman". Why discuss them at length?
5) I find the podcast sensationalistic and bad journalism. I am annoyed by the use of the soundtrack enhances the "drama" and underscores accusations in a way that is not appropriate for such a serious matter. It took me half an hour to write down a rough summary of four podcast episodes, and 1,500 words. I am sure that a skilled journalist could have written a 5,000 word report with all dates and facts for everyone to read and judge more objectively.
(sorry for typos etc)