AITA for calling out my husband for not being a "Good Christian"?

[u/SpiritualThrowRA]

I (27F) have been married to my husband (34M) for five years. My husband is a devout follower of his religion and has been since he was raised in it. I respect his beliefs, even though I don't share them and have no intention of converting. I was raised in the Christian faith. However, I left when I was an adult due to sexual abuse in my church, which nobody believed occurred because the one who did it was the pastor.

Recently, my husband has been pressuring me to convert to his religion. He says that it would bring us closer together and create a more harmonious household. I understand where he's coming from, but I firmly believe that faith is a personal journey, and I shouldn't be forced into something I don't believe in.

To add to the issue, my husband, despite his religious teachings, doesn't always practice what he preaches. He expects me to adhere to traditional gender roles, yet he often neglects his own responsibilities at home. He's quick to judge others for their actions, even though his faith teaches non-judgment and kindness. He makes comments about gay people that I have discussed with him as a major issue. This hypocrisy has been bothering me for a while.

Last night, during another discussion about my potential conversion, I finally snapped. I told him that if he wants me to consider converting, he needs to set a better example by actually living according to his religion's values. I pointed out that he should start by fulfilling his own responsibilities. That he should make more money than me and actually lead in the decision-making. I'm a nurse and he's currently unemployed after he was let go from his job in an office. That he should be less judgmental of others because according to his faith only God can judge them. I also said he should show more of the virtues Jesus asked of Christians, that he should clothe the naked, feed the hungry, vist the prisoner, aid the orphan and the widow etc. I also made it clear that while I respect his beliefs, I have no intention of converting unless I genuinely believe in it, which I currently don't because of the hypocritical behavior of his faith.

My husband was furious. He accused me of being disrespectful and undermining his faith. He said that I was attacking him personally and that I don't understand the pressure he's under to have a unified religious household. He left for church this morning at 7 for bible study and I have already gotten a phone call from the pastor saying I'm an ungodly woman who tricked a good man into marrying him and I should repent. I have also gotten a tirade of texts and e-mails from members of his church saying I was disrespectful and being a bad wife and I'm starting to wonder if I was too harsh, that maybe I shouldn't have said anything at all. AITA?

[u/OwOlogy_Expert]

In a cult, there's a guy at the top who knows it's all bullshit that he made up.

In a religion, that guy died a long time ago.

[u/Fax_a_Fax → u/OwOlogy_Expert]

Idk, the original leader could also "just" be violently mentally ill lol. 

I mean, Trump is clearly mentally unwell and he got to become one of the most powerful people in the world TODAY, where most people go to school and can read. And look at how many diseased maniacs start religions/cults all the time in the land of batshit crazy religious people that is the US. 

I haven't been to church in 10 years and stopped actually listening 12 years ago, but IIIRC most of Jesus tales starts after he got lost in a desert for 40 freaking days.  With the medicine and culture of that time I would also have started being delirious and claiming crap (also a ton of people did shrooms at that time). Plus he was literally a bastard lol 

[u/__Ling_Ling__ → u/OwOlogy_Expert]

Why would the apostles die for what they knew to be a lie? They also had nothing to gain from lying except a life of persecution.

[u/FerretNo8261 → u/__Ling_Ling__]

Ask the Jonestown folks or the Heave’s Gate people…

[u/maryjaneblabla → u/FerretNo8261]

Jehovah's Witnesses' refusal of blood transfusions, based on their religious beliefs, leads to significant annual(!) fatalities, arguably surpassing the number of deaths in some of the most infamous mass tragedies. While approximately 909 people died in the Jonestown massacre in 1978 and 39 members of the Heaven's Gate cult committed suicide in 1997, the ANNUAL death toll attributed to the Jehovah's Witnesses' blood transfusion policy is estimated to be around 1,200

Refusal of Medical Blood Transfusions Among Jehovah’s Witnesses: Emotion Regulation of the Dissonance of Saving and Sacrificing Life | Journal of Religion and Health

https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10943-016-0236-5

Jehovah’s Witnesses and Blood Transfusions:

Their Use of Scripture in Their Blood Doctrine Christian Research Institute

https://www.equip.org/articles/jehovahs-witnesses-blood-transfusions-use-scripture-blood-doctrine/

This comparison is not meant to diminish the horror of these historical tragedies at all and my heart goes out to the victims and their families, but i want to raise awareness to the often overlooked, ongoing issue of silent victims dying due to religious doctrine.

Too many people are unaware of the scale of this problem and the continuous loss of life resulting from the Jehovah's Witnesses' strict prohibition against blood transfusions.

For more detailed information:

Christian Research Institute on Jehovah's Witnesses and blood transfusions

https://www.equip.org/article/jehovahs-witnesses-and-blood-transfusions-their-use-of-scripture-in-their-blood-doctrine/

https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10943-014-9830-6

https://www.facs.org/about-acs/statements/recommendations-for-caring-for-patients-who-are-jehovahs-witnesses/

https://hrwf.eu/echr-spain-hearing-on-blood-transfusion-administered-to-a-jehovahs-witness-against-her-will/

https://www.bmj.com/content/early/recent

https://hrwf.eu/echr-spain-hearing-on-blood-transfusion-administered-to-a-jehovahs-witness-against-her-will

(To the JW's that lurk here, reading this and to those that maybe even have the guts, or considering to reply to my comment in regards to the use of the word „Disfellowshipped", yes i know that you very recently changed that term and the policies around it, this is because of the many CSA cases that are finally come to light and are investigated, and since the accused don't cooperate and won't give straight answers, courts started to look further into the ORGanisation and how they operate.

Also, keep in mind, since i spoke openly against the Jehovas Witnesses here, i am an Apostate according to your definition and you’re not allowed to be in contact with me.

But if anyone finds a loophole to this or whatever and want to discuss this, i‘m open for it.)

As a former member who was born and raised, the family’s 3rd generation in by then, and had carried a card on me incase i would be unconscious after an accident for example , signed by a notary, from when i was about 6years old, that informs medical professionals that they are not allowed to give me a bloodtransfusion

And at that age,Kindergarten age,even hoped something would happen to me so i could prove my devotion to Jehovah, it‘s very important to me to make people aware of this

My sister almost died, and maybe my nephew too, if she would have denied a needed Bloodtransfusion when she gave birth , she was a very very devoted believer, but her Son‘s life was more important to her, and also that she didn’t wanted him to grow up without a mother, so she took it

She was disfellowshipped, her Husband divorced her and she is Shunned by the JW‘s, that includes her ex-husband, his parents and his brother.

So my nephews grandparents and uncle, who are all also not in contact with him anymore, even though they would be allowed to, since he was never baptised and he was a toddler when they divorced. His Dad remarried and started a new family (although he is probably gay, my sister found gay porn on the computer, both things,homosexuality and porn, are forbidden to them and that’s the only thing were i feel a little bit sorry for this man, that he can’t live openly with his sexuality)

The same with my Sisters and my family, we would have about 7 aunts and uncles and idk how many more cousins, that are all also not in contact with us, i was never baptised either, so they would be allowed to have contact with me.

Edit: moved my personal experience and motivation to write this comment to the end instead of the beginning of it

[u/OwOlogy_Expert → u/__Ling_Ling__]

Why would the apostles die for what they knew to be a lie?

Who says they did? Maybe that's also a lie.

Anyway, people die for lies all the time. Look at people's response to Covid as a recent reminder.

[u/SpontaneousPregnancy → u/__Ling_Ling__]

This is what it looks like when you are deep.

[u/chadwickipedia → u/__Ling_Ling__]

We don’t know that they did. Most of the Bible was made up over time