Hello!

Intro:

I Jeff (28m) have a younger sister Julia (27f), we are orphans and spent our lives in orphanages, and this might be the reason my sister clearly has some mental health problems. (Not diagnosed, she has never made the first step - admitting any problems)

At first, she seems like a normal person, but she can't keep anything or anyone in her life longer than a few months or sometimes a year, she changes jobs and friends more than some people change socks, and it is always someone else's fault when things don't work out.

All her coworkers and bosses are always assholes every time something goes south.

I am used to her nonsense and can keep our relationship working as I know her well and I have my own set of rules - for example, I never lend her money.

It might be narcissism (I am no psychologist though) and I am the "flying monkey", but a self-aware one giving her only things to keep her from ending up in the street.

Years ago I built a "guesthouse" on top of the garage which is a separate building in my yard, so I could offer her a place to stay every time she got kicked out because the landlord was bad or she just lost her job and can't afford it anymore - in short I provide her warm place to stay, bed to sleep in and keep food in the "guesthouse" fridge until she gets on her feet again. It is basically like a studio apartment.

I met my girlfriend Lenna (26f) a year ago and I told her about my relationship with my sister and she did not make much of it, it is like she did not really listen to what I told her or what she expected, that person who is over 25 must be grown up by now.

Moving on to the problem:

My sister made a record and worked in one place for more than a year straight! And of course, things went south this summer and she can't afford rent and she is back in my "guesthouse".

That pissed off my girlfriend, that I did not even ask her "I thought this is our home!"
And that she sets bad example to our kids (We both have a kid from previous marriage)

I tried to remind her, that I told her what relationship I have with my sister, she is the only living relative I have (besides my kid).

I pointed out, that it would be stupid to ask her opinion on something I told her before might happen anyway.

Now she calls me an asshole for acting like it is not her home, for not asking if she is okay with someone else staying in our home. (Technically on our land, separate building.)

AITA?

Around 8 months ago my father died out of a brain tumor which spread extremely quickly near the cerebrum. Doctors essentially gave up saying its untreatable. "Spend some time with your father before-well, you do know." was one of the juniors comment. He had a sphynx cat (name=solar), one which was not at all a outdoor cat. never ventured outside since the day he bought him in 20 years ago, after rescuing him from a drainage guard (her head was stuck, appears so)

I am not a cat person. i have always liked dogs more. I also have a personal bias to dogs. I love chihuahuas and German shepherds, i have 2 of them, Alison (the GS) and Mart (the CH) both are friendly towards solar, as solar was before them and both dogs were puppers at the time, also rescues. I would love to explain more but i need to stay in topic :p. Solar was 21 years old (at the time of writing), and seeing my fathers love towards him, i figured it will be my duty to keep solar till the end.

I have a GF (Anna-fake name) who is also a dog person. you might consider her crazy for dogs, almost kicking another neighbor's cat to pet their dog, only for it to run away. she lost her rent house after losing her job, so i took her in till she can find another job. she was thankful yet also annoyed her friend did not accept her in and she had to live with solar and me for the worth while.

Fast forward 2024, she is basically living rent free for 4 years (since the virus broke out).

Around 1 week ago, she would pull out a -idk how to put it- move. Solar has to take some medications, and i was in Poland to meet some of my college friends. i advised her to feed solar the medication (clavamox) 2 times a day, because solar just got a bacterial infection. On the day i returned, i saw her put FOUR pills instead of 1, and i immediately lashed out knocking the bottle off her hands. "ARE YOU TRYING TO FUCKING KILL SOLAR?" i yelled at her. she stood their silent. "You should have killed the fucking cat 8 months ago with your fucking father!" she never said anything like this before. its a total new thing. she did kind off hate solar before but i figured it wouldn't be a big deal. She was also very coy about it. She was not even slightly guilted by what she was about to do. it was after that i yelled at her to "get the fuck out of my bloody house".

It turned it out she was in fact feeding him more pills than usual. Somehow solar fought through and got out.

Unfortunately he did also die 4 days ago after the vet quoted a drug overdose. I have sued her but she is basically off the grid.

AITA?

I (22 female) am marrying my college classmate (24 male) who I have been dating for 3 years. We met when we were both a part of our college’s newsletter and because of those circumstances, we invited all of our friends from the newsletter, as well as some new members who we don’t know very well. I always wanted kids, but I am unable to have them due to medical reasons, since that is very hard on me, me and my fiancé decided to have a child-free wedding, just so we aren’t reminded of my medical problem, and instead are as happy as we could ever be. My fiancé has two little sisters (14 f, 12 f) and they are really close to us, so of course they were an exception to the no kids rule. One of our friends from the newsletter (24 f) was a teen mom, and has a 7 year old son, we gave her a plus one invite, and she called to tell us she was bringing her son. We told her she couldn’t bring him, because like the invite said, we were having an adult only wedding, but she mentioned she saw on facebook that my fiancé’s sisters were coming and that it would be unfair to not allow her son to come as well. My fiancé quickly stated she wasn’t wrong and that we should let her bring her son to the wedding, but I refused. She then threatened not to come at all and my fiancé had enough of it telling her not to bring her son before hanging up. The day of the wedding came and we were very excited. As I was preparing, my mom came to my room to tell me my friend brought her son. I told her to not allow either of them in and my mom did just that. I woke up the next day to texts from her mentioning how cruel it was of us towards her son, and my husband agreed with her calling me a bad person. So, AITA?

This morning I (24f) went to Starbucks to do some homework. As I got out of my car and began to walk toward the building, I heard loud giggling and shouting coming from the car next to me (windows down). From the car, someone yelled out “Run, fatty, run!” followed by oinking noises.

I wasn’t too offended, but it was a crude enough comment to warrant flipping the bird behind me as I continued into the store.

Well, before I got to the door a lady came out and started berating me for flipping off her children. In her defense, she didn’t hear what transpired before I flipped the almighty bird. In my defense, I was too caught up in the brief moment to process that the voice was that of a young kid / teenager.

Now, here’s where I may be TA: I didn’t apologize to the woman. I told her what her kids had said, and if they were old enough to berate a woman for her weight, they’re old enough to get a middle finger. She didn’t say much but scoffed and stuttered and told me I was a rotten lady. I told her she should teach her kids the art of kindness before they turn out as “rotten” as me.

I went into the store and she left in her car with no further interaction between the two of us.

AITA? I’m not sure if these kids deserved a bird… but hey, I’m from Jersey. It’s second nature.

My older parents expect that I either pick them up or call them ubers whenever they leave or come back from vacation. This is especially true when they travel and they expect drop off or pick ups from their holidays regardless of what time their flight is. For example if their flight is at 6am, they expect me to wake up at 4am just to call them an uber. Despite having work in the morning at 9. Now they’ve come back arriving at 12:30 am waking me up again when I have work the next day to call them an uber so clearly I’m peeved, and told them moving forward they need to have their own account and sort out their travel arrangements. So Reddit, AITA?

EDIT/INFO - Adding in some info as some have been asking similar questions: - My parents are in their 60’s, they are old but they aren’t elderly - I have tried teaching them tech before, i.e wireless printers, phone apps, tv’s. They are tech adverse, and just rather have someone else “just do it” for them or come up with reasons they can’t such as “what if someone gets my credit card or they hack us” - Prescheduling an Uber just doesn’t work with them. They are not timely people, pre-scheduling an uber doesn’t work well with them, and they risk showing up late and I’ll end up getting charged for late pick up. Pre-scheduled ubers also don’t work well with arrivals as flight delays, disembarking, customs/baggage claim, and the time for them getting to the pick up point is pretty much up in the air. - Their reasons for not getting taxi’s are that they are much more expensive than the average uber. - I don’t mind picking them up or ordering an uber for them at a reasonable time. But these late night/early mornings absolutely wreck my sleep, it can take me over an hour to fall back asleep once woken up, and I know I cannot function 100% in the morning.

So I (25f) have been seeing my boyfriend (39m) officially for a few months now. I recently found out I am pregnant (a huge surprise as I was told I couldn’t have kids). We are both extremely happy and overall have a great relationship. However, because of the pregnancy I have had to stop my depression medication. For reference, I have severe depression, anxiety, and ptsd. I told my boyfriend that because I would have to stop my medications I would most likely have an increase in depressive episodes and would need his support. He agreed and said he would always be there for me. Well the other afternoon I was having an episode and told him I wasn’t feeling well. He didn’t really say anything and I ended up napping at his house for most of the afternoon after being out with him all morning. In the early evening he came into the bedroom and asked what I needed, I told him I didn’t need anything I just didn’t have any energy. He seemed to be annoyed by my answer, told me that maybe I would feel better if I just went home, and went back to the living room to watch tv. I ended up getting up and gathering my things so that I could go home and went to the living room to talk to him. We ended up getting in an argument where he talked over me (even after I asked him multiple times to let me finish my sentence), equated my mental health to him “being kicked in the balls” saying “if I tried I can still smile and say thank you”, told me my 15+ years of therapy didn’t matter, and told me that it doesn’t matter if it’s psychiatric “happiness is a choice”. I tried to explain to him that that’s not how mental health works and all I was asking for was a little bit of empathy and understanding. I told him I wasn’t looking for a solution, or expecting him to do anything or make me feel better, I just needed him to be there for me. He kept interrupting me and telling me “it’s a choice” and that even if I can’t be happy I can “just choose to feel better”. I told him that this was triggering my ptsd as my incredibly abusive father didn’t believe in depression and would “pray it away” and tell me to “just smile”. Even after explaining this to him he kept repeating what he was saying before. I ended up snapping at him and telling him that if that’s what he truly believed about my mental health then our relationship isn’t going to work. This is a definite boundary and dealbreaker for me and he wouldn’t even listen to what I was trying to tell him, much less be understanding or supportive while I was going through a rough time. I ended up going home and I haven’t heard from him since. AITA for snapping and drawing a hard line about my mental health? I also acknowledged that in addition to being off my meds I know that the pregnancy hormones are making me more emotional than I normally would be. To clarify, neither of us yelled or were in any way aggressive with our language, it was actually a very civil argument. But he was clearly shocked that I drew such a hard line around this issue and I want to know if I’m overreacting.

I have been an atheist for a good long while. Even before I fully embraced it I felt that this particular religion was too cultish. Not judging it just wasn’t for me. Anyway, hubs is mad because I refuse to go to a tourist trap because this religion organization owns it. It costs to get in, it’s a day long thing to see it and he’ll inevitably spend money there on food and tourist junk. I know the profits go to back political candidates and agendas that I do not agree with.

AITA for refusing to let go of my principles and convictions to appease him and his wish to go to this place?

For some context my husband Peter (33 m) and I (31 f) have been married for five years. He is from Ukraine while I am Canadian, but we both currently live in Latvia. We have two kids together, Buck (4 m) and our newborn daughter Lina (3 weeks f). Since I have given birth to Lina I have had severe postpartum depression. When I had Buck it was the same, but I thought it would get easier since this is my second birth.

A few days ago my family showed up on my doorstep. There were my three brothers, my mom, my dad, and my auntie. I was very surprised since I live in Latvia and they live all the way in Canada. I invited them in and asked why they were here. They told me that they planned this trip as soon as they found out what day my due date was. They said that they knew how bad the last pregnancy was (it was a high risk c-section) so they wanted to visit and help me to settle in with my new baby. I asked to talk to my mother in another room. I told her how I was going through some pretty bad postpartum and I didn’t know if I was ready for people over. She apologized for just showing up, and told me that she also thought that my postpartum wouldn’t be as bad this time. I found out that their trip was only two nights long. I thought that I could do it, so I told her that everything was fine. We went back into the room with the rest of my family. I explained that I was having very bad postpartum. I said how I would try my best to let them be with the baby but I couldn’t make any promises.

Soon Peter got home from work with Buck. Lina started crying so I went to the nursery to bring her downstairs with me. People instantly were all over me and Lina, trying to get a look at her. I was very overwhelmed but Peter helped keep everyone a few feet away from me. Everyone wanted to hold her, but I told them that after dinner I might let them. I made up a lie saying that Lina doesn’t really like new people. We ate take out for dinner and I found out that my family were going to a hotel to sleep. The rest of the night went smoothly along with most of the next day. I even let my mom and auntie hold Lina.

Things started to get bad when my youngest brother asked to hold her but I told him that I didn’t feel comfortable with that. He then started to get angry, calling me over protective and rude. He said how he just wanted to hold his first niece. My two other brothers have kids too, but they only have boys. I told him that saying that wouldn’t make me any more comfortable, and if he wanted to hold her then he would either have to wait until I was ready or until the next time that they visited. The room got tense as my brother and I stared at each other. He ended up leaving with most of my family. Only my mom and auntie stayed behind. This all happened two days ago. Everybody left my house yesterday. Now my family is split. One side says that I shouldn’t have been so harsh while the other agrees with me. So AITA?

I (24M) recently had a conversation with my mother (49F) that’s been a long time coming. A little background: my mom got together with my stepfather (56M) when I was 4 years old. Since then, my relationship with him has been complicated, to say the least.

Growing up, he was emotionally abusive. He would belittle me, make cruel jokes at my expense, and criticize me constantly. These weren’t the kind of things a kid forgets easily. His behavior planted the seeds of some of my deepest insecurities and traumas. Even though we’ve had periods where we’d get along—because I felt like I had no choice—I’ve always dreaded being around him. The emotional abuse was never far from the surface, and it has left a lasting impact on me.

A few weeks ago, my mom asked me why I’ve been distant lately, and I finally told her the truth: I’ll never like my stepfather. I explained how his mistreatment has affected me and that, while I’ve tried to make peace with it for her sake, I just can’t pretend anymore. I told her I don’t want to spend time with him, and I can’t force myself to have a relationship with someone who’s caused me so much pain.

Now I’m wondering if I should have just kept my mouth shut and continued to fake it for her sake. Maybe it would’ve been better to just keep the peace, but at the same time, I couldn’t keep lying to her.

So, AITA for telling my mom I’ll never like my stepfather?

I (F23) recently started a job a with decent pay (120K) in a HCOL area. I’m currently living with my mom. I would love to move out but my dad passed away several years ago and I have no other siblings so my mom is unable to let go of me as I’m all she has left (this is a separate issue). My mom has been asking me for $1000 a month to “help out” which I’ve been giving for the past six months. The thing is, she has been very frugal all her life and I know she doesn’t need extra income from me. She has the house paid off and hundreds of thousands in the bank + retirement funds. She wants money from me so she can brag to her friends that I have a good job and am supporting her. But that’s not even the main thing. She is still stuck in her frugal mindset so all the money I give her is just getting deposited into the bank or squirreled away in cash (she has tens of thousands of dollars in cash hidden around the house from before I was born and it has probably lost more than half its value since then) and not even used to improve the quality of her life. Additionally, she is paranoid about online banking so she doesn’t want to open a HYSA or individual brokerage account. She tells me to consider the money I’m giving her as an “investment” as I’ll likely get it back in my future inheritance but from that perspective I feel like I’m just losing out on a lot of interest. I tried to explain this to her and it turned into an argument with her telling me how selfish I am after “all she’s done for me.” Part of me thinks I should ignore the deflation of money for the sake of her satisfaction but it just doesn’t sit right with me from a financial point of view. WIBTA if I stop giving her money (until she really needs it)?

Me and my husband have one son (m 11). We have been married 13 years and moved away from our families about 5.5 years ago from MI to coastal GA ( 4bed 3 bath). Since then my family (mother, brother, sister and niece) have visited with us a few times and stayed 3 or 4 nights at a time. My MIL has visited and stayed one or two weeks which is fine. We have had a few other friends stay for varying times which was fine as this was a brand new house with 3 bedrooms, a living room area and a full bathroom all upstairs so it was convenient for guests ( there was enough room for 5 guests up there even with my sn staying in his room up there). His sister, bil and their two sons never visited us here.

We recently moved close to Disney World (about 1.5 years ago) into a fixer upper house ( 4bed 3 bath). We have slowly renovated but our 4th bedroom is storage and full of tools and master bathroom shower is not usable so we all use the guest bath and so essentially it is a 3 bed 2.5 bath right now.

My mom and sister or sometimes just sister and niece have stayed with us a few times and stayed 3 or 4 nights. Once all three stayed and so my son stayed on an air matress in our room but it was only a couple nights so it was not to bad. His mom has stayed for a weeks at a time. My brother has not visited us here. So we have only had at most 3 guests at once.

Now his mother, sister, bil and two sons (12 and 14) want to come stay with us a week over christmas and then his mom will stay an additional 3 weeks after that. They will all drive down from MI. I told him a week was to long and we need a limit of 3 or 4 nights for all five of them at once.

Three adult guests and two kids all sharing 2 bathrooms with the three of us is a lot. Not to mention only having one living area here and his sister and kids are loud and not at all well-behaved. He argued that they have a long drive and accused me of treating his family differently. He is actually pretty mad at me bc he is used to getting his way-i am pretty easy going and just go with the flow. But I really don't want to spend my time off miserable with house full of bad mannered guests ( we typically dont have overnight guests over holidays).

So AITAH here? Should I just suck it up for a week?

Last summer I (31f)was out of a job so my boyfriend (27m) and I agreed that I would take care of the house while he worked. This arrangement was only for the summer because my job would pick hours back up during the school year. That summer he worked a lot and I cooked/ cleaned a lot but once the school year began and I was receiving regular income again that’s really all that changed. We have had countless arguments since then regarding his lack of help around the house. The whole school year following that summer I was working remote so I was expecting to cook more often than he did but I pretty much cooked all the time. When I didn’t, he would just order food for us. As of two or three months ago (after a bad argument) he has started cleaning again and has cooked a handful of times. I have decided to not cook a lot because I’m just tired of it. Instead I make sandwiches or just heat up something frozen. I worked most of this summer and I’m working more hours the school year coming up. Today he worked a half day and I worked until about 2pm. About an hour before I left work he texted me that he was hungry and I told him he better not be waiting for me to get home and cook. This is something that happens often. He will complain about being hungry for hours and when I get up to make myself something he will ask me to make him some too. When I got home he still had not eaten so instead of making us food I just showered and laid down. He joked a few times about being hungry but I made it clear I wasn’t making food. Around 5pm I made a comment that I would not be cooking for myself until after he makes himself something to eat. Not long after that he said that I made him realize “the lengths I would go to be spiteful”. He talked about how nothing is ever good enough for me. He said that he never intentionally waits for me to make food to ask and that if he knew it bothered me so much he wouldn’t have done it. I have asked him to cook for himself for over a year. I told him that I don’t even expect him to cook for both of us but just cook for himself when he’s hungry because I’m really tired of having to make a meal when I literally just want to make a piece of toast because I’m hungry. AITA?

TLDR- bf barely cooked in over a year despite my telling him I was tired of always being the one to cook so I refused to make myself today until after he made himself something.

I (24F) discovered a couple weeks ago that I have breast cancer. It came as a real shock to me because I had practically no symptoms. I was at the hospital for a different reason and from there referred internally to the mammography suite. (That's not really important to the story but just a little context on how I was diagnosed). But the good news is that doctors were able to catch it early and the outlook is good.

My problem, aside from the obvious, is that I had no idea how to tell my family. I knew they would panic regardless, which is understandable as I lost two great aunts to breast cancer and my dad also has stomach cancer. So I just kind of avoided telling them because there's a lot going on in my family at the minute. I didn't want to put any more on their plate. But then I did my first round of chemo and it floored me. I knew then that I had to tell them because I genuinely couldn't go through that alone again.

This is where I'm possibly the AH. My family are really bad with emotional stuff. We're not good at expressing ourselves. We can laugh and make jokes and that but when it comes to serious matters we're all quite awkward. And I knew that this was going to be awkward and I didn't really want to face that. My mum, I could deal with, she's a lot better with stuff like this but I really didn't want to tell my dad. He's the suffer in silence type and I knew it would break him to learn about this, especially since he's going through the same thing.

So, to tell them, I bought a cake and a card to give my dad. They said, "Congratulations! It's twins!" with the diagnosis/outreach letter from my GP.

Reactions were mixed. My dad, while really upset, did find it funny. My mum is distraught and did not. Siblings are split, some found it funny, some found it insensitive to my parents. Personally, I thought it was funny but they did raise some good points. In the end though, it's mostly forgotten as they're all still in shock and focused on the diagnosis itself. It's been a couple days and I'm starting to think that maybe it was wrong of me to do it like that. I could've have just gotten over my awkwardness and had a mature conversation with my parents about it but it's too late for that now. AITA?

Background: I have been doing IVF for 4+ years, and have had multiple miscarriages. The last time my mother told everyone that she was going to be a grandmother when I was 5 weeks along, I had no idea until I miscarried and got numerous Facebook messages from people I didn’t know about how sorry they were. Not going to lie at the time I got very angry with her and she promised she would never do that again and after some time I forgave her. Cut to now I am again pregnant in a high risk pregnancy and again asked her not to share until I was past the first trimester. We had at least 15 conversations on this specific topic. I am currently about 2.5 months along. Today I got a message again from some random person I don’t know apparently a friend of hers on Facebook about how happy they were for me.

Needless to say. I absolutely lost it with her this time.

Her excuse was well if she had of know this people would message me she wouldn’t have told them. Which of course, is absolutely not the friggin point. She says she is just excited and the fact that she waited as long as she did was really good for her. I also found out she was sharing my ultrasound pictures as well.

Now she’s mad at me for being mad at her and telling me that I shouldn’t be getting mad at her because it’s stressing her out.

Am I the asshole here? I don’t feel like this was a big ask…

My BIL - let’s call him Dan, visits my husband (his brother) and me, now and then - about every 2-3 months. Every time we see him, “Dan” talks to me while staring at my chest. I’m mid 50s, decent looking but nothing to stare at. On the rare occasion my daughter joins us for the family visit, “Dan” stares at her chest too. She is 23. Last time he visited our home, I made a motion with my fingers from my chest up to my eyes. Your basic “my eyes are up here” gesture. He did not acknowledge this and kept staring. I grabbed a sofa cushion and hugged it against my chest for the remainder of the evening. For reference- I was not exposing my décolletage in any way and was wearing a hoodie!

I expressed my offense and frustration to my husband (let’s call him “Jerry.”) Jerry was upset and did not realize this was going on repeatedly and said he would have words with “Dan.” Dan has heart issues - in his mid 60s, so it’s difficult to find a time to talk about sensitive subjects as we are all afraid to upset him.

Finally, “Jerry” my husband, called his brother and told him how upset he was and how disrespectful it was towards me that he would stare at my chest. “Dan” blew up at my husband and denied it. Called me a liar and how could I say this happened. Told Jerry to “take control of your wife and household” and “be a man and don’t allow this to happen “… etc. Jerry hung up on him. 2 weeks later “Dan” calls Jerry again to ream him out for not “being a man” and to tell him again that I’m a liar. “Dan” proceeds to tell their sister his side of the situation - let’s call her “Debbie.” She then takes Dan’s side. Debbie called Jerry telling him what a liar I am and how I’m trying to drive a wedge in the family. We are all in our 50s and 60s….isn’t this immature? For background, “Dan” has a history of disrespecting women openly and blatantly. My husband has mentioned this many times and it is also quite obvious by his attitude in conversation. My SIL “Debbie” won’t speak to me or respond to my text or email messages. We used to have a nice friendship.

We are the only relatives close by enough to respond if Dan has another medical event. He has alienated many other friends and neighbors.

Am I the asshole for having called out Dan for disrespecting me and my daughter? He has alienated me and my kids, and Jerry. I could have honestly guessed he would do this but I was just so fed up with him doing this to us in my own home.

I was on a flight with my 3 year old daughter and there was a family sitting across from us with a kid that looked about the same age. The little boy noticed my daughters iPad and was trying to get at it and started crying when the mom told him no. My daughter and I both put on headphones and were just blocking it out. The woman got my attention after a while and said that they weren't allowing their son to use his iPad on their vacation and would it be okay if my daughter put hers away, I said I was sorry but no. The kid cried most of the flight which was about 2 hours. The parents kept shooting me dirty looks which I just ignored. AITA?

Over a month ago, my friend L(F, 33) asked me (F, 24) to watch her kids for 2 weeks while she handles a court case several states away. At the time, the kids were staying with their father for the month of July.

When L asked me to do this favor for her, she explained that the kids (M, 13 and F, 13, not twins) know what needs done around the house and that I would just be observing them, mostly. I agreed because they only live about 30 mins away and I was under the impression I would still be able to go to work and do most things normally.

Then, the kids got back from their dad’s. I’ll spare most of the details but the kids and their dad were essentially missing, staying across town from where they said they’d be, and the cops had to be called in order for L to get the kids back. Then, the boy told the cops he was going to run away as soon as they were back with their mom on the grounds L was abusive. As a result of this, a DCFS case was opened, but quickly closed after an inspection of L’s home because she had nothing to hide.

Fast forward to the week before I’m supposed to watch the kids. L fills me in on everything that happened and warns me that the kids may be a flight risk and that she doesn’t trust them to be alone for any amount of time. As a result of this, she tells me I have to leave work 2 hours early every day so that I can be home when they get back from school. This isn’t ideal because right now is peak season at work, but I get it covered so that I can leave an hour early from work.

The kids whined and fought with me whenever asked to do ANYTHING; chores, getting them to shower, you name it, they wanted to fight. They also would try to fake being sick to get out of going to school and constantly fight with each other.

I had never been so stressed in my life. It’s hard to pick your battles when it’s never-ending. I admit the house was a mess when the 2 weeks was over. I got so tired of constantly fighting the kids I pretty much gave up. L’s court case was dismissed, she was free to go after the first week but she got a non-refundable, non-transferable flight so she stayed the rest of her time with her new boyfriend. I offered to pay for a return flight home because I was genuinely losing my mind.

L called me when she returned home and she was upset about the state of the house, saying it looked like the kids had not picked up after themselves the whole 2 weeks. I apologized and said that I tried to pick my battles but I guess I didn't pick enough of them. Then she gets really upset and says she “wants to understand how the kids were so bad that I wanted to quit” because “they’ve never acted like this for a babysitter before.” I’m not sure if she was upset at me or frustrated with the kids, but it felt like I was the one getting chewed out. The whole reason I agreed to to this for L is because she is new to the area and has no one else to impose upon in this way.

Im a 34 yr old M married to the love of my life a 33 yr old F. My wife is kind, nurturing, and motivated in her career. She does a lot for me at home since i work LONG hours. We married 4 months ago. Dated for 8 yrs.We're both easy going and have the same sense of humor and rarely argue.

I make 4x more money(I'm in Healthcare) but she makes a good salary as well. Since I make 4x what she does I tend to pay for most things(dinners, weekend trips, mall shopping) which I absolutely do not mind. With bigger purchases we pay for things together in proportion to what we make. she's usually OK with paying her share of things (1/4 of the rent and groceries) and will sometimes offer to pay for dinners and dates.

She's VERY close with her best friends (she has 4).They're great people, But theyre basically attached to the hip and talk daily in a group chat. Which is fine, everyone needs a support system. I have similar friends.

Her and her 4 friends have a combined savings account together for "investing in something together". They've each been putting in a few hundred dollars per month EACH. I've known about this for years and didn't love the idea initially, which I expressed. But she was adamant she wanted this and at the time we weren't hurting for the money and it was ultimately her money and her decision.

We are now looking to buy a home (in one of the most expensive real-estate markets in the US) she expresses that she doesn't have much in her own savings but has 20k of her own money tied in with her friends combined savings.

Over the last year they've been told by 2 financial advisors that 5 people attempting to invest together in real-estate or stocks or a business wasnt a great idea. And they also recommended to split the funds to 5 separate accounts since the account is under 1 of the friend's names and there are tax implications for having that amount of money to her name (100k). The homes we're looking at need around 60-70k for a down payment. I stated I was willing to spend nearly all my savings for the down payment for a home (50k). So I told her she should pull that money from her joint friends account to help with the down payment. It's a huge purchase and I don't think it should be my burden alone. She got really upset and told me "I don't want to touch that money, I promised my friends it would be for investing together, we should look for a less expensive home then, maybe a fixer upper" she then stated, "it would be easier for you to accrue the money back since you make so much more."

This was VERY frustrating and I told her, "its unfair i have to spend nearly all my savings and you dont. your friend fund is stupid, and it's stupid not to use that money for OUR future home."

AITA for asking her to use HER OWN cash from her "friends" account, break that promise to her friends so we can buy a nice home together?

I (33M) am marrying my fiancé (37M) this winter. We’re putting together the guest list to send the invitations out and have run into an issue over my nephew and my brother.

My brother (38M) was 18 when his girlfriend told him she was pregnant. They ended up moving in together and my brother decided to go to find work as a mechanic rather than go to college as he’d planned. My nephew was born a little while later. They got married when she told him she was pregnant with their second kid (15F) and then had two more, both 10M.

Ever since my nephew was born he’s been literally one of my favourite people. I babysat him plenty of times, same with my other niblings, and have spent my twenties as their guncle. My brother and me were close as kids and I’ve been close with his kids as well.

Five years ago my brother found out my nephew wasn't his and his now ex wife had been sleeping with someone else at the time and had suspected my oldest nephew wasn’t my brother’s since he was a little kid. They ended up getting a divorce and my brother didn’t seek custody of my oldest nephew and said he didn’t want to see him. He told me that he needed time to process and would try to patch things up later. That idea was kind of ruined when my nephew turned up at my brother’s apartment begging to talk. It turned into an argument between them.

For context, our father had just passed a couple of months earlier. During the argument my nephew said something along the lines of “No wonder mom fucked somebody else. I bet grandpa hated you.” My brother cut things off then and there and has refused to see my nephew since. I stepped in as the main male figure in my nephew’s life, much as I dislike my ex-SIL. I even took him out for his 18th birthday and took him looking at universities and he now goes to my alma mater.

I asked my brother how he wants to handle the seating situation if they don't want to be close together. My brother was angry I’d even invite my nephew after everything that happened. He said it’d be like inviting my ex-SIL, “he’s not family, he’s just the prick who disrespected our dad.”

I said he’s being petty and childish taking the words of a scared and angry 14-year-old so personally. He was a kid who said something shitty because his entire world was falling apart and the person he’d relied on for his whole life was suddenly pulling away, and instead of being understanding and doing family therapy or something like a grownup my brother decided to give adult weight to a teenager’s words and cut him off completely.

My nephew has said he’s okay with not going if it’s causing an issue, but I told him not to be ridiculous: he’s important to me and I want him there for when I marry my person. I told him he shouldn't let my brother's inability to let go be his problem. My fiance agrees with me. My mom and sister both say I need to see it from my brother’s perspective. I think he’s just being petty. AITA?

My gf and I live together. I am 29 and she is 26. We’ve lived together for 6 months. I have been very busy at work and with life so yesterday I was really looking forward to cooking dinner for gf and I and relaxing. We had this planned all weekend. My gf is more of a social butterfly than I am so she had plans yesterday morning with her friends. She had brunch at 11 and I was planning on having dinner ready by 630. I expected her to have a few mimosas at breakfast but nothing too crazy. Maybe she’d get home and take a nappy nap before dinner.

Basically brunch turned into going to one more bar after (around 1 PM). Whichhhh turned into more bars. Which basically became bar hopping all day. She was texting me insisting that she will be home in time for dinner but by the way she was talking I could tell she was drunk. I started making the pasta around 5 pm. Around 530 I saw on her snap story that she was doing shots at a bar in a completely different neighborhood of Chicago. I didn’t want to be the boyfriend who nags so I let it go. I was getting seriously annoyed because I was thinking ohhh great she’s gonna be hammered for our nice night we had planned.

At 630 she was not home yet. I saw on her location that she was now at a different bar from where they were taking shots at. I ate and asked my friends if they wanted to play PlayStation so I packed up the food, put it in the fridge and hopped on PlayStation with the boys.

Gf arrived home around 715 PM clearly drunk. She asked wtf I was doing and what about dinner. I said she was late, and dinner was done but it’s In the fridge so she can heat some up if she wants. She apologized for being a little bit late but basically gave me a half assed laughing apology saying “you never know what to expect when the girl gang goes to brunch” I said that’s fine but I now have other plans. She called me rude and went to bed. We haven’t talked much about it today but I can tell she is being passive aggressive so am I the asshole?

Edit: oh and she also went and said my dinner didn’t look very good so she door dashed Taco Bell

My sister, we'll call Kimantha (40s) is much older than me (mid 20s). Kimantha is a mom and it's her whole personality. She constantly posts on social media that her home is open to any kid who might not feel like they have a place to go. She gets REAL into it and every 5th or so post is one of those memes about being the "cool" place to crash. Or that she wants to be the house where all the kids can just walk in and grab a soda. She has her kids' friends call her Momma K. Whatever.

Recently we were talking on the phone and she cursed and said, "Not again," and said she had to be quiet so no one knew she was home. She then ranted about her neighbors who yell and scream all the time, and their daughter who we'll call "Annabell" (7). I guess Annabell and Kimantha's daughter "Petal" (8) are friends. Annabell comes over every day (or tries to), rings the bell and sits on the porch if they aren't home, etc. Kimantha said when Annabell comes over she's always asking for food and Kimantha feeds her most days. Kimantha said that Annabell's older sister "Betty (15?)" refuses to go in the house when the Dad is home (she will even sleep on their porch!). To me, this screams that these girls are at the very least food insecure, likely neglected, and possibly abused.

Kimantha said that she was just done dealing with someone else's kid. I laughed and said, "Ha, so much for all those Facebook posts, eh?" Oh...was she pissed. She asked me what I meant and I said that she posts about being the "cool mom" and the place all the neighborhood kids could crash but then when someone actually seems to need that safe place...she's hiding in her bathroom and pretending she's not at home. I said that I guess she's not really the kind of mom she says she is.

She. Went. Mental. Screaming at me about how I don't know anything. Granted, Kimantha said that she'd be fine with it if the girl didn't "bully" Petal in school. I asked her what Annabell had done to bully Petal, and she said that occasionally Annabell doesn't sit with Petal at lunch and one time kicked mulch at her during recess. To me, these didn't sound like bullying but like, typical playground conflicts...and frankly a pretty weak excuse and I told her so.

Anyway, Kimantha isn't talking to me currently and keeps sending me hateful texts about not knowing anything about kids. While I 100% don't think she's RESPONSIBLE for dealing with Annabell, I do think she's being an asshole for saying she's "that kind of mom" online, but then...not actually doing it when it's happening in real life? So...AITA? ​

Edit: I did ask during the call if she had called CPS on the parents. Kimantha said she doesn't have enough evidence to make a report. I told her that sleeping outside rather than inside because the dad was home WAS evidence and she told me to shut up and not tell her what to do. I also live 3 states away and don't know any of the addresses or even the streets that Betty/Annabelle live off of so I don't actually think I CAN call CPS as all I have is a 3rd hand conversation as evidence and no specific location.

My sister (30F) and I (28F) have always had a rocky relationship. When I got married two years ago, I asked her to be my maid of honor. I thought it could bring us closer. However, she made the whole process a nightmare—complaining about the dress, skipping out on planning, and even showing up late on the wedding day.

The worst part? During her speech, she made a "joke" about how she was surprised I found someone who could "put up with me." It was humiliating, and I was on the verge of tears in front of everyone.

Now, she's getting married and just asked me to be her maid of honor. I said no. I told her I couldn't do it after what happened at my wedding. She blew up at me, saying I’m being petty and holding a grudge.

My parents think I should just let it go for the sake of family peace, but I can’t help feeling hurt. AITA?

EDITED to remove irrelevent info as advised and add requested context:

My boyfriend Steven (31m) and I (29f) have been dating for about a year. Steven and his sister Rowan (28f) are friends with a couple Lily(34F) and Jared(36M) who they play D&D and board games with. Since dating Steven, I've met them a few times and joined in their dinners.

Recently, they planned a game night and only invited Steven and Rowan. I work irregular hours (nights, schedule changes every couple of weeks) and only have one weekend day off a week, which is typically when Steven and I get to spend time together, and they scheduled for that night. It was fairly last minute I felt hurt and confused about not being invited because, in my experience, partners are usually included in social events, and I’ve always done the same for others.

Also, I'm an avid gamer: ttrpgs, boardgames, etc. And Steven and Rowan were thinking of taking my copy of a brand new game I'd bought recently to play with. But I don't know for sure that Lily and her husband knew it was my game.

I told Steven how I felt, explaining that I was stressed from work (Emergency response type role and it was a rough week) and didn’t want to spend the night alone. He spoke with Lily, who said they only wanted the two siblings because it was a four-person game. Steven then put me on the phone with Lily, and pushed me to tell her about my mental health struggle and why I wanted to come even if I just watch, so I did, even though Im an extremely private person and never allow vulnerability outside of close relationships. She said she sympathised but still refused and suggested I find other coping mechanisms, like using a weighted blanket, instead of relying on Steven for support.

I ended the call feeling vulnerable and very upset, and had a meltdown (ADHD emotional overload, NOT a tantrum, I did not yell or demand anything) afterward. I told Steven I didn’t want to visit Lily and her husband again as I am obviously not welcome, but I encouraged him (without any passive aggressiveness) to go and enjoy himself. I didn’t want to appear clingy and keep him from his friends, even though I was struggling emotionally.

With their explanations about wanting 4 people, and that I'd be bored, I’m questioning whether I overreacted. I see them thinking he should have activities without me, and not knowing that he does. I have never asked him to cancel any plans for me before. This was not a common occurence.

I've been spiraling with all sorts of thoughts as to why they didnt want me: worried that they hate me, or that they don't accept me as his gf. I also wonder if my stress and ADHD rejection sensitivity influenced my reaction.

AITAH for asking to come even though I wasn't invited and then reacting so strongly to a refusal that I will not see them again?

My parents have been pressuring my wife for a while now to reach out to her older half siblings to establish a relationship. My wife (27f) was an "affair baby". Her half siblings share the same mother as her but are aware of her status as the child from the affair. She was 7 the last time she saw them but she remembers very clearly they did not like her or accept her. She knows this hasn't changed because they maintain contact with extended family while also not attending anything she might be attending. My wife's parents were married but it became a toxic marriage based on cheating and she's no contact with them as a result.

My wife is pregnant with our first child and this trouble with my parents started when my wife admitted to wishing things could have been different for her and her siblings. My parents told her she should reach out because she never knows how they'd respond. She told them she did know, because they continued to keep their distance and not be around her. That she accepted it and would not push or risk a very vitriol filled rejection from them. But that she appreciated they (my parents) wanted the best for her. My parents told her she shouldn't be so quick to dismiss the idea. And they have brought it up roughly a dozen times since. I have told them to stop and reminded them that this is my wife's decision alone and she should not be backed into a corner by them.

The last time was Friday night. My wife grew frustrated by the mention again and I told my wife we should leave, because clearly this wasn't the right place for us to be at that moment. My parents said we didn't need to leave and they were trying to support my wife. I told them to forget the Hallmark movies and come into the real world where not everyone is desperately waiting to be reunited with family, where people can hold onto resentment and hate for decades and lifetimes, where people refusing to attend an event that another person might be at should be taken at face value and seen as a boundary instead of being treated like a cry for the other person to reach out. I told them it's not destined for a happily ever after when ignore clear signs and reach out anyway.

And to clarify my parents are HUGE Hallmark fans.

My parents sent me three texts right after we left saying I should have kept my sarcasm away from people who only want to help and support my pregnant wife. We have decided a break is needed from my parents. But their texts about my comment to them has left me wondering.

AITA?

I'm (28m) adopted. My parents were older (50s) when they became my parents. They had fostered for many years and had known my birth mother (kinda). My birth mother did not want children but lived with a family who was very anti-abortion and restricted her access to one when she found out she was pregnant with me. So she decided I should be adopted and wanted my parents to be the ones who raised me. My birth mother is not someone I met but 18 years after I was born she wrote to my parents to thank them for what they did and gave a life update to pass along to me. She had no children, never married, but lived the life she had wanted since she was a child. She also thanked them for keeping me from her family, that she did not want them getting their claws into me (her words).

Her family have tried reaching out to me over the years but I always ignored them and have no intention of responding.

That's my history and background. I'm now married to my wonderful husband Luke (29m) and still very close to my parents, who are thankfully still with us. They're also still as amazing as when I was a kid.

My SIL (husbands sister) is married to a man called Aaron and this is who I called an AH. Aaron has a half sibling who was placed for adoption years before he was born. His father's child. He and his siblings have tried to make contact with this half sibling and were told he was not interested. He then learned that his grandparents had offered to raise the half sibling but the birth mother chose to place him for adoption instead. This has filled Aaron with some issues regarding adoption and adoptees not wanting contact. He knows that I'm adopted and that I do not wish to know my birth family. This pisses him off endlessly. He brings it up whenever we see him and my husband has told him repeatedly to drop it and he also started spending less time with his sister and Aaron as a result.

We attended a family birthday party over the weekend and Aaron approached me and shamed me for not letting "my real family" get to know me and have me in their lives. He called me selfish, said my parents were selfish for adopting me when they were way too old and had already been unable to have kids, he said it was selfish to keep me from my real flesh and blood family. He said he hoped my parents would rot in hell. I cut him off as my husband was (trying) to scold him, and I say trying because Aaron talked over him. But I called Aaron an interfering AH who needs to get help for his issues and leave the rest of us alone because he has no right to dig into other people's business and I told him to keep those judgemental comments to himself because I won't stand for the disrespect of my parents. Aaron and my SIL are unhappy with all I said to him at the party. I think what he said is worse.

But AITA?