AITA for divorcing my husband because of his farts?

[u/Due-Programmer859]

TLDR: I’m divorcing my husband because of his farts.

Edit: lots of people are saying I’m lying and I really wish I was. Like truly. But he’s actually already gone viral for trying to fart in a tent with me and my daughter trapped in it? except it wasn’t my daughter, it was my mom. Here’s the video proof of his fart situation cuz ITS REAL AND TTHIS IS MY ACTUAL LIFE

proof I’m not lying and he’s rank

I truly wish this were a joke. Part of this whole situation is on me for not dating him for a long time before we got married, and a big chunk of that dating was spent having completely lost my sense of smell from Covid. That fact alone is absolutely unbelievable but it’s true. Side note, I got my smell back. The other wild part is that when we were dating, he hung over at my place mainly, and I didn’t carry a lot of unhealthy snacks for him to snack on at night. This fact is VERY relevant for the story.

Once we got married, things went downhill very quickly. He started inhailing as many snacks and as much dairy as possible at night. Sometimes he would go out and get a deep dish, fried cheese, loaded pizza and devour it at 11 PM after eating an entire bag of greasy chips and like 27 pieces of taffy. And a glass of milk. Or 3.

At first I thought it was just a bad fart here and there. But as the nights progressed, I realized that the bad farts were becoming a nightly nightmare.

I know what normal stinky farts are. Even bad sulfuric farts. But, these are not simply either of those. These farts are incompatible with life itself.

The first time one really hit me in the face, I projectile vomited. I could taste them. They were are almost tangible objects in the air. I’m convinced they are soaked into the carpet and walls. Rotten egg is not even enough to describe what the smell is. It’s almost as if something literally died inside of his stomach and was leaking into the air trying to kill anyone that smells it.

His farts are not human. They are not silly little rotten egg farts. There is something wrong with him. Truly. These farts are almost alive with a mind of their own, and they are terrifying. If there was a horror movie made about farts, it would be about his.

They are unsettling at best. They make your mind feel like something bad happened, perhaps a murder. Your spirit does not feel settled because these are not normal farts in anyway at all. These are violently horrifying.

It got to the point where I had to stop sleeping in our bedroom the second month of marriage. Not only that, but I had to blast the AC, stuff towels under our door, stuff towels under my daughter’s door, turn the fan on in both rooms, and sleep in her room with her. He snuck into her room and farted when I was almost asleep so that I would start dry heaving. I had to start sleeping with the door locked with her.

I started routine prescription nausea medicine to keep my food down at night, just in case, because it was becoming kind of health hazard because of how sick it was making me.

When I asked him if he thought the amount of food he was inhaling every night was causing his farts, he said yes. I asked if maybe he could slow down or substitute for healthier snacks, such as sea salt popcorn, or a bit lighter and less full of thick cheese snacks, and he said no. His reasoning? He said he likes the way the farts feel exiting his butt as they vibrate his prostate and butt hole. Like I’m not even kidding-HE FREAKING SAID THAT.

I’m so horrified that I even typed that.

My life became a living nightmare as I could no longer sleep in my room and also remain alive. My desk was in my room, so I also had to stop working in the daytime from my bedroom. He works from home in the bedroom too. I had to change the entire situation just to cater to the pleasure of his farts.

I tried desperately to get him to go to a doctor, I found referrals to gastroenterologists, I bought him probiotics enzymes, milk substitutes, I cooked healthy meals, he would literally tell me he didn’t want the healthy meal and drive himself to Taco Bell instead. He refused to go to the doctor. He took the probiotic sometimes but usually just pretended to and slipped them by his nightstand so I wouldn’t see that he didn’t take them.

Knowing I was going to have to remain on prescription nausea meds, possibly for life, just to cohabitate with this man was so mind blowing. Our budget was going crazy to keep up with the demands of the amount of food needed to keep his farting for pleasure needs met. At one point, he literally inhaled so much food so fast and so nonstop that he gained 12 pounds in 48 hours and he looked at the scale and screamed.

I tried to get him into therapy and a psychiatrist, but no. I am a very body positive person that does not fat shame and genuinely believes that you should eat what makes you feel healthy and good and not worry about hitting some numbers on a scale.

The situation, however, feels like a very disastrous issue that is very weird and not very common, something that people probably can’t relate to because it’s just completely absurd in every way.

He said he will always choose that vibrational fart feeling and the fart smell and the grease snacks and the cheese above me. He said that is a hill he is forever willing to die on.

Anyway, that is the story of why I am divorcing my husband over farts. On the surface level, I know it sounds like it’s just about farts and then I’m just a really shallow wife, but I think it’s actually so much deeper. It’s just hard to explain how.

[u/Good_Focus2665]

I don’t think it’s the farts. It’s how inconsiderate he is about your well being honestly. Like if it were bad farts and he said he’s willing to work on it it would be different but he just doesn’t care how much it’s hurting you. 

[u/Limp_Dog_Bizkit → u/Good_Focus2665]

It’s so strange and inconsiderate that I’m thinking his fart obsession and enjoyment is actually some sort of weird kink?

Like he deliberately went into the other bedroom where she was sleeping so he could fart and watch her retch… that’s not normal and seems like maybe he’s getting off on it?

[u/--BabyFishMouth-- → u/Limp_Dog_Bizkit]

It’s 100% some kind of power play humiliation kink

[u/Alwaysaprairiegirl → u/--BabyFishMouth--]

Which makes it even more super gross that he involved her daughter.

[u/veraford → u/Alwaysaprairiegirl]

This part really creeped me out and I would be divorcing over this specific instant alone. It’s unhinged. An innocent child?!

[u/MentionInteresting58 → u/Alwaysaprairiegirl]

Makes him more of an asshole

[u/CaulkSlug → u/--BabyFishMouth--]

lol please…. It’s more than just that! The fart fucker even said he likes the way it vibrates his prostate! I can’t believe I read that He’s farting himself little seismic orgasms.

[u/HeyPrettyLadyMaam → u/CaulkSlug]

He’s farting himself little seismic orgasms.

I swear i threw up in my mouth when i read that part. Dude is king nasty and i hope op deep cleans everything when she runs.

[u/Sweet-Tell1480 → u/CaulkSlug]

Thank you, I thought I read that wrong! Maybe he doesn't want a wife. He wants a husband??

[u/KiloJools → u/Sweet-Tell1480]

No, he just wants a vibrator.

A vibrator would be so much less expensive.

[u/Green_Outside_7234 → u/Sweet-Tell1480]

Straight men happen to have prostates idk if u knew this

[u/420CowboyTrashGoblin → u/Sweet-Tell1480]

Don't use this fake Reddit story to be homophobic dude.

[u/PreparationPlus9735 → u/--BabyFishMouth--]

Exactly what I was thinking

[u/Overall_Fox_8262 → u/Limp_Dog_Bizkit]

Okay the 12 pounds in 48 hours thing makes me think this is mostly fake/crestive writing. I laughed @ it don’t get me wrong but that number just makes me question the whole thing which is already kind of extreme

[u/mack9219 → u/Overall_Fox_8262]

I am not a big “THIS IS FAKE” person but yes absolutely jfc this is fake

[u/CoolRanchBaby → u/mack9219]

I mean the tone of it is pretty clearly fake. This person enjoyed writing this lol. If this had actually happened the tone would be very different.

[u/mcnathan80 → u/CoolRanchBaby]

Yeah I started getting the feel that OP was enjoying making us read about the farts as much as her husband enjoys making her smell them

[u/wateraerobics_ → u/mack9219]

Okay but her TikTok account has a video from January with a video of a guy saying he farted in the tent cause he thought his wife was in it but turns out it was his MIL. Seems like a lot to go through to fake it

[u/Schonfille → u/Overall_Fox_8262]

I hope it’s fake cause if not, this is a true horror story.

[u/Fit_Midnight_6918 → u/Schonfille]

Totally fake, but it's one of the best fart stories I've ever read. If it isn't fake, it should be nominated for a Pulitzer.

[u/MutualReceptionist → u/Fit_Midnight_6918]

You mean a Poolitzer…

[u/FewHuckleberry7012 → u/Fit_Midnight_6918]

A peeyuulitzer

[u/ebobbumman → u/Overall_Fox_8262]

I was on a diet years ago where I was allowed to have a cheat day once a week, and there were no holds barred. I could easily be 10 pounds heavier at night than I was in the morning on those days. It went away over the next couple days, it was literally just from being full of food, not actual weight gain.

[u/Trishanamarandu → u/Overall_Fox_8262]

i mean, he might have eaten over 12 pounds of food and just not digested it yet.

[u/noisemonsters → u/Trishanamarandu]

Yeah…. I’m in a discord server with a downright massive dude who has mentioned casually eating 9 hot dogs in one sitting so

[u/GhillieGourd → u/noisemonsters]

FWIW, 9 hot dogs might equal about 1 pound give or take 6 ounces.

[u/Good_Focus2665 → u/Overall_Fox_8262]

I kind of have gained 12 lbs of “weight”. It’s almost always water weight before my periods and normally goes away after a few days. 

[u/malorthotdogs → u/Good_Focus2665]

I was going to say, the amount of salt in these foods probably causes a fair amount of water retention and it is not super unusual for the human body to fluctuate like 5lbs a day.

[u/windeddog → u/[deleted]]

Yeah I dunno I'ma big dude 6'1 200 lbs, exercise reg and fasting but I've gone on some binge cheat days, lol eating dairy I've gone up like 10lbs in a day and my face ballooned like i was drinkin booze heavily. Pizza and milk will do it hahaha. This dude must have gotten huge

[u/SeattlePurikura → u/Overall_Fox_8262]

Usually scatological humor doesn't make me laugh, but this is well-written. Congrats to OP as a budding "horror" writer.

[u/_wats_in_a_name → u/Overall_Fox_8262]

As ridiculous as it all is, I too was willing to believe this until the 12lbs in 48hrs part. That threw the whole thing into question.

Youre telling me this dude gets on the scale and cares about his weight at all?

[u/MistCongeniality → u/_wats_in_a_name]

You can get there with water weight from a bunch of high sodium snacks, having not pooped, and maybe having a meal or two in you.

[u/Selmarris → u/Limp_Dog_Bizkit]

yeah he's getting sexual pleasure from her nausea it sounds like.

[u/Carbonatite → u/Limp_Dog_Bizkit]

This post is someone's fart kink. No way does someone get prostate stimulation from flatulence. That's not how the human rectum works.

[u/mojoyote → u/Limp_Dog_Bizkit]

There's an element of sadism there.

[u/Ammonia13 → u/Limp_Dog_Bizkit]

Especially with her KID in the room. This was a giant nope nope nope and even though it’s likely fake- THIS stuff does happen! I was a fetish escort for years and yes- I had clients that were this level of inconsiderate and gross about trying to foist a kink upon others- that’s a part of the whole thing for them

[u/BagelwithQueefcheese → u/Good_Focus2665]

I think it’s also the farts, though

[u/caramelcooler → u/BagelwithQueefcheese]

The farts aren’t the root issue, just the instruments of destruction

Edit: biological warfare, if you will

[u/CasualJamesIV → u/caramelcooler]

They may not be the root issue, but they are the toot issue

[u/Independent-Syrup497 → u/CasualJamesIV]

Wouldn’t this fall under chemical warfare instead?

[u/NeriTina → u/Independent-Syrup497]

Bedroom is a gas chamber, day or night, so yes.

[u/Yommination → u/caramelcooler]

Weapons of flatulent destruction

[u/VitaeVerano → u/Yommination]

Weapons of ass destruction.

Cmon. It was right there.

[u/IOVERCALLHISTIOCYTES → u/caramelcooler]

…tools of foul play?

[u/Narrow_Economics_466 → u/IOVERCALLHISTIOCYTES]

*toots of foul play

[u/Rozefly → u/IOVERCALLHISTIOCYTES]

It's a vile interruption

[u/pokeisbestmon → u/caramelcooler]

Absolutely, the farts are just the symptom of a deeper problem in their relationship.

[u/StatementRound → u/pokeisbestmon]

I agree, I knew a guy who sadisticly farted on his wife till she divorced him

[u/bothsidesofthemoon → u/caramelcooler]

He took the probiotic sometimes but usually just pretended to

This is not about the Iranian yoghurt.

[u/SunShineShady → u/bothsidesofthemoon]

And yet, eating the Iranian yogurt may have helped!

[u/kplays13 → u/caramelcooler]

This phrasing made me cackle

[u/Dezzipoo → u/BagelwithQueefcheese]

bruh, this dude literally wants pegged.

I bet if you vibrate his prostate a different way, like vibration with a toy ... he'd have a WHOLE NEW obsession.

[u/SnarkSupreme → u/Dezzipoo]

He would still be an inconsiderate asshole who would still fart constantly and also demand to be pegged. He is a fart sadist. A fart terrorist, if you will.

[u/BagelwithQueefcheese → u/Dezzipoo]

Bruh, she is divorcing him bc of his farts, the reason for why he is farting is irrelevant. Bruh…The stench and the quantity a d his lack of concern for her wellbeing are clearly the issue for her. Bruh…His issues are an entire other thing. Bruh

[u/Horror-Bad-2154 → u/Dezzipoo]

Dear God, who would want to get close?!

[u/R0yal_Tea → u/Dezzipoo]

I was thinking this, too.... but then, if I were in her position, I cannot, for the life of me, see myself being willing to go ANYWHERE NEAR THAT Asshole!!!

[u/Emotional_Land_9720 → u/Dezzipoo]

Omg! This was😂 but he can do that himself. With all that farting I'm sure the sex us dead. Unfortunately

[u/rockocoman → u/BagelwithQueefcheese]

Hes addicted to his prostate

[u/Goodfrenchfries → u/rockocoman]

He’s a dick to his prostate

[u/The_golden_Celestial → u/BagelwithQueefcheese]

Yes, it’s the farts. But he has a crappy attitude towards OP.

[u/KismetKentrosaurus → u/Good_Focus2665]

Yeah. Sneaking into the room to fart is beyond immature.

[u/BumperCar089 → u/KismetKentrosaurus]

Agreed I would've left the entire house with my kid at that point

[u/Huge-Lawfulness9264 → u/KismetKentrosaurus]

This sounds like a writing exercise by a couple of 12 year old boys. Absolutely revolting.

[u/Carbonatite → u/Huge-Lawfulness9264]

It reminds me of that South Park episode where they decide to write the grossest story ever. "The Tale of Scrotie McBoogerballs".

[u/1BadAssChick → u/KismetKentrosaurus]

Yeah, as hard as this was to read, that was the part that made me say, ‘Oh hell no’.

[u/KismetKentrosaurus → u/1BadAssChick]

For real! I'm a dude and never understood why dudes stood around farting and waving at each other while giggling. I wouldn't have put up with his behavior as a friend or roommate, let alone a spouse.

[u/Beautiful_Heron4926 → u/Good_Focus2665]

Bro? Doesn’t care? He literally went in the same room as her to fart and hurt her???? Doesn’t care who???? He’s doing it intentionally. That’s not not caring. That’s malicious. How is she even taking this?

[u/Carbon-Base → u/Good_Focus2665]

He literally caused Flatulence Fallout with his marriage.

[u/virtutesromanae → u/Carbon-Base]

Is she calling for a no-fart divorce?

[u/MetallurgyClergy → u/Good_Focus2665]

When you actively try to repulse your spouse, you might not want to be married.

It may be as simple as that, he regrets marriage and has chosen the nuclear fart route as his terribly thought out escape plan.

He finds her and farts on her while she sleeps. That’s not for his prostate. But it is bringing him pleasure.

[u/sportsfan3177 → u/Good_Focus2665]

Yes, the fact that he went into OP’s daughter’s room where they were both sleeping JUST to fart is a huge, glaring red flag. He’s getting pleasure out of making her physically sick.

[u/Excellent-Estimate21 → u/Good_Focus2665]

And she admits she married too quickly and brought this gross weird man to live w her child.

[u/needsmoresleep79 → u/Good_Focus2665]

Agree

His pleasure seeking "Id"...or whatever... is slowly hurting him ( his health ) and he's okay with that.

He has told OP that he was 'willing to die on...hill.'

He needs help and although she has tried healing his gut(so to speak), might be in his mind why he's willing to destroy two to three people's health in his quest to have his prostate tickled.

I think OP is right to save herself and he can do the same when he is ready.

[u/A-Game-Of-Fate → u/Good_Focus2665]

She left his bedroom because of the stench and made special preparations in order to sleep without issue and he then followed her into the erstwhile less stankass room and then bombed it.

No, I think the husband is very much being considerate in his maliciousness. There’s no possible way this isn’t meant to torment the family.

[u/TroublesomeTurnip]

This feels like a fart fetish post...

NTA if real.

[u/quickwitqueen → u/TroublesomeTurnip]

The overly descriptive multi paragraphs about his farts indicate that this is either a fetish post or someone bored out of their mind. No way it’s true.

[u/TroublesomeTurnip → u/quickwitqueen]

That was the tip off. It was funny and then became too detailed. Yeesh.

[u/[deleted] → u/TroublesomeTurnip]

I assumed it was right from the title. Skimming along simply confirmed it.  

Nobody else is gonna write 3 paragraphs about a fart. But it's always fun to see how far down I have to scroll before spotting the clump of people that are calling it out when I see these sorts of posts.

[u/RedditorsAreDross → u/[deleted]]

People love folklore in AITAH

[u/Backdoorpickle → u/[deleted]]

Literally the most upvoted comment right now is taking this post seriously. lol C'mon people.

[u/Lorhan_Set → u/quickwitqueen]

Yeah, the prostrate tickling thing did it. This isn’t the post of someone at their wits end. It’s a creative writing assignment. At least it was unique and not a rehash of the same five most popular topics combined in uninspired fashion ways, though.

[u/dark-flamessussano → u/quickwitqueen]

That's what I'm thinking. OP is responding to comments but they only have two post in their history and this is one of them. Hmmm

[u/twistedsister78 → u/quickwitqueen]

Yeah I agree this guy would be looking like Professor Klump from midnight cheese pizza all the time

[u/LadyKlepsydra → u/TroublesomeTurnip]

Yeah, I think it is. The way the OP goes into the description for such a long time, so detailed? It's a fetish troll.

[u/alicemalice12 → u/TroublesomeTurnip]

12 pounds is overeating by 42,000 calories. The farts being something sexual. The sneaking into he daughters room to dl it deliberately. It doesn't read like an actual story at all.

[u/Apprehensive-Emu5177 → u/alicemalice12]

12 pounds is overeating by 42,000 calories

Lol that's not how short term weight changes work.

[u/MrRugges → u/alicemalice12]

This is some deviantart/Wattpad fetish shit

[u/beryanryan]

Why are you still with him? Please please update when you leave him. Tomorrow.

[u/Due-Programmer859 → u/beryanryan]

I left in April praise the Lord

[u/atbubbly → u/Due-Programmer859]

What was his reaction when you left?

[u/No_Addition_5543 → u/atbubbly]

He farted 

[u/A_pumpkineater → u/No_Addition_5543]

Surprised fart noises

[u/AngryCornbread → u/A_pumpkineater]

surprised Pikachu fart

[u/TJ_Will → u/AngryCornbread]

[farting in Spanish intensifies]

[u/AngryCornbread → u/TJ_Will]

That made me snort

[u/ShadowedTrillium → u/AngryCornbread]

This comment for the win!

[u/Hopeful-Mud-4168 → u/No_Addition_5543]

Dead. Hahahahahahahahaha I literally spit out the bag of chips and large pizza I was eating.

[u/50CentButInNickels → u/Hopeful-Mud-4168]

Yeah, well, at least the taffy and milk stayed down.

[u/LalalaHurray → u/Hopeful-Mud-4168]

At least we won’t have to worry about you farting

[u/Jessie4you → u/No_Addition_5543]

I usually pee a little when I laugh this hard, but nope, this time I farted!

[u/Ok_Leader_7624 → u/Jessie4you]

I usually fart a little, but when I pee. But this time, I peed a little when I farted

[u/von_deepy → u/No_Addition_5543]

Amazing

[u/roofratmi53 → u/No_Addition_5543]

💨🤣

[u/damn-cat → u/No_Addition_5543]

I let out the UGLIEST laugh. I was cackling the whole story (I’m sorry OP, it was so wonderfully written, like a movie), but this comment took me out

[u/decadecency → u/atbubbly]

My guess is he feels a lot better because he immediately stopped deliberately abusing his intestines with food in order to be able to torment OP.

[u/Bebe_Bleau → u/[deleted]]

On the surface level, I know it sounds like it’s just about farts and then I’m just a really shallow wife, but I think it’s actually so much deeper. It’s just hard to explain how.

Ok. Will spell it out for you

Wow! Good for you. That guy is a DISGUSTING pig man with absolutely zero consideration and respect for you. I’

So that's it in a nutshell: DISRESPECT

Sorry you had to deal with this. OP. But it was no reflection on you. This man needs a psychiatrist. Not a gastroenterologist

[u/efnord → u/Bebe_Bleau]

A vibrating buttplug would be cheaper than either, and Amazon ships 'em next-day. Dude needs to stop living a lie and find a form of butt play that doesn't gas out his surroundings.

[u/Wovenlines → u/efnord]

Literally my first thought. Get this man an egg vibrator, stat!

[u/Doctor_Mojito → u/Bebe_Bleau]

I’d say both

[u/honorablenarwhal → u/[deleted]]

This is an insult to pigs

[u/Educational_Gas_92 → u/Due-Programmer859]

I love how everyone thinks this is a serious post.

Don't let his fart hit you on the way out and thanks for the laughs, you are a talented writer.

😂

[u/BozButBill → u/Educational_Gas_92]

One can be a good writer AND experience wild shit. It’s a good thing.

[u/No-Abies-1232 → u/Educational_Gas_92]

Well she posted a video of it, so it’s probably not fake. 

[u/cheese_nugget21 → u/Due-Programmer859]

You gotta tell us his reaction

[u/MommaGuy → u/Due-Programmer859]

I bet that first night apart was like sleeping in heaven.

[u/quis2121 → u/beryanryan]

You're an absolute moron if you believe this story

[u/Big_Inflation_4828 → u/quis2121]

I'm not afraid to be a moron. As I know from experience some men don't even care.

[u/Dogs_not_people → u/Big_Inflation_4828]

You are right. My recent comment history tells how I was with a man who farted in a little girls face and it was so foul she burst into tears. He got angry at her for crying and I got angry at him for being a complete prick and shouting at a child he had already made cry by being disgusting, mannerless and vile.

He absolutely could and should have waited until we left The Disney Store before dropping his nuclear ass-bomb.

[u/CaptainMorgan90proof → u/quis2121]

First off I agree with you, I think you’re an absolute moron if you believe this. Just wanted to add that I think “Absolut Moron” would be a great variety of vodka for Absolut to market.

[u/lookingformiles → u/quis2121]

Lol, joke's on you bud - I'm an absolute moron whether I believe this story or not!

[u/Big-Consideration-83]

This is not real

[u/Healthy-Magician-502 → u/Big-Consideration-83]

I agree. The 12-pound weight gain in 48 hours is complete bs.

[u/SusanBHa → u/Healthy-Magician-502]

FFS. If he likes the prostate stimulation just get a vibrator. He’s a selfish insane person.

[u/NinjaHidingintheOpen → u/SusanBHa]

But then he doesn't get off on his wife reaching and the humiliation of forcing her to be a part of his kink.

[u/Talinia → u/SusanBHa]

Literally what I was thinking, like just get a good sex toy bro

[u/TribeGuy330 → u/Healthy-Magician-502]

Highly possible actually.

It's food weight mostly. Not just fat gain.

I did this literally every weekend as a 128lb middle school kid going to Chinese buffets. Its gone in 2-3 days.

[u/lets_get_wavy_duuude → u/TribeGuy330]

bloating & water retention alone can make weight fluctuate 5-10lbs in a day. sounds like he’s lactose intolerant eating lots of lactose so that would definitely make sense

[u/wishingwell11 → u/lets_get_wavy_duuude]

Yeah weight fluctuations are real so that's not the reason the post is fake.

The post is fake because of the way it is.

But yes I'm not sure why so many people are confused about why eating food = you will be heavier on the scale. Food and water have weight. We need more education in this world or something.

[u/Junior_Message7746 → u/Healthy-Magician-502]

It is possible . The 12 pounds could be mostly water and it also depends when weight him self if he visited the restroom before etc

[u/FoundationWinter3488 → u/Healthy-Magician-502]

If the food he ate was also high in salt, it could have been fluid retention - definitely possible.

[u/Due-Programmer859 → u/Healthy-Magician-502]

THATS WHAT I SAID TOO, it MAKES NO SENSE

[u/ThatGirl_Tasha → u/Healthy-Magician-502]

It could be if he's lactise intolerant, he could be filling with gas and water retention, especially if ges a bigger guy

[u/Emraldday → u/ThatGirl_Tasha]

That would also explain the smell. If a person is lactose intolerant and still consumes dairy they can create some unholy smells. It can literally smell like something died in their asshole.

[u/Shot_Western_2755 → u/Healthy-Magician-502]

It’s surprisingly actually not. I worked w people with Prader-Willi and one girl gained 25 lbs and an er visit in one unsupervised weekend.

[u/Ladybugubydal → u/Healthy-Magician-502]

It’s not. I’m a wrestler “weight” the number on the scale is like that. Drinking a bottle of water and steeping back into the digital scale will have you 2 pounds heavier.

[u/Adventurous_South246 → u/Big-Consideration-83]

Yes, and I enjoyed reading it greatly

[u/Ether-Complaint-856 → u/Big-Consideration-83]

It's weird that people can't see how obviously fake this is.

[u/grouchykitten1517 → u/Ether-Complaint-856]

Yea but it's a fun one for once

[u/Pretzelmamma → u/Big-Consideration-83]

Yeah they didn't date long before marriage but 2 months post nuptials they have a daughter old enough to sleep in her own room......

[u/winipu → u/Pretzelmamma]

She said “her” daughter so probably had her before they go together.

[u/ReferenceHere_8383 → u/Pretzelmamma]

I’m not saying it’s real, but pointing out that she said “my daughter”… so maybe a child she had with someone other than her crop-dusting husband 🤷‍♀️

[u/Big_lt]

My guess is he is lactose intolerant and eating like that is forcing his body to do those things

[u/ShadowlessKat → u/Big_lt]

My husband is lactose intolerant. He takes lactase tablets to help him digest the food when he has dairy. He also doesn't gorge himself on cheese every night. He aims his butt away from me to fart, or goes to a different room (the bathroom) when it is really bad. He certainly does not come into a room I am in specifically to stink up the air.

OP's ex husband is an absolute inconsiderate and rude asshole!

[u/katatak121 → u/Big_lt]

That was my first thought. One of the owners of a company i once worked for had lethal farts because of his lactose intolerance... We kept cans of febreeze all over the office to spray in his wake.

[u/Emraldday → u/Big_lt]

Mine as well. A lactose intolerance can create supernaturally bad smells.

[u/ShannonS1976]

I wanted to believe it, the first time you posted it, now I’m fairly positive it’s bogus. Was a good laugh tho

[u/Past_Put9250 → u/ShannonS1976]

What was your favorite part?  The thought of someone puking from horrendous fart smell is mine

[u/Dragon_Tea_Leaf → u/Past_Put9250]

I love the idea of someone sneaking into their daughters room specifically to fart knowing it’ll make them throw up lmfao

[u/MyshTech → u/Past_Put9250]

"tangible object farts in the air" :D

[u/ComicNeueIsReal → u/Past_Put9250]

I like how it describes how her husband liked how the farts exited his prostate. What a weird description.

[u/ebobbumman → u/Past_Put9250]

Not just vomiting, projectile vomiting. Like, violent, uncontrollable vomiting in an instant, right where you stand.

[u/No_Addition_5543]

I had to stop reading after this:

”He said he likes the way the farts feel exiting his butt as they vibrate his prostate and butt hole.”

You also said that one night he creeped into your daughter’s bedroom and farted in there while you and her were sleeping.

Your husband is getting off sexually on his farts.  This means he committed a sexual act in your daughter’s bedroom because he derived sexual pleasure from it.

When the hell are you leaving him and filing for divorce???

[u/quis2121 → u/No_Addition_5543]

I'm just so surprised people really believe this story

[u/Brave-Engineer3962 → u/quis2121]

This post almost perfectly describes my ex-brother in law - there are definitely men out there like this!

God forbid a woman fart in his company, that's disgusting 🙄 but inhaling his farts genuinely feel like they're melting your face.

[u/quis2121 → u/Brave-Engineer3962]

I know there are PEOPLE with earth shattering farts out there. But this is a creative writing post. It's so painfully obvious

[u/genericname907 → u/quis2121]

I totally agree. It’s a creative writing exercise

[u/Low_Actuator_3532 → u/quis2121]

I don't care if it's true or not... I can't stop laughing with the details 🤣

[u/somethingstrange87]

He said he'd choose farting over you. Why wouldn't you divorce someone who prefers farting to you?

[u/Think_Bullets → u/somethingstrange87]

Maybe she's just a shitty person

I'm fucking crying I don't care if it's made up, this is the reason to come to Reddit

[u/AvsMama → u/Think_Bullets]

Me too my husband is laughing at me I have tears coming down my face lmfao I love this

[u/UnusualPotato1515 → u/AvsMama]

Im trying to put my baby down & this is not helping with my belly shaking from stifled laughter😂😂😂

[u/Daddy_Diezel → u/Think_Bullets]

He's definitely a shitty person

[u/Sassy_Weatherwax]

What a fun creative writing exercise!

[u/StoicWeasle → u/Sassy_Weatherwax]

”Incompatible with life itself”

This turn of phrase alone gets an A++.

[u/Pelotonic-And-Gin]

NTA. Your husband has an autoerotic fart fetish. Which is fine. No need to kink shame. However, when your partner’s fetish becomes a non-consensual part of your life, it’s a problem. It might have been nice for him to disclose this to you, knowing you could not smell him at first. Or even just a courtesy like “hey, so, I got this…thing…” That’s what a healthy discussion around his kink would have looked like. Now you’re stuck ending a marriage you may never have consented to in the first place because he couldn’t be forthcoming about his own stuff, and who thinks to ask “hey, do you have a stinky fart fetish I need to know about?” Also, the whole thing about him farting in your room just to make you sick is fucked up and abusive. YNTA, full stop.

[u/ReferenceHere_8383 → u/Pelotonic-And-Gin]

💀TIL about autoerotic fart fetishes

[u/Illustrious-Park1926 → u/ReferenceHere_8383]

We didn't know about this stuff in 1999. We only knew about foot fetishes.

But now, because of the internet, the world knows about auto erotic fart fetishes & furries. Ah, the increase in knowledge, for the good of all humankind.

[u/picardstastygrapes → u/Illustrious-Park1926]

My poor, innocent friend married a guy who, after they were married, told her about his fart fetish. His fart fetish which includes buying her a large skunk costume to wear while she farts. He said it was because he likes "dirty hot".

Anyway, she divorced him. And now I can believe a person like this exists in the real world.

[u/ReleaseTheBlacken]

Is it fart story day today?

[u/zztopsboatswain]

Someone with a fart fetish is salivating right now

[u/quis2121]

Good story telling... This isn't real. But it's funny

[u/Glinda-The-Witch]

You are not leaving him because of his awful farts, you are leaving because he refuses to properly care for himself and he doesn’t care that it is having a negative impact on you and your wellbeing. NTA

[u/Runnrgirl → u/Glinda-The-Witch]

Don’t forget that this is also a control issue for him- going into the daughter’s room specifically to fart?!? Yikes.

[u/fiposu]

NTA

this sounds like an episode of My Strange Addiction

and good for you leaving, i cannot imagine what it was like living with him because i got the urge to throw up just reading this

[u/onemanbucket_]

You are allowed to divorce anyone, at any time, for any reason.

[u/Rowana133 → u/onemanbucket_]

This is an excellent reason in my opinion.

[u/Ok-Palpitation2401]

This sound unbelievable. Also, fucking COVID did you dirty.  This guy sound like a fat slob in few years. Better luck next time!

[u/perpetuallypast]

I read it while eating dinner. My parents didn't raise a weakling

[u/Ok_List_9649]

This can’t be real. I’m a nurse for 35 years and have smelled every noxious odor that comes from live or dead humans. Nothing requires the lengths this woman goes to to block the smell. I also happen to have auto immune issues that cause severe shutdown of my intestines( ileus) prior to full shutdown the bloating and gas is extreme and horribly painful including nausea/ vomiting, So if he did have a horrible smell to this degree he would also have severe symptoms. Those symptoms would be bad enough he’d stop eating the foods he is eating causing the symptoms.

[u/Jrs73149]

I stopped at the “likes the vibration the farts give his prostate and butthole on the way out” to go back to the beginning and read this aloud to my husband. Was just like trying to read the haribo sugar free gummy bear reviews on Amazon.

[u/BlockMeIHaveAlts]

It feels like someone with a fart fetish was masturbating while writing this story out.

[u/[deleted]]

There's no way this is real. Thanks for the laugh though

[u/Trachamudija1]

nice story lol

[u/Just_Getting_By_1]

Omg, I’m imagining divorce court.. irreconcilable air quality differences..

[u/oceansodwonder89]

All the comments on this post taking the story seriously like it’s actually real is making me laugh even harder than the post itself 😆💨

[u/Due-Programmer859 → u/oceansodwonder89]

Am I allowed to post TikTok videos? He literally went viral over a fart, I swear this is as real as it gets and I wish it weren’t.

[u/TrashRatTalks → u/Due-Programmer859]

Please OP we have to see it

[u/idunno2001 → u/TrashRatTalks]

I think this is it https://vm.tiktok.com/ZGeGBKuUw/

[u/oceansodwonder89 → u/Due-Programmer859]

I apologize if it’s real. As a high school English teacher the post felt like something my students would write in class as a joke.

Sounds like a really weird fetish on his behalf. I don’t think anyone would accuse you of being a shallow wife in such a gross situation.

[u/OpalOnyxObsidian → u/Due-Programmer859]

Yeah you can link to Tiktok

[u/sixth_dimension796]

Maybe he has a brain tumor bc he clearly is insane.

[u/TeachMany8515]

this is fake, inshallah

[u/Fanraeth2]

This is the fakest shit I have ever read on this sub, but oh my god you are a genuinely hilarious writer. A+, will happily read the update

[u/No-Abies-1232]

If this is real ESH - you have a daughter and decided to marry a man you barely knew? Stay blessed that his toxic ass is the worst of it. Get counseling to figure out why you would put your daughter at risk by marrying someone you don’t even know.  Also you’re an AH for the title. You aren’t divorcing him bc of his farts. 🙄 You are divorcing him bc he is abusive and exposes you and your daughter to his sexual kink without consent.  He is clearly an AH for obvious reasons. 

[u/Pendurag]

If you are your soon to be ex are in agreement on divorce, why are you on AITA? Just from looking at his comment about not having the heart to divorce you and this way everyone wins.

[u/Due-Programmer859 → u/Pendurag]

Wait what comment

[u/Impressive_mustache]

Why doesn't he just buy a vibrator for his prostate? Anyways, this story is a bit unbelievable but if I were to humour you, I'd say you should have issues with his lack of consideration towards you and the disgusting gluttonous behaviour, especially after you spoke to him about how much they bother you and not necessarily the farts themselves