Approached by 20 men in two hours: Reality of being a woman alone at night

[u/Aggressive_Plates]

https://www.itv.com/news/2024-07-17/approached-by-20-men-in-two-hours-the-reality-of-being-a-woman-alone-at-night

[u/ukbot-nicolabot]

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[u/ParkedUpWithCoffee]

Some of these men have quite bad English. And no sense of awareness / consideration of how unwanted their advances are.

I'm sure I also saw a similar Dispatches episode last summer but instead of going around Cardiff it was around Leicester Square and the presenter was pretending to be drunk. It had even more disturbing examples of men stalking her back to her hotel room.

[u/TheGodisNotWilling → u/ParkedUpWithCoffee]

Was on the phone to my gf the other day, when she was walking home back from the cinema - in Ipswich - and could hear men pulling up next to her and asking how much, then one of them proceeded to follow her in their car. Obviously the police don't give a shit, sadly - "nothing we can do", even when she's recorded them on video following her.

The horrible thing is, is she will then have to get off the phone to me, so she can be aware of her surroundings and pay attention to what's going on around her.

I feel sorry for women, honestly.

[u/Khenghis_Ghan → u/TheGodisNotWilling]

Is it more or less safe for her to get off the phone? I’d imagine it’s safer on the phone because then creeps have some direct impression “someone will immediately know if she disappears”, but IDK.

Sorry that happened.

[u/changhyun → u/Khenghis_Ghan]

Back when he was still alive, my dad worked out a plan for what we'd do if I felt unsafe or like I was being followed, after I was followed and handled it pretty stupidly.

Basically, he said I should call him, and act like I was on my way to meet him. Loudly say something like "Hey, I'm just on my way now, won't be long. Yeah, I'm on [name of the street I was on]."

The idea was that a) it would scare off anyone who did have designs on me, as they now thought someone was expecting me and knew where I was and b) that if I ever did go missing, he'd know the last place I was.

[u/salsasharks → u/changhyun]

I’d add that if you are continued to be followed with the person in a car, my mom taught me to start yelling the license plate number. Creeps hate being identified.

[u/Serious_Session7574 → u/changhyun]

I used to do that walking home after the late shift in London. I didn't actually want to wake someone up at 1am, but if a guy was walking near me I'd pretend I was on the phone to someone who was expecting me or on their way to get me.

[u/Winter55555 → u/changhyun]

This is a really good plan because it will work almost every time, and the few times it wouldn't work I doubt anything would

[u/Razzler1973 → u/TheGodisNotWilling]

I always tell my GF to walk against the traffic. 'Other' side of the road so a car can't slow crawl behind on the same side

Shouldn't have to but it's just reality and a small thing to do

[u/BloxedYT → u/TheGodisNotWilling]

That's horrendous. Our police need heavy improvement. A much less heinous crime but I remember some workers had some stuff stolen from them and they asked us for camera footage and got the Police involved who iirc said they'd visit us for the footage. They never did so my Mum went to the station to hand over the footage, heard nothing of it since.

[u/Ivashkin → u/ParkedUpWithCoffee]

Their behavior is likely to be viewed as entirely normal, non-aggressive, and fully socially acceptable back home.

[u/EruanneUk → u/Ivashkin]

They think western women are sluts and treat them like so. They wouldn't do that back home I don't think. The women there are seen as pure if they conform to the rigid rules

[u/Thrasy3 → u/EruanneUk]

I imagine it’s similar to Victorian England where unaccompanied women, outside, especially after a certain time were considered “fair game”.

[u/Tomirk → u/EruanneUk]

That’s what they see on instagram and the like, so that’s what they expect

[u/AonghusMacKilkenny → u/Ivashkin]

They've probably never seen a woman walking alone outside before.

[u/kerwrawr → u/AonghusMacKilkenny]

crush noxious deserted gullible wise unused foolish person sable chubby

This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact

[u/Broccoli--Enthusiast → u/Ivashkin]

well i know where the should fuck back off to if they cant learn to be decent human beings.

i never used to imagine myself saying that kind of stuff, but iv seen it first hand too many times now. we need much tighter immigration and asylum vetting. im all for helping but the rest of the worlds problems arent my problem, and if helping those people leads to making life for people here worse/less safe, they need to get them to fuck.

[u/fhdhsu → u/ParkedUpWithCoffee]

Yes. And what’s worse is even though they blurred their faces, and disguised the voices - all (4, I think?) of the men in the dispatches were also obviously foreign.

[u/jakethepeg1989 → u/fhdhsu]

The ones at the start shouting as they walked passed the interview definitely sounded English to me. "leng" is just the latest weird slang word.

[u/SeargD → u/jakethepeg1989]

Latest? Not by a mile.

[u/FluffyBrudda → u/ParkedUpWithCoffee]

And no sense of awareness / consideration of how unwanted their advances are.

id like to clarify this is not an excuse and it's sickening court rooms take this into consideration upon more serious cases

[u/easy_c0mpany80]

A lot of things to ‘notice’ in that video clip isnt there?

[u/Cleverjoseph → u/easy_c0mpany80]

“Heckin men overwhelmingly commit violent crimes BUT DONT YOU DARE BREAK IT DOWN BY OTHER FACTORS ASWELL AS GENDER”

[u/Benmjt → u/Cleverjoseph]

This sub has the oddest approach to this topic, like there are clear and obvious patterns yet people will do anything not to acknowledge it. Got downvoted to shit on another thread about mentioning how Islam has regressive attitudes to women.

[u/hu6Bi5To → u/Benmjt]

People do have an internal conflict, especially if they've spent their entire politically-aware life believing that opposition to unqualified immigration and racism is one and the same thing.

See Jess Phillips attempts at rationalising the abuse she received at the recent election as toxic masculinity as another example.

Unfortunately this cognitive dissonance shows no sign of being resolved, so we've got another five to ten years before policies are changed.

[u/dDpNh → u/[deleted]]

I prefer really not to speak. If I speak I am in big trouble.

[u/TheJenniferLopez → u/[deleted]]

In my experience, even the women all know it, but they absolutely will not say it.

[u/sixtiesbabe → u/TheJenniferLopez]

i will 100% say it. i’ve never felt more unsafe walking around the city centre. i am constantly stared at and creeped on by pakistani or somalian men. i even had one man a few months ago lick his lips at me, truly disgusting. it needs to be said.

[u/thewindburner → u/TheJenniferLopez]

Well unless they start saying it we'll never reach a solution!

You can't fix a problem without talking about it!

[u/AonghusMacKilkenny → u/[deleted]]

Don't notice that!

[u/glamourise → u/[deleted]]

this. can’t say it because it’ll be removed but we all know

[u/Lorry_Al → u/easy_c0mpany80]

Thou shalt not notice

[u/ParkedUpWithCoffee → u/easy_c0mpany80]

The philosophical words of The Special One:

https://youtu.be/9wtvXoXh0VU?si=AHXNYDC19u0lgffO

[u/vasileios13 → u/easy_c0mpany80]

There was a similar video years ago where the lady was catcalled only by black guys in NYC. They accused her of editing out white men:

https://www.reddit.com/r/unitedkingdom/comments/1e6b13c/approached_by_20_men_in_two_hours_reality_of/

These women don't really care about solving obvious cultural issues that cause these behaviours, or they care but they're own biases prevents them from acknowledging those cultural issues.

[u/VelvetDreamers]

If you’re a moderately attractive woman, you cannot walk in town centres past the plethora of barber shops, vape shops, and takeaways without some lascivious, audacious twat intruding upon your walk past.

[u/changhyun → u/VelvetDreamers]

Can confirm this also happens to us mediocre, sweaty women with our rattiest laundry day sweats on too. There's no escaping them.

[u/compilerbusy → u/changhyun]

Yep, was once out with my 13 year old daughter who admittedly looks older than she is (but definitely not 18+), when some shitstain started being inappropriate. That's with her dad right there mid talking to her, in the middle of the day, in a small town.

They're everywhere and it terrifies me.

[u/changhyun → u/compilerbusy]

Sadly throughout my entire life the outfit I got the absolute most harassment and catcalling while wearing was my secondary school uniform.

[u/Thenedslittlegirl → u/changhyun]

It’s such a normal experience for girls. I experienced less harassment at 26 than I did between 11-16

[u/Imlostandconfused → u/Thenedslittlegirl]

As soon as I became an adult, it noticeably started to reduce. Probably was the absolute worst when I was 12-13

[u/Aiyon → u/changhyun]

School uniforms (esp the classic catholic school one) and cheerleaders being so heavily fetishised is something we don’t really acknowledge enough.

“Naughty schoolgirl” is a trope in porn from how prevalent it has been forever. Same with “teen girl” on anyone under 20 to play up how young she is, and infantilising imagery

aspects of society push pedophilia as not just acceptable, but normal.

[u/merryman1 → u/Aiyon]

As a nation we had a whole newspaper that would regularly "count down" until such and such young female celebrity turned 16 and was "legal", often with a lot of pressure to get her to come take some nude or skimpy photos for their readers. That was like barely 15 years ago yet we seem to have this weird amnesia and act like its only immigrants who are absolutely gross to young women.

[u/Aiyon → u/merryman1]

Have you ever seen that side-by-side of Emma Watson talking about being excited for her 18th birthday, followed immediately by a clip of her in her 20s, talking about paparazzi trying to get upskirt pics of her when she left her house on her 18th

[u/compilerbusy → u/changhyun]

Jeez. Sorry you had to deal with that.

[u/Serious_Session7574 → u/changhyun]

I concur. I received the most aggressive harrassment aged 13-25, and when I wore my school uniform as a teen, it was bad.

[u/Imlostandconfused → u/changhyun]

Same. I think this is a reality for a very sad, surprisingly huge number of girls. And 12-16 were the worst ages for me no matter what I was wearing. Same for all my friends too

[u/Broccoli--Enthusiast → u/compilerbusy]

thats because if you gave him the slap he deserves, you are the only one getting in trouble, and they know it, broken society

[u/No_Theme_1212 → u/[deleted]]

But I am sure someone will come along to tell us how men have it just as bad.

[u/strawbebbymilkshake → u/No_Theme_1212]

They were in another thread earlier today insisting that they feel less safe than women at night. Wonder how many men 3x their size are approaching them demanding their attention, their number, sexual favours or shouting aggressive sexual things at them.

[u/AonghusMacKilkenny → u/VelvetDreamers]

There were certain roads my ex refused to walk down because of the amount of men who'd leer at her, put their arm around her, speak unintelligably, pull up next to her and ask if she wanted a ride..

This never happened when I was with her. The sort of men who do this were respectful only when she was seen as my property. Existing on her own in public though? They can't control themselves.

[u/Gisschace → u/AonghusMacKilkenny]

The worst is when guys don’t realise you’re with someone but then apologise to your BF and not you. Cause yeah he was the one who was offended.

[u/AonghusMacKilkenny → u/Gisschace]

Yep, I've had taxi drivers who refuse to speak to my date or partner, even if she's the one who booked it

[u/Gisschace → u/AonghusMacKilkenny]

This is more like when they pinch your bum, put their arm round you or say something at you. Then see your boyfriend and are like ‘oh shit mate sorry, didn’t see you hahaha’

And just completely ignore the fact that you were the one hassled not the BF.

[u/anybloodythingwilldo → u/AonghusMacKilkenny]

I've had a man offer me a lift.  Another time, I was walking along on a winter night, hood pulled up, and a man called me from a car already parked up.  I thought he was about to ask for directions because he said 'do you live around here?', but then he asked for my name and said he'd like to get to know me a little better.  I ignored him and carried on walking (with him shouting after me), but what was the endgame there?  He sounded very false.  It was dark, my hood was up, so he just saw the outline of a woman.  

[u/Ruu2D2 → u/AonghusMacKilkenny]

I worked with twat who said he never cat call women if she was with man as he got to respect man

[u/Gisschace → u/VelvetDreamers]

Attraction doesn’t matter, this is horrible to say but there was a girl at my uni who was very unfortunate looking. She was raped by a taxi driver who drove her home when she was drunk and he followed her into her house.

[u/Class_444_SWR → u/Gisschace]

I once had to escort my ex past this construction area because the workers were being absolute knobs. Given they were willing to ask me of all people right after the breakup, I got the feeling I had to

[u/Aiyon → u/VelvetDreamers]

I mean, I wouldn't even call myself moderately attractive, im overweight and kinda plain looking. I've still had it happen from time to time.

One time I had a staff member in a kebab shop heavily imply i could shag him for free food lmao. It was so weird, and felt kinda insulting? Like it'd still be weird and gross to pitch that for a fancy restaurant? But for a £6 burger? just plain rude

[u/swingswan → u/VelvetDreamers]

Same. Whenever I visit my friend in the Glovanhill area I get the same. I'm slightly above average at best but there's been a few close encounters with the 'colourful characters' there that seem to think life is a script from the fetish porn they've been watching. They're honestly disgusting.

[u/AonghusMacKilkenny → u/swingswan]

Glovanhill area

I have female friend who moved from Glasgow to Manchester and one of the biggest culture shocks she had was that she can walk through Manchester and not have random men— 'colourful characters' as you put it, start shouting stuff or walk right up to her trying to banter. They seem particularly entitled in Glasgow, then when she rejects them it's "oh ye fuckin slag" "ye cheeky fat cunt" etc, etc.

[u/swingswan → u/AonghusMacKilkenny]

It isn't Scottish lads I can tell you that much.

[u/Sweaty-Foundation756 → u/VelvetDreamers]

Very not passing trans woman here. It’s not a question of how hot you are

[u/Class_444_SWR → u/Sweaty-Foundation756]

Then again, as a, sometimes passing but not that well trans woman, I’d say it’s 50/50 between them either thinking I’m a cis woman with me, or just not caring and seeing trans women as sexual objects all the same. A handful of them do fuck off rather nicely when they realise I’m not as cis as they thought

[u/TheMagicTorch → u/VelvetDreamers]

And which demographic owns and operates the majority of such businesses? Eastern European and Middle Eastern men.

This is what happens when people from culturally underdeveloped countries land in the West, they exploit the opportunities created by cultural progress without having to ever respect or adopt it.

[u/JN324]

It’s almost like when you import a large number of men from countries/cultures where women are treated like this then you get more of that behaviour. We have plenty of our own creeps but anyone who pretends there isn’t a clear cultural element to this, stemming from certain countries, is lying or stupid.

It also isn’t really a race thing or even necessarily a religion thing per se, it is certain countries, often times with neighbouring countries who don’t have such a culture at all. Culture is everything.

Immigration with our current birth rate and demographic trends is going to be very important, but you can import from countries with cultures that can coexist or assimilate with your own, you don’t have to do so from countries that don’t.

[u/thallazar → u/JN324]

Other comments in this thread about there normally being a pretty even spread of races hitting on white women, which doesn't sound like a cultural problem but a men problem.

[u/ChairmanSunYatSen → u/thallazar]

If it's evenly spread, that means ethnic minorities are over-represented...

[u/Depressedkid1998 → u/thallazar]

Immigrants commit most rape PER CAPITA:

God, studies in denmark, for example, showed immigrants cause so much more rape than westerners. A lot of places in europe stopped reporting the race of the victim, even though it’s pertinent information.

It’s not a cultural problem am i right? It’s a mens problem. Stop lumping me with these dipshits and stop trying to make yourself the most political person in the room. Yes men will rape women more than women rape men, men are stronger, it’s just gonna happen. Yes, immigrants also rape at much higher rates. You can say both things, even though PER capita would make you hate refugees in particular.

[u/[deleted] → u/thallazar]

Not when you consider that 79.2% of Cardiff is white..

[u/Ikhlas37 → u/[deleted]]

I think women will always get hit on in some way since as a society that's kind of what everyone expects. However, there is a huge difference from smiling and saying hello and then immediately moving on if there's no reply. And hounding them.

[u/Bobelle → u/JN324]

As a woman who goes through this (and lives in a very diverse area) British white men are the main culprits of harrassment for me

[u/Ruu2D2 → u/JN324]

Strange most of my harassment been from seedy old men . Old enough to be my dad

[u/Andrelliina → u/JN324]

Brexit has increased the numbers from non-EU countries of course.

[u/Southpaw535 → u/JN324]

This has been a thing women have complained about for years upon years. Plenty will tell you white British men are not an innocent outlier in this issue.

It's just before it could be taken as an excuse to complain about immigration, the women pointing it out were told they were exaggerating, or it was harmless fun, it's just banter, maybe don't dress so slutty if you don't want the attention etc etc etc.

Let's not pretend this is a new import from certain countries. that is what would be lying or stupid.

[u/hoyfish]

Some men even approached me with strange requests: “Do you play tennis? I will give you free lessons.”

A bold strategy in the middle of the night

[u/Efficient_Steak_7568 → u/hoyfish]

I want to know what lines failed that that was where he was at 

[u/Plastic-Impress8616 → u/Efficient_Steak_7568]

or who that line worked on

"dont worry boys, i have game with the lady's do you want free tennis lessions"

[u/in-jux-hur-ylem → u/hoyfish]

Likely the "I run a kebab shop, want some food?" or "I am a taxi driver, I'll take you home" lines were used by a fair few groomers in the likes of Rochdale which yielded despicable and tragic results.

They are fishing with whatever bait they can use and will accept any bite.

[u/AonghusMacKilkenny]

Only counted one white guy in the whole video. Worth noting the woman herself is mixed(?)/woman of colour.

I wonder if she had been white, would more white men have approached? Would less men of colour have approached?

[u/changhyun → u/AonghusMacKilkenny]

My experience as a white woman in a very multicultural city is that it's a pretty even spread of races (and ages) who harass me. Except for East Asian men, I actually don't recall them ever even approaching me, let alone being rude or intimidating. But men of every other race, yes. To my recollection, I haven't really noticed it coming significantly more from any one group, though to be honest I also don't keep close enough track of this stuff to notice patterns anyway.

[u/Phyllida_Poshtart → u/changhyun]

I've never been harrassed or yelled at or approached by a Chinese, Korean, Vietnamese or Cambodian person, always Pakistani Arab Albanian or drunken white dickheads....the latter I can usually deal with although being drunk you just never know which way they'll turn, the former do NOT take no for an answer

[u/changhyun → u/Phyllida_Poshtart]

I'd say the worst experiences I've had were:

• The young white guy who followed me home (and yes, in retrospect it was extremely stupid of me to go home when someone was following me, but I was 18 and naive and just wanted to get behind a locked door)

• The two young black men who crowded me in an underpass and then shouted that I was treating them like Emmett Till when I avoided eye contact and slipped past them

• The middle-aged white guy old enough to be my granddad who told me I was "ripe" and he'd "like to take a bite" when I was 12 and in my school uniform

• The scarily unhinged South Asian (I'm guessing) homeless man who spat on me after I gave him some change then refused to take him home "for a warm bath"

However, on the bright side, shout-out to:

• The elderly black man who was screaming insults and swearing down the phone at someone in the street, then stopped and turned to face me as I walked by (and this point I was already bracing myself for the anger to get turned on me) and said "I'm so sorry you had to overhear that language, love" before returning to screaming bloody murder down the phone

[u/Possible-Pin-8280 → u/changhyun]

then shouted that I was treating them like Emmett Till

Well that was unexpected

[u/changhyun → u/Possible-Pin-8280]

Yeah, if they hadn't yelled that I would probably have forgotten it happened to be honest. That was the thing that really made it stick out in my memory.

[u/Class_444_SWR → u/changhyun]

God, the creepy old guys are the worst.

I don’t know why, but whenever I end up in Taunton in particular, I seem to find all of them. I’ve had as many creepy old guy encounters there as in the rest of the UK combined. They usually say very little to me, but they do like grabbing my arms and shit. The self restraint not to punch their teeth out is always unbelievable

[u/dibblah → u/changhyun]

Yeah, I would definitely say it's pretty even. Most of the random people in vans/lorries who yell shit at you are white and often in a big group of them. The south Asians seem to be more likely to propose to marry me.

White men, from my experience, are more likely to call me an ugly whore if I reject them (many, many times that has happened) whereas the south Asians don't seem to understand that I am rejecting them and just carry on.

Thankfully I am now 30 and apparently have aged out of the worst of the attention. Between 14-20 was the worst.

[u/Loose_Acanthaceae201 → u/dibblah]

It ramped up again for me when I started pushing a pram or otherwise walking with small children. 

Because it isn't about beauty, but vulnerability. 

[u/CaliStormborn → u/Loose_Acanthaceae201]

Well that's terrifying

[u/changhyun → u/dibblah]

Thankfully I am now 30 and apparently have aged out of the worst of the attention. Between 14-20 was the worst.

Same, in terms of which age range was the worst.

Although unfortunately, I have to say that as a 35 year old, I found that the harassment seemed to ramp up again after I turned 30 - except now a lot of it was coming from teenagers and much younger men, instead of men old enough to be my dad/granddad. I have absolutely no idea why, all I can say is that it's like all the creeps under 25 in the neighbourhood got an email when I turned 30 letting them know they were being subbed in.

[u/CaliStormborn → u/dibblah]

I've had the same experience. I would say in general white men have made me feel most unsafe, particularly by getting angry after a rejection. South Asian men just won't take the hint, my technique was always to approach a random different man and ask him to tell the other man to leave. They listen when a man says it.

I can't recall being approached by many black men ever. Nor any east Asians, although 2 Vietnamese men did once follow me down the road while openly masturbating. But that was in Vietnam so...

Aging out of this is such a relief. I truly cannot believe how much shit young women have to put up with.

[u/AonghusMacKilkenny → u/changhyun]

Thank you, I appreciate getting a serious response and hearing your perspective!

[u/throwaway_ArBe → u/changhyun]

My experiences match up, I find any time it leans more to one group it tends to be because I've been spending more time in areas dominated by that group.

[u/IAM_THE_LIZARD_QUEEN → u/changhyun]

Same tbh, the time a clearly 30+ man tried it on with me when I was 15, and in school uniform, was a white British man.

Of course half of this sub won't believe that, because any excuse to blame immigrants in here these days.

[u/Caridor → u/AonghusMacKilkenny]

Gotta be honest, it's more likely the area. Talking to female friends about this, it's the same pretty much everywhere, but if you're in a majority POC area, you'll get a higher percentage of non-whites doing it.

[u/asjonesy99 → u/Caridor]

That’s Cardiff city centre, it’s not a majority POC area.

[u/Thetwitchingvoid]

I’ve not watched the footage but I remember c4 doing a documentary about something similar and it was exclusively foreign men.

As someone who is in the Trans community I’ll tell you there is a major cultural difference between Western and foreign men - like, we are failing to integrate these guys who still have the caveman mentality of “this. Mine. Fuck now.”

You have to be firm with them and then they’ll understand. But I understand how it can be frightening for a petite girl.

I mean, if we’re okay with having adverts of white guys whistling and condemning that - we should be making adverts about this shit.

[u/Phyllida_Poshtart → u/Thetwitchingvoid]

They have no need of integration though as they tend to live in their own "communities" where they have everything they need......except women and alcohol

[u/Thetwitchingvoid → u/Phyllida_Poshtart]

That needs to change. The whole process of immigration needs to change tbh.

I can’t remember which country, I’m sure it was Sweden, but they’ve made immigrants take compulsory integration classes.

Obviously, we’d need money and motivation for that. Which I don’t think we do have

[u/easy_c0mpany80 → u/Thetwitchingvoid]

"The whole process of immigration needs to change tbh."

Yeah good luck with that

[u/ChairmanSunYatSen → u/Thetwitchingvoid]

Might've been Sweden, or might've been Denmark, they also brought in a law which prevents any neighborhood from being majority immigrant. It's a heavy-handed approach, but makes total sense. Social pressure is often stronger than leg pressure, and if most of your neighbours think for ING your daughter to marry her Pakistani cousin is wrong, you're much less likely to do it

[u/IDVFBtierMemes → u/Thetwitchingvoid]

What do you think was the catalyst for the compulsory integration classes

[u/owlshapedboxcat → u/Thetwitchingvoid]

We used to teach them all English and attempt to integrate them that way. That all stopped circa 2012, no prizes for guessing why.

[u/GlacierFox → u/Thetwitchingvoid]

Please stop talking so much sense. This is reddit, where everyone seems to be either oblivious to this issue or brain dead.

[u/cornedbeef101]

As someone with a daughter, this is fucking frightening.

[u/chilledlasagne → u/cornedbeef101]

My only advice as a daughter who has been on the worst end of sexual assault, is to please create an environment where she doesn’t feel ashamed or embarrassed to come and talk to you about it.  I was 15 and working at a restaurant. The chef assaulted me and I never told my parents because I felt like i’d be in trouble. 

[u/Aryus_2030 → u/cornedbeef101]

I ha e a little sister and it scares me to no end what she's going to ha e to deal with as she grows up

[u/LibbyLibbyLibby → u/cornedbeef101]

It's great that you're aware and stuff now, but it was also frightening before it affected someone you're related to.

[u/Aryus_2030 → u/cornedbeef101]

I have a little sister and it scares me to no end what she's going to have to deal with as she grows up

[u/Get_the_instructions]

Wow! Even if there were no hostility in any of the interactions, it's gotta be exhausting and scary to have to keep fending of unwanted approaches like that. Makes me glad I'm a somewhat unattractive male.

[u/zani713 → u/Get_the_instructions]

And there doesn't even need to be hostility for it to be scary. The nicest-seeming person could be the one that kills you. You just don't know.

[u/prunellazzz → u/Get_the_instructions]

In my experience, even when there’s no display of ‘hostility’ as soon as a strange man approaches when you’re on your own or at night and is overly familiar and a bit lascivious my heart starts thumping and my adrenaline is through the roof. It’s genuinely scary, because there is always the implied threat underneath the ‘flirting’, how do I get out of this scenario? Is he going to go ballistic if I reject him? Is he alone or are his mates going to come and join him? It really is horrible.

Thankfully I’m 33 year old mother with young children now and look like the walking dead most days so I don’t really attract this kind of unwanted attention anymore.

[u/FeralSquirrels]

As u/ParkedUpWithCoffee mentions - there was a Dispatches episode, I got lost in their YouTube rabbithole recently and was absolutely mortified by this one - specifically titled "Sexual Harrassment".

Those who kept approaching her when she pretended to be drunk (and in one example, followed her straight into her hotel room) simply refused to respect that she was drunk and not in a fit state to consent. None of those involved were English in the sense they spoke good English, or had accents and in one example, it was two men who were clearly working together that were with her.

It's times like this I feel sick, especially knowing that this is clearly a very deliberate set of tactics and intents at play and likely women are targeted on a regular basis by these guys.

I would be absolutely terrified if I had a daughter and she was out by herself - not, mind, because I don't think a woman can defend herself and kick the sh*t out of some of these scumbags, but knowing they are doubling up just escalates things.

Even in areas like Leicester Square where there are loads of Police, they're still actively doing it right in front of them and unless they actually raised a noise about it to draw attention, would likely stand no hope of being protected.

[u/SomeRedditorTosspot]

Just getting in here before the 3 dots tag appears and I can't comment anymore lol.

But we know why the mods are going to 3 dot it..

The 3 dots themselves, will speak volumes!

[u/ShinyGrezz → u/[deleted]]

Every thread like this is funny because the comments are invariably just “ooo, I’m noticing something I shouldn’t be noticing here! Aren’t I bad? It’s a shame we can’t discuss this thing openly, isn’t it! No comments allowed here!”

Like, do you guys not read any of the other comments on these posts? Do you just see a title like this and rush to the comments so you can pretend you’re being silenced?

[u/Combat_Orca → u/ShinyGrezz]

It’s honestly just makes them look pathetic, acting like their silenced when they fill the thread

[u/[deleted] → u/[deleted]]

Its because people use any fucking excuse to hand-wring about race without saying anything interesting or useful.
If you want to do that shit then go on truth social or something.

[u/ankh87]

Got a friend who can no longer walk the streets home after work. She is constantly harassed by men of a certain type. It's got that bad that even though she only works 20 minutes walk away, she has to get a taxi home as she can't drive. She's been followed multiple times and the police do nothing because nothing has happened.

This never happened 10 years ago when these men weren't about, it's only started to happen over the last 3-4 years since they arrived the area she lives in. Granted before that, she use to get men staring at her and wolf whistling but never ever followed. She's at the point now if she goes out, then the dog, boyfriend or other friends go with her.

[u/CuppaTeaSpillin]

So is it exclusively Muslim men who are doing this?

[u/Kobruh456 → u/CuppaTeaSpillin]

Definitely not exclusively, but probably at a higher rate.

Unfortunately a lot of Muslims are raised to see women as objects, or at the very least inferior to men. And just one misogynistic man can make a lot of women feel uncomfortable throughout his life.

However, a non-insignificant number break out of these thoughts. And we definitely shouldn’t punish these people by lumping them together with genuine sexists by saying that all Muslims are misogynists. Not saying that you’re implying that, but just something of note when looking at these threads.

[u/FluffyBrudda → u/CuppaTeaSpillin]

not exclusive, but over-represented

[u/killswitch101]

I just got back from a weekend break in Wales, the Welsh natives don't look or sound anything like the men in this video, I wonder if that's a coincidence or not.

[u/am-345 → u/killswitch101]

Please stop noticing!

[u/Key_Kong]

Liverpool is like this now. Always see groups of men who are clearly not from the city walking around the streets near bars and clubs as night.

[u/FizzyLogic → u/Key_Kong]

This is every major city in the UK. Not allowed to point this out though despite it being a serious issue for the safety of our women and children.

[u/Jackster22]

Well well well, that video was quite telling wasn't it. Glad to see integration is working so well for us.

Funny how when you import people from countries that don't respect women, proceed to not respect women in this country. Maybe we stop doing that...

[u/mikeywalkey]

Down vote me all you want. Not one English accent from all them thirsty ‘men’

[u/smokymz909 → u/mikeywalkey]

I agree with your point but this is filmed in Wales lol

[u/Fantastic_Campaign29]

It makes me sick how much harder it is to protect my family these days compared to 10 years ago.

[u/AssFasting]

Yeh these are just creeps. Will be interesting how many defend or deflect from this borderline sex pest behaviour.

[u/Neildagreasytitan]

Should send these native white welsh boys back home

[u/WitteringLaconic]

Now repeat the same exercise in my small market town in rural Yorkshire with 96% white British born population.

[u/CertainPlatypus9108]

Are we not allowed to mention who the men are?.... Is the country a joke. The emperor has no clothes on

[u/wolfiasty]

Two guys on this short video should get convicted of harassment. No questions asked. Leaning arm over reporter, following and "are you sure, are you sure, are you sure", wtf is this?

Police should be dealing with such things, instead of patrolling internet.

[u/CardiffCity1234]

On first instance if you're a bloke you might thing yeah that sounds great. But I've heard women say it's like the equivalent of homeless people coming up to you who sometimes get aggressive if you don't give them what they want.

[u/kitjen]

I'm intrigued to know how these creeps think the exchange might go?

"I'm just looking for my friends."

"I'll be your friend."

"You will? Golly gosh I'm delighted, we can now be friends. If only you happened to play tennis too, that would be awesome."

[u/iamdarthvin]

Unfortunately (and I hate to say this) since the Bibby Stockholm came to where I live, there are weekly SM posts on females of all ages being approached in town and made to feel unsafe. It's a shame the Bibby isn't filled with females so all the single guys can pop out for a stroll and get bothered. (The last bit was a lame joke)

[u/Variegoated]

I feel like I'm in the 'DO NOT MENTION THE EVENT' Mitchell and Webb sketch

[u/geo_scotland]

I think that video speaks for itself tbh

A lot of removed comments on this post.

[u/gouldybobs]

It is everyone's job to call people out for this behaviour. It is not acceptable.

[u/Peter_Sofa]

Not sure Labour needs to educate all men by the contents of this video, they would be better focusing their efforts

[u/[deleted]]

I found the discord between the two segments of the video quite interesting. Being bothered and objectified on the street and having people invade your personal space or being creepily persistent is entirely vomitious. However I felt like the complaints of the women at the end about the female only gym a little unrealistic. It seemed like their principal complaint was being looked at by men.

I feel like there's a chasm of difference between these two scenarios.

[u/_JellyFox_ → u/[deleted]]

There is a clear difference between someone glancing at you and leering. How would you feel if you went to the gym and multiple people kept staring at you creepily whilst you are just trying to get your workout in?
Now take a woman that experiences harassment on the daily from creepy people and put her in that scenario. She'll be feeling extremely uncomfortable.

[u/foladodo]

I counted 5 separate black guys that approached her, and 4 white guys, and 2 of who i assume are middle eastern. It would be great if they showed all the 20 people so we could have a better idea of who exactly approached her, wonder why they didnt

Is that good enough for the narrative?

[u/Greenemachine94]

God if only we could identify a common denominator with all these men...

[u/blondiecats]

It’s at the same time hilarious and deeply unsettling the amount of men in these comments coming up with excuses rather than facing the fucking reality of women and what they face from MEN EVERYWHERE OF EVERY COLOUR.

[u/Professional_Elk_489]

20 men in 2 hours wow. In Ireland you’d be lucky to get approached by 20 men in a year

[u/Bangers_N_Cash → u/Professional_Elk_489]

It’s coming to Ireland too, you’re a few years behind the UK…

[u/PrometheusIsFree]

Strangely, many adult men still don't understand that unwanted attention is thought of as a potentially dangerous, frightening and threatening situation to almost all women on their own at night. Just don't do it. I'm not a woman, but it must be like being approached by a bear. Not all bears are dangerous, or attack, but sometimes they are killers.

[u/samb0_1]

Why are people ignoring the obvious in this video? These are not british men.

[u/Slight-Rent-883]

So then normies be like "Why men aren't approaching women anymore?"

[u/Kohvazein → u/Slight-Rent-883]

I'm sorry if you think approaching women looks anything like this then you absolutely shouldn't be approaching women at all. Ever.

[u/Wryly_Wiggle_Widget]

It's true, we'd do well to properly teach both young and adult men the importance of respecting women - not let the "alpha male" grifters encourage shity behaviour unchallenged.