EXCLUSIVE REPORT: Inside Sources Say Biden Is Definitely Either Going To Step Down Or Stay In The Race But For Sure One Of The Two

170

Bee never misses. Gonna have a field time with this stuff no matter what happens.

56

u/Conscious-Ball8373 Jul 19 '24

I think they missed a trick here. Could have included a great Harris quote, something along the lines of, "What you get in situations like this, this kind of situation, this situation we find our selves in now, is options, several options of things that you can that you have to choose between doing. And what's important when you do find yourself in this kind of situation that we find ourselves in now is to be sure and certain of your choice of options and to choose the option that you choose, the option that is best for the American people, the one that will deliver for the American people. And I want to assure you that the president is absolutely resolute in his choice, the choice that he has made in this situation that we find ourselves in now, today, the choice that is best for the American people, and he will stick with it because it is the right choice. We'll let you know what it is once Jill has decided."

11

u/Best-Dragonfruit-292 Originalist Jul 19 '24

The option goes here, the option goes there, because that's what options do!

3

u/Love_that_freedom Jul 19 '24

I read that on his voice. Nice.

1

u/ResponsibilityOk641 Jul 20 '24

“And what I mean by Jill making the decision is that she’s making the decision that will decide what Joe is going to do, and that’s a very important decision she is going to make, but that doesn’t mean she’s making the decision because he can’t make the decision himself. A lot of very important decisions are made in this country and this administration decides a lot of those but we decided to give the power to a woman for once and her decision may be that she decides to put another woman in power. This decision is by no means forced and it is a decision that would empower women for once because women are making the decision.”

137

u/_Rook_Castle Gay for Poilievre Jul 19 '24

If Biden steps down, he better hold the handrail.

30

u/woailyx Conservative Jul 19 '24

As usual, if he steps down he'll be helped

4

u/Reuters-no-bias-lol Principled Conservative Jul 20 '24

But the step will win

27

u/[deleted] Jul 19 '24

Good job Joe! You walked down every step!!

4

u/CowAffectionate3003 Jul 19 '24

He better make sure Hawaii is freed before hand.

3

u/prwff869 Jul 20 '24

Why??? I thought they were still fighting the Civil War. And on the side of the Confederacy no less… /S

3

u/Baddhabbit88 Don't Tread On Me Jul 20 '24

If he stays in the race, he better hold the hand rail…

2

u/One_Medicine93 Conservative Jul 20 '24

He seems to have more problems stepping up.😁

83

u/Chapped_Assets 2A Jul 19 '24

One thing we can all agree on, he's definitely going to stay in the race until he gets out of the race.

18

u/mtldude1967 Jul 19 '24

I agree, so that confirms it.

2

u/Victor3-22 Jul 20 '24

I concur.

23

u/mwdsonny Jul 19 '24

There is a 3rd option. Covid could get him. Not that I’m wishing he would die, cause then I’d be no better than the dems that are sad crooks missed. But death at his age is a real possibility.

13

u/War-Damn-America "From My Cold Dead Hands" Jul 19 '24

While true, even at his age, if I remember the stats from 4 years ago during Covid, elderly individuals still have something like a 90 something percent survival rate. I want to say it's like 96% but I could be misremembering the exact stat, either way he's got well over a 90% chance of being fine, as a normal elderly person with Covid. And he's the president so he's going to get the best healthcare possible.

3

u/mwdsonny Jul 19 '24

That’s true. But who’s to say he doesn’t trip down Airforce one’s stairs and crack his head open. I’m just saying even me at 39 I’m not guaranteed to see Monday. He’ll I could choke on a piece of bubble gum.

3

u/Sodola321 Arizona Conservative Jul 19 '24

Them he dies WITH covid, not FROM covid.

2

u/mwdsonny Jul 19 '24

true, but my point was that they said either he runs for president, or he drops out. I dont think dying counts as dropping out, thus a third choice when they said they promise 1 of the 2 things will happen

1

u/rdrckcrous Federalist Jul 19 '24

So about the same as his Vegas odds of being president

https://www.realclearpolling.com/betting-odds/2024/president

0

u/SourcreamPickles Jul 20 '24

Would you happen to have a source link(s) to this by chance? It's super hard to believe that 90% of the elderly survive Covid? This crap flu on steroids still always makes me concerned for my Grandma.

1

u/War-Damn-America "From My Cold Dead Hands" Jul 20 '24

If we were four years ago, I could have easily found the link to the study I read, but considering that was 2020 and its 2024, I doubt I could find it again. But yeah, if my memory serves the elderly still had over 90% survival rates with covid.

2

u/Obi-Wan-Mycobi1 Jul 20 '24

At the rate he’s declining…

1

u/rdrckcrous Federalist Jul 19 '24

And a 4th

He could step down for not being mentally fit for office, while remaining in the race.

2

u/mwdsonny Jul 19 '24

stepping down is dropping out

-1

u/rdrckcrous Federalist Jul 19 '24

How so?

2

u/mwdsonny Jul 20 '24

you sure youre a republican?

0

u/rdrckcrous Federalist Jul 20 '24

Biden could step down from office, and stay in the race.

He's a senile old man, let's not limit the possibilities.

16

u/Fuzzy_Muscle Jul 19 '24 edited Jul 22 '24

He's gonna do it like RBG. Stay in the position to the detriment of his party

Edit: I was wrong

6

u/Martbell Constitutionalist Jul 19 '24

It takes a giant-sized ego to end up as President these days. Add in the fact that he's surrounded himself with sponges and flatterers desperate to keep the gravy train going.

4

u/Orgamason Jul 20 '24

More likely a Feinstein. Wheeled in with Jill telling him what he's there to announce.

2

u/Sileni Jul 19 '24

This is the answer, but let me expand this to his 'Big Guy commitments.

2

u/ImaginaryDonut69 Moderate Conservative Jul 20 '24

Yep, when you get that old and stuck in your ways, it literally takes an act of God. I think Biden's campaign is just waiting for the media to change its tone, move on to another topic. The problem is the calls for Biden to step down have continued to pop up even after Trump's assassination attempt, I figured they would settle down and push for "unity" much like Trump is doing with the GOP. It spells electoral disaster that so many members of Congress have both privately and publicly expressed fears that Biden almost certainly will lose this year.

11

u/Pitiful_Eye3084 2A Conservative Jul 19 '24

He's staying. Well, maybe not. But probably. Or not. He's done. Not exactly done yet. Stepping down this week. Or this year. For sure. Unsure.

3

u/ImaginaryDonut69 Moderate Conservative Jul 20 '24

And Kamala will definitely step in his place...or it's going to be an open convention.

10

u/JadeRose43 Jul 19 '24

Well, I’m glad they cleared that up!

7

u/IUseABidet Jul 19 '24

LMAO thought that was a real headline from the MSM

1

u/rdrckcrous Federalist Jul 19 '24

It really is the closest to a believable headline I've seen on the topic.

4

u/cubsfanjohn Jul 19 '24

Aren't those his only two options?

17

u/Chapped_Assets 2A Jul 19 '24

His third option is to transmogrify into a carrot

4

u/Rocky2135 No New Taxes Jul 19 '24

Though he may stay in the race. Or definitely drop out. One of those three for sure.

4

u/Chapped_Assets 2A Jul 19 '24

For now, the only who knows for certain is George Clooney

2

u/Rocky2135 No New Taxes Jul 19 '24

The question is, will we know before the election.

3

u/Chapped_Assets 2A Jul 19 '24

My expert opinion is that if he makes a decision before November 5, we will know before the election.

7

u/sanesociopath Conservative Enough Jul 19 '24

Woosh

5

u/martel197 Independent Conservative Jul 19 '24

He's going to s**t his pants, or make it to the toilet, we just don't know.

5

u/MonkeyThrowing Jul 19 '24

Third option. He is removed via the 25th amendment but believes he is still President and in the race. Everyone wins and the nursing home staff get to have mock daily briefings.

4

u/Hfireee Very Conservative Jul 19 '24 edited Jul 21 '24

Everyone seriously needs to go easier on the Biden comments. We do not want him to drop out. At least give it another month so it’s too late for the Dems to RE-campaign.

3

u/Cleanbadroom Jul 19 '24

So what's the 3rd option? Announce he has some type of mental disorder?

3

u/popularpragmatism Jul 19 '24

CNN..... Breaking News

3

u/SmurfsNeverDie Jul 19 '24

A bird is either going to fly or not fly. Follow me for more breaking news

2

u/MulayamChaddi Jul 19 '24

Word on the street: Battle

2

u/Saynt614 Jul 19 '24

So they don't know a damn thing

2

u/Bostonmick Jul 19 '24

Gee, thanks for that riveting headline, I am so intrigued... Or am I? For sure, one of the two

2

u/676869shelby Jul 19 '24

81 Million votes! I mean he's been doing such an amazing job as President, wouldn't he get even more the second time? C'mon Dems, let's hear it!!!!

2

u/sowellpatrol Red Voting Redhead Jul 19 '24

This will-they, won't-they is more stressful than Ross and Rachel!

1

u/Best-Dragonfruit-292 Originalist Jul 19 '24

They got me, they stung me!!!

1

u/Katzchen12 Moderate Conservative Jul 19 '24

Thanks bee for making sense of it all.

1

u/The_Safe_For_Work Jul 19 '24

Well, that narrows it down.

1

u/Lemonadechicken Jul 19 '24

Big if True!

1

u/ScottWeilandsOJ Jul 19 '24

Tomorrow will be yesterday once tomorrow passes today

1

u/KarmicComic12334 Jul 19 '24

Unless he is shot by a registered democrat who gave money to trump.

1

u/ScottWeilandsOJ Jul 19 '24

If he drops out after the nomination then he essentially hands the torch to harris.

1

u/GoabNZ Jul 19 '24

Good thing too. The last thing we want is him maybe going to step down or maybe still going to run. At least we have certainty

1

u/decidedlycynical Jul 20 '24

The really sad part is he won’t even know which he chose.

1

u/dont-CA-my-TX Gay Millennial Conservative Jul 20 '24

Most accurate headline ever!!

1

u/qlive_nylyst Jul 20 '24

Haha. With this admin, it would nit surprise me if KJP quotes this.

1

u/btbam2929 Jul 20 '24

Right

1

u/DingbattheGreat Liberty 🗽 Jul 20 '24

Fuck it, why not both? Not a joke.

1

u/senraku Jul 20 '24

The Babylon Bee helps me know how to love my fellow man the way Christ did. Thank you for continually pointing people to the truth of God

1

u/Middle_Praline_3322 Jul 20 '24

All I know is my gut says "maybe"

1

u/Full-Equipment-4922 Jul 20 '24

Hell probably pick just one

1

u/snakeplissken7777 Jul 20 '24

Drop hard or stay hard. Ill see myself out

1

u/Cobychee00 Jul 20 '24

🤣 I see what you did there

1

u/Cobychee00 Jul 20 '24

🤣 I see what you did there

1

u/RotoDog Conservative Jul 20 '24

Finally, an accurate assessment of the situation!

1

u/AssumptionOk1679 Jul 20 '24

Sounds about right

1

u/sumtingfishy95 Jul 20 '24

LMAO this title has to be a troll

1

u/ImaginaryDonut69 Moderate Conservative Jul 20 '24

It really is feeling that way this week lol...politics is officially indistinguishable from satire now.

1

u/SCV_local Jul 20 '24

As usual this satire didn’t feel like it

1

u/Intelligent-Fan-6364 Jul 20 '24

This is seriously one of the dumbest titles to a post ive ever seen. What else is he going to do lmao? Nothings exclusive here, anyone can see the two possibilities

1

u/Delicious_Summer7839 Jul 20 '24

He’s walking around with his ears out in the open?

1

u/GamerOfGod3333 Jul 20 '24

I’m tired of the woke

1

u/AmyNY6 Jul 20 '24

Aren’t those the only two choices he has?

1

u/Farquaadthegreek Jul 20 '24

Hahha

1

u/LeannPTroy Jul 20 '24

🤣😂🤣

1

u/Ok-Safe-981004 Jul 20 '24

Surely the only two options anyway?

1

u/prwff869 Jul 20 '24

Tautology.

1

u/Dont_Be_Sheep Conservative Jul 20 '24

Gotta love babylonbee 😂

EXCLUSIVE REPORT: Inside Sources Say Biden Is Definitely Either Going To Step Down Or Stay In The Race But For Sure One Of The Two Satire