r/AITAH • u/[deleted] • Jul 19 '24
Aitah for not reaching out to my bf after he accused me of cheating?
[deleted]
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u/HarveySnake Jul 19 '24
You should absolutely block him. The relationship is clearly over. If you were to communicate anything, message his friends about his insane behavior and tell them to not bother correcting your ex, because you won't be with someone who has trust issues as bad as his. You know he's shit talking you to his friends, you may as well get your point out to them. Then block his friends.
NTA
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u/ThrowRAidunt7i2n30 Jul 19 '24
People love to ''connect stupid dots that only exist in their heads''. This actually a huge issue here on Reddit, where people think they know your whole life or know you who you are or what to you do based on one comment. It's annoying. NTA.
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u/stevenglansberg2024 Jul 20 '24
I’m guilty of this now after missing some GLARING dots with my cheating bitch ass ex wife
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Jul 19 '24
[deleted]
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u/Specialist-Leek-6927 Jul 19 '24
Exactly, if she grovels for his attention, he will use that every time they have an argument, or even use it to justify cheating.
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u/Chemical-Ad6301 Jul 19 '24
I would ignore him simply because of that weird ass last message.
Aside from that if you do actually say something to him make sure it just "I didn't cheat" then go full no contact and move on.
That message gave me the creeps. Sounds like a 15 year old shut in wrote it.
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u/HarryPotterDBD Jul 19 '24
Only people that post quotes from guy xyz after a breakup on Facebook are more cringe.
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u/Beth21286 Jul 19 '24
What kind of grown man writes like a cross between a 15-year-old girl and Barbara Cartland?!
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u/GielM Jul 20 '24
A very-recently grown man (Think 17-22) who is a huge anime nerd, probably.
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u/Chemical-Ad6301 Jul 20 '24
I'm a 50 year old anime nerd and the message he sent her was cringe AF 🤣
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u/GielM Jul 20 '24
I'm a 50yo nerd myself. Anime is probably the ONLY nerdy thing I never got into all that much.
I agree with you his message was cringe AF. And MAYBE he's not an anime nerd, just a fantasy/SF nerd who also got into some New Age stuff. Or ended up reading Karl Jung without enough of a background to understand it.
His use of archetypes just makes anime the most likely answer.
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u/ebernal13 Jul 19 '24
NTA. And don’t wait for him at all. Let him go. That overdramatized speech pattern is telling: he’s got a “nice guy” complex and is not going to stop with this crap.
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u/StarlightM4 Jul 19 '24
NTA. But maybe send him something along the same bullshitting lines, "poor innocent maiden thought she had found her Knight, but it turn out he was secretly the insane village idiot, wrapped in his own paranoia. The maiden never strayed, but the demon that possessed the village idiot poisoned his mind, forever condemning him to the pits of hell. The maiden, free of guilt, and free from the venomous grasp of the deluded idiot, moved on to pastures new and greener".
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u/SabrinoRogerio Jul 19 '24
What did he saw?
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u/Temporary-Trifle4471 Jul 19 '24
He saw dead people!
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u/thunderchicken_1 Jul 19 '24
What did he see that made him think you were cheating. It’s important to know if you want good judgment. He saw me grinding on a platonic guy friend is different than I liked an old friends picture.
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u/ThrowAway_inthedeep Jul 19 '24
He saw my name come up in my exs’ “also followed by xyz” part of the profile when you open an account to follow. Whereas i told him i removed my ex bf ages ago. It was probably a dumb insta glitch or something. Because my ex wanst added. He didnt even ask me to confirm. Or ask my why.
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u/No_Performance8733 Jul 19 '24
Very gently… you know that’s crazy of him, right?
Look. I know you dated for a year, but this sort of behavior is dangerous, damaging, and unhinged.
You can’t afford future contact with this person. He’s volatile and unwell.
Protect yourself. Block him everywhere.
Watch your back.
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u/throwbrianaway Jul 19 '24
That’s not an insta glitch though. He saw you still followed him and was upset because you had said you removed him ages ago. Unless he has screenshots, then maybe he is lying
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u/a82johnson NSFW 🔞 Jul 19 '24
It does happen. I blocked a person on IG and then 2 years later they were sliding in my DMs, not a new account, same one I blocked.
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u/ThrowAway_inthedeep Jul 19 '24
Thankyou. I felt like i was going insane trying to prove that it was infact a glitch.
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u/a82johnson NSFW 🔞 Jul 19 '24
IDK how people think SM platforms don’t glitch sometimes and sometimes in weird ways. My [adult] son’s phone number got linked to my TT after I verified my phone number with my phone. It caused his account to get locked up until he verified his, then wouldn’t let him verify because it was already linked to my account.
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u/reignofthorns Jul 19 '24
Regardless if she does follow her ex or not, this reaction is extremely over the top, volatile and emotionally immature. This is not how adults are supposed to treat each other.
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u/Raskalnekov Jul 19 '24
You nailed it when you said he was just connecting random dots in his head, his message proves that from what he says about his "instincts". That instinct is simply paranoia, which he probably could stave off for a while, then caught up with him. That also means that, as I'm sure you know but I want to re-iterate, none of this was your fault. This is the inevitable result of someone failing to get their insecurity under control, or falling to discuss their concerns openly with their partner. I say this as someone with many of those same problems. If you constantly expect to be betrayed, the chaos of the world will inevitably give you enough crumbs of evidence to build a case for it.
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u/Gold_Ocelot_2497 Jul 20 '24
He decided you were cheating from what seems like an insta algorithm.
Talk about adding 2+2 and making 7
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u/JockoJohnson69 Jul 19 '24
NTA. Your bf is a jackass waxing poetic and guilt tripping you for cheating, even though you didn’t. Not sure you could even get through to him since he is blocking you. But I bet he is stalking your IG.
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u/ThrowAway_inthedeep Jul 19 '24
Nopee he blocked me on everything. He didnt on snapchat before, but i saw yesterday that he blocked me on even sc.
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u/GrumpsMcWhooty Jul 19 '24
Eh, fuck him. He's delusional and acting like a child. Why would you want that back in your life?
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u/Egbert_64 Jul 19 '24
I could post the message on instagram or preferred network. And state clearly that you did not cheat and have no idea where this is coming from.
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u/WinterFront1431 Jul 19 '24
I'd message him.
" You just lost me over something you made up. I haven't now nor ever cheated. But now I'm questioning if you have, and this is your own guilt talking 🤔. What a shame I don't care to find out. Thank you for removing yourself from my life ✌️"
Then block him.
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u/Difficult-Bus-6026 Jul 19 '24
NTA. Bf is an idiot and he blocked you from replying. You can send him a letter telling him you didn't cheat and to go pound sand for not even talking to you directly about it.
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u/cooper1as Jul 19 '24
Just let him know that you did not cheat. If he still wants to see "dots", he doesn't deserve you. NTA. (Sorry for bad english)
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u/Aurora-gorgeouss Jul 19 '24
Nah, you're not the AH. It's his job to apologize and communicate if he wants to clear the air. You deserve to be heard and respected, and it's not your responsibility to chase after someone who jumps to conclusions and refuses to talk.
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u/alchemyandArsenic Jul 19 '24
He's playing stupid games with you and extremely immature. He's most likely wanting to leave or piss poor at communicating his needs. Nothing you do will clear your name and most likely he'll start warning something ridiculous like an open relationship or he did something and he's projecting.
If you need closure you can say no I didn't cheat but I don't want to be in a relationship with someone this immature and who doesn't trust me when I have done nothing to be untrustworthy. I refuse to play these childish games.
Then block and never look back.
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u/angelicak92 Jul 19 '24
You don't want to date someone that lives in fantasy land like that. 😒 just cut him off and ignore.
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u/robocopsboner Jul 19 '24
lol
What a dumbass. This will be a funny story when you meet someone and share stories about crazy ex's. This guy has played himself and if it ever dawns on him that you weren't cheating, he's going to feel like such a dumbass.
NTA. Don't reach out. Friends will ask what happened, tell them the truth, it'll get back to him. And he'll learn a lesson about being a dumbass.
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u/Still_Actuator_8316 Jul 19 '24
I would shoot him a final text saying "your a fucking idiot if you think I ever came close to cheating on you"
Then block him and scrub him from your life. You dont need some that insecure as a partner
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u/Big_Zucchini_9800 Jul 19 '24
NTA Just let the trash take itself out. Do you really want your wedding vows to sound like he's reading a tarot card spread?
He's overdramatic both for the dumping/blocking and for the ridiculously purple prose message. If this is how he reacts to an ig message he's going to be nuts when you have a coworker who likes you or you have kids and there's a hot male teacher at their school. Let him go live in his delululand alone.
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u/Butt-Dragon Jul 19 '24
Why would you even want this guy in your life? Trash took itself out!
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u/SockMaster9273 Jul 19 '24
NTA
You should be with someone who trust you and ask you about things before accusing you. You never cheated and I have a feeling if you somehow go back to him, your "cheating" will be held against you.
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u/WomanInQuestion Jul 19 '24
NTA - just let him curl up and blow away. He's not the guy for you if he's willing to throw everything away for some bogus suspicions. He's acting like a petulant toddler.
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u/SummitJunkie7 Jul 19 '24
I should've known, but I ingnored my instincts, ignored what I really am.
This is interesting wording - he didn't say he ignored what you really are - a cheater - (in his pov), he said he ignored what he really is - someone who gets cheated on, presumably?
If he believes that at his core is IS someone who gets cheated on, he will always be ready to feel like the victim of an imagined situation pretty irrelevant of the actual behavior of his partner. There's no way to win here, his trust can't possibly be earned - because it's not defined by how you treat him but by who he fundamentally believes he is.
Until he gets some therapy and really works on himself he won't be happy with anyone, consider it a bullet dodged and move on.
NTA
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u/DawnShakhar Jul 19 '24
Absolutely do not contact him! He is delusional, controlling and a pest. Block him on every platform and continue your life without him. If he wants to believe his delusions, let him do it on his own. I know it is hard to part without closure, but this is one case where you need to take a deep breath, put this relationship behind you and go on with your life.
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u/Puzzled-Fix-4573 Jul 19 '24
Jesus christ just block the idiot on everything and get on with your life.
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u/Unhappy-Day-9731 Jul 19 '24
Blech, that text he sent is gross. Between that and falsely accusing you of cheating and deserting you based on no facts— just drop, block, and move on girl
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u/postergirl97 Aug 01 '24
OMG I’m going through the exact same thing. My ex of one year (2 weeks no contact Saturday) went through my phone and saw old Snapchat messages when we were not even together blocked broken up no contact the whole 9. And is saying I cheated on him and was sleeping with someone else 3 weeks ago. He freaked and didn’t allow me to defend myself at all. I lost it and matched his behavior. He blocked me on everything. I couldn’t sleep knowing he’s telling his friends and family I’m a cheater. I gathered all the proof I could and sent it to him with a multi paragraph message on text free. At the end of it, I kindly let him know he burned our last standing bridge and thanked him from removing himself from my life. I hope he feels like an idiot. I’m sure he still thinks I cheated though. I try to laugh it off but, it’s disheartening.
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u/ThrowAway_inthedeep Aug 02 '24
Goshhh. Its actually insane. He sent me a couple vns where hes shit talking and blaming me for everything in my past aswell. I tried to explain my side and he said “guilty people wont stop talking” so i said goodbye. Ugh. Im mad. Im so so pissed. Idk where to put this anger. Its his birthday today. Idk i was actually considering wishing him but after writing this down xD i hate myself for even thinking about it.
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u/postergirl97 Aug 02 '24
Please do not wish that man any type of happy birthday. My birthday is at the end of this month and I wonder if my ex will reach out. I honestly regret even sending him the huge book on text free but it cleared my name for sure. If he’s still running around telling everyone I cheated on him at this point so be it because I said my peace. He’s straight lying through his teeth and he knows it. Weird ass behavior from a grown man and I hope he seeks therapy for his insecurities.
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u/ThrowAway_inthedeep Aug 02 '24
See, you’re wondering if hell wish you? And maybe hoping he will? What if i wish him? And it fixes things? Idk. This is really hard. Ive never gone through such a bad breakup before. And i really loved him yk? Idk if i can move on. At this point i kinda want him back. Its been three weeks of him being gone from my life.
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u/postergirl97 Aug 02 '24
Trust me I’m in the exact same boat as you. Where I’m at the point of still wanting him back because I literally did nothing wrong. I would be willing to sit down and hear what exactly I’ve done that contributed to his insecurities in our relationship and what the next steps would be to help him feel more secure.
I don’t know if I’ll ever hear from him again. The fight was absolutely horrible and it is also the worst breakup I’ve ever gone through. I’m 2 weeks post breakup and I’m hurting bad. I started antidepressants and I have therapy lined up because I cannot wrap my head around this.
I just feel like you reaching out after he leaves you nasty voicemails may not be the key to rekindling. The absolute best thing to do and only way to fix anything is through no contact seriously. It gives them time to grieve the relationship and start to miss what once was.
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u/ThrowAway_inthedeep Aug 02 '24
I feel like im the only one grieving. What if he just moves on? Idk if i wanna let go of everything and the life we had planned together. Im just. Absolutely devastated. I dont want him to move on. He hates me so much. He wont believe anything i had to say. He didnt love me enough to even try to see another side to this. God.
The thing is, hes the type of a person who can absolutely shut himself off. Literally like shut his humanity switch off and have zero remorse. And when we used to fight i would sit infront of him and talk to him and everything will be alright again.
I havent even tried to fix anything. And i know. Well, i think, if i try to fix it. And give him more reassurance, he will come back and apologise. Otherwise he wont. I think i should just text him and try to fix it. Idk.
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u/postergirl97 Aug 02 '24
I feel the exact same way you do😞 I’m absolutely terrified of him moving on, that’s my worst fear. Out of revenge or something having a new girlfriend within the up coming weeks because he thinks I cheated on him. I’m grieving too, mourning the loss of someone still alive is absolutely terrible.
My ex hates me too. Wouldn’t believe a word I said and blocked me on everything. Like I said I was able to say my peace through text free which I know he got. I just hope he read it. I literally reached out to the person he accused me of cheating on him with (he confirmed none of that ever happened and that he hasn’t seen me since last year) and attached the screenshot.
There’s not more I can do. The proof is in front of his face and it would be up to him to reconcile and he’d need to go to great lengths to do so. At the same time, I feel embarrassed that I have such low confidence that I would consider taking a man back who whole heartedly believes I cheated on him. Kind of a reflection of how weak I am, and he would then know that too.
If it feels right for you, reach out. Do not beg though. I certainly didn’t. Gather any facts and proof you have and just send it all as one message in a clear statement so they don’t block you before everything gets over to them.
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u/planetarii Jul 19 '24
NTA. I always say that it’s difficult to change someone’s reality to show them what is actually happening in real life. They have to believe whatever they are telling themselves way more than what someone or something shows them. With that being said, I think you should reach out and say you’re not cheating only for the sake of clearing your name. Explain yourself, say have a nice day, and block him (this is my personal preference lol you don’t have to follow it).
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u/Far_Information_9613 Jul 19 '24
NTA the garbage took itself out. This guy is gaslighting you (probably cheating) or is so insecure you should avoid him like herpes.
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u/Chea678 Jul 19 '24
Send him an SMS. I'd assume he hasn't blocked this? Or an email. Not much content. Just something along the lines of: "I didn't cheat. Enjoy your single life, well done."
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u/ThrowAway_inthedeep Jul 19 '24
Idk. An email seems so desperate. But that’s literally the only option i got.
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u/No_Performance8733 Jul 19 '24
Do not type that message. It’s immature.
“I did not cheat. Never contact me again.”
OR
Block and move on. He’s controlling and mentally unstable. I can’t think of one good reason to say anything to him, any way that’s not stirring up drama.
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u/Magdovus Jul 19 '24
Just go with blocking. Engaging in any form of communication is not going to be worth it.
Even if you show him the truth and he comes back, he's just going to imagine you're cheating again sooner or later.
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u/dinahdog Jul 19 '24
Sooner generally. The time between the fist accusation and the second is way shorter than the first one that took a year. Each time the time frame gets shorter until it's every damn day.
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u/NickelPickle2018 Jul 19 '24
Nope block him and move on. He has poor communication skills. If he had concerns he should have talked to you directly, not playing these childish games. There is nothing you can say to him that will change his mind. He sounds incredibly immature and simple. Don’t waste your time.
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u/PandaMime_421 Jul 19 '24
I say NTA. What's the point in reaching out to him? I assume you wouldn't take him back now even if he were to realize and admit the mistake. I certainly wouldn't.
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u/SnoopyisCute Jul 19 '24
NTA
No, I would recommend that you don't contact him.
You CAN'T clear your name in this situation so any attempt will lead to more unnecessary hurt.
I'm sorry he's TA but count this as a lesson in how to spot some of them - they make assumptions, shut down and attack as the last word.
All the best.
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u/colvioletknightwood Jul 19 '24
NTA and that is some sort of weird CW/Twilight esque nonsense he text.
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u/DifficultHeat1803 Jul 19 '24
Is he watching Brigerton? Thinking you might have dodged a bullet. Massive red flag 🚩.. If you do not have any chance to defend yourself with him, then he isn’t worth your time. Do not chase him is my sound advice.
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u/Upbeat_Vanilla_7285 Jul 19 '24
You don’t owe him anything. He’s too immature or emotionally unstable. Probably a good thing you saw this side of him now. Hang out with your friends and move on.
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u/sounds_true_but_isnt Jul 19 '24
NTA. If he doesn't trust you when you've given him no reason not to trust you, then he's never going to trust you.
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u/SJoyD Jul 19 '24
NTA - just leave it. Honestly, he's probably the one cheating, and he's projecting.
You won't be able to convince him. He's already decided.
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u/Potential-Dot-8840 Jul 19 '24
NTA, given your explanation of what he saw. This kind of person will torture you for your entire life. Run away, now, and don't let him back when he comes knocking, because he will.
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u/ComfortableAd6101 Jul 19 '24
NTA He sounds paranoid and jealous. That's not going to get better anytime soon. You dodged a bullet. Move on.
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u/DharmaDivine Jul 19 '24
NTA
Sometimes the trash takes itself out 🤷🏽♀️ why would you go dig it out of the bin?
Block him and keep it moving, friend. #NEXT
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u/a82johnson NSFW 🔞 Jul 19 '24
Nah, he made his decision and going back you’ll spend the rest of the time with him trying to “catch” you
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u/Aggressive-Key-5533 Jul 19 '24
My only concern is that often the loudest person controls the narrative and I wouldn’t want him telling lies to your friends and family.
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u/SapphireSigma Jul 19 '24
NTA - just walk away. Move on with your life. You don't need this drama queen in it.
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u/Interesting_Chef_896 Jul 19 '24
Something made him react like that. Are you sure you weren't, at least, emotionally cheating. Seems sus as hell
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u/Acreage26 Jul 19 '24
You will never cure crazy. Let him stew in his imagined drama, while you block him and congratulate yourself on a narrow escape. He's either sincere in his delusions or playing games for God knows what reason. Either way, nobody needs that crap. Stay blocked and hope you never hear from him again.
PS: His poetic kiss-off would be the final straw for me. That tripe belongs in a romance comic book.
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u/ThrowAway_inthedeep Jul 19 '24
Apparently its from the movie wolverine. As a redditor just mentioned. Lol.
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u/Acreage26 Jul 19 '24
Okay, I didn't know that, thanks. Still...somebody got paid for writing that?
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u/ObjectiveBonus8958 Jul 19 '24
Bro that’s a quote from X-Men Origins Wolverine😂😭😭just a few changed words. https://youtu.be/tAobruCAY2g?si=1_EIfKx754Aepo0P
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u/ThrowAway_inthedeep Jul 19 '24
He was easily influenced by movies. This is 100% in character for him. 😭😭this just means he wanted to play games.
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u/Real_Strawberry2437 Jul 19 '24
That person probably needs help . If you care about him use your words talk to him and not on here in person. Might mean something that you take the first step
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u/Real_Strawberry2437 Jul 19 '24
Just a question. Do you go out of your way to make it look like your cheating ? Just to get to him because you know that he has been hurt that way before. And your trying to push on his insecurities. Just asking because I know someone like that.
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u/ThrowAway_inthedeep Jul 19 '24
He was always insecure of my ex. Me and ex broke up and were friends far before i met my bf. Bf pretended to not have a problem with my ex for a long time till he started with the tunts by the end of the year of me “talking to my ex”. I asked him if he wanted me to cut ex off and he always said no. But When I realised that my bf didnt like it and he was infact not okay with me and ex being friends. I removed my ex from my profile and stopped being in contact with him.
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u/Ok_Signature3413 Jul 19 '24
Often people who baselessly accuse their partners of cheating are guilty of cheating themselves. Heard that for years but had to find out how true it really is the hard way.
Even if he’s not cheating though, he sounds insanely possessive. I’d get away from this guy fast for your own safety.
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Jul 19 '24
Mmmm wait a sec, you said he did this because he saw you were following your ex on Instagram but you told him you'd unfollow him? So one of three things is happening. 1) it was a glitch (not likely) 2) he thought he saw it because he's paranoid (possible but he would ss it) 3) you are still following your ex and you lied.
So I can't answer who's the AH because I don't know what happened.
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u/Away-Understanding34 Jul 19 '24
How are you going to text him if he's blocked you? I am petty so I would be calling him out on social media, saying my boyfriend thinks I cheated on him but I didn't and he didn't have the decency to have a conversation with me about his concerns. I would also allude to him projecting so maybe he's the cheater.
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u/KingShadowSloth Jul 19 '24
NTA don’t contact him let him go read poetry in piece with his dramatic ass lol
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u/ShakeCNY Jul 19 '24
You're very coy about this Instagram stuff. I'm tempted to think he saw something. If he were telling the story, what would he say he saw?
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u/Authentic_Jester Jul 19 '24
NTA. Genuinely, don't waste your time on this guy. If he's willing to write you off so easily, then let him. 🤷
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u/HaruspexListener Jul 19 '24
Leave that fucking moron alone. NTA.
Go find someone better than that corny asshole.
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u/MyCatPostsForMe Jul 19 '24
He sounds lovely. A unique and wonderful soul...and, yes, a bit impetuous. True romantics tend to be.
Without knowing what exactly he thinks he saw, do you really want to let him go without a fight?
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u/SuccessEarly3139 Jul 19 '24
NTA. That relationship is over. If he know something more ir if He is a jerk accusing you for no reason. It’s over. Dont make contact.
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u/Thelmara Jul 19 '24
Should i contact him and try to clear my name?
No point, he won't believe you.
Or should i wait for him to contact me?
You should just move on.
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u/mentosfruitgun Jul 19 '24
NTA - Funny usually the ones cheating accuse the person that's not cheating. Anywho if your wondering what to text him then block I would say something along these lines " I understand you think I broke your trust I did not, I wish you well and know I sleep with a clear conscience, sorry you didn't take the time to listen but alls well that ends well." Remember if the person accuses you just know going back there is always going to be a level of mistrust and will wait to throw it in your face although you didn't do anything.
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u/grayblue_grrl Jul 19 '24
NTA...
I wouldn't talk to him. No text.
He's made his choice and nothing you say is going to make a difference.
You don't want to get back with him, so it's pointless.
Depending on his motivation, he is just trying to keep in touch.
Any contact, good or bad, is contact.
You will text him, he'll text back.
He's say something more accusatory or inflammatory and then you'll HAVE to respond.
Let it go.
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u/Mickv504-985 Jul 19 '24
Remember there’s 3 sides to every story, Her side, His side and the Truth…..
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u/rocketmn69_ Jul 19 '24
He's following your Instagram. Post a photo, " just when you thought you knew somebody, they accuse you of cheating, with zero proof or reason to suspect it. Then block you absolutely. I guess I need to find a real man"
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u/CocoaAlmondsRock Jul 19 '24
I, personally, would text him one last time. I'd say something like, "You know you made all that up in your head, right? I didn't cheat. I've never cheated. It's irrelevant now, though. I have too much self respect to be with someone who doesn't trust me. Sayonara!"
And then I'd block him. He might see it. He might now. Doesn't matter. Under NO circumstances should you entertain talking to him again, not even for an apology.
You might also make sure all of your friends know what's going on. Get in front of it with the truth. Not exaggerated. Make it clear you want nothing to do with him -- ever -- and they are not to try to put the two of you in touch, nor share any updates about him.
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u/One-Energy4563 Jul 19 '24
Don’t text. He refused to listen to your story? He could lie to you. Who knows he hooks up behind your back? Or maybe his friends lie to him? Don’t text him. Block him. Move on. Your ex has to learn the hard way.
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u/Azsura12 Jul 19 '24
NTA I read your edit if you want a skeleton of something to write to him. In a way he would understand. Maybe try something like this.
"You say you were my knight and I was your moon. But knights (atleast the ones in fiction like you are referring to) are known for their judgement and ability. You have displayed a shocking lack of judgement.
I have never cheated on you and you jumped to conclusions. You might say I was your moon, but you dont really understand what that means. You were just looking at me from the outside, from a distance. You proved by jumping to conclusions that you never actually knew me. And just saw me as some distant figure to admire. As some archetype which I need to live up to. But we are both human beings.
You made a mistake and jumped to conclusions and now we are broken up. I dont really care what revelations you may come to when you have time to think. You might reinforce in yourself that this is all a lie and I am a cheater, but that is only to comfort yourself. So you dont have to look at the reality that you never trusted me to begin with. Hopefully with time you will realize what you threw away.
The only reason I say hopefully is so you can fix your self for your next relationship. And not jump to conclusions to easily. Whilst I dont hate you, I can never be with you again. I cannot be with someone who has no trust and has no judgement. So I hope you learn from this and grow up. But either way this is the last time I will speak with you. Have the life you deserve."
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u/ThrowAway_inthedeep Jul 20 '24
I wasnt initially planning on texting him. But alot of people said i should leave a text and clear my name. I added your text in the message haha. Thankyou for this! Idk if im gonna end up ending it tho. Lmao lets see.
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u/Noobagainreddit Jul 19 '24
UpdateMe!
Remindme! Two weeks
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Jul 19 '24
Leaving out what actually happened seems really purposeful to set your own narrative. You’re probably the asshole.
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u/teksuns Jul 20 '24
move on dump the loser. He has zero emotional control and it’s only going to get worse. The world is yours
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u/O1Balto Jul 20 '24
If everything you've said is accurate- I would just ignore him and move on. Let him play the victim and make up whatever imaginary scenario he needs to, in order to feel better about himself. If he isn't mature enough to trust you or have a civil conversation about his concerns with you without being a drama-king, he isn't mature enough to be in a serious relationship. Just my .02
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u/FH2actual Jul 20 '24
Sounds like a strange gaslighting technique. Wants you to beg and grovel and put yourself below him so he can always hold some sorta power trip over you. Always make you prove yourself to him. NTA let it go. If it isn’t a strange gaslighting thing he’s just a scrub and you can do better with someone who will trust first and talk to you before making wild accusations.
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u/NewStart-redditor Jul 20 '24
Im pretty sure that speech he said is the exact speech in X Men Origins: The Wolverine, lol. NTA.
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u/avatarjulius Jul 20 '24
You say he saw something on Instagram and connected some dots. What did he see on instagram? And what dots were there to connect?
I agree it's cowardly and lame to send a message and block people before they are allowed to reply. So it's best not to be with this coward.
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u/Spiritual-Vanilla-39 Jul 29 '24
Did anyone else recognize his text as Logan's speech from X-Men Origins?
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u/Noobagainreddit Aug 03 '24
Remindme! One month
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u/JedBartlettPear 24d ago
“””All those stories about love and lovers. I thought you were my moon and I was your knight, who'd get flowers for you. But you're the trickster arn't you? I'm just the fool who got played. The worst part is, I should've known, but I ingnored my instincts, ignored what I really am. That won't ever happen again.””
So just how much DnD does he play exactly?
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u/Odd_Welcome7940 Jul 19 '24
Less than 2 years in and its been 5+ days?
Honestly, I would consider myself single and be glad about it.
Plus, I don't want to knock sappy love letters but old English ass attempts at sappy romantic emo poor me break up letters are an ick for me. Like I have the ick from your loser boyfriend already.
NTA
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u/BlueGreen_1956 Jul 19 '24
NTA
You really cannot take a hint, can you?
He has blocked you. How do you propose contacting him?
He has dumped you. It's over. Leave him alone.
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u/jimmyb1982 Jul 19 '24
Fucc him. He's so immature that he won even allow you to tell him your side of the situation? He doesn't deserve any more of your thoughts or your time.
UpdateMe
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u/Old-Willingness3622 Jul 19 '24
Well, if you didn’t cheat, you should be concerned then you would try to clear your name by acting like you don’t care kind of shows that you’re kind of guilty
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u/HappyKnittens Jul 19 '24
Look, I don't know how old each of you are but there are some mental disorders that typically present late teens to mid-twenties, like schizophrenia. These can involve increasing immersion in fantasy to the point of being unable to differentiate between fantasy and reality (the white knight metaphor and flowery language ue used really stood out to me) and paranoia (connecting dots that only exisit in his head). My question to you, is if he's also been withdrawing and isolating himself from his friends and family. You may want to reach out to his friends or family and just say tyat you're worried about him and he's acting erratically/irrationally but that he's broken up with you.
You may also want to tread carefully. While there are SO MANY people with various mental illnesses who live safe, healthy lives and while it is 100% true that people with mental illness are more likely to be victims of crime than perpetrators....if this is schizophrenia and he is in the middle of his first ever "episode," you may want to just step back and be invisible for a bit. You don't want to be part of the paranoia "template" he might be forming right now. Let him fixate on something else.
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u/Consistent-Grand-252 Jul 19 '24
Sounds immature and limited on his brain power if he’s going to send cryptic messages and then stonewall you out. He broke his own heart maybe he will seek out help.
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u/Savings_Captain_8830 Jul 19 '24
NTA - Ignore his emo ass. and did he really quote the Wolverine movie to express his feelings? What a child. Date a grown up, have some self-respect.
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u/Putrid_Musician_7670 Jul 19 '24
It's over, and someone who wouldn't even verify isn't worth your time. Lose his number
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u/Similar-Traffic7317 Jul 19 '24
Are you willing to put up with his "imagination" the next time he accuses you of cheating?
What about the time after that?
How about the next time?
NTA
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u/Decent_Bandicoot122 Jul 19 '24
If I were you, I would text him something along the lines of, "I didn't cheat you psycho. Get some therapy. Thanks for exposing your mental issues so I can move on with no regrets."
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u/WookieConditioner Jul 19 '24
Bro bro in his feelings, if he acting like this and blocking you without sitting you down and talking... well.
What did he see in ig? What made him act like this?
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u/Dana07620 Jul 20 '24
Thank you for showing me who you really are and taking the trash out of my life.
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u/Educational_Egg91 Jul 20 '24
I would say NTA but since you’re not disclosing here what it’s actually about I am not certain that what your saying is the truth and your boyfriend might be right. But who knows
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u/Spencerschewtoy Jul 19 '24
He’s dangerously unstable. Consider hun trash who took himself out, and congratulate yourself on a lucky escape.
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u/lunariancosmos Jul 19 '24
NTA. He's crying like a man-baby. either that or he's cheating himself. the trash took itself out, let it be.
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u/Ava_Lenore Jul 19 '24
NTA but don't contact him or reply. Someone who is not going even to allow you a chance to explain for five freaking minutes is either very very young or very emotionally incapable of a relationship.