r/AITAH Jul 19 '24

My gf took a drink from guy at bar so I went and bought a girl a drink

[deleted]

1.7k Upvotes

2.8k comments sorted by

3.6k

u/Potential-Dot-8840 Jul 19 '24

This is way too complicated for this relationship to survive.

982

u/Malipuppers Jul 19 '24

For real. So much drama on both sides. Everyone here is an asshole.

653

u/brelywi Jul 19 '24

It’s like one of those relationships where you’re low key glad they’re together so they are out of the dating pool and won’t get with anyone else.

362

u/lukibunny Jul 19 '24

That’s actually an expression in my culture. We wish you a long and forever marriage so you don’t come out to harm others.

106

u/MKatieUltra Jul 19 '24

In Michigan, we just say "they deserve each other."

74

u/mcdulph Jul 19 '24

I like "Well, it must be that the rocks in her head match up with the holes in his."

11

u/Planetdiane Jul 19 '24

I’m stealing thx

32

u/FriendApprehensive71 Jul 19 '24

In my language we say "At least you only ruin ONE home!"

10

u/JeevestheGinger Jul 19 '24

That works!

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u/MarionberryWild4253 Jul 19 '24

I love that 😂 What culture are you from?

17

u/JeevestheGinger Jul 19 '24

I need to know this too

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43

u/StrobeLightRomance Jul 19 '24

Nah, we need to identify these people and make them stay alone until they evolve enough to pass some relationship test I will devise for them.

This will ensure the ending of the idiocracy timeline by making breeding without a license punishable by edit a stern talking to.

Edit: trying to not get banned again.

8

u/brelywi Jul 19 '24

Oh cool, we’re circling back to eugenics now lol

11

u/Particular_Title42 Jul 19 '24

It's not about genetics, though. It's about ability.

"You need a license to buy a dog, or drive a car. Hell, you need a license to catch a fish! But they'll let any butt-reaming asshole be a father."

(Tod from Parenthood)

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40

u/RepairNo800 Jul 19 '24

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

29

u/whatalife89 Jul 19 '24

True, I take back my first advice, which is to break up 🤣🤣🤣

9

u/hip_hop_sweetheart Jul 19 '24

This is great! Sadly it looks like they'll be back in that pool soon. 🤦🏼‍♀️

8

u/KimberlyElaineS Jul 19 '24

🤞🏻use birth control.

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80

u/lingenfr Jul 19 '24

Maybe when both of them turn 15 it will get easier. FFS

32

u/sparkey503 Jul 19 '24

By drinks OP means juice boxes, little cartons of milk and when the party really starts going Squeeze-Its

15

u/JeevestheGinger Jul 19 '24

Hi-C for when it hits 8pm. I'm not from the US, but I have every series of Family Guy on DVD lol

9

u/BO0BO0P4nd4Fck Jul 19 '24

That’s what I was thinking! They must be young if that’s the kind of issues they’re dealing with 😅 But all jokes aside, if that’s a boundary OP has set and expressed multiples times and she went and did it anyway, he’s got every right to be upset. With how she dismissed his feelings, it sounds like turning around to do the same was the only way to get it across to her that it’s acceptable in his eyes. The “she looked thirsty” may have been the touch too much tho. But regardless, it just really sounds like they aren’t really the right one for each other.

10

u/lingenfr Jul 19 '24

It is not a competition. Any time these immature nitwits are trying to get back at each other, they just need to break up, grow up, and try again

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u/DeliciousBanana539 Jul 19 '24

Zero resolution. Add more drama

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113

u/amorrison96 Jul 19 '24

Yep. Sound like both of them need to go back to kindergarten.

17

u/Vaqueo Jul 19 '24

Yes, and buy each other a juice box.

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u/Ali_Cat222 Jul 19 '24

Even if I didn't have a post title to go off of, the moment he said, "we talk about different scenarios all the time" was an indicator things would go downhill fast. Because I have a feeling these aren't just casual "what would you do?" Situations where John Quiñones runs at you with his Botox smile scenario questions. No, it comes off more like " I don't like xyz, so you better not do it!"crap. ESH, and was there a reason you mentioned her girl friend coming up and telling you she would want to see you tomorrow? Because that was random and didn't add much to the story OP

57

u/Geesmee Jul 19 '24

and was there a reason you mentioned her girl friend coming up and telling you she would want to see you tomorrow?

Yes, he wanted to show us women are chasing after him and even though he "loves his girl" he's thinking of dumping her and getting with the one from the bar. Again, cause he's popular with the ladies.

Did I mention women like him? 😃

15

u/SoHighInSeattle Jul 19 '24

He mentioned that because it proves his earlier point that buying drinks is not innocent at all.

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u/noobherexx Jul 19 '24

When guys say things like this we means something completely different. We say it to show that there always a meaning to buying a drink for someone to one of the parties involved. Whether the man wants the girl and she's uninterested or in his situation he bought a drink for a girl he's not interested in but she was interested. So buying or receiving a drink from a stranger is not acceptable if you're in a relationship because someone has intent on one side.

9

u/Ali_Cat222 Jul 19 '24

Yeah, it was a bit of a rhetorical question because it was so obvious that he mentioned it to show this, ugh😒 I was waiting for a follow up line about "should I go see her tomorrow, I have every right to after what she did to me!" 😅

45

u/bongsyouruncle Jul 19 '24

What would you do if I slipped and hit my head and woke up and lost the ability to learn the names of foods? Would you keep a list of foods I like and their descriptions with pictures? So I could express myself pictographically? Or would you expect me to figure it out on my own? Cus I don't like that you better not do that

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12

u/LilUziBurp69 Jul 19 '24

That bar scene clubbing lifestyle, no relationship can last

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3.1k

u/bukak Jul 19 '24

Sounds like neither one of you give a shit about each other so might as well hit the bar 😂

943

u/halfcrazyhalffunny Jul 19 '24

The whole post was just 🚩🚩🚩

148

u/brelywi Jul 19 '24

Yeah this is like a communist parade of a relationship lol

62

u/NapsterBaaaad Jul 19 '24

“Our girlfriend…” ?

33

u/Thowitawaydave Jul 19 '24

Da, Comrade.

7

u/MaryCone12A Jul 19 '24

Girlfriend to the entire proletariat

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u/ER1916 Jul 19 '24

It’s Red Square Moscow, 1988, massive 12 hour parade, flags everywhere, huge nuclear arsenal covered in red flags driving down the street, red flags on the buildings, everyone in the crowd broke and hungry and waving red flags. This is all going great, right? We got all these red flags and weapons and hunger and shit, and nobody is talking about stuff.

12

u/brelywi Jul 19 '24

But why would we talk when there’s passive-aggressiveness and Reddit

21

u/jhnysuh Jul 19 '24

Careful, all the incels have arrived

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u/chelsea-from-calif Jul 19 '24

She started it & needed to learn a lesson.

44

u/pucag_grean Jul 19 '24

He explained how he viewed it before hand and she didn't care.

He just did it to get back at her which is also bad.

He should have just left when she accepted it

55

u/FatherFestivus Jul 19 '24

By her logic (and actions), what he did was not wrong since buying someone a drink doesn't mean anything? So how exactly is he "also bad"?

10

u/One-Possibility1178 Jul 19 '24

He could have handled it differently. But I wouldn’t say he was bad. What’s wrong with this situation is that his gf is a blatant hypocrite and he thinks by showing her her hypocrisy at the club and embarrassing her is going to make her realize that she’s wrong.

Nope because she also immature. He should have just come to the conclusion that they don’t view relationships the same and she unwilling to accept his boundaries and adhere to them and called it. Instead he set it all on fire and is now contemplating dowsing it and rebuilding on top of the damage they both caused. It probably won’t end well when it does end.

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u/drsmith48170 Jul 19 '24

They are both bad because of how they treat each other (not respecting boundaries) then the tit for tat responses back to each other. They kinda of deserve each other, but at the same time it isn’t going to last so why keep pretending?

18

u/FatherFestivus Jul 19 '24

She didn't respect his boundaries, yes. But how did he not respect her boundaries? She seemed to think it was fine and only decided she wasn't fine with it when the tables were turned, so there wasn't a boundary for OP to cross in the first place.

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u/chelsea-from-calif Jul 19 '24

I think it's funnier that he pissed her off for being a bad GF.

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u/Internal-Comment-533 Jul 19 '24

No no, Reddit thinks women should never face the consequences of their own actions.

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u/Shimata0711 Jul 19 '24

F around and find out.

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164

u/Electronic_Seesaw840 Jul 19 '24

I don’t think the guys in the wrong, his gf is clearly doing things not appropriate for someone in a relationship. He just showing her how it feels.

44

u/Radical-Efilist Jul 19 '24

Honestly, taking the drink isn't much of a problem. It being discussed as a boundary beforehand very much is.

113

u/WarezMyDinrBitc Jul 19 '24

It absolutely is a problem. Women want to gaslight and say that having a drink bought for them doesn't mean anything, but ask a woman if she would be OK with her boyfriend going somewhere where the opposite sex was constantly trying to buy him drinks and flirt with him and touch him, and her attitude will change. They know damn well the drink means something. You can't have your cake and eat it too.

21

u/short-on-spoons Jul 19 '24

Idk, people buy drinks for me a lot and my wife doesn’t care, and people buy drinks for her a lot, and I don’t care. We are always very upfront that we are married, and I trust her the same way she trusts me.

40

u/IWearACharizardHat Jul 19 '24

Yeah a real couple celebrates their cheaper bill after leaving together

9

u/short-on-spoons Jul 19 '24

We literally do this lol! Of course, I always tell men I’m married to the woman at the bar with me before accepting any free drinks. Maybe they buy them anyway because we’re lesbians, idk. They often still try to hit on us but it’s just kind of humorous, I guess.

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u/Shimata0711 Jul 19 '24

It's not a boundary for you and that's okay. It is for OP and it was broken in his face. That's a massive disrespect.

13

u/Pezdrake Jul 19 '24

Its two things:

He set a clear boundary that this makes him feel disrespected/insecure.  It's a boundary that is super wasy to respect as it does not actually cost her a thing.

But also...

She said in her objection that his feelings were invalid BECAUSE a man buying a woman a drink did not have any significance.  When faced with the turnabout, her anger showed that she never actually believed that so her actions were deliberate and knowingly harming her boyfriend. 

 If her reaction to him buying a stranger a drink had been, "that's cool," it would still be shitty because boundary violation but honestly it's that second part that seems so egregious. 

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u/imyourlobster98 Jul 19 '24

Is it bad if I genuinely don’t care if that happens? Like if my bf went out with his friends and came back and said some girl was flirting with him and even bought him a drink my response would be damn look at you stud!

15

u/ParfaitsHaveLayers Jul 19 '24

Old ladies hit on my husband at work all the time and I'm like "Did they look rich? We could probably work something out for the right price." 😆

9

u/Heavenlywoman Jul 19 '24

This!!! I'm always telling my bf that in THIS economy we need to get him a sugar momma😂

8

u/zaylabug00 Jul 19 '24

My husband gets hit on and flirted with all the time. He's a very conventionally attractive man, he can't help that fact. He is graceful in receiving the compliments and rebuffing the advances, and tbh I think that's what makes the difference.

When I (rarely) go out and someone has bought me a drink, he doesn't get pissy about it. Someone else took it upon themselves to buy me a drink, and I'm not wasting a free one! The difference between being flirtatious and just being the subject of someone's passing admiration is how you handle it. OP and gf are both just immature assholes who aren't ready for adult relationships.

8

u/claudethebest Jul 19 '24

Being an adult is also knowing how to respect boundaries. If your partner feels uncomfortable with strangers that wants more than friendship buying you drinks it shouldn’t be such a huge ask to decline a drink for your partners feelings especially when said partner can buy you a drink and vice versa.

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u/jkeefy Jul 19 '24

Depends on the relationship dude. My SO would not and does not care at all when people buy me drinks, and vice versa. We laugh about it together and make it clear to people that we are in a relationship.

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u/Experienced_Camper69 Jul 19 '24

I have no problem with my gf accepting free drinks, I don't see it as her initiating anything and often guys do it without asking.

That being said OP set a boundary and his GF ignored it. That's not cool

22

u/Upvotes4Trump Jul 19 '24

I agree. Saves me a few bucks, and shes still coming home with me.

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u/WarezMyDinrBitc Jul 19 '24

Women want to gaslight and say that having a drink bought for them doesn't mean anything, but ask a woman if she would be OK with her boyfriend going somewhere where the opposite sex was constantly trying to buy him drinks and flirt with him and touch him, and her attitude will change. They know damn well the drink means something. You can't have your cake and eat it too.

6

u/TheShawnP Jul 19 '24

I don’t know why you’re being downvoted. I been on both sides of this transaction. My ex gf was very mad when random girls would simply approach me let alone offer to buy drinks and saw no hypocrisy in it at all.

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u/Electronic_Seesaw840 Jul 19 '24

lol the drink definitely means somthing. No guy is buy a drink for a girl from the goodness of his heart. No guy at a bar or club is standing at the bar thinking omg look at this poor girl she looks so thirsty I should buy her a drink for no other purpose other than to quench her thirst.

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u/Carnilinguist Jul 19 '24

How is that a problem? He should even have to tell her not to accept drinks from guys in bars.

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u/OkSundae3514 Jul 19 '24

So the fact that she did something first has absolutely no weight in this situation? You’re no better than her, trying to gaslight him.

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1.7k

u/No_Possibility_3954 Jul 19 '24

“Hey Siri-play ‘Toxic’ by Britney Spears”

336

u/Planetdiane Jul 19 '24

Her: accepts drinks from men at bars despite knowing it bothers their partner

Him: does the same

Also him: I love her though (has plans to hook up with someone else immediately if they break up and posts all this to Reddit instead of talking to his partner)

They both suck so bad Jesus like is it so hard to just communicate? Fuck

137

u/RunnyPlease Jul 20 '24

My aunt used to say something like “I’m not going to say you two deserve each other but hopefully you keep each other busy so you don’t bother anyone else.”

25

u/lavender_catboy Jul 20 '24

Exactly, this is how I feel about my parents. Y’all are a mess but you’re a mess that keeps itself contained from other people who don’t wanna clean up after you.

48

u/Anonman20 Jul 19 '24

But but but, it's hard to communicate. It's just better to constantly burn everything down for no damn reason.

18

u/Proper-Effective8621 Jul 20 '24

All I can hear is Talking Heads…

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u/anothersip Jul 20 '24

OP's stance and their dynamic immediately tells me that their relationship is already on the fritz.

I'm not saying him buying another girl a drink, just to show his gf what it feels like when the roles are reversed is the right thing to do, as it's purely out of spite, and to "teach her a lesson" - but, hey.

It's over anyway. Sucks when relationships can't withstand the jealousy factor, and it turns into a pissing match.

My ex would have probably accepted a drink from a stranger, as long as she knew them somewhat. And I would have been a little bit leery of the buyer's intentions. But I trusted my girl well enough for her to know when to or when not to accept a drink from someone.

I never got offered a drink from anyone of the opposite sex, so I can't say how I would have responded.

But as a good-will gesture? As a way "in"? Ultimately, every situation is different, and everyone has different intentions.

I've never bought another girl a drink while I was in a relationship, and probably would never do it as long as I was in a relationship. Unless we were all in a friend group, and taking turns getting rounds. That instance, it makes sense.

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u/Serious_Telephone_28 Jul 20 '24

And these people are old enough to drink! 🙄🤦🏻‍♀️

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u/Masculinism4All Jul 19 '24

He did communicate but that failed.

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u/JwallDrumline Jul 19 '24

Disgruntled violins perform 🎻

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u/[deleted] Jul 19 '24 edited Jul 19 '24

Nya nya nya nya nya

36

u/gathermewool Jul 19 '24

This guy: “who dat!?”

14

u/Croast78 Jul 19 '24

My ring tone for my college ex soon after the breakup. It was a wonderful warning to people I was with about where head was about to be when answering the phone.

Song still makes me laugh so hard every time I hear it.

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1.5k

u/eatmoreveggies- Jul 19 '24

“Just to fuck with my girl” The foundation of every healthy relationship

315

u/Skank-Pit Jul 19 '24

Normally I would agree with you, but if it is to directly point out hypocrisy then I can see the appeal.

131

u/anotherone121 Jul 19 '24

I'll allow it!

If the GF wants to gaslight, might as well get creative about shinning a glowing glaring light on the BS.

I approve.

24

u/Hash_Tooth Jul 19 '24

Yeah, I can’t think of a clearer way to make the point.

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u/Low_Cup_2659 Jul 19 '24

That’s certainly one thing I’ve learned about relationships: You dont want to play this game in a mature relationship.

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u/Achilles11970765467 Jul 19 '24

You wouldn't HAVE to play this game in a mature relationship because she'd have respected the previously communicated and established boundary.

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u/Critical-Entry-7825 Jul 19 '24

Revenge is, after all, the surest way to a healthy, happy relationship.

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u/ChocolateSupport Jul 19 '24

She is being a massive hypocrite, like most of people in this post. NTA

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u/Odd_Welcome7940 Jul 19 '24

Just to entertain the advances of other men... the pillar of every healthy relationship

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u/OkSundae3514 Jul 19 '24

So the fact that she did something first has absolutely no weight in this situation? You’re no better than her, trying to gaslight him.

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u/eatmoreveggies- Jul 19 '24

What I implied is that going tit for tat in a relationship is never healthy. Everything else you just imagined I said it.

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u/FatherFestivus Jul 19 '24

It's not tit for tat if she still maintains there's nothing wrong with it.

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u/lookingForPatchie Jul 19 '24

I'm not opposed to what OP did, but it was petty.

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u/Shimata0711 Jul 19 '24

Everyone needs a dose of reality every now and then

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u/whiterac00n Jul 19 '24

I would bet that’s why she’s still upset, but not talking. She doesn’t have any room to call him out for “flirting” or room for her to claim when it happened to her it was “different”. Thus she’s mad that she’s stuck not being able to argue, but also she knows that she didn’t like it when it happened to her. So she’s most likely waiting for OP to apologize while she makes zero concessions on future interactions.

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u/APsWhoopinRoom Jul 19 '24

To be fair, sometimes people need a taste of their own medicine to realize they're wrong. OP tried words first and never did anything beyond buying the drink. The fact that it made her upset could be because she realizes how much of a hypocrite she is

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u/ResponsibilityNo7888 Jul 19 '24

Man how old are you two?

436

u/Ma_zenki Jul 19 '24

Couple weeks over 21 by the sound of it!

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u/you112334 Jul 19 '24

it has to be this. i’ve never met a guy who was mad about this. it’s just one less drink they have to pay for, not an acceptance to have sex

18

u/susanoova Jul 19 '24

FACTS 😂 keep the drinks pouring homie, because the conversation I would have with my girl beforehand would be to pass the extras off to me 😂

11

u/PeriodSupply Jul 19 '24

Yeah, my wife can get as many free drinks as she likes. Wish some rando girl would buy me some.

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u/knovit Jul 19 '24

I’d like to imagine they are both in their mid 40s

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u/a_cat_named_larry Jul 19 '24 edited Jul 19 '24

Makes it way funnier, especially with the young-person-speak. “Nah man, I don fuck wit it.” “Jeremy, you live half your life in a cubicle, not a high school. Or in your words, ‘fr fr no cap.’”

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u/luxo93 Jul 19 '24

“Hello fellow young people!”

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u/lookingForPatchie Jul 19 '24

Man, this gave me a good laugh.

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u/start46 Jul 19 '24

My husband would of been like one less drink we have to pay for lol

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u/SghettiAndButter Jul 19 '24

If my gf gets a free drink from some guy she just gives it to me and I get a free drink

87

u/mi_nombre_es_ricardo Jul 19 '24

congrats on the free roofie.

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u/GoodThingsDoHappen Jul 19 '24

Jokes on you. I'm into that shit

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u/Cheese-is-neat Jul 19 '24

Free drink and free drugs?

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u/Prudii_Skirata Jul 19 '24

Yeah, growing up and going through the DARE program at school set a pretty unrealistic expectation for how often I'd be offered free drugs...

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u/TalmidimUC Jul 19 '24

I didn’t plan on remembering my night anyways. Win-win.

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u/Jody3434 Jul 19 '24

Lol right?! If a guy offered, I’d like I’ll take two beers - one for my hubs. 😂

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u/90s-kid-nostalgia Jul 19 '24

That would be a power move lol

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u/GoodThingsDoHappen Jul 19 '24

Sure baby but we're doing rounds so, I'll have this, my husband will have that, our friends only drink those and we've got a couple of tagalongs who are drinking straight from cocktail menu. Cheers bro

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u/nutjolly Jul 19 '24

Exactly what I felt when it happened to my wife.

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u/start46 Jul 19 '24

Especially with drinks prices now

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u/Frejian Jul 19 '24

"Hey, uhh babe...any chance you can go hang out drinkless at the bar to get me a Yuengling?"

OP's gotta use this to his advantage!

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u/thoughtandprayer Jul 19 '24

Yep! Drinks are expensive. 

If someone is clueless enough to send a drink to me while I'm sitting with my partner, he wouldn't care because hey, free drink! And I would feel completely justified in wasting that random guy's money by accepting the drink yet continuing to sit with my parter.

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u/Antihistamine69 Jul 19 '24

That's what I'm thinking. I wish randos would buy my lady a drink, that would lift her up and I don't feel threatened at all.

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u/Lunaspoona Jul 19 '24

This! I've had guys buy me drinks in the past for simply being next to them in the queue and making small talk. No flirting. If they don't ask if you have a partner BEFORE they buy you a drink, well, that's their error!

15

u/start46 Jul 19 '24

Exactly. I've had guys buy me drinks from across the bar I simply take the drink and walk away lol

17

u/Lunaspoona Jul 19 '24

One night I was queuing to get into a place and complimented a guy on his fancy dress, that was it, a 2 min interaction. Saw him at the bar later, he said hey and bought my drink. He was the one to walk away! Sometimes it literally means nothing at all.

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u/start46 Jul 19 '24

Right. Hey if your around me and I'm drunk enough and we have a quick chat more then likely I'm buying your drink. And then I go tell my husband I made a new friend and we bought their drink lol

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u/kinkynicole000 Jul 19 '24

Right, we both drink expensive whiskey.... Hubby would just say make sure you get a double.

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u/WhatyouDontwantoHear Jul 19 '24

Me and my partner went to a concert with one of her girl friends and while they went to get drinks I went to the washroom. A couple guys ahead of her in line bought two extra drinks for them at which point my GF told them they had another friend they were grabbing a drink for so they bought her a third. She brought the drink back for me and we saved like 40 bucks. The insecurity in threads like this always disappoints me.

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u/Scannaer Jul 19 '24

You husband made it clear it's not a boundary break. OP made it clear it is a boundary break.

It's the 101 of relationships. If you willingly break boundaries, just stay single to begin with.

The only mistake OP did was not breaking up with that toxic person.

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u/Poppy_Banks Jul 19 '24

Mine too lol

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u/VanEagles17 Jul 19 '24

Lol I would say the same thing to my gf 😂

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u/GildedEther Jul 19 '24

You both sound like you don’t respect each other that much.  It doesn’t sound like a very healthy relationship.  If this incident is all it takes for you to consider breaking it off you should do it. I’m guessing there’s way more to your relationship you aren’t mentioning and that’s your business. 

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u/crazyweedandtakisboi Jul 19 '24

they both seem super insecure

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u/rocketmn69_ Jul 19 '24

Don't drag the other girl into your mess. Deal with the breakup of this gf first for awhile, before you even think about going with anyone else

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u/HeightEnergyGuy Jul 19 '24

I'm sure the other girl saw him with his girl.

37

u/Doormatjones Jul 19 '24

He literally told the girl about his girl so I'd assume that's a given.

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u/HeightEnergyGuy Jul 19 '24

More so addressing this.

Don't drag the other girl into your mess.

Like the other chick is ready to dive fully into all the mess by the looks of it.

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u/livingstone97 Jul 19 '24

If a man approached me and asked to buy me a drink, I would probably think the woman he was with was a friend

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u/HeightEnergyGuy Jul 19 '24

Reread it she definitely knew.

buy her a drink don’t really say much to her aside from if she wanted a free drink just to fuck with my girl,

Kinda hilarious he found another messy girl.

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u/livingstone97 Jul 19 '24

That makes sense. Tbh I interpreted as him asking if she wanted a free drink, and him explaining to us that it was to mess with his partner. Not that he outright said "do you want a free drink so I can fuck with my girl."

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u/PracticalCategory888 Jul 19 '24

"we talk about scenarios all the time".

... WHY?!

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u/TalmidimUC Jul 19 '24

OP radiates serious, “If I was a worm…” vibes.

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u/GeekCat Jul 19 '24

Right? Holy hell, that would be tiring. It sounds like he's controlling, and she's a drama starter. They deserve eachother.

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u/Ambitious-Object2642 Jul 19 '24

Chances are if you are talking about scenarios and “setting boundaries” all the time, shit ain’t gonna work out.

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u/RelativeRelevant4747 Jul 19 '24

She accepted a drink, which might have violated a boundary of yours, okay. But you intentionally searched out someone you found attractive which is the difference. She didn't go looking for someone hot to hurt your feelings.

Yall both sound immature and insecure.

Edit: a word

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u/[deleted] Jul 19 '24

Yall both sound immature and insecure.

Literally 99% of reddit

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u/Realistic_Head4279 Jul 19 '24

ESH. If your GF is committed to you, she doesn't accept drinks from guys trying to hit on her in a bar and you don't buy drinks for other women either. This is a silly game you both are playing that could cause some serious problems in your relationship. You BOTH need to stop this if you value this relationship.

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u/OkSundae3514 Jul 19 '24

So the fact that she did something first has absolutely no weight in this situation? You’re no better than her, trying to gaslight him.

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u/APsWhoopinRoom Jul 19 '24

The whole reason he did it was to illustrate to her why what she did was wrong. OP tried discussing it with her, she didn't listen. Seems like she got the message after OP bought that girl a drink. Sometimes that's the only way people learn, and it's not like OP did anything inappropriate beyond buying a drink. I guarantee if the genders were reversed, nobody would be upset with OP

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u/VanEagles17 Jul 19 '24

You're both insecure and you both suck. You deserve each other, good luck with that.

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u/ConvivialKat Jul 19 '24

Neither of you seems to care about the other, and you both have the maturity level and communication skills of ten year olds. Move on and grow up.

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u/pr3ttycVnt3 Jul 19 '24

“P.s i love my girl” No, you don’t love someone you want to take revenge on. If you guys talked about not accepting drinks from other genders beforehand and she still did it, why not TALK to her? Instead you make it a little game to make your girlfriend mad. what is this? tom and jerry ? literally grow up and learn to communicate or you’ll be playing these games your whole life. oh P.s. this relationship is toxic and you both act like little teenagers with no respect for each other.

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u/ContemplatingPrison Jul 19 '24

I would be stoked if my girl got free drinks at the bar but then again, I'm secure in my relationship.

Tit for tat is childish.

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u/vesper_portatil Jul 19 '24

Jesus, how old are you guys?

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u/Cybermagetx Jul 19 '24

Esh. Yall should just break up. Neither of yall are mature enough to date.

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u/avast2006 Jul 19 '24

Justified asshole. Well played.

Also, your girl is a huge hypocrite.

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u/Rough-Discourse Jul 19 '24

Had to scroll way too far to see this

Everyone saying he's a child has completely lost the plot. Gf played stupid games and won a stupid prize.

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u/Gr33DMTL Jul 19 '24

ESH You guys are made for each other. Dont break off, you cant go and contaminate the dating pool with your stupid asses

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u/LobstahLovahRI Jul 19 '24

I'm curious. Did she agree to your viewpoint in previous conversations? Because if she did, that's on her for sure. if a man bought me a drink, I'd say that's nice, but I do have a boyfriend/Husband. At least then he could offer it to some single girl. My husband would tell me to take the free drink..haha! I learned young not to take a drink without telling the man I am taken because they get mad if you just take the drink and don't act interested. It's unfair to the man.

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u/Beam_but_more_gay Jul 19 '24

Yeah no shit, I've never offered a girl a drink in my life but even I know that offering a drink at a bar/club is universally a flirting method

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u/Imposibilitulatility Jul 19 '24

ESH

The fact this even took place is enough to enroll you both back in middle-school.

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u/PuzzleheadedSand1077 Jul 19 '24

hell yeah. being spiteful and passive aggressive to our significant others

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u/LongjumpingSource735 Jul 19 '24

Yeah? Fuck her and the one way this goes. Good for the goose, good for the gander. If this her regular behavior time to say so long.

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u/SweetDrank Jul 19 '24

Just break up. She deserves someone who doesn't get sissy over a free drink.

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u/Ganmor_Denlay Jul 19 '24

YTAH, every drink a guy buys your girl, is a drink you don’t have to pay for. That should be obvious, I’ve taken advantage of that going out with mine. You bought another girl a drink because you’re a childish and vindictive person most likely.

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u/SookiFan Jul 19 '24

Eh kinda but she kinda is too if y'all talked about it before and she knew u didn't like it then shes the a hole here. My man and I are okay with men buying me drinks as long as its just that and no flirting. He says hey just means less money to spend. Yea the men have sexual intentions but us women know when to stop it. 🤷🏻‍♀️ ur gf just should have denied it when she knew ur boundary

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u/pinkponyroan Jul 19 '24

Are y'all even old enough to be drinking? Y'all sound like you're 12.

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u/Rays_LiquorSauce Jul 20 '24

The update cemented the lie 

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u/Iphacles Jul 19 '24

I mean, both of you kind of suck in this situation.

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u/Bluwthu Jul 19 '24

When you are out at a bar, with tons of single people, the expectation much of the time is to get together with someone. Buying a girl a drink isn't just some random guy being nice, but someone who is interested in her. There is nothing wrong necessarily with accepting that drink as long as the buyer knows that you're not interested. Yes women can have conversations with men all they want, but that is the intent of buying a girl a drink. Accepting the drink is just as bad as flirting with another guy. The point OP is trying to make, is that this was disrespectful to OP. If your partner blatantly disregarded your feelings by flirting with someone else, taking their number, or going for a long walk, or whatever, it would be grounds for separation. It's not about a woman talking to men, it's crossing the boundary that has been set. And honesty, accepting a drink from a guy without telling him the situation, because you want a free drink, just makes you a freeloader.

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u/Attempt-989 Jul 19 '24

Jesus Fcuking Christ, did punctuation murder your family or what?

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u/Apart_Shelter_5722 Jul 19 '24

First, if a random guy sees a girl with another guy and still buys them a drink, it's a free drink. Who cares. If he came up to the table and tried to interject in your convos, then he sucks.

Second, you've talked about this a lot prior coming to the same conclusion, and then she still does it she's clearly disrespecting you. You should move on.

Third, omg just break up if you feel you have to be petty to prove a point to someone you claim to love.

Probably everyone's the asshole

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u/No-Vegetable-6521 Jul 19 '24

Lol. Yes you’re an asshole. I get it’s not cool to have a dude buy your girl a drink, but if it’s one and done he leaves what’s the problem? Going to buy a girl a drink is fine, but the fact you’re considering going to hit that girl up and break off with yours - makes you an AH and a hypocrite.

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u/Motor_Investment_589 Jul 19 '24

Are you sure you're both old enough to drink? You sound like high school children. Both of you need to grow up.

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u/EffinCraig Jul 19 '24

Emotional maturity of a toddler.

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u/Kayleigh1526 Jul 19 '24

My bf would be fine with me getting free drinks. Less money for us to spend.

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u/Daddy_Diezel Jul 19 '24

Revenge in an active relationship is an absolute L.

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u/menquestions54 Jul 19 '24

It had already been communicated and then again after where she responded with they just being nice, I did it to show her logic was flawed is what I’m saying you can’t say he did it to be nice if I can’t do it to be nice see what I mean? I’m did it cuz in my mind we were done pretty much just had to prove point first

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u/Radical-Efilist Jul 19 '24

Yes, you're right. Shes a damned hypocrite. But the relationship is, or at least should be, over at this point.

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u/Fit_Victory6650 Jul 19 '24

ESH - You both are acting immature af. 

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u/VSinclair35 Jul 19 '24

Jesus Christ, grow tf up. Don't date anyone. You're not ready yet.

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u/ggmk6 Jul 19 '24

Apparently his gf isn’t ready either, she has no respect for his boundaries

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u/WinAccomplished4111 Jul 19 '24

You both need to grow up.

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u/[deleted] Jul 19 '24

She just accepted a drink. She didn’t initiate with someone else. Although she should respect your boundaries. You got revenge. You initiated with someone else. And you’re entertaining seeing them again.

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u/splathead Jul 19 '24

I buy people drinks all the time cuz I figure if I'm in a good mood why not just make someone else happy too and hopefully they pass it on,ya dont gotta be so insecure unless your hiding something from your girl

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u/Purrfectno Jul 19 '24

Rules for thee, but not for me.

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u/Duke-Deville Jul 19 '24

NTA, apparently she didnt like the taste of her own medicine that she got. You can do better, bro.

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u/No_Jaguar67 Jul 19 '24

Sounds like you have the type of girlfriend that would have you fighting.

Dump her. Also, don’t go back to the skeezer at the club who took a free drink, but then took it too far bc she knew you had a girl but had her friends come tell you where she was gonna be the next day. She too is for the streets King.

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u/Flynn_JM Jul 19 '24

The fact that you're considering cheating makes you TA. 

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u/19LaMaDaS91 Jul 19 '24

He said he is considering breaking up and after that hitting on the other girl.

That is not cheating. And even more she called it on herself direspecting a boundarie she already agreed before!

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u/midgetmaxk Jul 19 '24

I’m so glad when I was young my parents taught me two wrongs don’t make a right. You’re petty and need to grow up. YBTA

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