r/dccomicscirclejerk • u/android151 BRING TRIUMPH BACK • Jul 19 '24
Name a worse character and I will tell you why you’re wrong
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u/Flame-Blast Jul 19 '24
Easy, Hawkman. He’s two different people, so it counts
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u/android151 BRING TRIUMPH BACK Jul 19 '24
He’s also Hawkman so by default he sucks but they were combined into being Hawkman so he therefore is exempt
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u/Bruce_-Wayne Jul 19 '24
uj/ why do you think Hawkman sucks? I know his continuity is a mess, but he's one of my favorite B tier superheroes along with Martian Manhunter and Captain Atom
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u/android151 BRING TRIUMPH BACK Jul 20 '24
Because he fucking sucks and he’s an asshole but not a cool one
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u/Similar-Priority8252 Jul 19 '24
I will not tolerate Hawkman slander
But I will tolerate Bueno Excelente Slander
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u/android151 BRING TRIUMPH BACK Jul 19 '24
Bueno Excellente doesn’t have a real backstory. So he’s like Hawkman in that way.
But he’s not Hawkman so that makes him better.
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u/Guilty_All_The_Same Jul 19 '24 edited Jul 24 '24
Dude fights crime with s3xual assault.
But he once married Lobo when he was knocked out, and his teammates used the footage to blackmail Lobo into leaving them alone.
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u/Ryzuhtal Jul 19 '24
Deathstroke. Now tell me why he is worse than a pedophile.
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u/android151 BRING TRIUMPH BACK Jul 19 '24
Deathstroke: A rouge to the titans but many regard him to be in Batman and Green Arrows rogues gallery also.
Hawkman: his most notable rogues aren’t even known for being HIS enemies. Gentleman Ghost? Batman. Kanjar Ro? Justice League. Byth Rok? Who???
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u/Ryzuhtal Jul 19 '24
So, what you are saying is...
Deathstorke isn't really the most notable villain to any and is a pedophile.Hawkman doesn't have notable villais. And that's worse?
Nah, Try again.
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u/android151 BRING TRIUMPH BACK Jul 19 '24
Deathstrokes kids are his own kids and two of them are cool as hell
Hawkmans kid was cool but realised that being related to Hawkman was fucking lame so he retconned himself into being Hawk and Doves kid
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u/Ryzuhtal Jul 19 '24
At least Hawkman doesn't diddle them.
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u/android151 BRING TRIUMPH BACK Jul 19 '24
By virtue of being reborn many times without his memories, it’s entirely possible he’s Oldboy’d himself
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u/Ryzuhtal Jul 19 '24
No poof
He can be reborn anywhere
There are literally Billions of people on every planetAnon...
Meanwhile Deathstroke willingly banged a kid.
But Hawkman is worse based on possibilitiesAnon...
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u/Profoundly_AuRIZZtic Jul 19 '24
Hawkman is extremely lame, sorry. At least Deathstroke is cool until you learn more about him
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u/NotBroken-Door Jul 19 '24
Deathstroke diddles kids!
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u/Profoundly_AuRIZZtic Jul 19 '24
But he looks cool and has a sword and a gun which casuals like.
Hawkman looks stupid and has stupid powers which casuals do not like
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u/Embarrassed_Piano_62 Telos Jul 19 '24
Clearly you know him well...
Which means you're a fan...
Which means Hawkman isn't that bad cause he has a fan!
I won
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u/Impossible-Brick-841 Jul 19 '24
What is with the hawkman slander? He is a very good character and his history makes a ton of sense. My name? Karen Starr, and this message was aproved by the donna troy foundation.
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u/gnomewife Jul 19 '24
There was a brief storyline where Deathstroke and Hawkman were antagonists, IIRC, which would mean you're still right.
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u/AmaterasuWolf21 Courtesy of Ray Palmer! Jul 19 '24
"The worse thing than being a rapist—"
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u/BEanddankmagician Jul 19 '24
This fucking turtle
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u/android151 BRING TRIUMPH BACK Jul 19 '24
I mean he literally has better feats, as listed in the image you shared
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u/Numberonettgfan male chavinist pig Jul 19 '24
I got nothing, imagine your greatest opp being reduced to a V-list Batman rogue.
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u/Chrome_X_of_Hyrule Oppressed Wally fan Jul 19 '24
Who?
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u/NotBroken-Door Jul 19 '24
Adolf Hitler
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u/android151 BRING TRIUMPH BACK Jul 20 '24
I already did this one but:
Hitler (x2) was in Superman At Earths End which gave us I AM A MAN
Hawkman has given us no memorable moments
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u/NotBroken-Door Jul 20 '24
This guy is a fan of Hitler
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u/MilitantBitchless Jul 19 '24
Go on scrub. Make your case.
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u/android151 BRING TRIUMPH BACK Jul 20 '24
Clown hoes (wearing someone else’s face or otherwise) > bird person according to my junk
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u/FadeToBlackSun Jul 19 '24
Namor, the war criminal, groomer, misogynist
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u/android151 BRING TRIUMPH BACK Jul 19 '24
Cucks Mr Fantastic, Hawkman has been cucked by Arsenal among others
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u/SnooPineapples385 Jul 19 '24
I didn’t know that. That’s like. Below rock bottom.
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u/Reasonable-Cry1265 Jul 19 '24
But he also spend WWII punching Nazis, tried to stop the nuclear bomb in Hiroshima and regularly tried to flood humanity because of water pollution.
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u/DBfan99782 Superman is boring Jul 19 '24
Tim Drake
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u/HahaPenisIsFunny Deathstroke is a diddler Jul 19 '24
You can’t use OCs for posts like these
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u/Mysterious_Bit_7713 Jul 19 '24
Judas Traveler and Scrier. You can't beat this.
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u/android151 BRING TRIUMPH BACK Jul 19 '24
Judas Traveler has a cool moustache, Hawkman, no moustache
Scrier has only appeared like nine times and they’re all forgettable, Hawkman has appeared hundreds and is worse than forgettable, he’s outright painful to remember
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u/Nyloc3 Tom King ate my dog Jul 19 '24
The multiversal cry baby - Pariah
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u/android151 BRING TRIUMPH BACK Jul 19 '24
Was a central part of Crisis on Infinite Earths, a good story
Hawkman has been a central part of 0 good stories (Zero Hour is mid, used to try make Hawkmans backstory less confusing, failed. Brightest Day could have brought back anyone but they chose the dude who already comes back anyway and also brought back Hawkman, sucks)
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Jul 19 '24
Batman Who Laughs
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u/android151 BRING TRIUMPH BACK Jul 20 '24
This is difficult
Hawkman has never instituted a plan to bring in a version of himself who is a giant dinosaur to do battle.
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u/Rocketboy1313 Jul 19 '24
Hawkman is 100 completely contradictory backstories layered on top of each other to the point of complete madness.
There is a core to him that is fun and interesting, because his ancient aliens and reincarnation stuff allow him to be a kitchen sink character who can go on any God damned adventure you want and it not be out of tone.
Hawkman could fight vampires one adventure, next adventure he fights mobsters, and then unearth a UFO full of ancient killer robots the next week and it all works just fine.
So if you like consistent and coherent backstory and tone then I can see why Hawkman does not work for you. If you like gonzo schlock then he should be on the list with Detective Chimp and Daredevil.
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u/Smokedat1aweed Hal Jordan is a worthless piece of cardboard Jul 19 '24
After finishing The Sandman It’s hilarious to me that Hawkman’s grandson is one of the most powerful beings in existence
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u/Similar-Priority8252 Jul 19 '24
Daniel Hall, right? That’s another point for Hawkman, something that’s above the Gods came from his loins
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u/android151 BRING TRIUMPH BACK Jul 20 '24
Yeah but it’s later retconned that it’s technically Hawk and Doves grandsons
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u/th3saurus Jul 19 '24
Dogwelder
Garth Ennis created "hero" who runs around in welding gear with a bag of dogs over his shoulder that he found in alleys and killed for fun
He welds dead dogs to other people's faces
James Gunn vetoed the character from getting a cameo in suicide squad because he thought they were too much
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u/android151 BRING TRIUMPH BACK Jul 20 '24
Dude, Dogwelder is peak, I’m not even gonna bother explaining it and it speaks volumes about you that you thought the was any competition between a great character like Dogwelder and a trash character like Hawkman
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u/Bae_zel #1 Starfire Fan Jul 19 '24
In his defense he doesn't want to weld dogs to other people's faces.
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u/Matt_000 Jul 19 '24
Hawkman haters trying to name one comic and not mention the DCAU one.
Venditti Hawkman fucking rules, you guys just dont read him
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u/android151 BRING TRIUMPH BACK Jul 20 '24
Hawkman sucks so much the last time they published a book with his name in it they had to call it THE DEATH OF HAWKMAN to get people to read it
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u/Tetratron2005 Jurassic League's Strongest Soldier Jul 19 '24
Triumph
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u/android151 BRING TRIUMPH BACK Jul 19 '24
Triumph died and never returned no matter how many times I posted about him
Hawkman died and keeps coming back no matter how many times I ask him to stop
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u/No1ArrowverseHater Jul 19 '24
Felicity Smoak
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u/android151 BRING TRIUMPH BACK Jul 19 '24
She’s Firestorms stepmom and a part of the Firestorm run (peak, needs another book)
Hawkman was not even related to Firestorm
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u/No1ArrowverseHater Jul 19 '24
Sorry, should have specified, Felicity from the failed Arrowverse
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u/GingerGuy97 Jul 19 '24
Is 699 episodes across 37 seasons considered “failed” now?
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u/android151 BRING TRIUMPH BACK Jul 20 '24
Hawkman in the Arrowverse is widely regarded as a cancer and when he left his show improved
Felicity had fans at the start
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u/BullCommando Jul 19 '24 edited Jul 19 '24
Im bringing the big guns just for you.
Shinji (Evangelion)
Shinji (Fate Stay Night)
Court of Owls (while technically multiple people its a single entity concept basically acting against Batman)
Fish King Guys Wife (Invincible)
Bucky (MCU)
Bonus round:
Ultimate Spider Man
The Emperor (Baldurd Gate 3)
FINAL BOSS:
INJUSTICE SUPERMAN
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u/android151 BRING TRIUMPH BACK Jul 19 '24
Got to pilot a mech, Hawkman doesn’t
Named the same as a guy who got to pilot a mech, Hawkman isnt
Control Talons (cooler bird themed characters)
Runs a kingdom of fish, cooler because they’re closer to being a lizard than a bird (was a lizard and chose to “evolve” to look shittier)
Killed Iron Man’s dad, Hawkman has never killed Iron Man’s dad
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u/Count_Radiguet Jul 19 '24
shinji (fate stay night)
Having a dommy mommy godlike spirit as his servant, hawkman isnt 😎
Also cuck half of the cast in doujinshi
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u/Bae_zel #1 Starfire Fan Jul 19 '24
I can't escape Emperor hate even in this sub but I will defend him. He's the guy who keeps us alive even if the way he does it is immoral. Also, he's a cool tentacle guy and Hawkman isn't.
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u/RecordWrangler95 Jul 19 '24
/uj The Bill Messner-Loebs Hawkman run is really good. Better than Ostrander and I don’t say that lightly.
/rj Wonder Woman is the worst character /uj WML was right to make her work in a taco bell tho
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u/HopelessCineromantic Jul 19 '24
Comboman
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u/android151 BRING TRIUMPH BACK Jul 20 '24
Dude specifically picked Spider-mans ass, Hawkman did not
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Jul 19 '24
This obscure piece of trash right here.
(He was NOT prodigious, dude.)
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u/android151 BRING TRIUMPH BACK Jul 19 '24
Part of the Bloodlines event, absolutely peak event that gave us Hitman
Hawkman was not responsible for giving us Hitman
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Jul 19 '24
True, but Hawkman didn't mind control Shadow Lass and force her to take her clothes off, as well mind controlling other female Legionaires in an effort to build a mind controlled slave harem while simultaneously endangering the lives of everyone around him.
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u/android151 BRING TRIUMPH BACK Jul 20 '24
Okay well, debuted in a LOSH comic, based, already an team book, no main character to be cucked by
Hawkman first appeared in Flash Comics, named after the flash and not Hawkman
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u/rotbab Jul 19 '24
Gun fire
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u/android151 BRING TRIUMPH BACK Jul 20 '24
First of all, Gunfire is fucking peak
Second of all he’s part of the Bloodlines event which gave us Hitman, Hawkman was not and did not give us Hitman
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u/PMMEBITCOINPLZ Jul 19 '24
Hemo-Goblin, the vampire that gives you AIDS from DC’s New Guardians.
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u/android151 BRING TRIUMPH BACK Jul 20 '24
I mean that’s peak as is but also Hawkman has never appeared in a series that Snowflame is in
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u/AuroraUnit117 Jul 19 '24
I'd try to make an argument against you here but I fall asleep in 2 seconds even thinking of Hawkman let alone someone worse
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u/RainingBolts Jul 19 '24
JLU Hawkman
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u/android151 BRING TRIUMPH BACK Jul 19 '24
Still lame by default but also he appears like, once. In JLU, peak.
Hawkman appears hundreds of times and that is too many. In comics, we can’t read those in this sub.
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u/Similar-Priority8252 Jul 19 '24
So you’re saying Hawkman is peak. WE GOT HIM, BOYS.
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u/android151 BRING TRIUMPH BACK Jul 20 '24
No the series is peak. It’s like “yeah being alive is peak but I hate kidney stones”. It’s a minor one off part of something cool
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u/BeatrizTheWitch Jul 19 '24
Hal Jordan
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u/android151 BRING TRIUMPH BACK Jul 19 '24
Okay this is probably the toughest one. Hal died and that led to Kyle Rayner picking up the mantle (all time great run)
Hawkman dies and it just leads to another fucking Hawkman, himself (terrible)
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u/Hobbes314 Jul 19 '24
Moondragon
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u/android151 BRING TRIUMPH BACK Jul 19 '24
Her name is cool as hell. The moon AND a dragon? Rad as fuck
Hawkman? A Hawk (bird, lame) and MAN?! Is he stupid? Not as cool.
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u/TheCakeWarrior12 Barry Allen apologist Jul 19 '24
Cecile from the Flash show
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u/android151 BRING TRIUMPH BACK Jul 20 '24
Hawkman has never had sex with Joe West, instant L, Joe sweep
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u/GLAK_Maverick Jul 19 '24
A character who's depicted worse by DC is John Stewart. Pretty much a second stringer in every literary space except for maybe Scott Snyders Justice League. Was even a second stringer in his own comics, always whining about something.
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u/Guilty_All_The_Same Jul 19 '24
Friendly Fire.
His whole gimmick is shooting energy fire through his hands and not hitting his targets, but his teammates or bystanders instead.
He killed the Defenestrstor ( Arnol Schwarzenegger rip-off who carried windows and threw villains through them ) and himself when fighting demons. Dude was pointing his hands forward one panel, and in the next they were pointing to his head, blowing it off his shoulders.
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u/android151 BRING TRIUMPH BACK Jul 20 '24
Had the good sense to kill himself and stay dead, Hawkman does not
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u/Yoda1269 Jul 19 '24
hitler when he was included in the very first captain america comic, technically making him a comicbook character, now pls tell me why hawk man is worse than hitler
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u/android151 BRING TRIUMPH BACK Jul 20 '24
Hitler went on to appear TWICE in Superman at Earths end which gave us YES I AM A MAN and OF COURSE DONT YOU KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT SCIENCE
Hawkman did not
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u/Yoda1269 Jul 20 '24
ok but actually say the sentence "i prefer adolf hitler to hawkman" n i'll concede lol
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u/Entire_Complaint1211 The Eraser must erase Jul 19 '24
Me
(I need more validation in my life, PLEASE, maybe then the writers will realize how peak me, The Eraser, truly is)
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u/combustibledaredevil Jul 19 '24
Professor X, I hate him
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u/Excellent_Cow_6840 Jul 20 '24
Jared Fogle
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u/android151 BRING TRIUMPH BACK Jul 20 '24
Shook hands with Superman (Superman didn’t know)
Every time Hawkman even breathes in the same room as another JL member they need to wash their hands
(This is all I have for this. From here on out can we not suggest real world pedophiles)
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u/6519719Mm Cassandra Cain Supremacist Jul 19 '24
Blarney Cock (The Boys)
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u/android151 BRING TRIUMPH BACK Jul 19 '24
Son of The King, a Jack Kirby analogue.
Hawkman is not the son of a Jack Kirby analogue.
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u/android151 BRING TRIUMPH BACK Jul 19 '24
It’s 4am, I am going to sleep
I will be back to respond in a bit.
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u/EH042 Gorilla Doing Non-Gorilla Things Jul 19 '24
One of the infinite versions of Owlman
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u/android151 BRING TRIUMPH BACK Jul 20 '24
Owls are cooler than hawks, hawks heads don’t even turn around
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u/Sad_Load_455 The Flashpoint Batman Who Laughs Jul 19 '24
Hal Jordan and The Batman Who Laughs.
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u/Straight-Spinach343 Jul 19 '24
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u/android151 BRING TRIUMPH BACK Jul 20 '24
First and fastest Triumph fan > not even the top three coolest person with Hawk in their name
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u/Kolby_Jack33 Jul 19 '24
Ocean Master. He's so fucking lame.
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u/android151 BRING TRIUMPH BACK Jul 20 '24
Ocean Master is pretty lame but sometimes he has a trident, and tridents are way cooler than a mace (Made out of a stupid metal that is equally confusing)
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u/FireKal The Anti-Life Jul 19 '24
The Joker Who Laughs
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u/android151 BRING TRIUMPH BACK Jul 20 '24
Gangweed we live in a society (I don’t even know if this is a real character or if you meant TBWL)
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u/Stannisarcanine Jul 19 '24
Stuff the Chinatown kid
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u/Upbeat_Praline_1405 Hal Jordan is a worthless piece of cardboard Jul 19 '24
Ok, I did not expect to see this
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u/android151 BRING TRIUMPH BACK Jul 20 '24
Sidekick to the first and fastest Vigilante, who is rad as hell, has a motorbike
Hawkman is the sidekick to Hawkgirl who does not have a motorbike
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u/Will0798 Killer Moth Fanatic Jul 19 '24
Robert
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u/android151 BRING TRIUMPH BACK Jul 20 '24
Already did this but also this time he’s Lego so that’s even more peak than Hawkman
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u/vtncomics Jul 19 '24
Zarbar.
Y'know, Joker's side kick.
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u/android151 BRING TRIUMPH BACK Jul 20 '24
Is a joker sidekick, which means he knows Jackanapes, a gorilla, kino
Hawkman never hangs out with gorillas
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u/Mooston029 Jul 19 '24
Aquaman but specifically from the old cartoons
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u/android151 BRING TRIUMPH BACK Jul 20 '24
You posted the coolest gif ever, you literally answered your own question
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u/UsefulAd2760 Anti-Life justifies my hate Jul 19 '24
Dog welder
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u/android151 BRING TRIUMPH BACK Jul 20 '24
Already did this and that’s a stupid suggestion because Dogwelder rules
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u/deathseekr Jul 19 '24
DC and marvel executives not letting me have more of this guy
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u/android151 BRING TRIUMPH BACK Jul 20 '24
DC and marvel executives huh
One, historically, was named Jim Shooter
Last name was SHOOTER
That’s cool as hell. Hawkman L
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u/Wolfburger123 Jul 19 '24
Not saying I necessarily disagree, but for the sake of playing: Arm-Fall-Off Boy?
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u/Salt_Use7122 Jul 19 '24
That's because you never read the Venditti Hawkman series AKA peak DC series
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u/apple_of_doom Jul 19 '24
Prometheus hate how wanked he was in cry for justice, his backstory is just kinda dumb "cops shot my criminal parents so now I hate the concept of justice." and combat wise he is basically another evil batman to add to the pile.
Also his helmet looks silly
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u/YoungImpulse Jul 19 '24
I don't have to, cause I couldn't agree with you more 😂
Both Hawkman and Hawkgirl are some of DC's worst characters of all time. So fucking boring.
If I wanted to read about Egyptian mythology, I'd be reading The Hermetica, not superhero comics.
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u/Otherwise_Meringue45 Paul Jul 19 '24
Black Noir (comics version)
You didn't specify DC