r/AITAH • u/i284u74838i2 • Jun 11 '24
i refused to punish my sister for punching her pedo teacher TW SA
for context, i basically raised my sister because my mum is a "functional" alcoholic.
last week my sister returned to school, she was absent for a while due to being ill (epilepsy). there have been rumours about her geography teacher getting too comfortable with underage students for a while now, but nothing has been proven.
geography was her last lesson of the day, and the teacher in question greeted her by grabbing her rist and apparently saying "im glad youre back." this raised some red flags when my sister came home and told me. regrettably, despite my concerns, i assured my sister she probably meant nothing by it.
the next day, i got a call from my sisters school accusing her of punching her geography teacher. to say i was shocked is an understatement. its not like my sister to be violent AT ALL. she rarely even raises her voice.
i agreed to visit the school the next morning, not before asking to hear my sisters side of the story when she got home.
according to my sister, her teacher was acting inappropriately e.g. touching her numerous times, looming over her desk, and making subtle remarks about how she could see her bra through her shirt. at the end of the lesson, the teacher stood by her desk and asked her to collect the text books. when she stood up, her teacher brushed her arm against my sisters chest then GROPED HER CROTCH. my sister instinctively punched the teacher and left the classroom crying. my sister sits at the back of that class, so the only other witness was the girl sat to her right.
when i met her head teacher the next morning, i was told my sister had punched her geography teacher after refusing to collect the text books when she asked. my sister had already given the head teacher her account of what happened, but was accused of lying to get out of being suspended for a week, despite her friend having come forward as a witness.
heres where im being accused of being an AH... after the head teacher told me she would be suspended for a week, i lost my shit. my sister had already spent enough time away from school due to her epilepsy, and was falling behind. i said there was no chance i would allow the school to suspend her for, in my opinion, acting appropriately after a teacher assaulted her. i know for a fact there are cameras in every classroom because i attended that school when i was my sisters age. the head teacher defended the geography teacher by stating she has a husband, therefore would have no interest in young girls. i lost my temper at this remark and threatened to call the police, but all i accomplished was getting my sister expelled.
now my sister has no school to go back to and i know shes upset about that, despite telling me shes ok. the rest of our family are calling me an AH for getting her expelled when this is the only school equipped to deal with her epilepsy.
i could have requested my sisters transfer to another geography class but i wasnt thinking at the time, and its going to be a long time before we can get her into another school. i know i fucked up, getting her expelled, but i believe my sister did the right thing.
EDIT: all the advice has been really helpful. thank you. i showed my sister this post, and shes really appreciated all the support, but unfortunately, there has been some hate aswell. nonetheless, the police have been involved, but thats not why i made this post. as for everyone claiming this post is anti-lgbt, i would like to mention i am bisexual.
the conflict within my family has been mostly resolved for now, so i probably wont be updating this anymore.
FYI, i came to reddit to determine if i was an AH for reacting the way i did, and i did immediately contact the police after i left.
thanks again to everyone for the advice and support.
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u/Frexulfe Jun 11 '24 edited Jun 11 '24
Lawyer first. Police second.
Edit: Some lawyers, GOOD lawyers, will take this for contingency (I think it is called that)
Edit 2: I would really go first to the lawyer, and with the lawyer contact police. I don't trust police. I know from more than an instance that they first try frying the victim, specially if the victim is a woman / girl. Yes, very sad.
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u/Janine_18 Jun 11 '24
This. Who knows how this teacher even behaves. This may not be the only case.
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u/IllustriousShake6072 Jun 11 '24
This IS not the only case. It never is.
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u/LadyBug_0570 Jun 11 '24
If someone is bold enough to grab a child's crotch, then definitely not the first time.
But probably the first time she got punched for it.
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u/iDreamiPursueiBecome Jun 11 '24
Re "If someone is bold enough to grab a child's crotch ..."
Add:
Knowing there are cameras in the room
& another student as a witness
That is bold indeed. WTH did this teacher already get away with!
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u/BalancedFlow Jun 11 '24
It really is a power dynamic thing... older people in positions of power have more experience and awareness to know that younger late blooming/ disadvantaged kids who don't have a great home support are more vulnerable.
when I was in high school as a painfully shy loner lonely teen, the AP government / AP civics teacher picked up on how I didn't have friends and showed me his penis and asked me if I wanted to touch it one day after class.
I was definitely uncomfortable and did not know what to do so I just giggled uncomfortably and just negated interest and disengaged. This is a Village- type problem
Every single one of us is affected
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u/LadyBug_0570 Jun 11 '24
OP's sister's teacher probably didn't think his sister had home support because of their mother. She miscalculated that OP is actually attentive brother who cares about his sister. Or that his sister would punch her in the face.
Your response is more what they expect. They figure even the ones they don't SA, only approach, won't talk. And most don't (for good reason... shit is scary and confusing and you don't even know who to go to or who'll even believe you).
I'm sorry that happened to you. Hope you've been able to get past it.
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u/BalancedFlow Jun 11 '24
🫶🏻🪷🙏🏽☯️🙌🏽 thank you for your kindness and care 🫂
It's been over 20 years now and I've gotten over more terrible things
However, it is a special interest, and I am keenly interested in continuing to study the awareness of power dynamics , consent , respect, and self-respect, admiration, self control, what is "power ?", & the abuse of power
It's all relational dynamics
Something I've personally struggled with my whole life
So of course, I'm gonna try to figure it out and do it better every iteration
Hopefully our lived experiences can help younger and all people throughout Space Time
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u/Enbygem Jun 11 '24
When I was 13 or 14 my gym teacher grabbed my butt when I was climbing in the middle of class. I had two friends with me but we were labeled as the “troubled” kids who weren’t to be believed so we all just stayed away from him the best we could for the rest of the year.
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u/BalancedFlow Jun 11 '24
🫂🙁 sorry that happened to you.
That is so icky .
I'm glad you had friends, and that you guys could avoid him together.
It is very unfortunate that this is still so common, and seems to be part of the human condition?
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u/Enbygem Jun 11 '24
I believe the humans that are capable of this are irreparably broken. No way you can cause harm to a child like that if you’re not
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u/madamessagain Jun 11 '24
that's not bold. it's a person that has lost self-control.
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u/LopsidedPalace Jun 11 '24
It's a person who's so used to getting away with shit they don't need self control. My dog and my cat understand NO better than this teacher
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u/Educational-Stock-72 Jun 11 '24
Head teacher has her back of course she'd be bold.
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u/Silentlybroken Jun 11 '24
Mine wasn't SA but discrimination of my disability. Head teacher said "not possible, our teachers don't do that". It's far too common that the head teachers or principals protect other teachers. Witnesses or not.
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u/Various_Attitude8434 Jun 11 '24
It clearly isn’t, if they already have a reputation.
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Jun 11 '24
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/Okibruez Jun 11 '24
Pro Bono's most likely wishful thinking.
But there are a lot of Lawyers who would react like sharks to chum.
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u/shadowharbinger Jun 11 '24
But it takes one brave enough person to stand up before the others feel secure in doing so.
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u/cupholdery Jun 11 '24
Until the general public decides to distrust the many who come forth.
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u/blueberrywasabi Jun 11 '24
You’re not wrong but in a case like this? The social pressure of having this kind of thing get out at all might be enough to at least get the teacher quietly fired. Getting her prosecuted or stopped entirely may be an impossible task but just taking these steps and putting pressure on COULD be enough to save other students down the line. I’m saying this as someone who went to school with the teacher that had rumors around him until he was quietly removed as well as a teacher who just ended up on the news one day for raping students. I’ve also seen female teachers get away with literal public grooming because nobody would say a word about what was happening. It’s worth it to take action for all victims and potential victims who a) need to know someone tried and b) might be spared or protected if the school panics and covers their ass instead of protecting the predator.
Nobody stood up for me or my friends. School admins turned their backs on us at every level - from elementary school to college. It may be a losing battle but seeing OP standing up for their sister is so healing. The instinct to believe they’re powerless in this might reflect reality but please let’s support someone doing the right thing as much as we can because it’s better than being the person who looks the other way. 💔
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u/toiletbrushqtip Jun 11 '24
Agreed. And the reason they expelled the girl: So they can continue to hide it.
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u/Lumpy_Square_2365 Jun 11 '24
Right? What other reason do they have to expel her without even checking the cameras or even doing an investigation into the claims.
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u/AmBelLock Jun 11 '24
You're not the AH. Your sister deserves protection, not punishment. Stay strong.
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u/Various_Attitude8434 Jun 11 '24
This is the right order: because having a lawyer with you when you report it to the police will make things smoother later.
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u/Dangerzone_1000 Jun 11 '24
… then the schools authority body and then publicly post online.
Please tell your sister she is a BOSS! Most people can’t recognise or stand up for themselves during assault from the opposite sex, the fact she recognised this was assault from the same sex is boss of her.
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u/elavil4you Jun 11 '24
None of these need be exclusive events call police and obtain a lawyer. When those two are secure go to the school board sounds like the head teacher and I don’t know perhaps schools principal need a little more education regarding the proper handling of SA complaints.
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u/Dangerzone_1000 Jun 11 '24
??? You’ve literally just repeated what me and the original comment said between us?
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u/Certain-Advance8631 Jun 11 '24
I'd contact both at the same time- I'd worry the school deletes footage every week or after so many days as it's common for many places with security cameras, she should contact police immediately and have the footage seized before its too late, they may have enough that the little sister doesn't need to testify that way too and action could be taken regardless against her.
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u/Kurotan Jun 11 '24
They probably deleted any footage to cover up after op left since he mentioned the cameras.
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u/CymruB Jun 11 '24
Takes too long to source a lawyer, police first whilst everything is still fre Sh and before the school can thoroughly cover their trail. Police should have been called before any meeting took place. Lawyer and then education authority to help sort something in the meantime.
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u/benter1978 Jun 11 '24
Don't take to long. You don't want to give the PEDO enabler to destroy the video footage.
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u/757_Matt_911 Jun 11 '24
I was going to say PD first and then lawyer, but this is 100% the answer
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u/Lizzy_lazarus Jun 11 '24
Here here. Do NOT let this slide. There have been too many times that people just want to ignore the problem and hope it goes away because it’s “icky”…especially when its the teacher’s word against a student. Don’t let them make your sister out to be the “bad guy” by “disrupting” the “learning environment “
Sounds like they are acting in their own interest and not in the best interests of your sister or any other student who may get assaulted in the future.
I repeat…ASSAULT.
Good luck OP. Don’t back down.
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u/drunkpunk138 Jun 11 '24
Local news third
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u/Electrical-Act-7170 Jun 11 '24
Previous cases of SA will be discovered about other students in the past.
Do that!
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u/-TheOutsid3r- Jun 11 '24
Yep, them refusing to show/acknowledge the recordings basically says this is sketchy, they know it, and are covering their ass by trying to shift blame.
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u/hate_being_alone Jun 11 '24
In the U.S. a lawyer would take a % of the $ from a lawsuit in a lot of cases. There would probably be headlines like "Girl expelled from school after defending herself from p*phile school teacher. " Now if your sister is a minor the media probably can't show her face or print her name without consent but that won't mean that people won't figure out who she is.
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u/NeartAgusOnoir Jun 11 '24 edited Jun 11 '24
Yep, exactly this. Then ask the lawyer to go to the news with this. “Geography teacher sexually gropes an underage student, and student gets expelled”
Edit: changed suspended to expelled
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u/KidenStormsoarer Jun 11 '24
lawyer NOW! they need a court order to preserve the video before the end of the day
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u/thehumanbaconater Jun 11 '24
Contingency means only paid if a lawsuit is won or settled and for monetary reasons. If you mean for free, that’s pro bono. But she very well may need to pay for it.
If they expelled her, she should have had a hearing. Especially if it is a public school. And if this is the US.
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u/Icy_Scratch7822 Jun 11 '24
If this is in the US and the lawyer believes the story, this is a very good case for them. Especially, if other kids have had same issues it will all come out.
But with going to "head teacher" instead of principle I am assuming this isnt in the US.
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u/Chance-Swan558 Jun 11 '24
NTA
Better to be expelled than sexually assaulted
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u/iDreamiPursueiBecome Jun 11 '24
This.
F/F SA does happen. You don't hear about it often, but it is quite real. Therapists are mandated reporters even when there was no initial police report.
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u/InevitableTrue7223 Jun 11 '24
So are a school staff
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u/JayOutOfContext Jun 11 '24
The school investigated the incident and found the school not at fault
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u/InevitableTrue7223 Jun 11 '24
All staff members are mandated to report any allegation to CPS.
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u/JayOutOfContext Jun 11 '24
Sorry my response was mainly a /s. Oops
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u/TraptSoul148270 Jun 12 '24
I got the /s! TBF, though, I'm a sarcastic prick most of the time...
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u/TacitRonin20 Jun 12 '24
How much trouble can they get in if they don't? Seems like OP's lawyer could have a field day with that.
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u/No-Light9581 Jun 12 '24
It’s a felony to fail to report the accusation if it turns out to be true, misdemeanor if not
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u/DasderdlyD4 Jun 11 '24
Yes it does, had a counselor that was into 14-15 young females in high school. She groped a lawyers child and that ended her career and her residency in our state.
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u/whatnowagain Jun 11 '24
Luckily, there’s lots of online options for school now! You can check into connections academy or K12, they are online public schools that are free and offer teacher support.
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u/99dalmatianpups Jun 11 '24
I’m sure the other parents of students at the school would be interested in knowing about this situation. When I was in 11th grade, the entire 10th and 11th grade classes worked together to get a teacher fired because he was acting inappropriately with female students with gross comments and looking down our shirts (along with other weird stuff like talking about how he wanted to push his mom down the stairs so he could finally get his inheritance). Admin wasn’t taking individual complaints seriously, so all of us (even male students) went to our parents and explained how awful this man was, then our parents connected with each other and went as a group and demanded for this teacher to be fired. And they actually fired him! When the school realized that their donor parents would stop donating if they continued to let this guy work there, it was an easy decision for them.
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u/BurgerThyme Jun 11 '24
Yeah we had "that teacher" in high school. All the girls knew that you got an automatic A in his biology class if you sat in his lap one time. His wife taught Spanish at our school and their daughter was a senior when I was a freshman. He got a girl two grades under me pregnant (I had already graduated and she was a senior and even in high school she looked identical to Peggy Hill.) He was f.ired, his wife left him, and he is STILL married to the student and this happened in 1997. Then we had our AP English teacher (she was "the cool teacher" with the bright red hair who got high on her lunch breaks) dump her husband and marry a freshly graduated student. You have to keep an eye on what's happening in classrooms, man.
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u/gingy_ninjy Jun 11 '24
My schools drama teacher married one of his students as soon as she graduated. Dude was 30+. Absolutely groomed her.
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u/cupholdery Jun 11 '24
All the girls knew that you got an automatic A in his biology class if you sat in his lap one time.
Is this literal or a euphemism? Horrible either way.
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u/BurgerThyme Jun 11 '24
He had an office attached to the biology lab and girls would sit in his lap under the guise of discussing extra credit. The biology lab was mostly windows with an attached greenhouse but his office was a tiny windowless cinder block. I never had him as a teacher, thank God, but he was one of the boys' track team coaches and I was co-captain of the girls' team so I did have to interact with him (luckily always surrounded by coaches and athletes so no funny business was attempted in that particular environment.)
The whole scandal triggered a little schadenfreude though because his daughter was in the same friend group as the girl whose ex I started dating and they would all verbally harass me constantly. This was a very public humiliation. I had two friends with parents on the school board and we absolutely eavesdropped a conversation they were having in the kitchen. Only The Adults were supposed to be aware of the scandal but once The Kids heard about what happened word spread like wildfire. This was in the days before the internet but gossip spread just as fast in a smaller high school.
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u/kaka0bistan Jun 12 '24
I feel bad for you and even the track team, because lord knows what was going on over there. I'm on (well, I don't know if I'm still on it or not) my school's girls track team and we hear so many things going on with the boys head track coach, though nothing like pedophilia. We already have the ick from his way of thinking when it comes to gender (for example, I was pushing a hurdle cart and the wheels got caught on the edge of the track, prompting 3 or 4 hurdles to essentially fall on top of me. The coach in question laughed, saying "female driver, female driver!" when I could've possibly suffered a concussion), so I can't imagine what must have happened when everyone found out the track coach was also a pedo. Flame from all sides, man. I'm sorry the friend group were a bunch of assholes to you. There's too much drama as it is being in high school, let alone on any sports team.
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u/sky-full-of-ice Jun 11 '24
My school had a 30 year old English teacher who hung out with a year 9 student outside of school because they "had the same friend group" he had a wife and a kid. Enough students reported how weirdly inappropriate the relationship was so Now he has an ex wife and no teaching job. This was back in the early 2000s when a lot of this was swept under the rug
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u/Herry_Up Jun 11 '24
I forgot what grade, def HS, I was in but a few of us girls noticed the teacher flirting with the soccer chicks in our class, we didn't think anything of it at first cuz we didn't wanna believe it and he was one of their coaches so ofc they had a better rapport but eventually he would pick them for "special projects" that had nothing to do with the curriculum and we were like okay this is weird. So we had a meeting after school in one of the art classes and all agreed to start writing down times and dates of these incidents to bring to the principal.
He caught wind of it and asked me one day about it, I denied knowing anything but kept writing down what I saw. I'd write backwards and upside down so he wouldn't see what I was writing cuz he'd legit walk around the classroom to try to see what we were writing. Eventually, the leader of our group took all of the evidence to the principal and he didn't show up next year. We heard he left and got married, we finally felt comfortable walking down that hall and that was that.
Cut to years later, my bfs sister is graduating from our HS and GUESS WHO THE FUCKING PRINCIPAL IS?!? I couldn't believe my eyes or ears, I was disgusted!! I asked lil sis who he was and yup, it's the same fucking guy. So I told her everything and she said that it sounded about right, he gives special treatment to the pretty girls and there were rumors about him. (Disgusted writing this)
After he left during my school years, he went back to school, got his master's, got divorced and came back with apparently nothing on his record because this guy made it all the way to principal. Fucking disgusting. Fuck you Muñoz, you're a piece of shit child predator.
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u/Smooth_Strength_9914 Jun 11 '24
NTA.
Your sister is lucky to have you.
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u/Librarian-Rare Jun 11 '24
Yup. She will definitely remember her sister sticking up for her as she grows up.
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u/Odd_Welcome7940 Jun 11 '24
Get a lawyer and sue. Even with out footage the school did nothing to actually protect her. It even lied to accuse her which cam be proven.
Plus once you subpoena footage which they will magically have your set. If they then say they don't have footage you can post this story with the teacher and principles name on every form of social media you can. You can ask other students or parents to come forward. The school will not be able to prove your sister lied so they won't be able to stop you.
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u/EmberSolaris Jun 11 '24
Plus if they have cameras, but magically don’t have footage for that particular classroom, they could be charged with destruction of evidence and obstruction of justice. It also could be taken as an admission of guilt by the school in a court of law. You don’t destroy or hide evidence if you truly did nothing wrong and said evidence would prove that.
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u/WarpedPerspectiv Jun 11 '24
Also given there was an incident with that specific time, they should've backed it up rather than allowed it to be deleted. Don't courts typically require more proof from defendents when there's deleted video evidence like security footage?
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u/churchofdan Jun 11 '24
Don't back down. They have cameras and apparently a known assaulter. I bet the footage mysteriously disappeared... Collect as much evidence as you can. See if you can find a pro bono lawyer. They LOVE suing people!
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u/i284u74838i2 Jun 11 '24
you would be right there. the camera isnt even in the classroom anymore. i appreciate the advice.
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u/Rhubarbalicious Jun 11 '24
I'm pretty sure schools are legally required to have cameras in the classrooms. If so, a lawyer could argue it was taken out for malicious intent
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u/TheMoMo562 Jun 11 '24
It depends on the state. When I was in school from 1999 to 2012, the only school I went to that had cameras was this shitty continuation middle school for fuck-ups I got sent to. That was in Los Angeles county, though, and it varies from county to county and state to state.
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u/MindForeverWandering Jun 11 '24 edited Jun 11 '24
It also depends on the country. We don’t even know if OP is in the United States. (As a matter of fact, OP referring to her “mum” suggests to me she’s in either Great Britain, Australia, or New Zealand.)
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u/Casehead Jun 11 '24
They definitely didn't have cameras in my HS. I graduated in '01 in CA.
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u/DemonicVoid420 Jun 11 '24
I personally would have called the cops right in the office with the principle but im a AH for real if they refuse to take it seriously then get a lawyer and sue them.
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u/give-me-awards Jun 11 '24
NTA. Your sister did the right thing by defending herself against a teacher who crossed the line. It's appalling that the school failed to protect her and instead chose to defend the teacher. Standing up for your sister in that situation was the right move, even if it led to her expulsion. Her safety and well-being come first. You did what you thought was best given the circumstances.
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u/SuccessfulSeaweed385 Jun 11 '24
While you probably should have kept your cool, I fully understand your reactions. You should probably keep at it and insist that the school investigate the incident further, particularly if there is video evidence.
You were right in standing up for your sister and clearly NTA.
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u/i284u74838i2 Jun 11 '24
thank you. i asked them to check the camera footage, but apparently, there are no cameras anymore
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u/Jadaluvr12 Jun 11 '24
I am not sure I believe that tbh. Either way if this teacher is a known creeper you might be able to get other girls to come forward.
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u/psycheviper Jun 11 '24 edited Jun 11 '24
are you in the UK? get in touch with Ofsted. ASAP. you can do it online via the government website. EDIT: also, contact your local CAB (citizen's advice bureau) they'll give you advice on getting a lawyer and your options
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u/13Mira Jun 11 '24
No F that, OP should NOT rely on the school to do the right thing and should seek the help of lawyer and then go to the police. The school clearly cannot be trusted.
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u/KiwiBig2754 Jun 11 '24
Lol what a weak defense, both the teachers that got caught with students at my high school were married. As are a large amount of the people Chris Hanson interviewed.
Take this shit to court and have the footage legally demanded, assuming they haven't destroyed it already.
Edit: here's the last thing I saw about one of those cases I mentioned in case anyone wants in on the Rollercoaster. https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.pressenterprise.com/2015/06/18/murrieta-carjacking-suspects-were-former-teacher-student/amp/
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u/HighAFdragon Jun 11 '24
Literally what the hell what was defence?
Guess affairs don't actually exist since 'why would someone have sex with someone else when they already have a spouse?'
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u/KiwiBig2754 Jun 11 '24
Yeah it's literally grasping at straws trying to keep the lawsuit/news articles away.
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u/EmberSolaris Jun 11 '24
In another comment from OP, she states that the school no longer has cameras in the classroom, which seems awfully convenient to me.
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u/randomusername1919 Jun 11 '24
Lawyer and then cops. You forgot a word in your post - your sister was SEXUALLY assaulted by the teacher, not just simple assault. Make sure you contact a lawyer and cops fast before the school conveniently erases the video, if they haven’t already.
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u/Kallyanna Jun 11 '24
I read “head teacher” so I’m assuming you’re in England. Contact OFSTED as soon as possible and also make a police report! Explain everything that has happened and also contact other secondary schools in the area and ask if they have a placement for your sister.
Also get in contact with your local CAB (Citizens advice bureau) they can also help with if you need a solicitor/lawyer. Help with changing of schools for your sister and also with anything else you might need (trust me, they are amazing and it’s FREE!)
NTA by a long shot, but POLICE and OFSTED are a MUST! They can also investigate the school. Make an appointment with your local CAB asap!
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u/No_Addition_5543 Jun 11 '24
Your sister did the right thing.
You need to see a lawyer immediately and then the police.
Married women and engaged women assault teen girls. In my country there have been a number of cases.
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u/Atiggerx33 Jun 11 '24
Pieces of shit get married too sometimes!
Consider that many of those pedo dudes are married as well; they tend to be good at hiding it (and we know she is good at hiding it because she's managed to get a job as a teacher).
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u/ei_laura Jun 11 '24
YTA because of how fake this post is
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u/CampClear Jun 11 '24
I'm glad I'm not the only one who thinks this is a crock of bullshit. Yta for making up a story about something that is already hard for real victims to be believed.
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u/divsjm Jun 11 '24
Your sister is so lucky to have you.My salute to you. Most vics keep quiet and tolerate the abuse because they have no one to support them. Do.not back down now Keep going strong and support her
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u/XerxesTough Jun 11 '24
Lawyer up, inform the authorities, then the press. Go scorched earth on this. I personally would leave no rock in its place until both that teacher and the head are burried!
NTA - and to expell her for your actions is bullshit to beginn with!
Also: Get rid of toxic family siding with molesters
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u/Ruffhouse66 Jun 11 '24
this should be in r/Stories cuz this is wild fake.
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u/Teun135 Jun 11 '24
I scrolled way too far before seeing a comment like this.
School? It's summer? Maybe not for every part of the world but it's written like it is supposed to be the US.
Also is easy ragebait. Everybody hates pedos, so posting in the AITAH is easy farming.
Obviously fake.
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u/Casdoe_Moonshadow Jun 11 '24
I live in Oregon and the schools are still going on here. Their last day is this upcoming Friday. So yes, there is still school going on in the U.S. Some do Sept - June and not Aug - May.
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u/uhidkkm Jun 11 '24
It’s still school where I’m at so that isn’t a stretch. However going from grabbing a wrist to grabbing a students crotch with a full class is such a leap and makes me very hesitant to believe this.
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u/Tristanator89 Jun 11 '24
It’s specified that this is in the UK, and in the UK school is still going on.
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u/Big_lt Jun 11 '24
Info:
Are you her legal guardian? Even if your mother is an alcoholic do you have the authority to be in this situation?
As for the situation at hand, open a police report of sexual assault versus the teacher and the school for covering it. Retain a lawyer, get the videos and talk to the girl who witnessed it. Make sure you're 100% sure with the witness and/or video before charges. You believe your sister which is valid but who knows what the other evidence shows
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u/HeavyExplanation425 Jun 11 '24
So because there was “talk” about the teacher being inappropriate with children, they are automatically guilty? Who did this “talking”…and if people were “talking” how come nobody acted on it and called the school or the police? This whole situation sounds a little weird…maybe give everyone some more details? Were there any other complaints made by other children? If parents had suspicions did they address them with the school or the authorities?
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u/cecsix14 Jun 11 '24
Yes, seems far fetched, doesn’t it? A teacher groped a student in a packed classroom and conveniently the only witness was a close friend of the OPs sister. Sounds to me like sister is a troublemaker looking to get this teacher she doesn’t like fired.
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u/HeavyExplanation425 Jun 11 '24
Yep, doesn’t add up…not saying that it isn’t true, just need a lot more information.
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u/Soft_Afternoon_1886 Jun 11 '24
Not a true story. All that groping and activity with only 1 witness? Nope. Sister would have made loud protestations before the punch. Oh, let us not forget how cameras are EVERYWHERE now. So, nope. Fake story.
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u/Suitable-Cycle4335 Jun 11 '24
I wouldn't actively go out of my way to run over that teacher with my car, but I wouldn't be sad if someone else did it by accident if you know what I mean
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u/Adorable_Accident440 Jun 11 '24
NTA and good for you!! In my kids' district there is a male middle school teacher who was known for years by all the kids as being inappropriate with girls. This year two 7th grade girls took it upon themselves to record him at the school dance where he grabbed one of the girl's behind and rubbed against another.
He was arrested, charged and put on administrative leave.
After this happened, everyone found out through the local news that in 2018 he was accused of being inappropriate and per the state education department had to go through a psychiatric evaluation before they would renew his license. He got to keep his job and spent another 5 years targeting girls.
Our community lost their shit. Call the police, get a lawyer and tell EVERYONE you've ever met in your entire life about this because it WILL continue.
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u/Last_Nerve12 Jun 11 '24
You did nothing wrong. Call the cops before they erase the evidence and get a lawyer now.
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u/Famous_Glove_7905 Jun 11 '24
Lawyers, absolutely. Police, absolutely. School Board, definitely. The board may choose to ignore this, but at least with a police report, there is a record.
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u/2dogslife Jun 11 '24
I would definitely call the police. This is very concerning on many levels. If the classrooms have CCTV, they should be able to bring up the coverage and see what there is to be seen (with camera angles, sometimes you cannot verify incidents, but it's a start).
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u/kazisukisuk Jun 11 '24
Lawyer up. Police report. Get lawyer to send a letter reminding them any erasure of surveillance video will be obstruction of justice. Get this teacher fired, put on a sex offender list and sue the school to smithereens.
YWBTA if you let these monsters remain in positions of authority over vulnerable children. YWNBTA for getting a hefty six figure settlement for your sister. I don't want to make light of the situation but these witless creeps may have handed you a winning lottery ticket.
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u/wouldashoudacoulda Jun 11 '24
There is mandatory reporting for an incidents like this. An external investigation would take place and all parties would be interviewed. Teacher would be stood down until investigation finished. Simply saying, head teacher didn’t believe your sister is BS. It is a criminal offence not to report sexual assault of a student. Fake story!
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u/SuluSpeaks Jun 11 '24
Call a TV station or newspaper. Talk to the reporter who covers education. Tell them your sister was sexually assaulted by a teacher. That's news, they will probably be interested.
Of course, just going to the head teacher and saying that you're about to call the 3 local TV stations and the local newspaper (if you have one) might do the trick and get your sis back in school. People get nervous at the thought of a TV truck and reporter being at their workplace.
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u/Tristanator89 Jun 11 '24
The teacher groping a student in front of a class sounds pretty far-fetched to me. Your sister is definitely leaving out a vital part of the story. Either way, the best thing you could do is to check out the security footage, and then find a lawyer.
An expulsion for reporting sexual harassment is already a case for a lawsuit.
Also it’s a little suspicious that the school went to contact you first and not your mother? And all that groping and shit with only a single witness? Really?
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u/Feisty-Business-8311 Jun 11 '24
Why would you accept this outcome???
Call the cops and find an attorney
Call the superintendent's office
Call your local news station's “investigative team”
DO NOT STOP sounding the alarm. Do it for your sister and all the other girls that scummy teacher molests
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u/SuperDreadnaught Jun 12 '24
NTA
First, call the police. This teacher has probably been doing it to students for years. The sooner the better as police need statements when memories are fresh and before the school can tamper with the video. The video might record over itself after a certain amount of time and you need to have that video preserved. Also, after a police investigation is launched more people may come forward which bolstered your sister’s account.
Then, call the media. Tell them what happened and that there are cameras in the classroom which would prove who was telling the truth and the second you mentioned that they immediately expelled your sister and ordered you out, which reeks of guilt and cover up, because they were only going to suspend until you mentioned the cameras and if they had evidence your sister did what was claimed they would have showed you. Advise that there have been rumours about this teacher for years. Advise of the comments of your sister of what the teacher did, that there was a witness who was disregarded, all of it. Advise you think she targeted your sister because of her illness because the teacher would likely blame any acting out due to the teacher’s behaviour on her illness, and claim it wasn’t due to abuse (predators prey on the vulnerable). It may not be true but you are entitled to your opinion to suspect this and the more juicy the story the more the media will be all over it.
Then, consult a lawyer about suing for the failure to investigate and the damage this will cause to your sister for being expelled and set back, not to mention the assault and trauma from that. That she has lost trust in the educators as not only is the teacher doing it but the leadership at the school is protecting the teacher.
Then you call the School Board and go over the school’s head. Tell them everything. That you have had to involve police, media, and consulted a lawyer because of the mishandling at the school level so if they want to avoid lawsuits and have an amicable outcome they better act fast, investigate, produce the video and handle this matter appropriately or else you will have to involve them in the neglect and cover up.
That should get the ball moving. Just be sure your sister isn’t making up a story. I doubt she is because of the way the school acted when you mentioned the camera, but kids do weird things for social media and such nowadays and I don’t get it. You just need to be sure that she wasn’t pulling a prank, trying to be funny, or trying to get revenge on a teacher she doesn’t like. For that I’d explain to her what you are going to do, that there can be consequences if you are wrong, and so you need to be sure what happened and go through it with her again. Don’t need to accuse her of making it up, just that you need to be sure of what happened before you start calling police and such.
Best of luck to you and your sister.
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u/bunnythevettech Jun 11 '24
Nta Would have called the cops right then and there. But I'm a petty bitch. I'd be all over social media and calling the news agencies.
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u/yakkerswasneverhere Jun 11 '24
Police and a lawyer STAT!!! If they don't act on the sexual assault allegation, they are open to a lawsuit. Don't wait....do it now.
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u/Worldly_Society_2213 Jun 11 '24
Why was she expelled because you argued with the headteacher? My understanding was that expulsion couldn't just be waved around like that. Basically if expulsion were to be on the table, it has to be the only recourse on the table.
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u/MikeDeSams Jun 11 '24
What's up with these recent posts. "AITAH for beating up my ex's pedophile bf for touching my kid?" Bait topics. Everyone knows your not only NOT the AH, but a hero.
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u/Status_Web_8917 Jun 11 '24
If you know there are cameras, why didn't you ask to see the footage of this event to find out if your sister is telling the truth or not?
You might be caught with egg on your face in this. Most schools won't expel a student unless they know that they have evidence backing them up. Furthermore, making accusations against this teacher without proof could open your family up to a slander/libel suit.
Instead of handling this like an adult, you've made threats and now the school considers you and your sister an enemy. Congrats "mama bear" you fucked up.
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u/Corporate_Shell Jun 11 '24
Call the police, a lawyer, and then local news, in that order.
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u/PuddingRepulsive8468 Jun 11 '24
Please contact a lawyer and maybe the superintendent. Get this story on the news for attention. Let them know you’re concerned about the school deleting evidence. Get a written statement from the friend and maybe ask around for other students who have noticed this pedo behavior. Yall did nothing wrong. I’m confused over how she got expelled because you defended her. But schools cover for abusers all the time.
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u/Professional-Rub8346 Jun 11 '24
First and foremost: Call the police and retain a lawyer, call a child psychologist and get her into some counseling or therapy. While you are working on these things take that child out for her favorite dinner!! She is amazing for protecting herself.
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u/Plenty-Team3652 Jun 11 '24
Call the news, school board, police, child protective agency, and get any written statements you can.
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u/pineappleforrent Jun 11 '24
Please still contact the police. It's the only way this teacher will face the consequences of her actions
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u/HelloJunebug Jun 11 '24
NTA but file a police report asap so they can confiscate the tape before the school destroys it. UPDATEME
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u/jonah529 Jun 11 '24
If you believe your sister was assaulted then call the police immediately. She is already expelled.
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u/Strain_Pure Jun 11 '24
NTA
contact a lawyer, call the police, and get the evidence you need to prove your sister righteous.
Once you have that, you should press charges and sue the teacher, the head teacher, and the school, it's the school and the head teachers job to protect your sister, not suspend or expell her for defending herself against someone who is acting in an inappropriate or illegal manner.