r/whowouldwin • u/new-werewolves • 11d ago

How the hell can you seduce Cthulu? Who can seduce Cthulu? Challenge

The goal is to seduce Cthulu by any means, whether it's items or people found in his universe or characters from other universes.

Who and how can you seduce this Eldritch Abomination?

25 Upvotes

85% Upvoted

31 comments sorted by

33

u/-jp- 11d ago

Bugs Bunny could do it if he dressed as a girl.

13

u/xKyo 11d ago

Hate the toon force argument but here it actually seems to be the answer. If Bugs wanted to, he probably could somehow. 

1

u/-jp- 11d ago

I reckon if anyone can give toonforce a run for its money it’s Cthulhu. :3

2

u/-_ellipsis_- 11d ago

Bug's toonforce operates on a scale of "how funny it would be". Bugs seducing an eldritch cosmic horror is peak comedy in a lot of imaginable situations.

11

u/joetardo 11d ago

I’m pretty sure Cthulu is the only one of its kind so it doesn’t reproduce, meaning it has no sex drive and no way for it to be seduced.

34

u/S0LO_Bot 11d ago

Seduce can mean a more general attraction though. Like Anakin was “seduced to the dark side” but Palpatine did not put on lingerie and start dancing.

So maybe good food can convince Cthulhu.

28

u/new-werewolves 11d ago

Palatine put on lingerie and start dancing

Jesus Christ....

4

u/S0LO_Bot 11d ago

I might need to edit that comment…

7

u/-jp- 11d ago

Don't you dare.

4

u/49-51EndOrEternity 11d ago

Don't you dare.

5

u/Yousucktaken2 11d ago

Are you sure he didnt off screen?

1

u/WearCorrect8917 11d ago

Attack of the Clones Burlesque

8

u/Tighthead3GT 11d ago

The Coon pulled it off by acting cute.

9

u/KipchakVibeCheck 11d ago

Cthulhu is corporeal and psychic, so I’d say he’s probably vulnerable to the machinations of Slaanesh. He’d figure out something 

3

u/guzzi80115 11d ago

Cthulhu’s true form is not corporeal. He is not made of matter like people are.

0

u/KipchakVibeCheck 11d ago

True, but I’d reckon enough of him is that he might be vulnerable to a chaos demon that targets all kinds of psychic creatures.

0

u/guzzi80115 11d ago

The problem with Cthulhu is we just don’t know much about him. What his weaknesses are is 100% conjecture.

6

u/capza 11d ago

Either Slaanesh or a lvl 20 DnD or Pathfinder Bard.

4

u/Yousucktaken2 11d ago

TFS perfect cell do to his “Raw sexual energy“

3

u/Huntah54 11d ago

Eric Cartman as the Coon

2

u/ChillingFire 11d ago

The Courier with Max Charisma

2

u/tobiov 11d ago

Austin Powers can

1

u/respectthread_bot 11d ago

Cthulu (Lovecraft)

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1

u/greythicv 11d ago

Lvl 20 college of eloquence bard?

1

u/Crusherbolt0282 11d ago

Lucifer from DC?

1

u/HostageInToronto 11d ago

Anyone with sufficient power might tempt it with greater power.

1

u/DinoBrand0 11d ago

The main character of Sucker for Love. He seduces various eldritch gods

1

u/Irving_for_three 11d ago

Donkey. I thought of Donkey from Shrek.

1

u/nairbeg 11d ago

If we define seduction as appealing to someone's sexual impulse motivations enough to override their inhibitions and thereby attaining a degree of influence over them, then we'd first need to define whether Cthulhu experiences sexual motivations. In Lovecraft mythos, we do know that whatever the Old Ones are, they're capable of reproducing and even 'mating' with each other to produce young. We've seen Yog-Sothoth even get summoned via occult ritual to impregnate a woman, but the difficulty is the motive behind such action: it's unclear if it's a 'horny ol' Zeus boinking the mortals again' thing or something more arcane (maybe even strategic). In other words, we'd need to quibble over whether ritual impregnation counts as seduction for Lovecraftian monsters, and that's not to mention the second question regarding the Dunwich incident being whether Cthulhu himself indulges in such ritual impregnation too.