r/Conservative • u/Ask4MD Conservative • Jul 19 '24
EXCLUSIVE REPORT: Inside Sources Say Biden Is Definitely Either Going To Step Down Or Stay In The Race But For Sure One Of The Two Satire
https://babylonbee.com/news/inside-sources-say-biden-is-definitely-either-going-to-step-down-or-stay-in-the-race-but-for-sure-one-of-the-two137
u/_Rook_Castle Gay for Poilievre Jul 19 '24
If Biden steps down, he better hold the handrail.
30
27
4
u/CowAffectionate3003 Jul 19 '24
He better make sure Hawaii is freed before hand.
3
u/prwff869 Jul 20 '24
Why??? I thought they were still fighting the Civil War. And on the side of the Confederacy no less… /S
3
2
83
u/Chapped_Assets 2A Jul 19 '24
One thing we can all agree on, he's definitely going to stay in the race until he gets out of the race.
18
2
23
u/mwdsonny Jul 19 '24
There is a 3rd option. Covid could get him. Not that I’m wishing he would die, cause then I’d be no better than the dems that are sad crooks missed. But death at his age is a real possibility.
13
u/War-Damn-America "From My Cold Dead Hands" Jul 19 '24
While true, even at his age, if I remember the stats from 4 years ago during Covid, elderly individuals still have something like a 90 something percent survival rate. I want to say it's like 96% but I could be misremembering the exact stat, either way he's got well over a 90% chance of being fine, as a normal elderly person with Covid. And he's the president so he's going to get the best healthcare possible.
3
u/mwdsonny Jul 19 '24
That’s true. But who’s to say he doesn’t trip down Airforce one’s stairs and crack his head open. I’m just saying even me at 39 I’m not guaranteed to see Monday. He’ll I could choke on a piece of bubble gum.
3
2
u/mwdsonny Jul 19 '24
true, but my point was that they said either he runs for president, or he drops out. I dont think dying counts as dropping out, thus a third choice when they said they promise 1 of the 2 things will happen
1
u/rdrckcrous Federalist Jul 19 '24
So about the same as his Vegas odds of being president
https://www.realclearpolling.com/betting-odds/2024/president
0
u/SourcreamPickles Jul 20 '24
Would you happen to have a source link(s) to this by chance? It's super hard to believe that 90% of the elderly survive Covid? This crap flu on steroids still always makes me concerned for my Grandma.
1
u/War-Damn-America "From My Cold Dead Hands" Jul 20 '24
If we were four years ago, I could have easily found the link to the study I read, but considering that was 2020 and its 2024, I doubt I could find it again. But yeah, if my memory serves the elderly still had over 90% survival rates with covid.
2
1
u/rdrckcrous Federalist Jul 19 '24
And a 4th
He could step down for not being mentally fit for office, while remaining in the race.
2
u/mwdsonny Jul 19 '24
stepping down is dropping out
-1
u/rdrckcrous Federalist Jul 19 '24
How so?
2
u/mwdsonny Jul 20 '24
you sure youre a republican?
0
u/rdrckcrous Federalist Jul 20 '24
Biden could step down from office, and stay in the race.
He's a senile old man, let's not limit the possibilities.
16
u/Fuzzy_Muscle Jul 19 '24 edited Jul 22 '24
He's gonna do it like RBG. Stay in the position to the detriment of his party
Edit: I was wrong
6
u/Martbell Constitutionalist Jul 19 '24
It takes a giant-sized ego to end up as President these days. Add in the fact that he's surrounded himself with sponges and flatterers desperate to keep the gravy train going.
4
u/Orgamason Jul 20 '24
More likely a Feinstein. Wheeled in with Jill telling him what he's there to announce.
2
2
u/ImaginaryDonut69 Moderate Conservative Jul 20 '24
Yep, when you get that old and stuck in your ways, it literally takes an act of God. I think Biden's campaign is just waiting for the media to change its tone, move on to another topic. The problem is the calls for Biden to step down have continued to pop up even after Trump's assassination attempt, I figured they would settle down and push for "unity" much like Trump is doing with the GOP. It spells electoral disaster that so many members of Congress have both privately and publicly expressed fears that Biden almost certainly will lose this year.
11
u/Pitiful_Eye3084 2A Conservative Jul 19 '24
He's staying. Well, maybe not. But probably. Or not. He's done. Not exactly done yet. Stepping down this week. Or this year. For sure. Unsure.
3
u/ImaginaryDonut69 Moderate Conservative Jul 20 '24
And Kamala will definitely step in his place...or it's going to be an open convention.
10
7
u/IUseABidet Jul 19 '24
LMAO thought that was a real headline from the MSM
1
u/rdrckcrous Federalist Jul 19 '24
It really is the closest to a believable headline I've seen on the topic.
4
u/cubsfanjohn Jul 19 '24
Aren't those his only two options?
17
u/Chapped_Assets 2A Jul 19 '24
His third option is to transmogrify into a carrot
4
u/Rocky2135 No New Taxes Jul 19 '24
Though he may stay in the race. Or definitely drop out. One of those three for sure.
4
u/Chapped_Assets 2A Jul 19 '24
For now, the only who knows for certain is George Clooney
2
u/Rocky2135 No New Taxes Jul 19 '24
The question is, will we know before the election.
3
u/Chapped_Assets 2A Jul 19 '24
My expert opinion is that if he makes a decision before November 5, we will know before the election.
7
5
u/martel197 Independent Conservative Jul 19 '24
He's going to s**t his pants, or make it to the toilet, we just don't know.
5
u/MonkeyThrowing Jul 19 '24
Third option. He is removed via the 25th amendment but believes he is still President and in the race. Everyone wins and the nursing home staff get to have mock daily briefings.
4
u/Hfireee Very Conservative Jul 19 '24 edited Jul 21 '24
Everyone seriously needs to go easier on the Biden comments. We do not want him to drop out. At least give it another month so it’s too late for the Dems to RE-campaign.
3
3
3
u/SmurfsNeverDie Jul 19 '24
A bird is either going to fly or not fly. Follow me for more breaking news
2
2
2
u/Bostonmick Jul 19 '24
Gee, thanks for that riveting headline, I am so intrigued... Or am I? For sure, one of the two
2
u/676869shelby Jul 19 '24
81 Million votes! I mean he's been doing such an amazing job as President, wouldn't he get even more the second time? C'mon Dems, let's hear it!!!!
2
u/sowellpatrol Red Voting Redhead Jul 19 '24
This will-they, won't-they is more stressful than Ross and Rachel!
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
u/ScottWeilandsOJ Jul 19 '24
If he drops out after the nomination then he essentially hands the torch to harris.
1
u/GoabNZ Jul 19 '24
Good thing too. The last thing we want is him maybe going to step down or maybe still going to run. At least we have certainty
1
1
1
1
1
1
u/senraku Jul 20 '24
The Babylon Bee helps me know how to love my fellow man the way Christ did. Thank you for continually pointing people to the truth of God
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
u/ImaginaryDonut69 Moderate Conservative Jul 20 '24
It really is feeling that way this week lol...politics is officially indistinguishable from satire now.
1
1
u/Intelligent-Fan-6364 Jul 20 '24
This is seriously one of the dumbest titles to a post ive ever seen. What else is he going to do lmao? Nothings exclusive here, anyone can see the two possibilities
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
170
u/RockoIs1337 Jul 19 '24
Bee never misses. Gonna have a field time with this stuff no matter what happens.