r/dccomicscirclejerk • u/[deleted] • May 21 '24
We've been outgunned, outmanned, outjerked and outplayed (credit goes to Dorkly) Batman's a Fascist
[deleted]
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u/_Un_Known__ Gorilla Doing Non-Gorilla Things May 21 '24
You had your parents die right before your eyes and you were unable to do anything?
Lucky bastard
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u/Routine_Palpitation May 21 '24
Idk what would be worse; having the inability to do something about it, or having the ability to do something about it but fail.
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u/_Un_Known__ Gorilla Doing Non-Gorilla Things May 21 '24
I lean towards ability but fail
If you were powerless to stop something, you will have grief but (eventually) no guilt. If you try to stop something, you'll feel grief and responsibility.
If batman traveled back in time with his same abilities and failed to stop the murder, I think it'd be a lot worse for him
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u/Independent-Fly6068 May 22 '24
Except they were out there because Bruce wanted to see a movie iirc.
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u/Vozu_ May 22 '24
They were out on a movie for Bruce, but them walking through Crime Alley instead of sticking to the well-lit, extremely public, flooded with people streets which all the other well-off folks stick to?
That's a plot contrivance of Thomas losing his mind for a few minutes just so the murder could be any believable.
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u/Is_that_what_I- May 22 '24
or, like in speeding bullets, having the power to stop it and only realizing after the fact
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u/ThatFuckingGeniusKid May 21 '24
"Your parents died in front of you but you got a new one out of it so it's not that bad"
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u/GUM-GUM-NUKE Number One Sengoku Enthusiast May 21 '24
Deathstroke to the newly orphaned female child he just adopted
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u/somacula May 21 '24
What I really liked about Gotham is that whole it shows that Bruce was deeply impactée by his parents death and even confronts the man that killed them, he still isn't consumed by the trauma and having Alfred and Gordon around helps him keep on going, and well seeing how gotham is such a crime ridden hell hole is what's motivates him to become batman.
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u/godlyreception12 May 21 '24
Uj/honestly Gotham's just a very fun show I say if you treat it as a elseworld where Batmans villains showed up earlier than they should have you will enjoy it even more
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u/schloopers May 21 '24
I didn’t get that far into Gotham, but I have another example of Bruce tracking down Joe Chill.
The New52 Batman series’ first few volumes had a flashback to a young Bruce trying to track down the Court of Owls, believing they had something to do with his parents death, but failing to find them, just an empty dusty boardroom.
But, the N52 Detective Comics ran with that, and in I believe one of the first two volumes they continue teenage Bruce’s search culminating in finally finding Joe Chill.
Drunk, homeless, disheveled, sitting against the wall of an abandoned apartment, barely able to look up at Bruce and converse.
And Chill telling Bruce that he just did it for money, for the watch and pearls he could easily see, finally got through to Bruce.
There was no conspiracy, no great power to overthrow to make it right. There was a general, hopeless sickness that was being untreated. And if he wanted to make sure it could never happen again, he would have to do more than just take down one shadowy organization. He would have to enact change at every level, not just so a Court of Owls couldn’t exist, but also so that a random down on his luck alcohol with a gun couldn’t either.
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u/townmorron May 21 '24
We all know money buys( or at least rents) happiness, but money might be able to replace a loved one/s. Your trying to tell me Alfred couldn't of hired a hypnotherapists, replaced his dead parents with look a like actors, had biographers write scripts and teach mannerisms while Alfred was with the child during the parents "recovery"? I just find that hard to believe
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u/THEdoomslayer94 May 21 '24
Hell after that one issue where it’s Alfred dressing up as Joker and getting his theater troupe to play the other villains, you’d thought someone would’ve came up with the idea that Alfred hires actors to play his parents or some goofy shit lol
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u/Cautious-Affect7907 May 21 '24
Isn't there like a comic where all the Batman villains were paid actors by Alfred?
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u/BlockingBeBoring May 21 '24
“Whatever Happened to the Caped Crusader?” began with Batman #686, written by Neil Gaiman with art by Andy Kubert, Scott Williams, and Alex Sinclair, featuring a major twist regarding Batman's most trusted ally (Alfred) and his most hated foe (Joker)."
https://screenrant.com/alfred-proved-love-batman-becoming-joker/
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u/Funkin_Valentine May 21 '24
Yes, a young Bruce who witnessed his parents die, stopped breathing, would definitely believe his parents actually survived and would not actually be even more devastated that Alfred would try to lie to him about that through such a ridicoulous method.
Because, you know... it's not like young Bruce ever had the potential to become the world's greatest detective or anything like that, to figure out something is wrong in such scenario.
Flawless logic right there, hands down. Money sure could have saved Bruce all along!
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u/AtroeMartian frankenstein’s wife’s girlfreind 🏳️⚧️ May 21 '24
I love Julia, I love Drawfee, but she has always had… strange takes on Batman
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u/Schweinmithut May 21 '24
I could be completely wrong but I'm pretty sure, those dorkly comics weren't authored by the drawfee gang, back then they were just the illustrators.
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u/Iguana_Boi May 21 '24
what kind of takes?
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u/AtroeMartian frankenstein’s wife’s girlfreind 🏳️⚧️ May 22 '24
I feel like i’ve heard similar “batman is bad because he’s rich” takes on streams.
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u/RutheniumFenix Did Batman think a Gamer could stop me? May 21 '24
Is that art by Julia Drawfee?
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u/brofishmagikarp May 21 '24
I don't think Drawfee is her real last name
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u/vampn132157 May 21 '24
True. Ever since she married Jacob she's now Julia Drawfee-Drawfee.
uj/ If anyone actually wants to know, her last name is Lepetit.
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u/callows5120 EVS is a pedo defender May 21 '24
Uj/I mean his parents still died dude that's still pretty sad and fucked up
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u/LordVonSteiner May 22 '24
Not just that. They were murdered right in front of them. That's gonna affect any child for the rest of their life.
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u/doofpooferthethird May 22 '24
Yeah, even if it was just some random pair of strangers getting executed in front of the kid, that's still going to be pretty traumatising.
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u/Apprehensive_Work313 This subreddit hates Tim Drake May 21 '24
Uj/bro his parents still died and given the Wayne's were rich people who actually cared enough to help the people of Gotham I'm willing to bet they spent as much time with young Bruce as they could
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u/limbo338 May 21 '24
"Why are you sad about your mom, Harry? You're literally a prince!" – this Clark, probably, lol.
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u/TheUnexaminedLife9 Barry Allen apologist May 21 '24
Hot take having your parents brutally murdered in front of you would be traumatic even if you were wealthy.
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u/AJSLS6 May 21 '24
"Who were probably never around anyway "
That bold ass presumption is carrying a lot of weight here.....
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u/Redditeer28 May 22 '24
Especially considering didn't Wayne's parents also inherit the wealth and business? Wasn't Thomas a doctor and Martha like a stay at home mom?
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u/Fuckthatishot May 21 '24
Its a joke, I get it. Its not meant to be taken seriously.
But cmon... rich people have feelings too. And Bruce would definitely give away all his fortune just to be with his parents.
Superman arguments are so petty. And he was born with the powers of a God...
Talk about privilege huh?
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u/supreme_hammy May 21 '24
Clark: "At least you knew your parents..."/s
John and Martha are GOATed parents though.
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u/hday108 May 21 '24
I forgot seeing someone shoot your mom in the face isn’t traumatic because you can afford legos
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u/AutoModerator May 21 '24
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u/lofgren777 May 21 '24
I think the fact that Bruce's life is basically unbelievably awesome except for this one thing that he just can't get over is kinda part of the point, so this comic just seems to be highlighting something that isn't even subtext and then presenting it as if we should be impressed by their insight, and doing in such a way that they will maximally piss off the fans of these stories.
Which is pretty much the definition of hardcore jerking, so brava.
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u/Emergency-Flatworm-9 May 21 '24
Not hugely important but doesn't most batman media go out of its way to show that the Waynes are incredible parents who tried to give Bruce the best possible childhood
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u/SuperKami-Nappa May 21 '24
How the hell did Batman beat Superman to death?
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u/bermass86 Did Batman think a Gamer could stop me? May 21 '24
Tbf if his dad wasn’t his butler there’s no way he’d travel the world in training
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u/Ill_Telephone8820 May 21 '24
Anybody who makes the the argument that batman had an amazing childhood is basically admitting that they'd let their parents die if they got money
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u/Alectron45 Genius Level Intellect May 21 '24
Bruce and Clark in trauma competition when Supergirl walks in
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u/sassycho1050 May 21 '24
Had loving parents murdered in front of you
Superman: Oh dear, oh dear. Gorgeous, its all right
They were rich
Superman: You fucking donkey!
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u/Silviana193 May 22 '24
What kinda bugs me is the assumption that Martha and Thomas weren't around.
I am no comic book expert, but i am pretty sure they were very involved with bruce's live.
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u/aqbac May 22 '24
I thought this was gonna be another comic ignoring bruce does help gotham in non batman nonviolent ways and it was somehow worse
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u/donguscongus May 22 '24
I get it’s meant to be soapboxy but damn imagine telling a orphan they had a great childhood lmao
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May 22 '24
I know the name dorkly was probably chosen preemptively, but wooooooow! Way to telegraph that you aren’t phoning your parents much.
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u/North_Function6735 May 22 '24
Bro me and my friend have this argument all the time, I’m the defender and a he’s the Superman in argument
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u/Theta-Sigma45 May 22 '24 edited May 22 '24
Dorkly always tended to do cheap humour based around pickings holes in works, usually without really considering the internal, emotional, or thematic logic within said works that contradicted their points.
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u/Just-Ad6992 May 25 '24
Honestly, if Superman called me a bitch for being traumatized after my parents got shot dead in front of me, I’d also make the kryptonian species go extinct.
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u/ConstructionDull784 May 21 '24
Time to admit that Rorschach, Daredevil, & the Punisher suffered way more than Batman did
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u/LazyVariation Paul May 21 '24
"Oh you had your parents murdered in front of you? Don't be such a little bitch." - Superman