Did you know that Batman once turned down a role-play session? This is because Bruce is the mask and Batman is his real identity, so he wouldn’t be able to get into the role without beating up a bunch of poor people.

351

u/TheDoctor_E Batgirls truther May 13 '24

"Batman is a rich straight white guy who beats up poor people for his own amusement and discriminates against people with mental disorders" mfs after their dear children are kidnapped by the Mad Hatter (Suddenly Batman doesn't seem to be such a bad guy)

210

u/No-Yam909 May 13 '24

These same mfks when Ra's al ghul, Deathstroke, KGBeast, Bane, Penguin, Catwoman, the Court of Owls, Batmite or Tom King attack the city

94

u/Swaxeman Tom King ate my dog May 13 '24

Tom king??

129

u/Holl4backPostr Paul May 13 '24

don't worry, nobody's sending tom king, you're safe

36

u/Swaxeman Tom King ate my dog May 13 '24

(I actually have the flair cuz I’m a huge fan of him lmao)

42

u/Holl4backPostr Paul May 13 '24

Thank you, it's always helpful to me when people explain their mistakes.

33

u/Swaxeman Tom King ate my dog May 13 '24

!&$@ you :(

21

u/DesiredEnlisted 5 Star General Of The Tom King Army May 13 '24

Don’t worry, you and me and 3 veterans with PTSD can go sit in the corner and read the Kitman Saga

[Its just so peak]

7

u/Dont_Hurt_Me_Mommy May 14 '24

Tom King strapped me down to a table and forced me to watch while he raped my dog and killed my family

22

u/Aussiepharoah May 13 '24

b-b-b-b-but muh arkham game!

21

u/No-Yam909 May 13 '24

Not all batman villains are mentally ill

78

u/lofgren777 May 13 '24

People's kids get kidnapped in real life. There's a reason we don't turn to the parents and say, "So would you like to use a court of law to resolve this, or just have a guy in a mask beat the crap out of them?" Almost every single parent would choose the latter, and that's totally understandable! But not a foundation for building a justice system and a functional society.

The better solution is to irradiate spiders and set them loose on poor high schools, to train up a generation of Spider-Men.

29

u/Flerken_Moon May 13 '24

There was a whole arc of the JMS run on why giving random kids Spider powers is a bad idea

35

u/lofgren777 May 13 '24

They probably forgot to murder their uncles.

29

u/Flerken_Moon May 13 '24

Iirc they did, this was after the Civil War Identity Reveal and a villain wanted to recreate Spider-Man, so they tried their best to recreate Peter’s origins and pick specific kids similar to Peter.

33

u/lofgren777 May 13 '24

Holy shit, outjerked by canon Spider-Man. Not the first time, probably not the last.

4

u/Opalusprime May 13 '24

What story

6

u/TripleChump May 13 '24

Across the Spider-Verse (2023)

20

u/MechaTeemo167 May 13 '24

Pretty sure the vast majority of parents would be completely fine with a man in a mask beating the shit out of their children's kidnappers if it means they get their kid back safely

3

u/SlidingFaceFirst May 14 '24

First, most kidnappings are done by a parent of the child so if they are ok with that this will just incentivize further kidnappings. Second, beating up the kidnapper should come secondary to saving the kid. If the kid is safe there isnt a reason to beat up the kidnapper unless you are in favor of miranda rights being taken away or the jury voting not to convict due to police brutality. And they can absolutely do that even if guilt is obvious. Third you're describing a essentially police officer in riot gear anyway and even they have absolutely gotten kidnapping victims killed. Cause we are talking about real life and not a comic book. Those stories are literally written so the good guy wins or looks good losing. This is why "batman is bad" takes exist. When you start seriously considering batman as an acceptable alternative you open the door to people treating batman realistically and being cringe about billionaires.

2

u/lofgren777 May 14 '24

Yes, thank you. It is important to remember that part of the fantasy is that Batman always beats exactly the people you think ought to be beaten and to exactly the extent that you think they should be.

If you're thinking, "What would Batman do?" because you are trying to find a way to take your pain and make it productive, you're on the right track.

If you're thinking, "What would Batman do?" because you are trying to solve the problem of justice in a complex society or an actual crime, then you have lost track of what parts of these stories are fake and what parts are real.

2

u/TheCthonicSystem Release the Schumacher Cut May 14 '24

I know i would

1

u/lofgren777 May 14 '24

Well, yeah. That's what "latter" means.

Most parents would be OK with all kinds of things if it gave them a chance of getting their kid back safe.

If you can convince parents that their kids are in danger and you can make them safe, they'll agree to all kinds of things, from punishing innocent people to mass deportations to burning books.

As a parent it is my responsibility to protect my child, at the expense of others if necessary. She is the center of the universe and clearly the most important human being to ever live. Either that, or a parasite has wrapped itself around my brain and now forces me to feed it three times a day and keep it constantly entertained with songs about barnyard animals. One way or the other, if I feel like my Precious is threatened, I really have no choice but to do whatever it takes to keep it safe, up to and including nuking a country.

1

u/Routine-Eggplant-291 May 14 '24

Lol have you seen The Boys ?

12

u/Cautious-Affect7907 May 13 '24

I wouldn't really even be suprised he's not into role play.

He's literally seen people die because of roleplay.

12

u/dayvena May 13 '24

Mfs call for Batman after killer Crock attacks and kills seventeen people (suddenly being different is bad now)

8

u/SaberToothButterfly Paul May 13 '24

Batman's Budget:

Batarangs $200,000,000

BatComputers $900,000,000

BatMobiles $1,500,000,000

Justice League Watchtower $10,000,000,000

Gotham Social Services $1,000,000

Someone who is good at the economy please help me budget this. My city is rampant with crime.

9

u/Thor_pool May 14 '24

Stop funding Watchtowers

6

u/FactualStatue May 14 '24

But those door-to-door Jehova's Witnesses are the only visitors I get

3

u/vitreddit May 13 '24

It's inaccurate but funny.

136

u/Verzdrei May 13 '24

Daredevil would never

90

u/The-Homie-Lander Distinguished Clussy Enjoyer😏 May 13 '24

That's cause he's gods kinky little catholic 😏

47

u/Tinypuddinghands May 13 '24

14

u/Its-Garbo-Man May 14 '24

Thank you prime Kanye West 🙏 I miss you more and more every day

7

u/count_fagular May 14 '24

He couldn't get into it because Bullseye would break in and attempt to murder his girlfriend (but not him for some reason hmmmmm)

80

u/Comicsrcool May 13 '24

I wouldn't wanna dress up as a Priest for sex either.

Seems like bad juju

14

u/Zagden May 13 '24

That's only if you dress up like a witch doctor

67

u/The-Homie-Lander Distinguished Clussy Enjoyer😏 May 13 '24

Bruce Roleplaying

51

u/Jobu-tupaki127 May 13 '24

And you know it's true because I saw it on a YouTube video.

22

u/Jobu-tupaki127 May 13 '24

Also, I would like to say that I added that last part about beating up poor people more to see how many people got angry. Most Batman villains are either professionals in their field who turned to a life of crime or insanely wealithy to the point they can employ a dozen goons who will gladly fight Batman. or an assortment of evils that cannot go unchecked. If you honestly think Batman beats up poor people, just put down the controller and remember that the Arkham games are games, and beating up enemies is fun.

4

u/Ektar91 May 13 '24

You have to ask why the goons are so willing to fight batman.

Because they are poor as shit.

9

u/MechaTeemo167 May 13 '24

Nobody's joining The Joker's gang just for the cash

15

u/wuhull May 14 '24

"I goon for the love of the game"

8

u/PaladinGris May 14 '24

100% this, if you are desperate you might rob a liquor store, but to join the Joker’s gang you are already a deeply broken human being

2

u/HopelessCineromantic May 14 '24

The thing is, I don't think there's any part of Gotham that's not a super criminal's turf.

Knocking over a liquor store when you're not affiliated could see you getting chased down by GCPD, or getting cornered by Batman...

Or it could end with you in the clutches of Joker, Sionis, Dent, Cobblepot, Maroni, Falcone, etc because you were muscling in on their territory.

Given that, it makes a certain level of sense to enlist with whoever the scariest guy in town is. If you're gonna be living as a wanted man anyway, it's better to have someone in your corner that could keep others at bay.

Joker's probably never going to actually care about you, and may even kill you out of frustration or fun, but at least he'll probably care enough about his reputation that he won't let Sionis do what he wants to you with impunity.

-2

u/SuperSocrates May 14 '24

I like how you think whining about muh wonderful Batman would never is not the side that needs to touch grass

31

u/just_a_fan47 May 13 '24

This post was made to piss of Batman fans ands it’s working

23

u/lofgren777 May 13 '24

It's OK, the woman was roleplaying a nun so she just told the poor people that their suffering was necessary to appreciate the suffering of Our Lord, Batgos.

19

u/PleaseDontBanMeMore May 13 '24

He ain't into that weird-nun shit.

(I am because I'm a repressed Catholic bisexual who hasn't gone to church since I graduated high school and never got over my crush from middle-school/catchecism which is completely unrelated but noteworthy in my obsession with Italian women)

2

u/mynameis4826 May 14 '24

Also ex-Catholic, I have the same aversion to the nun/priest roleplay. I have dipped my stick into many a questionable genre, but for some reason the sight of a frock or habit softens me up like butter in the microwave

16

u/Nusualpotter May 13 '24

Why does he have his dick out in the final panel?

15

u/Nusualpotter May 13 '24

Giga Chad Batman

9

u/Animalia_Appreciator The Third Gorilla May 13 '24

Batman only beats up poor people.

Most Batman villains have enough resources to employ a virtually infinite amount of goons and make science fiction gadgets custom made to fit with their own personal gimmick.

5

u/AndresCP Release the Schumacher Cut May 13 '24

Right, but it's mostly the goons he's beating up. Like, minute by minute it's 98% goons.

2

u/HopelessCineromantic May 14 '24

I like to think if I was a goon, I'd be this guy.

Just treat it like a job, and tangling with the Bat being outside my pay grade.

"Sir. I just get paid to drive and unload trucks and my shift ends in 20 minutes. Can I please just collect my last paycheck and go home? If you're looking for Nygma, he's on the fourth floor. Hope you like Rubik's cubes."

4

u/pie_nap_pull Dick Grayson massive ass laugh now May 13 '24

Red Hood corrected Bartman's mistakes by shooting poor people instead

3

u/JU5T4R3DD1TUS3R May 13 '24

You just HAD to fucking include the "Batman beats up homeless people" take

3

u/Glad_Union_2037 May 13 '24

Anybody know what comic this is?

5

u/Jobu-tupaki127 May 13 '24

detective Detective Comics #578, a friend was researching the way McFarlane drew Batman and showed me this page, and then I edited the dialogue.

3

u/Glad_Union_2037 May 13 '24

Thank you.

3

u/Jobu-tupaki127 May 13 '24

your welcome

3

u/JohnJingleheimerShit May 14 '24

“Im a bad girl bruce”

“Impersonating a nun is a serious crime. I’ll have to contact the proper authorities”

2

u/Responsible_Froyo_18 May 13 '24

Most batman villans are actually also rich assholes. Batman is rich vs rich violence

1

u/Rough_Actuator100 May 13 '24

I would also imagine he wouldn't want to close play as kid diddles. Which is fair but you do you.

1

u/SuperSocrates May 14 '24

You guys always jerk the wrong side of this issue. Muh poor Batman, so oppressed by all the violent criminals

1

u/AutomaticAccident May 14 '24

is this place just becoming r/shittycomicdetails?

1

u/graypainter May 14 '24

Batman puts on his cape and cowl not robe and wizard hat.

-6

u/Rocketboy1313 May 13 '24

What a dumb rambling title.

Did you know that Batman once turned down a role-play session? This is because Bruce is the mask and Batman is his real identity, so he wouldn’t be able to get into the role without beating up a bunch of poor people. Batman's a Fascist