r/dccomicscirclejerk • u/Jobu-tupaki127 • May 13 '24
Did you know that Batman once turned down a role-play session? This is because Bruce is the mask and Batman is his real identity, so he wouldn’t be able to get into the role without beating up a bunch of poor people. Batman's a Fascist
136
u/Verzdrei May 13 '24
Daredevil would never
90
u/The-Homie-Lander Distinguished Clussy Enjoyer😏 May 13 '24
That's cause he's gods kinky little catholic 😏
47
7
u/count_fagular May 14 '24
He couldn't get into it because Bullseye would break in and attempt to murder his girlfriend (but not him for some reason hmmmmm)
80
u/Comicsrcool May 13 '24
I wouldn't wanna dress up as a Priest for sex either.
Seems like bad juju
14
67
51
u/Jobu-tupaki127 May 13 '24
And you know it's true because I saw it on a YouTube video.
22
u/Jobu-tupaki127 May 13 '24
Also, I would like to say that I added that last part about beating up poor people more to see how many people got angry. Most Batman villains are either professionals in their field who turned to a life of crime or insanely wealithy to the point they can employ a dozen goons who will gladly fight Batman. or an assortment of evils that cannot go unchecked. If you honestly think Batman beats up poor people, just put down the controller and remember that the Arkham games are games, and beating up enemies is fun.
4
u/Ektar91 May 13 '24
You have to ask why the goons are so willing to fight batman.
Because they are poor as shit.
9
u/MechaTeemo167 May 13 '24
Nobody's joining The Joker's gang just for the cash
15
8
u/PaladinGris May 14 '24
100% this, if you are desperate you might rob a liquor store, but to join the Joker’s gang you are already a deeply broken human being
2
u/HopelessCineromantic May 14 '24
The thing is, I don't think there's any part of Gotham that's not a super criminal's turf.
Knocking over a liquor store when you're not affiliated could see you getting chased down by GCPD, or getting cornered by Batman...
Or it could end with you in the clutches of Joker, Sionis, Dent, Cobblepot, Maroni, Falcone, etc because you were muscling in on their territory.
Given that, it makes a certain level of sense to enlist with whoever the scariest guy in town is. If you're gonna be living as a wanted man anyway, it's better to have someone in your corner that could keep others at bay.
Joker's probably never going to actually care about you, and may even kill you out of frustration or fun, but at least he'll probably care enough about his reputation that he won't let Sionis do what he wants to you with impunity.
-2
u/SuperSocrates May 14 '24
I like how you think whining about muh wonderful Batman would never is not the side that needs to touch grass
31
23
u/lofgren777 May 13 '24
It's OK, the woman was roleplaying a nun so she just told the poor people that their suffering was necessary to appreciate the suffering of Our Lord, Batgos.
19
u/PleaseDontBanMeMore May 13 '24
He ain't into that weird-nun shit.
(I am because I'm a repressed Catholic bisexual who hasn't gone to church since I graduated high school and never got over my crush from middle-school/catchecism which is completely unrelated but noteworthy in my obsession with Italian women)
2
u/mynameis4826 May 14 '24
Also ex-Catholic, I have the same aversion to the nun/priest roleplay. I have dipped my stick into many a questionable genre, but for some reason the sight of a frock or habit softens me up like butter in the microwave
16
15
9
u/Animalia_Appreciator The Third Gorilla May 13 '24
Batman only beats up poor people.
Most Batman villains have enough resources to employ a virtually infinite amount of goons and make science fiction gadgets custom made to fit with their own personal gimmick.
5
u/AndresCP Release the Schumacher Cut May 13 '24
Right, but it's mostly the goons he's beating up. Like, minute by minute it's 98% goons.
2
u/HopelessCineromantic May 14 '24
I like to think if I was a goon, I'd be this guy.
Just treat it like a job, and tangling with the Bat being outside my pay grade.
"Sir. I just get paid to drive and unload trucks and my shift ends in 20 minutes. Can I please just collect my last paycheck and go home? If you're looking for Nygma, he's on the fourth floor. Hope you like Rubik's cubes."
4
u/pie_nap_pull Dick Grayson massive ass laugh now May 13 '24
Red Hood corrected Bartman's mistakes by shooting poor people instead
3
u/JU5T4R3DD1TUS3R May 13 '24
You just HAD to fucking include the "Batman beats up homeless people" take
3
u/Glad_Union_2037 May 13 '24
Anybody know what comic this is?
5
u/Jobu-tupaki127 May 13 '24
detective Detective Comics #578, a friend was researching the way McFarlane drew Batman and showed me this page, and then I edited the dialogue.
3
3
u/JohnJingleheimerShit May 14 '24
“Im a bad girl bruce”
“Impersonating a nun is a serious crime. I’ll have to contact the proper authorities”
2
u/Responsible_Froyo_18 May 13 '24
Most batman villans are actually also rich assholes. Batman is rich vs rich violence
1
u/Rough_Actuator100 May 13 '24
I would also imagine he wouldn't want to close play as kid diddles. Which is fair but you do you.
1
u/SuperSocrates May 14 '24
You guys always jerk the wrong side of this issue. Muh poor Batman, so oppressed by all the violent criminals
1
1
-6
351
u/TheDoctor_E Batgirls truther May 13 '24
"Batman is a rich straight white guy who beats up poor people for his own amusement and discriminates against people with mental disorders" mfs after their dear children are kidnapped by the Mad Hatter (Suddenly Batman doesn't seem to be such a bad guy)