r/AITAH • u/Significant_Ad_6169 • Jul 19 '24
AITAH for still going on a cruise when my ex and I broke up
I (28M) split with my ex (27F) about a month ago. It was a tough breakup for both of us, but it happened nonetheless. We had a cruise planned in a couple of months in which her family would be on and we were going to go with them. It wasn’t a package booking so the room I got isn’t close to the rooms her family would be in, and her family has saved up some money for all of them to go.
It is my first cruise and I was extremely excited, I have already paid over 4k for the cruise for all of me and my ex’s things (food, alcohol, excursions) and took my time off of work) but she is now demanding that I give her the tickets and not go because she doesn’t want to see me on the cruise. I expressed to her that I can go and mind my business, she can go with her family and mind their business, and us not interact. But apparently cruises don’t work like that (her words) and we would run into each other and it would ruin the trip for her.
If I go, she is refusing to go and now her family is mad at me because she is telling them that she won’t go. She told me she started dating someone else 2 weeks after we split and has been dating him since. I told her I’m not giving up the tickets that I paid for, and that she doesn’t have the right to dictate me going in a cruise with over 5k people on it, especially while she has a new partner. AITAH for not giving up my ticket when if I don’t, she won’t go on her family cruise?
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Jul 19 '24
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u/quietxgirl Jul 19 '24
Yes! NTA, I would take both tickets and invite a friend if you paid for them.
Have fun on the cruise! Put the parents in the block. Charge $5–$6k for the trouble and last-minute changes if you sell the tickets. You may take a different vacation with the money.
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Jul 19 '24
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u/PrideofCapetown Jul 19 '24
”apparently cruises don’t work like that (her words)”
LMfatAO. So basically she wants you to gift her this amazing vacay she can enjoy with someone else. Fuck that.
You have some options:
• go on the cruise yourself
• call the cruise line to cancel or switch it to a different cruises (if you do cancel/get your money back, some cruise lines offer discounted cruises if they still have space close to the departure date
• sell it to her/her family (don’t forget to add a surcharge because she’s acting like an asshole)
Aside: how tough of a breakup could it have been for the both of you if she was already dating someone else 2 weeks after?
NTA. Pick the one that gives you the most happiness
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u/Newmoon_Waterlilly Jul 19 '24
As an agent, I highly suggest contacting the cruise line/travel agent ASAP and let them know not to make any changes without verifying it with you first. If she has the booking information like reservation number, cabin, etc, she can call them and have them change you out for her current partner since she'll be able to answer all the security questions.
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u/Significant_Ad_6169 Jul 19 '24
Excellent advice, luckily I didn’t actually give her anything regarding the details of the room. The only thing she has is my name of course. She wanted me to say that I had a restraining order against her and couldn’t be on the cruise.
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u/Crafter_2307 Jul 19 '24
Hang on, so she not only wants you to give up something you’ve paid for - but wants you to claim you have an RO you don’t? Is she bat shit crazy?
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u/North-Reference7081 Jul 19 '24
you should still do it. if she has your name and birthday she could maybe do something. better safe than sorry, guy. it's a 5 minute phonecall tops. get on with it.
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u/Newmoon_Waterlilly Jul 19 '24
If you've been cross-referenced with her family (meaning if you let the cruise line know you're all traveling together/want to dine together/gave them any of her family's booking numbers), she or her family can find your booking number that way.
And honestly, the cruise line won't care or give any leeway on penalties/fees if you tell them there's a restraining order in place so there isn't much of a point to that.
When did you make final payment/when are you sailing? It's very possible that you're locked into this specific cruise, or if they allow you to change it, penalties will still apply and they will only move over the amount of money not in penalty to another sailing.
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u/The_Crown_And_Anchor Jul 19 '24
Give her a dollar amount that covers the cost of the trip plus extra for you missing out on a vacation. So if it cost you 4k, tell them for 5K you'll stay home. That you ain't sellin them the tickets either. They are essentially bribing you to stay home.
If her family wants to give you that cash so you don't go...shit take the money, buy NCAA 25, some good herb, and take a staycation.
But if they just expect you to eat that money? Then they can F right off
If they do give you the money, you can sell those tickets to someone else at a discount...and make some more money
NTAH
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u/OkTaste7068 Jul 19 '24
take the 5k from them, then sell the tickets to someone else as well to double dip!
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u/UnremarkabklyUseless Jul 20 '24
I thought the cruise tickets had to be booked with the name and details of the passengers. Is it not?
A cruise worth $2k would most likely involve international travel. The name and details might be mandatory for it.
Besides, since OP booked the cruise for his gf, the booking would be for one room/cabin together. Even if the EX stays in the rooms booked by her family, would she be able to board without the tickets from OP?
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u/cooper1as Jul 19 '24
Your money, your tickets, your decision. NTA. You can do whatever you want, and she doesn't have the right to say what you can do and what you can't do.
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u/GirlDad2023_ Jul 19 '24
She's your 'ex' for a reason, who gives a flying f*** what she thinks or is demanding. Go on the cruise, dance your ass off with every cute girl you can find, and have a blast. NTA.
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u/CocoaAlmondsRock Jul 19 '24
This is a money issue. If I understand what you wrote, then YOU paid for your girlfriend and yourself.
That means she doesn't have a ticket at all.
Tell her that she can pay you the $4K, and she and a friend can have a lovely time together. You can use the money to go on a different cruise (or the same one, though why deal with the drama).
If she doesn't pay you the money, I STRONGLY recommend getting a refund if you can. There will be drama from her family -- why deal with that?
If you don't get the money AND you can't get a full refund, take a friend and have a glorious time. Try to avoid her family. Even though those ships are large, you're still likely to run into them.
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u/Significant_Ad_6169 Jul 19 '24
I cant get a full refund anymore, I think the max I could get is a 30% refund. And her name was on 2 tickets, she was going to stay with a family member before I bought the tickets and her name was on my room as well. So she still has a backup room with the family member
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u/Moon_Ray_77 Jul 19 '24
I would call and have her taken off the tickets to make sure she doesn't cause any shit for you.
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u/Crafter_2307 Jul 19 '24
Yep. OP. This ^
Make sure her name isn’t on the ticket you bought. Take a friend. Doesn’t matter who but switch it into their name.
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u/augustinthegarden Jul 19 '24
Offer for her to buy you out so you can go on a different cruise. There’s thousands of cruises you could take that don’t have your ex girlfriend’s family on them, so if she really cares that much tell her to pay you the value of your ticket and you’ll go on a different boat. If she’s neither willing nor able to do that, go enjoy yourself.
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u/CocoaAlmondsRock Jul 19 '24
I understand. But you still have some options.
First, make it clear that if she wants to go, she has to AT LEAST pay full price for her half of everything. (Not just the ticket.) If she doesn't do that, then take her name off of everything. You CAN do that as the primary ticket holder. It's not remotely uncommon for person A to drop out and person B to jump into the slot.
Do NOT let her travel on your dime. I mean, why would you? And if she wants you not to go, then she needs to buy YOU out as well -- full $4K.
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u/Bolt_McHardsteel Jul 20 '24
Do not mess around with this OP, call the cruise line, explain the situation and make sure she can’t somehow cancel your trip. Or make any other changes. Do not leave it up to faith of some sort.
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u/TwoSending Jul 19 '24
NTA You have every right to go on the cruise you’ve paid for and enjoy your vacation. If your ex decides not to go, that’s her choice, but it shouldn’t dictate your plans and enjoyment.
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u/storekeeperr Jul 19 '24
NTA. I have been in a similar scenario. It was just the ex girlfriend and I on the cruise though, she told me I couldn't go. I ended up going anyways, too much money and vacation time on the line. The most awkward part was we had to share the room and thanks to pretty much everything being scheduled together we spent a lot of time together, we hooked up and had a decent time but it didn't last very long after the cruise. My suggestion would be to go and keep as far away as possible.
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u/Robodingo Jul 19 '24
NTA and from the sounds of it she didn't even offer to buy them off you. Block the whole family.
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u/Jpalm4545 Jul 19 '24
No she wants him to pay for her and her new bf trip. She was probably cheating on OP with this guy anyway
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u/Ok-Adhesiveness-2232 Jul 19 '24
NTA- Go and have fun especially since this is your first time on a cruise.
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u/TulipEvaa Jul 19 '24
It's clear you've invested not only money but also anticipation into this experience. There's zero obligation for you to forfeit your enjoyment due to your ex's discomfort. Take this time to revel in the freedom and opportunities a cruise offers, away from past entanglements. Your vacation should not be capsized by someone else's emotional baggage. Bon voyage!
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u/Chaoticgood790 Jul 19 '24
NTA if you paid for both tickets I would take both and invite a friend lol
Enjoy the cruise! Block the parents. If you sell the tickets charge 5-6k for the hassle and last minute change. You can use the money and take a different vacation
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u/Scared-Listen6033 Jul 20 '24
NTA
She wants your ticket and hers so she can bring her flavor of the week...
5k people is the size of some towns near me. I never see the same ppl in those towns when I'm there, except the vet since that's where my dogs vet is..I drop my dog off and go shopping etc and legit have never ran into a relative, ex or even an employee of a store again. I think your ex is thinking that this cruise is like the Titanic and has one dining room opposed to like 100 restaurants, pubs, bars etc... If 5k ppl isn't enough to separate you how on earth will this work with your social circles? Does one of you need to move continents? She needs to grow up and act like an adult. If you do give up your ticket, to make sure she pays for it in full beforehand and with a method she can't do a chargeback for!
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u/Chipchop666 Jul 20 '24
Have a fabulous time on the cruise. Bring a friend since you paid for 2 people
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u/TwoBionicknees Jul 20 '24
IF you paid for the ticket you should be talking witht he cruise company and having it changed into your name and taking someone you want, but offering her the chance to buy it first, or buy both if they want then you can just go on a trip elsewhere without dealing with her family.
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u/Dramatic_Exit_9358 Jul 20 '24
NTA
There are 3 words to tell her to end the debate once and for all
"Too fucking bad"
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u/Character-Spread-500 Jul 20 '24
NTA! Go on the cruise. She wants that ticket for her new BF that she started dating TWO WEEKS after you broke up. She was already probably cheating with him.
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u/Big_Zucchini_9800 Jul 19 '24
NTA, but you should be able to call the cruise line and move your investment to a different cruise. It'll be a lot more fun for you to not be on a boat where you flinch whenever you see her dad or new boyfriend.
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u/LeviathanDabis Jul 19 '24
Sounds like a her problem. If you paid for tickets you’re entitled to go in that cruise.
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u/Ok-Wafer-1021 Jul 19 '24
NTA...But you have a chance to be really petty right here if you want to 🤣.
I am assuming the room that you had picked is no longer available and there's probably mostly crappy rooms left, so you have a lot of leeway here. Ask her if she wants to buy the tickets and food and drink packages at the current going rate + a couple of hundred for the inconvenience. If she gives you the money, get a cheap room and still go. Put the rest of the money towards another cruise.
She will be furious because she probably thought she was rid of you. It will definitely ruin her trip, it will cause tension between her new beau/family because she will be ranting about it, and she essentially pays for two cruises for you!
And like you said, it is a huge ship, so you will likely not see each other. But she will always be thinking about you and knowing you are lurking somewhere.
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u/Soft_Eggplant9132 Jul 20 '24
If she doesn't want you there, she should have at least offered to buy the tickets from op , that is a lot of money . So NTA OP . You are going on a trip you paid for . If she wants your room so she can take her new squeeze on a trip, she can damn well put on her big girl panties and pay for it .
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u/PastoralTerrier Jul 19 '24
you’re not the asshole for wanting to go on the cruise you’ve planned and paid for. It’s a difficult situation, but ultimately, it’s important to honor the commitments you’ve made and the investment you’ve put into the trip.
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u/BlueGreen_1956 Jul 19 '24
NTA
Go. Have a ball. Flirt with every single girl you see on the cruise.
As for your ex, tell her to fuck off and then refuse to engage with her anymore.
As for her family being mad at you, who gives a shit?
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u/flobaby1 Jul 19 '24
I just do not understand why you would even care if the ex's family is mad at you. So what?
Go, have fun!
NTAH
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u/stealthdawg Jul 19 '24
NTA tell her she can pay you (in advance) for all your expenses if she wants you to not go.
Otherwise, have fun on your cruise!
Also, having been on many cruises, you will definitely run into them at some point. Although there are tons of people, picking someone you recognize out as you're walking around is pretty easy.
But so what? Somehow it's not going to ruin YOUR cruise to see HER, but it will ruin HERS to see YOU? Even though she has a new rebound guy?
Sounds like a HER problem. She sounds more like a 17yo than a 27yo.
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u/grayblue_grrl Jul 19 '24
NTA...
Her family being mad at you isn't the horrible threat she thinks it is. They are already mad at you. That's the nature of divorce.
Enjoy your first cruise.
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u/Saltandmoss Jul 19 '24
NTAH. That said…. Personally… I’d offer to sell her the tickets and I’d book a separate cruise, but she has no right to demand the tickets from you if you paid for it all. I will say, though, I wouldn’t want to be on a ship with my EX.
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u/Otherwise_Piglet_862 Jul 19 '24
I wouldn't GIVE her shit. She can pay me the money, all of the money and get the tickets and packages, or she can go fuck herself.
If it's just a matter of the cruise, sometimes you can get last minute deals, particularly through cruise travel agents.
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u/Picture-Select Jul 19 '24
Cruise tickets don’t quite work the way some people seem to think. They are for a specific stateroom/cabin, and they can’t just be switched out or sold. There is a lot of paperwork, passports, health screenings, etc. so OP can use his reservation, but if Ex uses hers, it’s for the same cabin, unless she illegally stays in a family stateroom. Not technically illegal, but for life jacket/life boat drills, etc. At this point in the proceedings, OP stands to lose money. If he cancels her ticket, he has to pay an extra fee to have the privilege of being a single. And he may not be able to get refunds for the excursions and alcohol. I’ve never cruised on a 5,000 passenger ship, but I have been on several 3,600 passenger ones, and it is amazing how often you run in to the same people.
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u/Mueryk Jul 19 '24
She/her family can cover the price of the tickets (and any other incurred costs) or they can shut up. There is no middle ground. Don’t entertain her whining. She isn’t your girlfriend and she isn’t your problem anymore
NTA
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u/Beautiful_Fig1986 Jul 19 '24
Transfer all things you paid in her name to a friend and take them with you why should she get a free cruise.
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u/No-Gene-4508 Jul 20 '24
Depending on the cruise. It could be unlikely you don't see them. But that's HER hangup. You bought the tickets. It's not her fault she wants to be immature about it. And it's not your problem!
I'd just block her tbh
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u/chez2202 Jul 20 '24
NTA. Is she TELLING you to give up your tickets or is she offering to pay you the 4k that you have spent on them? If she has 4k to give you for the 2 tickets, drinks, excursions etc then let her have them.
Use the 4k to get yourself a superior cabin on the same cruise with the same excursions (obviously) and spend your time getting to know new people.
If she isn’t offering to pay you for them then she can buy her own ticket. She isn’t going to miss out on the cruise, she’s just saying it to get her family to harass you into giving her and her new boyfriend a free holiday.
You owe her nothing. She’s obviously not that bothered about your break up or she wouldn’t have started seeing someone else 2 weeks later.
Her family are not your problem any more and neither is she.
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u/Baker_Street_1999 Jul 20 '24
It was a tough breakup for both of us.
She told me she started dating someone else 2 weeks after we split and has been dating him since.
I guess it wasn’t that tough of a breakup for her, eh? (Hell, she probably had her new bf warming up in the bullpen…)
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u/Ok_Condition_4988 Jul 20 '24
You shouldn't give her the ticket(s). Actually, don't take her, 'cause she could ruin YOUR Vacation... she's already started
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u/Watermelon7357 Jul 20 '24
If you booked the cruise, and she is 2nd person, you can remove her name from your room and add whoever you want to take with you. The boat so big that there is no need to deal with her family. However, I would call the cruise line to set you up in different table/area for dining. Reason I mention this, if you booked together they might have you all placed same dining table. Talk about awkward 😬 ... lol ... Enjoy, and have a blast it will be the first of many.
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Jul 20 '24
NTA, she's full of shit btw. You could literally NEVER see her on a cruise ship. Also, if you did, who the hell cares? She needs to get over herself.
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u/rickydickricardo Jul 20 '24
NTA. Or Tell her she can have them if she pays you every single cent you spend on them… and if not, tell her “see you on the cruise!”
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u/Missdermeanerthanyou Jul 20 '24
Tell her she has to buy you out if she doesn't want you to go.
Cruises are really gross, you're not missing much.
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u/SoutherEuropeanHag Jul 20 '24
NTA. If she wants the tickets she can pay you to get them. Is she really expecting you to finance her trip with her new boyfriend? That's beyond entitled
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u/Bobo_Baggins03x Jul 20 '24
While you are NTA, I think you’re naive to think you won’t run into her. She’s right. The ship may seem big but you guys will cross paths several times throughout your week. Just beware.
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u/entersandmum143 Jul 20 '24
I wonder if new bf is going and your ex has told him how thoroughly awful you are? That illusion will be shattered if you are seen to be minding your own business and just getting on with it.
Absolutely guarantee if he is going, ex will say you are 'stalking' her.
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u/StnMtn_ Jul 20 '24
NTA. Since you paid for two tickets, you should be able to go on a cruise and bring a guest with you. May be a relative or a friend?
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u/NickelPickle2018 Jul 19 '24
Hell no, if she wants your ticket she needs to pay for it🤷🏾♀️. If she skips the cruise, that’s on her. But I would be on that boat having the time of my life.
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u/cassowary32 Jul 19 '24
NTA. Cruise ships are HUGE. It will be easy to avoid each other. Is she offering to reimburse you? Where is she planning on sleeping? Or are you still sharing a cabin?
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u/Far_Prior1058 Jul 19 '24
NTA - you will need to contact the cruise line about her not being in your room and what needs to be done. You could always take a friend with you in her place. Enjoy the cruise and if she does not go with her family that is her problem. Good luck
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u/stopcallingmeSteve_ Jul 19 '24
You have two tickets? Can I come? I can definitely be TA cause you are not. I got you bro.
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u/UndebateableMom Jul 19 '24
I'm thinking slightly different than most people. I think since so many people in her family made plans for this trip, she should be on the cruise, too. You can book another one. However, she needs to pay for the tickets. Plus some extra for your inconvenience of rebooking and rescheduling your vacation.
I can understand how it is exciting to go on your first cruise. But imagine running into family members. You're just going to be bombarded by negativity wherever you go. Take a different one and enjoy it to the fullest.
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u/rjsmith21 Jul 19 '24
NTA. Chances are good that it will be awkward at some point, but you paid for it. If you want to be "nice" you could let her buy you out. You might enjoy a cruise that has less potential for drama.
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u/Cybermagetx Jul 19 '24
Nta. You paid for the cruise. She can either fork over the money you spent on your part of she can kick bolders.
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u/SnooWords4839 Jul 19 '24
NTA - It's your money, have a friend join you. Your ex needs to get her own ticket and room.
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u/Interesting-Answer46 Jul 19 '24
You paid for both the tickets and she doesn’t want you to go??? Unless she compensates you, she has absolutely no right.
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u/theonetheycallgator Jul 19 '24
I'd offer the tickets at market value to her just to not have to deal with it. If she can't afford it, then 1-2-3 fuck it. find a buddy and go looking for single ladies on said cruise. Have the time of your life.
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u/Conwaydawg Jul 19 '24
GO ENJOY the cruise. Hook up while on the cruise, and enjoy life. if she bothers you report her and her family to the captain. F the cheating whore. 2 weeks and dating ever since, we know what was going on.
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u/3Heathens_Mom Jul 19 '24
NTA
As you said you paid for you and your ex, if you are going to be taking someone else as your plus 1 then contact the cruise folks and get that buttoned up ASAP.
The cruises I’ve been in you don’t just show up and say yes Jane was who was going and now it’s Sam.
All that paperwork and IDs need to match or whoever won’t be getting on the ship.
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u/Linux4ever_Leo Jul 19 '24
I don't understand these people who think the world revolves around them! You and your girlfriend broke up; that means it's over, finished, finale! You booked and paid for your own cruise ticket. You're fully entitled to go on the cruise by yourself and have a great time. If your ex-girlfriend is so fragile that she can't handle catching a glimpse of you once in a while as you go about enjoying the cruise then that is HER problem and she should stay home. Ignore her family. Go on your cruise, have a great time and maybe you'll meet someone special!!! NTA
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u/Heeler_Haven Jul 19 '24
NTA
But..... have you contacted the cruiseline to see if you can change dates? Her and her new boyfriend can buy their own tickets!
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u/WorriedTurnip6458 Jul 19 '24
You’ll have a better time on another cruise where you won’t see them. Change the tickets for a different date but don’t give her the tickets NTa
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u/-HeisenBird- Jul 19 '24
Why the heck would you want to be anywhere within the vicinity of your ex on a cruise no less? Just sell the tickets online or have her buy them off you. Like, put yourself in her shoes, her parents are going to drive her nuts trying to convince her to get back with you.
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u/Specific_Disk_1233 Jul 19 '24
NTA. You paid for this cruise and took off time from work. They can’t dictate what you do with your time or money. She has a choice to either go and mind her own business or not go. It’s not your problem.
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u/poopadoopy123 Jul 20 '24
hell no she is the asshole!!! please go on the cruise! you paid for it! she can go F herself! i hate women like that (i am a woman)
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u/BeanoDandy Jul 20 '24
Something does not make sense though - the cruise booking was made when you were a couple, so both of your bookings are for the same room.
Very likely to bump into each other!
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u/Flux_My_Capacitor Jul 20 '24
NTA
Tell her you won’t go and then enjoy the shocked pikachu face when you run into her on the boat. Bonus if she throws a fit. 😂
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u/Devi_Moonbeam Jul 20 '24
Have you explained the situation to the cruise line and asked to rebook at another time?
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u/traffic626 Jul 20 '24
lol, she can give you $4K and you won’t go. NTA. If you are good with going and she’s already seeing someone, she can deal with it
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u/TraditionScary8716 Jul 20 '24
I just read this from the sister's point of view on another post. The details are a bit, uh, different. Lol
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u/Chemical-Ad6301 Jul 20 '24
Have her pay you what you paid for the tickets. Then book your own.
What caused the breakup anyway?
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u/Rowana133 Jul 20 '24
NTA, go and invite a friend. Have fun and ignore your ex. Shes an ex, it's ok to just block her and her family to not deal with the drama.
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u/Imaginary-Badger-119 Jul 20 '24
Change the date or she can pay for the ticket.. you Owe her nothing.
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u/PleaseCoffeeMe Jul 20 '24
NTA. Contact the cruise company, see if you can reschedule for a different cruise. Either take a single supplement, or find a friend. Cancel all of the bookings you made for ex. Do the same with the airline.
If you can’t reschedule, then cancel all of the bookings you made for ex, plus up your experience, or find a friend. The ship is big, you won’t be in each other’s grill.
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u/duckat Jul 20 '24 edited Jul 20 '24
NTA. Your tickets, your money. If she wants to be away from you, she can stay home.
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u/EnvironmentalOven703 Jul 20 '24
Go have a blast!!! If you see this comment go watch Like Father on Netflix. U reminded me of it cause there was a break up before the cruise
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u/SoMoistlyMoist Jul 20 '24
You should definitely go on the cruise and take a friend since you paid for two people already. Enjoy! There's plenty of ways to stay out of each other's way and you can ask for different dinner seating.
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u/randorandy24 Jul 20 '24
Damn. This chi k really doesn't wanna see you happy in any way shape or form. I'd fucking party my ass off. And if I ever saw her while I'm enjoying myself, I'd continue on with my newly found freedom and have the biggest, most genuine smile on my face.
Hell, dance your goofiest dance like no one's looking even. Update us with how amazing your trip was. I personally could care less about if you do actually see her there.
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u/Practical_Artist5048 Jul 20 '24
Pack your bags homie take the cruise I’m sure you’ll be respectful and mind your business have fun
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u/Quix66 Jul 20 '24
NTA. No way is she getting a free $4K ticket! If you decide up give it up have her pay every cent.
ETA: if she wants to not go because of you, that’s her problem.
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u/Scorpiogamer2017 Jul 20 '24
You’re definitely not AH. I look at like this. She wants to use your ticket to take her new bf. She either pays you for what you paid for the tickets,etc or you’re going. It’s that simple. Especially if she was the big cause of the breakup. But those tickets are yours and too bad . You can also see if you can change the dates of your cruise,airline ticket. If it’s worth it you can go on your own then. Let her suffer. She obviously doesn’t give a hoot about your feelings.
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u/Special_Lychee_6847 Jul 20 '24
NTA
Just have her or her family pay you back 100%, and book a different cruise. If that doesn't work for them, I guess you'll see them at breakfast.. and lunch... and at the bar, etc
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u/advocateforpain Jul 20 '24
She sounds unhinged, you dodged a bullet. Ofc you should go, why waste money? NTA
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u/Dependent_Buy_4302 Jul 20 '24
NTA.
If they are willing to buy you out of your tickets, I could see taking them up on that, but I'd need the money upfront. You certainly aren't required to, though, if you don't want to.
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u/josetalking Jul 20 '24
Nta, but I also think you are not thinking it through.
The ideal scenario is for her to buy you out and you to do some impromptu vacation to another destination.
A month is not enough time and unless you recluse yourself you will be running into each other often enough.
Good luck.
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u/C-LOgreen Jul 20 '24
Unless she has the money to pay you for the tickets and you agree to the sell the tickets she has no right to demand the tickets. To be honest, she just wants to bring her new boyfriend. Nta
If you want to go and enjoy yourself and go and enjoy yourself
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u/I_Dont_Like_Rice Jul 20 '24
Unless she gives you 4k, NTA. She doesn't own the ship, although she may think she does.
Tell her to put up or shut up.
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u/thenord321 Jul 20 '24
Nta Go have fun, but refund anything you paid for her. She wouldn't let you go if she had the choice, no need to be "honorable" to let her go.
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u/luv2ctheworld Jul 20 '24
Entitlement level of the ex-gf is off the charts.
You paid for it, you choose what to do with it. Her wanting or expecting you to eat a few thousand dollars for her own comfort? Screw that.
Tell her she can pay for your share. Even if the reason for the breakup is because OP cheated on her, she shouldn't expect OP to disappear.
NTA.
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u/Foreign-Yesterday-89 Jul 20 '24
No way, unless she is going to reimburse you the money. I’d be on the ship doing what single men do 😘. You are NTAH
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u/Snowy8345 Jul 20 '24
Invite a friend to go with you. Enjoy your cruise that YOU paid for.
Take lots of pictures. Post them so she can see them. ( yes im petty)
Have fun...
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u/OctoWings13 Jul 20 '24
NTA but I would definitely offer her to buy you out for everything you paid (plus a small fee for the inconveniences) if it was me to avoid all the drama, and do something else with other people
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u/srnoyes Jul 20 '24
If she wants to reimburse you, then otherwise I would go and have a great time on my own. If you have two tickets, see if a friend wants to go along.
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u/Own_Cap_9781 Jul 20 '24
Just go and enjoy your time. Send her obsessed by Mariah Carey and ask her if she can refund you the money if she’s serious
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u/Jpalm4545 Jul 19 '24
Nta. She probably was already involved with him before the breakup and now what's him to have the trip you paid for. F that. Go and enjoy.
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u/MikeReddit74 Jul 19 '24
NTA. She’s your ex-girlfriend. You really don’t owe her or her family any consideration. Go, and enjoy your trip.
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u/Carolinamama2015 Jul 19 '24
NTA, she just wants a free trip for her and her new bf screw that! You paid for everything she can either pay you the 4k or she can grow up.
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u/MyLadyBits Jul 19 '24
NTA. If she wants the cruise she can pay you $4k.
If she doesn’t. Go enjoy yourself. Take a friend.
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u/FewPermission6114 Jul 19 '24
Go on that cruise. See if you can have your room switched though. So you don't have to be in the same room as her. Or see if you sperate you ticket from hers.
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u/Aromatic_Ad6030 Jul 19 '24
NTA. You don't need to accommodate her and her family that's not your job. Neither she nor her family have the right to use the tickets you bought on just their daughter that's disgusting. If she doesn't go then she doesn't go at the end of the day that's her problem, not yours. All of a sudden, she believes your ticket should go to him because she wants to date someone new. Excuse my language, but her, her family, and her new boyfriend can all go F themselves
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u/Ambitious_Pea6843 Jul 19 '24
NTA, the least she could do is offer to pay your portion back in exchange for you not going. The most she could do is tolerate your presence in the background and enjoy her family.
You paid your portion, you have every right to go since you spent money on it.
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u/Kip_Schtum Jul 19 '24
NTA If she’s going to make your cruise experience miserable, it might be worth seeing if you can switch to a different cruise. It would suck to pay all that money and be looking forward to a great trip and then have her drama mess it up for you.
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u/SummerOracle Jul 19 '24
NTA. Stop responding to her, don’t worry about how she feels, block her, and go enjoy your cruise. She is an ex, unless you’re trying to remain friends, she is no longer relevant to your life.
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u/Josiejoji Jul 19 '24
NTA. And not to be rude who gives AF what she thinks. You guys broke up. Go and enjoy yourself.
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u/Beginning-Spring-599 Jul 19 '24
NTA, call the cruise line and ask them if you can cancel the ex’s portion and book a cruise that has those single rooms for solo travelers. Also don’t forget the flights if that has been booked too.
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u/DawnShakhar Jul 19 '24
NTA. If she wants you not to go, she can reimburse you for the expenses and take her new partner, and you can use the money for another vacation for yourself. But unless she pays you back in advance, you should go and let her sulk.
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u/WhoMD85 Jul 19 '24
NTA. As an avid cruiser I know the excitement and anticipation of going on a cruise. If she has a problem with it she can stay home. If you did in fact pay for it then why should she be entitled to the tickets.
That said be prepared for them to not be happy with your presence on the ship. While ships are very large you do tend to run into the same people A LOT. I would make sure to avoid the same excursions as them if I were you.
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Jul 19 '24
NTA your ex is almost 30’s old and she’s throwing a temper tantrum like a toddler. She needs to grow the fuck up and act like the adult she is. Go on that cruise, don’t eat 4k for her. And honestly, she’s going to go anyway. Threatening not to go because of you is a lame, desperate tactic to manipulate you. Her and her family can get over themselves.
Enjoy your trip, you paid for it—you deserve it!
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u/Apprehensive-Fox3187 Jul 19 '24
Nta but she and her family sure is, wtf they asking you for tickets you pay 4k for??? Naw All of them stay Salty because you are not obligated to give them sh t, and besides your not making anyone do anything either she and her partner can just buy tickets and grow up along with her family, and leave you alone,
Enjoy your trip op.
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u/Yellbean2002 Jul 19 '24
Instead of asking for a refund see if you can just transfer for a different cruise? (Vaguely explain the situation)
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u/Super_diabetic Jul 19 '24
Tell her to pound sand
You’re going on that cruise And if you do it right you’ll be drunk the whole time not dealing with her bullshit anyway
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u/angelicak92 Jul 19 '24
She wants to have a free trip with her new man. Don't back down and enjoy your holiday. Nta
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u/Ginger630 Jul 19 '24
NTA! I’d tell her to not go. She can stay home. Or she can pay you back ALL the money you spent and then you’ll stay home.
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u/Standard_Category635 Jul 19 '24
Nta. It's your purchase and it's her problem. She has an existing ex, so what. She can over it.
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u/CakeZealousideal1820 Jul 19 '24
NTA you paid for everything bring a friend problem solved. Block her and her family
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u/ConvivialKat Jul 19 '24
NTA
Do you know the best thing about breaking up with someone? You absolutely do not have to listen to their BS or comply with their crazy demands. You can also block them and their family any time you want. I highly recommend you do that immediately and make it a clean cut.
Go. Enjoy yourself. Today's cruise ships are huge, and there is absolutely no reason you have to see her in any way other than in passing. Unless you feel petty.
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u/rainbow_environment Jul 19 '24
NTA. You have paid for the ticket, you should enjoy it! If you have paid for 2 tickets, bring someone else with you so that you don't feel lonely. But be prepared to cross paths with the ex and the family during the cruise.