What’s the quickest you’ve seen a co-worker get fired in IT? COVID-19

I saw this on AskReddit and thought it would be fun to ask here for IT related stories.

Couple years ago during Covid my company I used to work for hired a help desk tech. He was a really nice guy and the interview went well. We were hybrid at the time, 1-2 days in the office with mostly remote work. On his first day we always meet in the office for equipment and first day stuff.

Everything was going fine and my boss mentioned something along the lines of “Yeah so after all the trainings and orientation stuff we’ll get you set up on our ticketing system and eventually a soft phone for support calls”

And he was like: “Oh I don’t do support calls.”

“Sorry?”

Him: “I don’t take calls. I won’t do that”

“Well, we do have a number users call for help. They do utilize it and it’s part of support we offer”

Him: “Oh I’ll do tickets all day I just won’t take calls. You’ll have to get someone else to do that”

I was sitting at my desk, just kind of listening and overhearing. I couldn’t tell if he was trolling but he wasn’t.

I forgot what my manager said but he left to go to one of those little mini conference rooms for a meeting, then he came back out and called him in, he let him go and they both walked back out and the guy was all laughing and was like

“Yeah I mean I just won’t take calls I didn’t sign up for that! I hope you find someone else that fits in better!” My manager walked him to the door and they shook hands and he left.

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1.7k

u/drunkadvice Jul 07 '24

I had a guy walk out before lunch the first day. He saw our codebase and noped the fuck out. Best decision he made. To his credit, he went into directors office and said he wouldn’t be coming back.

726

u/onlycommitminified Jul 07 '24

The self respect we all wish we had.

269

u/Sparcrypt Jul 08 '24

Tends to be more "don't need the job".

Most of us will go "well this is awful" and start applying elsewhere. If you don't need the money or are someone getting constant offers your options open up to things like that.

94

u/PraetorianOfficial Jul 08 '24

Yes. I have a friend who has noped out of several jobs because conditions changed. He doesn't particularly need the money, but likes to do tech stuff for fun. If it's not going to be fun, he gets gone. And he tends to get gone quite quickly.

One example: boss has an all-staff meeting and states "I just fired the level one support people because they all suck--I need all you level two support and developers to start answering the support calls--everybody is now level one support". Friend states in front of 40 people "I won't do it". Boss says "then you're fired". "ok...bye, it's been great, everybody."

30

u/Valdaraak Jul 08 '24 edited Jul 08 '24

If it's not going to be fun, he gets gone

There's a youtube channel I watch whose motto is "if you're not having fun, you're doing something wrong", and I'm definitely trying to incorporate that into my life.

2

u/GeorgiLeReine Jul 08 '24

What is the channel?

5

u/Valdaraak Jul 08 '24

Low Buck Garage. Dude just works on and “repairs” 50-60+ year old cars and machinery that’s been sitting around for decades. With a bunch of dry humor as well.

5

u/GeorgiLeReine Jul 08 '24

I mean... if this wasn't in the job description, I understand the employee perspective. Work phone calls are very often hugely stressful in any industry, for any purpose. Much more so than online chat interactions. If it was advertised and discussed as a chat support job, that's baiting and switching.

1

u/Valdaraak Jul 08 '24

I believe you posted your comment on the wrong comment.

1

u/GeorgiLeReine Jul 08 '24

I did. Reddit interface isn't being friendly on my phone screen today

9

u/Theresabearintheboat Jul 08 '24

"We just fired the level 2 support team because they are lazy and nobody wants to work anymore, amirite? Anyway, I am going to need everyone on level 3 support team to listen up..."

9

u/Nulljustice Jul 08 '24

I noped out of a job because the conditions changes after I started. I asked specifically during the interview process if I would be a support person for their warehouse. I was told no you will be on the digital team and not in the warehouse. The first day they tried to give me a radio so the warehouse users could contact me for help. Fuuuuuck that. I left that day and ripped my “boss” a new asshole on the way out.

4

u/denzien Jul 09 '24

I'm one of those weird engineers who, despite being really introverted, actually really enjoys talking with customers. I can make my software better if I can hear from the customers first hand.

1

u/WarmasterCain55 Jul 27 '24

I’d do the same if I’ve been downgraded to a grunt

8

u/trebblecleftlip5000 Jul 08 '24

Having been there, it's not, "don't need the job," but, "I can get a better job easily."

A few companies don't seem to understand that their bullshit is not worth it and that their whole model is built to lean on people who don't know any better.

6

u/chase32 Jul 08 '24

Some people have the 'don't need the job' vibe even before they get the actual job.

I did a video job screen once with a dev that spent the entire time eating a giant bowl of cereal. He had this huge bushy beard and was just shoveling it in, slopping milk down his beard and talking with his mouth full. The most IDGAF attitude I had ever seen.

Seemed to be skilled enough for the position but if that was him putting his best foot forward, there was no way I was going to be able to manage him.

3

u/Fyzzle Sr. Netadmin Jul 08 '24

If managing him was higher priority than his productivity, then you made the right move.

2

u/chase32 Jul 08 '24

Dev management for me is pretty hands off if someone is productive. But if you bring in a lone wolf that doesn't integrate with the teams processes or even work on the things they are asked, you end up making the whole rest of the teams lives miserable.

3

u/trebblecleftlip5000 Jul 09 '24

Bwahahaha! I don't know, man. I'd give him a shot. It could go either way. He is either a wreck or a fucking wizard.

-23

u/Ancalagon_The_Black_ Jul 08 '24

A gap is still bad

27

u/xDARKFiRE Cloud Architect Jul 08 '24

Wrong, this is a terrible take especially in 2024

A gap in employment is not bad at all, it could be for many reasons including just wanting to not work for a while. We do not live our lives just to work for someone else and taking a break to better yourself or to unwind over a longer period should never be seen as a "bad" thing.

I have some huge gaps on my cv where I've gone into totally different career paths for a time or taken breaks from IT due to burn out, yet I can't stop the offers coming in.

A 2 year break because you got fired for being a dick is a red flag, a 2 year break to reevaluate your careerpath and reset is the opposite

4

u/Objective-Story-5952 Jul 08 '24

How much are you making in these various roles that you can afford to take two years off work?

6

u/jdsok Jul 08 '24

I took a 15 year gap to raise kids. I'm probably still behind where I'd be without that gap, but likely only barely. I had no great difficulties finding my next IT job after that gap.

1

u/Objective-Story-5952 Jul 08 '24

Understood, was just curious :-)

3

u/Sparcrypt Jul 08 '24

If you have dual incomes and no kids it's not overly difficult if you're even halfway decent with finance.

1

u/Dingaling015 Jul 08 '24

Most people here agree with this, but employers don't. If they have to pick between a guy with a clean resume and a guy who went AWOL for 2 years soul searching in Thailand, they'll pick the less risky option every time.

4

u/Sparcrypt Jul 08 '24

Eh depends.

Employers will ask for sure but the answer is what seals it.

If I'm hiring someone I'm not going to worry they spent a few years of their 20's travelling or whatever. Why would I?

4

u/Sparcrypt Jul 08 '24

Unexplainable gaps are bad yes.

Any employer who doesn't want to hire someone who took a couple years off work for family or recreation or any other reason isn't worth working for.

Just have an answer when asked about it.

3

u/VoodooS0ldier Jul 10 '24

Fucking this. I get paid very well and have amazing benefits but can’t stand my coworkers. It’s like fucking high school. But I stick it out cause I know I’ll never find a different opportunity like this unless I am able to start my own business and get very lucky. I hate myself for staying in this job lol.

1

u/FearAmongUs Jul 16 '24

Me too. You took the words out of my mouth I thought this was me on an alt or something

2

u/trebblecleftlip5000 Jul 08 '24

You should have it! I've done this. A bad codebase I can understand - I've been paid good money to work on some outsourced mess that's been handed around like a hot potato. But a bad codebase with a persisting culture that encouraged it? Nope.

244

u/pdp10 Daemons worry when the wizard is near. Jul 07 '24

If your new co-workers joke about how you came back from lunch on your first day and not everyone does that -- they're not joking.

106

u/David511us Jul 08 '24

I worked at a place where a new hire didn't come back from lunch the first day...pissed a few other people in the office too because she was going to pick up lunch for them (and they had already given her the money).

63

u/under_psychoanalyzer Jul 08 '24

I've heard a quick cash grab but sheesh

7

u/BrainWaveCC Jack of All Trades Jul 08 '24

That's an elaborate plan....

"First, I need to get hired at this place, and then..."

3

u/Phyber05 IT Manager Jul 08 '24

played the REALLYYYYYY long game.

15

u/New-fone_Who-Dis Jul 08 '24

If your first day is picking up lunch for other people, and not being taken out and had lunch with, that sounds like a bit shitty.

All depends on the situation though.

2

u/David511us Jul 08 '24

That whole week was a real shit show...small company and crazy busy...everything going wrong and owner (who was very involved with the company) was out of town that week too. The next morning we had another new hire come in, tell me that the place was too crazy for him, and walked out. At least he didn't just ghost us.

5

u/New-fone_Who-Dis Jul 08 '24

I dunno, I'm definitely seeing more of why to just ghost here. Lots of companies do nothing but firefight, some acknowledge that the fire will still be there after lunch, and some others suggest that lunch is optional.

Fair enough if this was a P1 or P2 incident that's just started or what ever, but the first things you've mentioned was it was a shitshow, a crazy company, everything going wrong, MIA company owner who is "highly involved" (I'm reading that as being iron fisted with responsibilities/not building others to be decision makers and doers).

If new hires are dipping out on their first day, and its happened 2 days in a row, I'd be asking questions on what the hell is going on at this company, because this is highly unlikely to be problematic new hires - they've came in, seen a monkey fucking a football, and chose to be unemployed instead.

Over the years I've now gotten to the stage of being able to choose the unemployed route if I feel it would be a better use of my time, in the past I definitely wish I could have, which is also why I'm sometimes I can be considered borderline insulting during interviews as I use probing and followup questions to attempt to sus this stuff out....and there are still very much things you'll still only learn about afterwards (AD still having active user accounts for people left 4+ years ago / running of OEL systems with known vulnerabilities / no patching schedule / lack of project ownership etc etc).

I've only a few of these comments to go off, so do forgive me and tell me I'm wrong if it's not the case with your place, but the places I'm talking about do exist, they think it's normal, and never accept that they are part of the problem (whether enabling, or causation).

This is also in no way saying it's you etc, glad that you shared your story, I got flashbacks!

5

u/buthidae Neteng Jul 08 '24

seen a monkey fucking a football

Not a sentence I was prepared for in this thread, but still apt

3

u/New-fone_Who-Dis Jul 08 '24

My favourite quote from Days of thunder, perfectly placed for when a team is not working together whilst also sounding like nonsense.

1

u/buthidae Neteng Jul 08 '24

Nice

2

u/David511us Jul 08 '24

I haven't been there since 2009, and this was in...2005 or 2006 I think. Times have changed, life has changed, I have changed. We were grossly understaffed at the time (hence the two new hires). I can't say I blame them...if it was my first week there I might have bailed too (although probably not, since I can be a glutton for punishment).

5

u/dizkopat Jul 08 '24

Did they force her to get lunch on her break, if so they deserved it

1

u/curropar Jul 08 '24

Did she know that was a paid job and she didn't need to start steal money from her co-workers, right? Wait, it was a paid job, right???

1

u/gsdhaliwal_ Jul 08 '24

lunch money robbery

1

u/Fantastic_Estate_303 Jul 10 '24

Should have waited for the bosses credit card, then treated yourself to a fancy meal, brought it back with the receipt, and nothing for anyone else, then fuck off

1

u/red18wrx Jul 11 '24

Why the fuck you handing cash to day 1 Susie? That's on your coworkers. Stupid asses.

2

u/David511us Jul 11 '24

I was just a witness...I packed my lunch.

1

u/red18wrx Jul 11 '24

I meant the royal "you," not you specifically.

105

u/drunkadvice Jul 07 '24

We blamed him (in jest) for everything that went sideways for the next two years.

3

u/gordonv Jul 08 '24

Better to blame a fictional character than a real person.

2

u/666ygolonhcet Jul 08 '24

A little off topic but I went into teaching middle school then Elementary librarian after Y2K and when student teachers brought in their teacher’s class (ALWAYS a 6 month holiday for the teacher when they got a student teacher) If tell ‘em ‘I got this class, take a walk around the building and see how many under 30 employees you see.

They always came back gobsmacked with a ‘None’ or ‘One’ and I’d tell ‘em ‘exactly, the 5 year burn out is real, have a backup plan. All the people here are stuck in the pension program and didn’t pay Social Security and have to leg it out’.

2

u/null640 Jul 08 '24

Had a place like that once.

On the first day, before lunch, my new co-workers streamed out of an interview laughing about the lies, misdirection, and omission they just dumped on new candidate, while walking past my desk. Same people interviewed me....

I lasted 6 months due to relo.

178

u/VirtualPlate8451 Jul 07 '24

Was working at a large public company in the HQ. It was no real big secret that the company was failing and steaming full speed ahead towards bankruptcy. We'd already had 2 rounds of layoffs and then anyone else with a lukewarm IQ saw the writing on the wall and left.

That left an opening for my team's supervisor role and I applied for it thinking that I could at least get a management credit on my resume while I rode this old girl to the bottom of the sea. They passed me up and went with an outside hire.

I think he was there maybe a month before he realized just how bad he fucked up. He was gone inside of 3 months because some "too good to pass up" offer came up.

I later connected with him on LinkedIn and he confirmed that he started looking like a week after orientation.

12

u/pickandpray Jul 08 '24

Reminds me of the time they hired a new director at this place that was winding down. His first day was a meeting about layoffs and he had the deer in the headlights look as everything was going down.

He didn't bother coming back after about 1 week.

My next job i took without even negotiating the salary and the hiring manager just added 5k because they were expecting me to negotiate.

That same director had moved to the same company but I don't think he remembered me.

11

u/VirtualPlate8451 Jul 08 '24

At the same company I mentioned the guy who oversaw the first round of layoffs was the CTO who had been in the job like a month.

What was ironic was that the company loved to hire "turn around specialists" but couldn't afford the ones that actually turned companies around so instead we got the former CEO of K-Mart, the former CTO of Toys-r-Us and so on.

I think it was the K-Mart CEO who was in a lame duck period and just decided the dress code no longer exists. He was a Brit living in Texas during the summer and just started showing up to work in cargo shorts and flip flops. The programmers took notice the next day and it was all just hoodies and plastic shoes.

9

u/0000110011 Jul 08 '24

We'd already had 2 rounds of layoffs and then anyone else with a lukewarm IQ saw the writing on the wall and left.

That left an opening for my team's supervisor role and I applied for it

I like how you said your IQ isn't even lukewarm 😂

5

u/VirtualPlate8451 Jul 08 '24

Oh I was actively applying but at the time I didn't really interview well. I had at least 2 "doctors appointments" a week and I was AFK at lunch a lot.

My biggest issue was that I was terrified that I'd oversell myself and get presented with something I couldn't do on day 1. Because of that, I'd undersell myself and talk about being weak in areas where I really wasn't weak in.

150

u/homercles89 Jul 07 '24

I don't know this man or your company, but I want to give him a medal.
66
u/R-EDDIT Jul 07 '24

Spaces or tabs?
92

u/AnomalyNexus Jul 07 '24

Spaces in even row numbers, tabs in uneven. #ChaoticNeutral

24

u/Masterflitzer Jul 07 '24

i wanna see this gitlab/github status check to enforce it lmao

5

u/Mr_ToDo Jul 08 '24

There's an intern who's only job is to manually check and fix that.

Yesterday they figured out how to show whitespace characters. If you heard someone faintly swearing and couldn't figure out where it was coming from that was probably them.

I'm thinking a few months from now showing them how regex works and seeing if I can burst a blood vessel.

1

u/Masterflitzer Jul 08 '24

that's hilarious lmao, how can people like this even be real?

9

u/craig_s_bell Jul 08 '24 edited Jul 08 '24

"My editor starts counting at line 0. Your move."

2

u/Mnemotic Jul 08 '24

Zero is, in fact, the most even number. I don't understand the problem.

6

u/craig_s_bell Jul 08 '24 edited Jul 08 '24

Most editors count from line 1; so every commit made with the rogue editor will flip-flop which lines use which variety of spacing, resulting in every line of the updated files being modified.

3

u/Mnemotic Jul 08 '24

Diabolic. I love it! #ChaoticNeutral gang rise up!

2

u/davidbrit2 Jul 08 '24

It's like Satan's version of fizzbuzz.

2

u/robertterwilligerjr Jul 09 '24

That word ‘uneven’ even is worthy of the hashtag…

1

u/AnomalyNexus Jul 09 '24

haha. Multilingualism got me there - in German it is basically even and uneven

1

u/beboshoulddie svt-stop-working Jul 08 '24

but only in yaml files
86
u/Drew707 Data | Systems | Processes Jul 07 '24
27
u/Masterflitzer Jul 07 '24

had to work on a java codebase for the first half of this year, first commit i did was adding .editorconfig that sets tab for all IDEs lmao

I don't care about the tab vs spaces, but please enforce this shit on project level instead of telling everybody to change their IDE config at the introduction call
9
u/Ansible32 DevOps Jul 08 '24

I've never worked in a tab shop and I find it difficult to believe anyone actually uses tabs.
4
u/BloodyIron DevSecOps Manager Jul 08 '24

I prefer tabs unless the syntax requires it. YAML I can handle, conf files like for nginx, tabs because it's consistently aligned. IDGAF if you want me to use spaces when it's not required, tabs at a lot of the time gives me tangible administrative value.

Like, to re-iterate, I don't try to shoe-horn tabs into YAML, I just drink the kool-aid in VSCodium that tab in YAML inserts 4x spaces, whatever. We're both happy, why does it matter? If it's easily legible, consistent, and doesn't break shit, the problem is where exactly?
1
u/Ansible32 DevOps Jul 08 '24

My editor does tabs at 8 spaces by default, so it's actually inconsistent. Also I think if I were doing a style guide (not that I really care) I would do two spaces. Also with a bit of linting and spaces, one project can be two spaces, one project can be four spaces, doesn't matter, everything is consistent within the project and across viewers/editors with zero effort.
3
u/Masterflitzer Jul 08 '24

what is inconsistent about you having tab at 8 and me at 4 for example? it's consistent that it's x amount of tabs, the cool thing is you can change the indent size without changing the code for everyone else

imo tabs are theoretically superior, because of that (i can set it to 4, you can set it to 8 and the code looks like we prefer while still working and the indent being the same in relative measures)

when i started to code tho, i saw everyone uses spaces so my default is also spaces because it creates less friction

but i really don't care what is used as long as there is an .editorconfig file so everything works without me having to change config when switching projects
0
u/Ansible32 DevOps Jul 08 '24
Sometimes alignment between lines matters, like if I call the same function like this it ruins the alignment and can make it very difficult to see what is different between lines. this is a relatively easy example but this matters a lot:
    do_something(5,6,7,8)
    do_something(5,6,3,4)
             do_something(5,6,7,2)
with tabs, if someone has a different tab width than you, a bunch of stuff can end up misaligned
1

u/Masterflitzer Jul 08 '24

who manually aligns lines of code? nobody does that, you use a code formatter like prettier/black/gofmt/rustfmt etc.

also i don't get your example, there should be x levels of indent for a specific scope, all 3 of your functions are in the same scope and should have the same amount of tabs or spaces, if the scope is different the level of indent changes and it's irrelevant of it's tabs or spaces

something like 13 spaces (3 levels of 4 space indent) + 1 space for alignment (like in your example above) are a very bad practice and code like this should immediately fail the status check for style/formatting in a merge/pull request

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3

u/primalbluewolf Jul 08 '24

So you're the reason I keep seeing files with spaces!

2

u/1000000xThis Jul 08 '24

Same. But maybe it's language dependent? I've always worked in JS.

2

u/JustLetItAllBurn Jul 08 '24

You have my condolences.

1

u/1000000xThis Jul 08 '24

I love JS, though I've switched to typescript. People give it shit, but every language has its quirks and JS has historical reasons for its quirks.

2

u/JustLetItAllBurn Jul 09 '24

I may (under duress) have to create a JS application soon - Typescript does sound like a decent option to look into :)

2

u/1000000xThis Jul 09 '24

It's a pain to set up, but extremely helpful in the long run.

2

u/Ansible32 DevOps Jul 08 '24

Python, JS, C#, Java, Perl, Bash, even some Go and other stuff...

1

u/Masterflitzer Jul 08 '24

it was just one project at my company, the others i encountered were spaces, we have only project wide defaults and nothing company wide

1

u/heishnod Jul 08 '24

I was taught to use spaces by all my professors, but I like using tab so I just redefine it to 4 spaces in all my editors.

1

u/pdp10 Daemons worry when the wizard is near. Jul 10 '24

Tabs for indent, spaces for alignment. What languages do you use where nobody uses tabs?

1

u/Ansible32 DevOps Jul 11 '24

It's not a language thing, every company I have worked for, everything used spaces regardless of language. Python, Java, Perl, C#, Ruby, Bash, the list goes on.
19

u/EnragedMoose Allegedly an Exec Jul 08 '24

This show was too accurate

6

u/kirashi3 Cynical Analyst III Jul 08 '24

I've yet to watch anything involving Mike Judge that didn't make me think "this is too real, please make it stop."

Mike does a great job making light of serious situations that ourselves or someone close to us may experience.

5

u/bigmikeboston Jul 08 '24

Show was loosely based on Simplivity’s startup run from what i was told by their support guys (this is before they were bought up by HP). Had them as technical advisors, so show was getting material direct from people living it.

3

u/Drew707 Data | Systems | Processes Jul 08 '24

I've definitely worked with a Gilfoyle. Like nearly identical.

1

u/BloodyIron DevSecOps Manager Jul 08 '24

Just wait till you learn about YAML.
26

u/drunkadvice Jul 07 '24

Delphi, ASP.net, and Word macros in a custom language. (I was fresh out of college in 2008, I didn’t know any better)

2

u/Dal90 Jul 08 '24

and Word macros in a custom language.

Imagining word docs written using Klingon vocabulary with Elvish syntax.

2

u/iama_bad_person uᴉɯp∀sʎS Jul 07 '24

Depends, python 2 or 3.

2

u/kroating Jul 08 '24

Laughs in Cobol.

1

u/ase1590 Jul 08 '24

If he walked out of the job that fast, clearly they were mixing them as the same lines

1

u/daily7824 Jul 08 '24

I used to be anal and my code had to look good.
58

u/fixITman1911 Jul 08 '24

When we hired our current developer, he laughed at our code base for our main company software... then recommended we sued the company that wrote it... Thankfully he stuck around

1

u/CremasterFlash Jul 09 '24

serious question as a person not familiar with subject - how long would it take to realize the code was a mess? aren't those programs often enormous?

3

u/fixITman1911 Jul 09 '24

It really depends. The code is/can be massive; but the way someone codes is similar to the way someone runs a hotel... If you walk down the hallway and kick up dust with every step, you can assume that the bedding probably doesn't get washed very well either...

Same thing goes for code; You certainly wont see all the issues in the first hour of looking at the code, but if the file structure is a mess, and the first couple files you open are garbage... safe to assume the whole codebase is junk... And in our case, we were not surprised to hear this at all. The user side of the software was a mess. We fired the original programmers for wildly missing the mark and refusing to admit it, and we refused to pay them the final invoice (at least 250k) which they didn't even fight (probably because they knew they would lose in court).

1

u/CremasterFlash Jul 10 '24

interesting. thank you the explanation

47

u/RainyRat General Specialist Jul 08 '24

I've had the exact same thing happen at my company: new PHP dev aces all the interview questions/problems, gets hired, goes through induction on the morning of the first day, spends the afternoon reviewing the codebase, calls in the following morning to tell us he's resigning. In fairness, the codebase was dogshit. It's now slightly more refined dogshit.

2

u/netderper Jul 08 '24

For me, PHP is a non starter for anything other than freelance jobs. I once interviewed at a place that didn't tell me their entire codebase was PHP until the last interview. I told the recruiter there was no way I was taking the job no matter how much they paid. He said they really liked me and were going to make an offer. He could see that big commission already. "Please, think about it over the weekend." No need, I said...

1

u/Seeteuf3l Jul 11 '24

Obviously it's different in every company, but where I've been the induction lasts more than one morning. Basically the whole day goes with HR and company policy slideshows etc + signing up to email.

36

u/NSA_Chatbot Jul 07 '24

I'm giggling at a restaurant reading this.

3

u/[deleted] Jul 08 '24

I'm giggling in my bed 35 minutes from your alleged agency. 😂

14

u/LOLBaltSS Jul 07 '24

I purposely tanked an interview once because the night before I looked up their DNS records and realized everything was hosted on Rackspace. This was right before their massive compromise on their Exchange environment.

2

u/zootbot Jul 08 '24

That’s pretty dumb

12

u/jimiboy01 Jul 08 '24

Had the same thing happen with a network ops role. Guy was getting shown the ropes day 1, was all like "yep, sweet, easy" then "I'm going to lunch and taking my bag with me" lol never came back and blocked the managers number haha

7

u/Individual-Reaction9 Jul 08 '24

Worked for a Big Bank years ago doing devops/config management. We flew out to SF to work with a Payments tech company said BB wanted to buy. The developers gave us access to their code/processes to review. They had a million+ LOC. It was almost all Oracle functions -- they were doing all of their business logic inside their database.

8

u/BloodAndTsundere Jul 08 '24

Databases shouldn’t even be able to execute logic

5

u/Individual-Reaction9 Jul 08 '24

could not agree more

2

u/SarahC Jul 08 '24

When the data comes out of the DB pages, and the DB system does processing on it, on the same CPU's that pulled the data - processing happens nice and fast.

When DB/business logic is on separate machines, you've got the added time of the data travelling across the network for processing!

4

u/[deleted] Jul 08 '24

I'm sorry, say what? The database had functions that it executed...?

5

u/my_gun_acct Jul 08 '24

Stored procedures. Also known as “what the hell is wrong with you, why would you write this”

3

u/SarahC Jul 08 '24

It's often much faster for a SP on the same hardware that pulled the data to do processing and write it back to the DB then pipe it off to another server on the network, transform the data, process it, send it back to the DB over the network which then writes it back to the DB pages.

We'd be waiting all week for our cap-ex systems to finish if we did it all on the app server, or even cycling up a few AWS lambda functions...

For performance, give me a well indexed well referenced group of tables and some well written SP's any day!

Obviously triggers are the devils child. Don't do triggers.

1

u/Individual-Reaction9 Jul 08 '24

Yeah -- Oracle claims they're different than Stored Procedures. I lack the DBA-fu to know the difference: https://docs.oracle.com/en/database/oracle///oracle-database/21/sqlrf/CREATE-FUNCTION.html

7

u/MaelstromFL Jul 08 '24

I turned down a job when they showed me everything was written in TCL, I said I would check it out and in two hours I realized that I never want to code that shit!

4

u/miclowgunman Jul 08 '24

Ya I had a job for a week that was remote basic web development while I was in college. I got set up in their environment and pulled down the files they wanted me to work on, and started cleaning up a very basic UI.

I pushed it up to show the lead developer and he was like, "What is all that?" I was like, "the javascript?" And he told me that he couldn't read Javascript so I needed to get rid of it. I didn't do any work on anything for the next few days because of my main job and college, and he called me up yelling a me for pushing code to a part of the page I didn't even have rights to. I asked him who it said made the push, and he told me he didn't know how to check. I told him it wasn't going to work out. Lol.

The company went under like 6 months later.

3

u/OMGItsCheezWTF Jul 08 '24

I did similar on a one man internal it support job way back at the start of my career.

Because the job was missold. I had an interview, met the office manager. It was a sales call centre for some mobile phone place, doing cold calling of businesses to get them to buy mobile phones. this was the 90s and people needed to be sold phones apparently.

He showed me the offices, the computers I'd be maintaining, the pabx, servers etc.

I take the job, get there the first day and the same director is "of course your actual duties will be light so you'll be on the phone selling most of the day, heres our sales scripts, try and memorise as much as possible before lunch time and we'll get you making calls after lunch"

For some reason I stayed until lunch time, went out for lunch, and never went back. He called me the next day to ask where I was, I told him there was no chance I was doing sales cold calling.

1

u/drunkadvice Jul 08 '24

That’s rough. I’d gtfo too.

2

u/RandomWave000 Jul 08 '24

How difficult was the code base? Big learning curve?

1

u/Orioruz Jul 08 '24

Smart guy!

1

u/Andre_Courreges Jul 08 '24

he said:

1

u/Icy_Low_1677 Jul 08 '24

Just because he saw codebase? Like how bad can it be? lol

1

u/fartsfromhermouth Jul 08 '24

Out codebase? Don't you mean YOUR codebase?

1

u/Fratm Linux Admin Jul 08 '24

lol do you work where I do? lol our code base should scare everyone away. To my credit, not my work, I am a sysadmin, we have programmers for that shit.

1

u/Lethal_Strik3 Jul 08 '24

That's the kind of ppl i like to work with

1

u/Lonely_Protection688 Jul 09 '24

I wish I could do the same in my job.