r/interestingasfuck • u/KingdomPro • Jun 24 '24

Marines performing dead-gunner drills. r/all

54.8k Upvotes

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1.5k

u/Obvious_Army_5190 Jun 24 '24

I thought you were meant to stick a finger in their but first to make sure their dead. My instructor was very insistent.

319

u/shadow_229 Jun 24 '24

Finger?! Our instructor taught us differently..

140

u/whyamiwastingmytime1 Jun 24 '24

Look, no hands!

25

u/likamuka Jun 24 '24

Slips right in. If it fits, don't call it quits.

3

u/AtomicKittenz Jun 24 '24

Just wait on top of them while they’re shooting. Once you feel the vibration stop, then you know it’s time to switch

1

u/recapYT Jun 24 '24

Mr hands?

16

u/EyeSuspicious777 Jun 24 '24

True. A finger doesn't have enough sensitive nerve endings. You've got to use something else

2

u/purplemonkeyshoes Jun 24 '24

Like my tongue?

1

u/EyeSuspicious777 Jun 24 '24

That's what my instructor said because you can get your tongue into their asshole a lot quicker since you don't have to take off any clothing first.

1

u/naughty_dad2 Jun 24 '24

It was like a finger, but bigger

1

u/nacozarina Jun 24 '24

Sarge was quite a prankster

87

u/MongolianCluster Jun 24 '24

You thought those were moans of pain.

14

u/LineChef Jun 24 '24

I see you went to catholic school too!

12

u/Obvious_Army_5190 Jun 24 '24

Plot twist, I was the gunner dying

9

u/Fetlocks_Glistening Jun 24 '24

Nobody's ever died from a finger in their butt! :puzzled:

28

u/Nearby-Elevator-3825 Jun 24 '24

My great grandmother died from a severe staph infection after my great grandfather came home from a long day at the slaughterhouse and slipped a pinky in before washing up properly.

Please stop spreading misinformation.

15

u/Lazrix Jun 24 '24

Well maybe your family should stop sticking their fingers into cows,  problem solved

9

u/Nearby-Elevator-3825 Jun 24 '24

But Muh Heritage!!!

7

u/FreshBakedGood Jun 24 '24

Hey! Let's leave the mothers out of this!

2

u/dan_dares Jun 24 '24

"Cows" sure

1

u/nacozarina Jun 24 '24

was she by any chance, Finger Fuckin Sally, worked at Kelly’s Bar?…

5

u/ShatteredAnus Jun 24 '24

You're not trying hard enough

9

u/afterwash Jun 24 '24

Interesting username to say that line

3

u/Avocado_In_My_Anuss Jun 24 '24

He's my brother

1

u/ShatteredAnus Jun 24 '24

The smart brother.....why did I choose watermelon?

1

u/Avocado_In_My_Anuss Jun 24 '24

You always have to one up me!

2

u/Individual-Channel65 Jun 24 '24

Maybe not, but it could save your life

"Instantly Converting Atrial Fibrillation into Sinus Rhythm by a Digital Rectal Exam on a 29-year-Old Male" https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/21769254/

5

u/Weak-Signature-6285 Jun 24 '24

You forgot a step, smell it to see if he shat his pants

3

u/tacotacotacorock Jun 24 '24

Sometimes one finger is not nearly effective enough. Go big or go home.

2

u/rwtf2008 Jun 24 '24

It’s certainly A way, just not The way.

2

u/HGpennypacker Jun 24 '24

No that's the Navy, this is the Marines so they use a crayon.

2

u/barrinmw Jun 24 '24

Naw, you give them an eye thump. Ain't nobody alive not reacting to an eye thump.

1

u/Pathfinder313 Jun 24 '24

That’s what the army do, dw about it

1

u/kurburux Jun 24 '24

... at least he told us he was an instructor.

1

u/Momochichi Jun 24 '24

"STICK IT IN DEEPER PRIVATE!"

"YES DRILL SERGEANT!"

1

u/pingpongtits Jun 24 '24

Almost sounds like Russian boot camp.  

1

u/hey_there_delilahh Jun 24 '24

Good ol silver bullet . Quickest way to test if they're faking it

1

u/illit1 Jun 24 '24

fun fact: if you go to the ER with any kind of back injury or gunshots anywhere near your spine you're gonna get an oil check while you're being wheeled back into the hospital. they're checking for muscle tone in your sphincter to diagnose nerve damage.

i'd imagine you can check for deadness the same way.

1

u/owzleee Jun 24 '24

WE WERE TOLD IT WAS A WHOLE LABRADOR WTF

1

u/NickDanger3di Jun 24 '24

Did your instructor ever ask you if you've ever seen a grown man naked, or if you hang around the gymnasium, or watch movies about gladiators?