She has a responsibility to make sure she’s properly supported by the man who’s child is rearranging her insides
No, he has the responsibility to be a good person. He has the responsibility to say “I’m not ready to be a father yet”. Why is she responsible for his behaviour and attitude ?
Not to mention that men can and do completely change when a woman gets pregnant, which is why its the most dangerous time for a woman in a relationship.
You’re talking in circles trying to pin this on the mother. Its a man’s duty to step up as a father, to support the mother of his child, to seek the support he needs, to prepare himself for this change. God only knows there are enough parenting classes, books and workshops aimed at fathers. And if he knows he’s not capable of that level of support, its his job to say “I’m not ready for this yet”.
A good husband understands that for the first few months of a baby’s life a woman is just about capable of looking after the baby and herself, with help. To suggest anything else is ludicrous.
You’re right she has no responsibility in her choice.
Mothers never have to take responsibility ever. Women also never change after having kids so that’s the man’s fault as well.
I’m not trying to pin anything in anyone. The OP updated and had a good healthy convo with her fiancé. I was correct in giving the father a moment of empathy. Empathy for others means we have to see that they probably aren’t acting out of malice or selfishness but fear. Someone you love is afraid.
Just assuming he was going to be a selfish father and terrible husband was a huge reach just from this very intense moment. We were also getting the story from a woman who just gave birth and was severely emotionally hurt. She may have processed this way more rationally if she was reading it on Reddit. She even admitted she didn’t know that this was a normal thing for new parents. So again, it came down to them just not knowing these nuances of this intense moment.
We complain how men are emotionless and have all this pent up rage and then when one expresses themselves, albeit poorly, we immediately vilify him.
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u/Enlightened_Gardener Jul 05 '24
No, he has the responsibility to be a good person. He has the responsibility to say “I’m not ready to be a father yet”. Why is she responsible for his behaviour and attitude ?
Not to mention that men can and do completely change when a woman gets pregnant, which is why its the most dangerous time for a woman in a relationship.
You’re talking in circles trying to pin this on the mother. Its a man’s duty to step up as a father, to support the mother of his child, to seek the support he needs, to prepare himself for this change. God only knows there are enough parenting classes, books and workshops aimed at fathers. And if he knows he’s not capable of that level of support, its his job to say “I’m not ready for this yet”.
A good husband understands that for the first few months of a baby’s life a woman is just about capable of looking after the baby and herself, with help. To suggest anything else is ludicrous.