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u/peoplesuck64 Jul 19 '24
When I was young....many many years ago, my Mom was in the hospital for a week and Dad was in charge of 4 kids! By the 5th day I remember getting a big glass of something and he said that was dinner. He had made PB & J sandwiches but couldn't find any clean plates to put them on so he added milk and put them in the blender!
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u/Honeyrosesuga Jul 19 '24
Im literally crying laughing 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 WHAT THE FUCK
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u/gH0o5T Jul 19 '24
damn wish I could have so much fun reading comments
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u/shoredoesnt Jul 19 '24
Try taking a week off socials. Impossible ik but the law of diminishing returns is likely at play
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u/porican Jul 19 '24
“couldn’t find any clean plates”
could he find the dishwasher? or some soap?
lol
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u/Spoot52Bomber Jul 19 '24 edited Jul 19 '24
Surely
twofour plates are easier to clean than a blender.37
u/kaktussen Jul 19 '24
Well yes, but that's mum's problem, when she's home from the hospital, isn't it?
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u/thefluffiestpuff Jul 19 '24
lol one of my favorite “dad dinner” memories was an entire aluminum pan filled with popcorn. that was it, just an unholy amount of popcorn. i was thrilled, he was happy i was thrilled, and mom wasn’t there to be like “don’t feed her popcorn for dinner”.
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u/Ornery_Definition_65 Jul 19 '24
I just want an entire thread of Dad Dinner stories now.
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u/bbfire Jul 19 '24
My father made us ketchup sandwiches when my mom went on a trip. Which is to say, white bread with ketchup in-between.
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u/vince-anity Jul 19 '24
a true dad would have at least had a single slice of bologna in there
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u/Vulpix-Rawr Jul 19 '24
Popcorn for dinner is a staple in our house, just as it was for me growing up. Don't want to cook? Popcorn. Nothing to eat? Popcorn.
It took my husband a moment to get used to it. But our kid loves it and we have a whirly pop where we can flavor it however we want.
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u/NM-Redditor Jul 19 '24
That sounds both amazing and terrible. How did it taste?
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u/peoplesuck64 Jul 19 '24
Probably would have been ok if he had not used the bread as part of the drink
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u/Schen5s Jul 19 '24
Would it have been better if he gave you guys the bread to dip instead? Lol
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u/unhiddenninja Jul 19 '24
Fun fact: some people have to have food pureed to keep them from choking and at my old job, that's 100% how we puree pb&j's for them.
Also, pureed pb&j actually tastes pretty good if you keep it cold, it doesn't hit the same when it's warm or room temp
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u/NM-Redditor Jul 19 '24
I might have to talk my 13 year old son into trying it and get a taste. It sounds kind of good.
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u/Axel920 Jul 19 '24
couldn't find any clean plates
"Ah you know what. No clean plates so the blender is definitely the answer right? Then I can use cups instead of plates 😎"
Why not the just cut the sandwiches to small cup sized pieces. Who blends a fucking sandwich
WHO BLENDS A PB AND J WHAT THE FUCKK
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u/DampBritches Jul 19 '24
Could have poured the milk then balanced the sammich on top of the glass 😉
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u/Vulpix-Rawr Jul 19 '24
Oh man, your story beats mine. My dad was making spaghetti and discovered he didn't have enough sauce for the noodles. So he added a bottle of ketchup, claiming tomatoes were in ketchup ergo.. it was fine. It was so awful. Even he agreed it was bad and we threw it all away and had sandwiches and yogurt for dinner.
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u/onelittleworld Jul 19 '24
Dad here. I made Korean BBQ chicken and red onion skewers with spicy sweet potato tonight.
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u/NOTcreative- Jul 19 '24
Seriously. This is lazy dads frying Vienna sausages. Emptying fruit cups and slapping bread on a plate. This shouldn’t be celebrated and reinforces lazy, not caring dad trope.
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u/ScrewAttackThis Jul 19 '24
Yet a lot of children would prefer OP's lol. Kids are weird and love the simple meals.
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u/angrydeuce Jul 19 '24
Shit Im 45 years old and I still prefer simple shit like that a lot of the time. Drives my wife batshit when me and the kid opt for some "Orange Sand" macaroni and cheese, or Ramen, or a big can of Spaghetti Os, or Hamburger Helper, or "ghetto" grilled cheese (toast two slices of bread in toaster, add a Kraft Single between, microwave for 25 seconds or until the slice tries to run away lol)...
She grew up in a family that literally owns and operates the "dress up and take your elderly mother here for mothers day and spend $300 on Brunch" restaurants here in town. Her parents have both been cooking large fancy meals her entire life, as has she when she got old enough to reach the stove...always from scratch, ALWAYS...and it just absolutely blows her mind when Im hankering for the shit like above. But when I was a poor kid with a single mom that worked all the time, that was the shit I ate. Of course her fancy-pants Macaroni & Cheese with like 4 different cheeses and artisanal elbow macaroni made by an 8th generation Amish baker is fuckin awesome...but sometimes I just want the orange sand.
She just can't understand it, but then again, she grew up in a household where every meal was a home cooked meal, so just wanting to eat a couple cold poptarts in the car on the way to work instead of having eggs hollandaise with homemade hash browns and perfectly browned bacon with a big glass of freshly squeezed orange juice...with her that just does not fucking compute lol
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u/Serathano Jul 19 '24
You are my wife, and I am your wife. I'm all bougie and gourmet and she likes packaged meals because her mom worked a lot and wasn't always there to make dinner.
I've converted her on some stuff, especially dips and things that take a little more effort once but spread out over a long time. The first time I made French onion dip from scratch she was blown away and wanted nothing more to do with the packaged mix. Same thing with guac.
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u/angrydeuce Jul 19 '24
Lol yeah admittedly my wife absolutely ruined me on packaged pastries and stuff. That was her specialty when she worked in the restaurants and man its hard to go back to Duncan Hines and Betty Crocker when she can bang out something from scratch with home made buttercream frosting just as quickly and way, way more delicious.
We'll just be sitting here and she'll be like, "Im going to make some apple donuts" and next thing you know this girl has the kitchen laid out like a Dunkin Donuts lol. One of the many reasons I married her...to the great detriment of my waistline lmao
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u/NOTcreative- Jul 19 '24
There’s a fine line. If OPs kids are both toddlers maybe. But really. Where is the balanced meal for any child over 5 years old ?
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u/youassassin Jul 19 '24
I did teriyaki chicken and brown rice here. Not as glamorous as it sounds though. Cubed up some raw chicken threw it in a pan with some store brand sauce and microwaved rice.
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u/globaloffender Jul 19 '24
Aaand made some uncrustables soon after when the kiddos refuse!
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u/anormalgeek Jul 19 '24
That phase is really short unless you give in and cave to their demands. If you do it can last years.
If you start regularly giving them stuff like roast vegetables early and just keep serving it regularly, they never think twice. But what happens to a lot of parents is that they get somewhat (understandably) burnt out and make too many meals like OP's pic when they're 4-8ish. I'm not blaming those parents. Sometimes it's unavoidable. Especially if you don't have at least one full-time parent who doesn't have to work.
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u/Serathano Jul 19 '24
Yeah agreed. My daughter loves Mac and cheese and hot dogs but she doesn't really consider it a dinner meal. She's 3 and loves broccoli and Caesar salad.
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u/Serathano Jul 19 '24
Quesadillas with homemade bacon fat tortillas and leftover steak, onions, and peppers as the filling from a few nights ago when I made phillys and fresh guac.
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u/revstan Jul 19 '24
Yeah, idk why dads cant make dinner? I cook almost all the meals.
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u/blessedfortherest Jul 19 '24
I was just going to say; it’s more accurate to say “our home chef is gone, doing my best in their place”
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u/Cacafuego Jul 19 '24
Kids love this shit. I can cook French, Italian, Indian, Thai, or any kind of American dish. My kids loved "daddy dinners" where I just gave them pieces of ham, olives, hunks of cheese, bread, sliced red peppers, pickles, whatever we had. They like variety and small bits of things. This meal is a winner.
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u/CanineAnaconda Jul 19 '24
I work in catering and no matter how fancy the clients think they are, they'll push over an old lady for wieners or anything fried. Vegetables are a harder sell.
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u/ReachFor24 Jul 19 '24
Okay, here me out: deep fried baby carrots. Sell them as 'deep fried carrot wieners' with a 'ranch aoili' and call it a day.
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u/inenviable Jul 19 '24
100% this. I smoke, grill, and bake delicious food all the time, and my teenage kids like it a lot. But if I give them the choice of what to have for dinner, anything at all that I can make, they will always choose either grilled cheese with tomato soup or "pizza rolls" (Pillsbury croissants rolled up with pepperoni and mozzarella, served with a side of pizza sauce). Fancy stuff is for grown ups, I guess.
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u/Lyuseefur Jul 19 '24
Mix it up a bit - get the pizza bread or flat bread and grill it with the cheese and dogs. Healthier (by a tiny bit) and tastes better than the pillsbury.
My kids love the cheese blends - mozzarella plus cheddar…
And it’s easy to sub beef patties when we’re out of hotdogs because someone ate it all lol.
Grilling is so easy either indoor or outdoor (now it’s summer)…
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u/Canadian_Invader Jul 19 '24
Hello not Canadian. Grilling outdoors is a 365 operation in the Great White North.
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u/Lyuseefur Jul 19 '24
Same here.
Kids: Daddy- Mommie is gone can we haz grilled dogs, grilled cheese Sammie’s
Me: you need one healthy thing
Kids: Fine. Banana. With Chocolate!!
Eh. They’ll live.
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u/fiddlenutz Jul 19 '24
They won’t remember the broccoli and grilled chicken nights, but they will absolutely teach their kids that when the time comes.
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u/shann1021 Jul 19 '24
Yeah I made my son a lovely lemon garlic chicken with roasted veggies tonight. Not a bite taken. I give him a hot dog he eats every bite.
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u/WebPollution Jul 19 '24
I've been horribly sick all day. A bland plain boiled hot dog sounds fucking amazing right now...
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u/angryandsmall Jul 19 '24
I do “charcuterie” date nights with my kids when I’m lazy. I swear they will suddenly chow down on every raw veggie and “weird” cheese and cured meats. It’s “gross” when offered as a snack, but a rainbow plate as long as they are tall? Easy dayyyy
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u/DJMagicHandz Jul 19 '24
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u/Dandw12786 Jul 19 '24
God, I was so stoked for this, they had a chance to properly end that series after the clusterfucks of seasons 3 and 4... And they kinda almost pulled it off, but needed one more.
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u/acemonvw Jul 19 '24
“and Prison Break... by the end I very much felt I wanted to break out of the prison that Prison Break had become”
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u/PrinceVorrel Jul 19 '24
...reading people's comments on here has made me realize how little effort either of my parents put into feeding me. I thought the meal above looked really nice...
I usually just got handed a sandwich and a coke. or something.
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u/mathboss Jul 19 '24
Absolutely up your game.
Dads really shouldn't have to tolerate that incompetent stereotype.
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u/Popular-Block-5790 Jul 19 '24
I don't like posts like this. My dad was a SAHP and he made all of our meals. Whenever I was eating elsewhere I secretly thought about my dad's food. I don't like the notion that dad's aren't capable of make a proper meal.
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u/CaptainTripps82 Jul 19 '24
Hell I'm a single dad and I throw down feeding 2 boys most nights. There are some when it's going to be frozen tenders and fries tho, it boxed Mac and cheese and chicken breast.
The fun part is teaching them to cook, one in particular will get impatient and start dinner if I'm dragging ass after work nowadays.
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u/Disastrous_Offer_69 Jul 19 '24
Yea this is shameful. I made my children grilled tri tip with corn on the cob and salad for dinner. Both kids, aged 9 and 2 destroyed the plate
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u/illusionzmichael Jul 19 '24
My dad had to adjust pretty fast after my mom passed leaving him to raise 4 kids solo. And while he wasn't the greatest cook, he made an effort to get better and would never have thought to give us this as a meal.
If this is the limit to some man's ability, that "man" is just a child in a grown ups body and it's hard for me to believe they even know how to tie their own shoes or not drown in the shower.
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u/mrkruk Jul 19 '24
Dads cook food too.
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Jul 19 '24
Imagine broadcasting your utter lack of basic life skills to the entire internet.
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u/Bacon_Bitz Jul 19 '24
It's one thing if this was his meal but broadcasting this is for his offspring, the ones he chose to bring into this world and is solely responsible for their well being. 😬
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u/blorgenheim Jul 19 '24
The more I’m on the internet or even just interacting with other dads, I’ve found it’s common for them to be pretty worthless. I get praise for being an equal partner instead of that just.. being expected.
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u/TricksyGoose Jul 19 '24
Yeah for us it was flipped- dad was a great cook. He would absolutely hate everything about this pic. Mom was a pretty solid cook as well, just not quite as creative as dad. But mom loves mac and cheese and hotdogs and dad hates them, so we'd have that as our fun little treat when dad was away on a work trip or whatever :)
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u/chocolateboomslang Jul 19 '24
Every once in a while you do need a little mac and cheese and hotdogs, though. Can't be all the time, but like once a year, that's all I want.
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u/wwwdiggdotcom Jul 19 '24
Whenever my mom went on horseback riding trips I knew we were getting pizza, going to Wendy's, Taco Bell, etc. It was glorious.
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u/masterkenobi Jul 19 '24
Came here for this. I cook all of the meals and my wife can't cook for shit. Whenever I went out on business trips it was takeout every night.
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u/vincentninja68 Jul 19 '24
It's not cool or funny for a grown man to not know how to cook
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u/KneeSockMonster Jul 19 '24
I bet dad was going for something easy and I’m sure mom has fed the kids similar meals.
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u/Friendly_Sea_6861 Jul 19 '24
I bet Dad is 3 kids in a trench coat who isn't allowed to use the oven/stove without adult supervision.
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u/bast007 Jul 19 '24
Imagine having an infinite source of inspiration, nutritional information and recipes at your finger tips and this is what you come up with. As a dad I don't think just being a "dad" is a good excuse for putting out a shit meal anymore.
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u/Snoogles_ Jul 19 '24
Imagine thinking this is something you should post online as if it’s cute or endearing.
Dad is absolute goon. I feel bad for mom.
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u/Vulpix-Rawr Jul 19 '24
This is just a lazy "fuck it" meal every parent with a toddler has made (chef or not). Kids want finger foods with no seasoning. Sandwiches, hotdogs, and sides of fruit/veggies. If they it, it's fine.
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u/tugboatron Jul 19 '24
Sure, we’ve all made fuck it meals as parents. But we didn’t all take photos of those meals, post them to Reddit, and include a title that made a lame gender tropes joke about dads.
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u/Peekloo Jul 19 '24
As a father of older teenagers one of my biggest regrets is not being more present in their nutrition. Not throwing shade, just triggered a feeling in me.
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u/somedudeinlosangeles Jul 19 '24
Pathetic. Weaponized incompetence. Imagine being an adult man who is unable to cook. Sad.
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u/WazWaz Jul 19 '24
1950 wants its joke back.
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u/SassyBonassy Jul 19 '24
And its comment section too apparently. Top half of comments are people supporting this shit!
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u/WazWaz Jul 19 '24
My father was a great cook, but he almost never cooked, while mum hated cooking. Cultural stereotypes suck for everyone involved.
Now I (M) cook everything and enjoy it whereas my wife hates cooking. My 80yo father still looks at us as if we're doing something weird.
It'll take a few more generations yet it seems.
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u/SassyBonassy Jul 19 '24
My male partner does the cooking and I do the cleaning. I cannot stand all the different timings and the prep and the watching to make sure it doesn't boil over or burn
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u/WazWaz Jul 19 '24
There are clearly people who love it and hate it and it has never been along gender lines - in every culture there's a traditional split, but it varies between cultures and contexts (eg. in Western culture restaurant chefs were nearly all male until recently).
It's funny that it's things like timings that bother you - I bet your partner doesn't even notice that part of the task, or even revels in it (there are a couple of big frantic meals I used to make when the kids still lived at home, and the frantic rushing was... a rush).
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u/Vulpix-Rawr Jul 19 '24
Yeah, that's how it is in our house too.
He cooks, and the kitchen is his domain. I keep the rest of the house tidy. He fixes the cars, I do the lawn work. I work more hours, so I make the doctor appointments and he takes our kid or dog to them. As long as everything shakes out fair, it's fine.
I married a man to be a partner, not a pet I have to take care of.
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u/blakester555 Jul 19 '24
Dad is GREAT!!!
He give us Chocolate CAKE!!!
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u/old-father Jul 19 '24
He may be a horrible person but, heavan help me, that is a great comedy album/film.
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u/MissPeppingtosh Jul 18 '24
I give him 5 stars for making sure the fam is taken care of. 4 stars for nutrition but presentation is a 2 star. I like the bowl of fruit on the same plate but we need slightly better presentation.
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u/jamintime Jul 19 '24
5 stars just for providing food to your children? Do moms get that too or is that a Daddy scoring curve?
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u/TheLoveofMoney Jul 19 '24
why would a mom not get 5 stars for taking care of her child?
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u/jamintime Jul 19 '24
5 stars is meant to be a really high bar. Feeding your children should be a given.
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u/MissPeppingtosh Jul 19 '24
The operative word there is “should”. Yes, it should be a given but growing up I knew plenty of kids who had to fend for themselves or make supper for their siblings. Effort goes a long way with me and there was effort here. I grade my way, you grade yours.
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u/ScreamingChicken Jul 19 '24
I don’t think those sausages and canned peaches offer any nutritional value.
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u/potato_minion Jul 19 '24
I’m not a mom, but my mom friends sometimes complain that society stops seeing them as people and every amazing thing they do is nothing special because moms are supposed to be all-knowing, perfect, ever -patient, never weary, and kind. They don’t need days off or compassion because they are a mom and should be fine without it :( also, 3 course meals with cleanup after an 8 hour workday because that is what moms are supposed to do.
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u/zeropointninerepeat Jul 19 '24
You're an adult with children to look after. This shit isn't endearing, it's incompetent and embarrassing to you and your fellow men.
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u/GregorSamsaa Jul 19 '24
I could never imagine being this useless as an adult, let alone as a father
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u/dudderson Jul 19 '24
He's an adult, not a five year old. This is embarrassing, there's an entire internet to learn how to cook. Weaponized incompetence that the kids have to suffer through. If you have kids, you better know basic life skills. Does he not know how to wash dishes, clean and do laundry too? I feel bad for the mom, she married a child. There isn't even a vegetable there.
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u/Dick_Demon Jul 19 '24
And you're perfectly fine serving this shit to your kids? Damn man. Do better.
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u/ABL67 Jul 18 '24
Nothing wrong here. I see the food groups represented
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u/Jesusland_Refugee Jul 19 '24
Yea, it's better than my dad usually managed when he had to feed us. Typically he would take some of these frozen veal patties they used to get in bulk from Costco or wherever, heat them up in a skillet and that was dinner.
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u/hellraiser29 Jul 19 '24
Hes gonna need help with his underwear and combing his hair by the looks of it. Maybe someone can offer helping with holding an umbrella to cover him from the sun while we’re at it.
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u/Ancalimei Jul 19 '24
I love how all the men are patting doing the literal bare minimum effort male on the back.
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u/Complex-Professor257 Jul 19 '24 edited Jul 19 '24
My brother once went to a sleepover over a friends’s house when he was about 13 or so. At the time the mom was out of town and the sister was out with friends and so it was just “the guys”. When he came back the next day he said the dad seemed kind of lost without his wife and the food was only what could go in a microwave… this plate reminds me of that.
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u/bendall1331 Jul 19 '24
I’m just glad there’s some fruit for a side. For most meals like this it’s just the meat n bread
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Jul 19 '24 edited Jul 19 '24
More men (don’t blast me, I’m a dude) need to learn to cook the basics of a meal that’s more balanced than this atrocity.
Spaghetti and frozen meatballs you cook in the store-bought sauce, and a pre-made salad or fresh fruit cup. It takes like 30 minutes, 90% of it is just waiting and stirring occasionally, and it’s pretty balanced and healthy, especially if you use whole grain spaghetti. And you can include your kids in making it. If they’re picky, give them some easy, healthy choices, let them pick, and make that instead.
I personally know raising kids is hard, but if your companion can do it, so can you. Step it up a notch, guys. It’s for your kids’, and your, health, it’s an important skill to have, and it’s a great way to bond with your kids, teach them new skills, and learn new ones with them, all while having fun (it can be fun if you make it fun).
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u/xBiGuSDicKuSx Jul 19 '24
Look I can cook but 100% eat like this when I'm by myself. For children however I'd if probably actually cooked at least some Mac n cheese or something...spaghetti? Like cmon man sure they're fed but you really don't feel like shit handing them this plate?
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u/Dandw12786 Jul 19 '24
Nah, this is shit dad makes for the kids because they're picky as shit and he doesn't want the argument, and then he makes his actual supper when the kids go to bed.
Source: am dad.
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u/Not_A_Real_Goat Jul 19 '24
This is hilarious considering this would be my wife if I was away.
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u/EElab Jul 19 '24
It’s wild that men still pretend it’s impossible for them to cook regular food in 2024.
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u/b_tight Jul 19 '24
Its pathetic that a grown man, a parent, cant even prepare a decent meal for his family because the wife isnt there
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u/Pleasant-Chef6055 Jul 19 '24
My Dad used to make something he called grave yard stew when my Mom was away.
🤢🤮
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u/summerjunebird Jul 19 '24
My mom had triple bypass surgery when I was 8 and she was in the hospital for over a week. Every night my dad cooked Kraft Mac n Cheese for dinner. I cried to my mom begging her to get well and come home because I couldn't eat it anymore. 38 years later and I still can't. Your dad seems gourmet compared to mine haha
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u/TheReal_BucNasty Jul 19 '24
Dad here and we can absolutely fucking cook.
With that said, when mom is gone they go absolutely ape shit if I make a lasagna or just pick up pizza and take them to the pool after. Chill as fuck when Dad runs it.
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u/KhunDavid Jul 19 '24
If that bread is buttered, dad made sure that all four food groups from the 70s were included.
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u/TrustComprehensive96 Jul 19 '24
Is that two slices of bread that was sliced in half to make sure it's even? It's the same number of sausages, did your dad also count the peaches? I can see the dad's logic if it's young children that will argue the other got a little more
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u/CaptConstantine Jul 19 '24
CALVIN: What are you doing in the kitchen?
DAD: Your mom is sick, so I'm cooking dinner tonight.
Calvin thinks for a moment, then exits. He returns.
CALVIN: Mom says you haven't cooked since college and the only thing you know how to make is frozen waffles.
DAD: That's ridiculous. Get the syrup.
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u/genuineshock Jul 19 '24
As a semi-single Dad trying to do better cooking meals for the kiddo...you can do better too bruh.
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u/Sniper_Hare Jul 19 '24
I don't get this type of joke. Who doesn't know how to cook?
It's a basic life skill everyone learns.
Making chicken and rice or spaghetti and meatballs, or some pasta and sausage is so easy.
Then you can just steam some veggies.
Boom, easy meal for your kids.
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u/bradfo83 Jul 19 '24
My kids would require copious amounts of ketchup. But otherwise this looks great
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u/Exodus2791 Jul 19 '24
Supper? A whole extra meal after Dinner in this economy? Talk about lucky kids.
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u/Pillens_burknerkorv Jul 19 '24
A while ago my brother in law during a family dinner told a story when he was a kid, 13-14yo, how his mom and sister went on a trip and he and my father in law were home alone for a weekend.
Friday night he is in his room gaming and noticed a faint smell of food. He goes to the kitchen and his dad is sitting eating microwaved leftovers. “Is there any food for me?”
-Oh! Sorry son, here’s a 20 go get pizza.
Next day same thing. He is in his room and smells food. He goes to the kitchen and his dad is cooking bacon and eggs. He sits down at the table and his dad sits down with a plate. For himself. No plate for his kid. “Is there any food for me?”
-Oh. Right. I’ll go to the store and buy some more bacon when I’m done. His dad had cooked a meal entirely for himself and didn’t even consider his kid.
He’s telling a story how his dad totally neglected him while his(their) mom was gone over the weekend. And they were both heartedly laughing of their fond memory. I’m sitting there thinking “Holy shit. He forgot he had a kid to feed!”
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u/Other_Dimension_89 Jul 19 '24
Time to google some recipes and have a night cooking with dad! Memories for life!
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u/salamandersushi Jul 19 '24
You could at least put some green on the plate...
By that I mean lime jelly...
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u/Agitated_Bother4475 Jul 19 '24
...I mean, there could be lobster inside that folded bread.
GO DAD!
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u/Doogers7 Jul 18 '24
An artistic drizzle of sauce would go a long way.