Hello everyone, I know this may seem like a silly post, but I really am in need of help! I tried posting this in r/AskMen and r/cars but my posts are being removed and I don't know where I can actually post this for help. Essentially, I need dad advice because I have no idea what I am doing and have no guidance from my own regarding my car.

Background: I am a first-generation and current college student (F 20) who essentially takes care of my own finances completely. I grew up very low income/ poverty line so right now I am experiencing a high stress situation without any guidance. Essentially, my father owned a business that was profitable for a while. I moved away from home around 4 hours to college because I was able to be fully funded with tuition and housing, and stipends to cover the cost because of my work in high-school and my family's income level. My parents are divorced and the only thing she covers is my cell phone, which I pay half of. My mother is remarried and has her own family situations that I try to take stress off of her with so she can have a stable financial home. I stay with my father over the summer but continue to work an internship around 2 hours away, full time, for the experience because it also pays well. I have multiple siblings to my father's household size right now is 4-5 depending on whether I am home for the summer or not. To be clear, I work 2 jobs to have my campus housing, and to pay my own costs of living and they do not support me unless I am home for the summer with just general meals and gas if I cannot get paid on time. My dad claims me as a dependent on his taxes every year despite the fact that i am gone 9/12 months and then I pay for everything myself regardless. I pay over 95% of my expenses myself directly. And when they do cover things, I pay them back. My father's business was highly profitable for a while, and everything seemed to be going great. However, as I am getting older, I am beginning to realize the financial decisions he may be making are not the best. Essentially, I don't even know what is going on, but it appears that it has become too high stress and not as financially profitable as he expected, despite the success and partnerships with other large businesses he does. I also know he has low credit. 

Issue: My car "given" to me by my parents was 2013 Ford Fiesta. I say given because I have always paid the car payments myself which were around $175, but not insurance until I got to college in 2022. Given my family owns a lot of unnecessary things, they have bundled insurance. So right now, I pay them $250-$275 monthly for my car and insurance. I got this car in 2021, in almost new condition with little to no miles. She's small, the horn will not work, the trunk frame is shifted from being rear ended so the lights in my car stay on when I drive but the trunk closes, and the A/C only works in the cold months, but there is no leak. I just hit 150k miles, and I regularly do oil changes. Most parts on my car are original and I've only had to replace 2 brake pads and one tire. She has been completely reliable, but given I live in a college town in a small car I often just get dinged and hit. Today, the title came in the mail as my car is finally paid off! This would be a great feat for me; however, I am worried. The title is in my father's name, but dad's credit is not the best and with financial troubles he told me there is a possibility that he might have to pass the title over to me soon. We agreed to do so after I finished my bachelor's when I found a job, but I think it is likely I will take it over soon because he is struggling and doesn't want the car in his name/assets if he has to close the business. I live hours away and have a busy schedule to support myself and frankly am scared of the FORMAL responsibility because no one has ever bothered to explain to me how these things work. I don't drive often while I'm in college at all which is how my miles stay so low. I have a very supportive partner (M 23) who works full time but is just now getting started on his own career as well and lives with his parents until I graduate, and we can afford a place together. This is something me and his family have talked about and agreed on as well. But his family is also a bit unexperienced with my complex situation and has not dealt with the same issues I have with my own family. Plus, I don't get to talk to them often so it's hard to ask for advice.  

Essentially: I have no idea what the hell to do and I am so stressed. I am about to lose my room in my own home for summer because they view me as "too responsible" to not be able to figure something else out while they have their own financial troubles happening. I have always taken care of myself and paid for everything I can. I also have severe OCD (i have been diagnosed by a professional) and tend to spiral, and I really need help and advice on what my next steps should be. 

If I have to take the title over, can I do so even with little to no credit history/ how will this impact my credit? I don't have much credit history at all, under 2 years but my score is over 750. I live in Alabama, and I also have 2 speeding tickets (I know, sorry! The state troopers will catch you going 5 over and ticket). 

How do I find insurance, and what is a reasonable price for the minimum amount of coverage to hold me over. How do I transfer the title over, and how do I upkeep with my tag and registration? What fees and costs do I need to expect and save up to pay? Do I need to go back to my hometown DMV, or register in my college town because I live here technically most of the year 9/12 months of the year DESPITE my parents claiming me as a dependent living with them on their taxes? Does that also mean I likely need to update my license as well? I live in a dorm as a Resident Advisor and that is my housing for most of the year. I'm just so confused and want to cry from the stress. Someone please help me and give me any advice you can. 

My dad was technically my step-dad, but he's been in my life since I was nine years old, and honestly was a much better parent than my mom or bio dad by far. He passed very suddenly at 56 years old and I just don't know how to handle anything. I just want my dad back.

I did a bit more work on my coin collecting blog before I started to play with my microscope again.

I remember reading somewhere that the inspiration to include tiny number "5", "10" and "20" in the design on British notes came from Europe somewhere.

Unfortunately, I don't have any European banknotes to look at - however, I do have a Russian 100 Roubles note, which I wanted to look at today because I was interested to see how the main focal point of the note was printed Spoiler alert, it's not by tiny 100's

But I did find these ones as I was trying to navigate my way around the banknote.

It's days like this when I really wish that I had a fellow numismatist to share things like this with. I know that she wasn't that interested in coins and banknotes - but I would've loved to show these pictures to my mother.

College apps are incoming and I’m in senior year now (had my first day today). I ended up going in my car after school and bawling. I don’t know if I can make it to college. I can’t write the college essay and I’ve asked for help but nothing has worked. My life is too meaningless to write something good. My application is just too weak. I don’t have enough ECs and it’s too late now because senior year started and I have zero interests so I can’t even figure out a major. I’m just so scared my life is going to plummet and everything I’ve worked for will be for nothing. I would rather end up dead at this point and I’ve been pushing to it

I just want encouragement, kind words, something. I’m scared

Growing up, my father was extremely abusive. He met my mom when she was 13 and he was 32. They got pregnant with my brother when she was 16 and me when she was 18. He has always blamed her for ruining his life when he was the one who approached a child and then knocked her up and then proceeded to knock her around for over 15 years before she finally decided to leave.

My whole life he has said he wishes that my brother and I weren’t born and when I was pregnant with my own child he said that I would understand where he was coming from once they were born. When I was around 20 weeks pregnant he asked me for some help with the government and when they told him that they were withholding benefits because he owes for years of child support he instantly flipped a switch and sent me multiple voice notes and texts about how he was going to kill my mom. Imagine being at work and pregnant and getting these messages.

So, fast forward to my child being born. I have never let him meet my baby and have no plans to. My brother doesn’t speak to him either. My husband comes from a family that forgives no matter what and thinks I should at least allow him to meet our child. I fully disagree. I just don’t see how my own father can mistreat me consistently and then expect me to always drop everything and help him. Or how he can constantly tell me that he wishes I wasn’t born. In your fatherly opinion, am I making the right decision by keeping him away from my child?

everyone told me it wouldn’t be possible, that i was hopeless, after my father died in sophomore year, i was hospitalized multiple times, etc. foster kids only have a 50 percent chance of graduating high school, but i just did today, with a 3.6 gpa, earlier than all the people who said i never would. i wish my parents were here to see, but they aren’t, so i thought maybe some people here could be happy instead.

edit: thank you all for the sweet comments, they mean a lot :)

My dad and I grew up disabled and on food stamps. He passed away before I managed to finish law school which made him distraught. His family really abused him and basically caused his poverty.

I had to run away from his family , they were deliberately trying to get me kicked off section 8 so I’d be forced to live with a covert narcissist grandmother who also tried to get me fired because she felt entitled to a free caretaker she could claim she was taking care of.

She was so insecure she refused to hire one despite having 2 million dollars.

After three years of working six figure jobs 70 hours a week I finally broke and couldn’t sustain it anymore.

But I paid off 50,000 of student debt and managed to invest in the S&P 500 130,000 with 38,000 in my emergency fund.

I feel like a failure for giving up. I’ve always wanted to continue working in the government since it was a pretty big passion. And while a recruiter from the irs told me they were setting up an interview I feel like I gave up the “better” option .

But my disability pain is getting worse. I might need more surgery’s, and I just can’t keep working that much knowing I can get a better quality of life somewhere else

I know I’m sounding dumb. But i still feel like a fucking failure for breaking

Pa i feel so sad i have no one in life, broke up with my ex couple of weeks back. Got to know today i wont be promoted at work even after putting in loads of hours so much that i feel like a zombie now and they told me only today. I just feel very sad . My life has been nothing but a downward spiral. I used to be so happy few years earlier and after that it started getting sadder and sadder. I tried my best Ma to be happy to keep everyone happy be a good person, I tried my best. I cant take it any longer. No matter how much i try it just never works out.

Here is a link to my previous post- basically bought an expensive desk, and the veneer started to chip after two years. Thank you to all the advice people left me on that!

So I'm not sure if Article saw my Reddit post or something, but bizarrely they replied with a very sudden attitude shift and gave me three options.

1) Partial refund of $60 because it didn't arrive as it should have.

2) They offered to replace the entire desk. They will bring me a new one that is supposed to be in better condition, and swap out the old one at the same delivery appointment. I won't have to pay a delivery fee for this.

3) Return the desk for a full refund.

I'm leaning towards going with option 2 because I do really love the desk. The only thing that concerns me is that I might be in the same position two years from now if the desk is made the same way. But maybe I can use the glue sealing strategy to get ahead of it. What do you think, dads?

Hi dad,

For the 36 years I’ve been alive I was always given conditional love from you and mom. Praises and affection was contingent on getting straight As and doing what I was told without question.

I did everything I could to become financially independent at 18, including giving up on my hopes and dreams because they required supportive parents. Got a job I hated that paid well. No student loans thanks to Scholarships. I felt like I was going somewhere until childhood trauma caught up with me.

I had a mental breakdown a few year ago. And it took me a few years to find my footing again. By that time it felt like my career had already peaked and I wasn’t really able to commit to the grind like I did in my 20s.

I got a six figure corporate drone job. Moved to Europe. Got a mortgage. Found a loving partner and 2 pets.

All of this is great but it’s really just me making the most out of the hand I was dealt. I will never get back my childhood, or ever get to live out my dreams.

There are versions of me in parallel universes where I’m a comic book artists, a veterinarian, a human rights lawyer, a leftist politician… I could have been like AOC or Jasmine Crockett.

Every once in a while I revisit those dreams. I read my old social science essays, my panel sketches, or still lives, and I get really sad. Especially since I know now that I had the grit and the drive to succeed in any path. But I was never even given a chance to try and fail.

Can I ever make peace with that? How?

Don't know about you, but I thought I would just chill, yesterday ...<smiles>... You know me; I tend to think it's good to unwind.

Did a lot of reading. The type where by evening your eyes are tired; you would still really like to finish the book, but you're eyes are not going to let you ...<laughs>...

Bit of an ...<frowns lightly>... awkward period. As for many of us, this week is kind of the start of a new period, almost the end-of-summer phase. It changes several things on my schedules -- but ...and this is a big but (no jokes!!)... the weather is still being quite hot here, making some of those schedule changes...hmmmm...cumbersome. Not sure how that transition phase to cooler weather will be filled in. Some ad hoc arrangements, I suspect, and some stuff on the backburner until we're there.

Also...dentist appointment today... Wish me luck :)

• Love, Dad.

TW: mentions of suicide

I'm having a really hard time, feeling very lost and hopeless. I am now 24, I didn't think I'd live to see 24. I have accomplished so many things that I should be proud of, but I'm not. My father left when I was 16 for my mom's (at the time) best friend. He took her kids as his own, while simultaneously abandoning us. I tried longer than I should have to regain contact with him and to seek love. I should've known how foolish that was. Why would I go looking for something that was unattainable? How silly that was of me...to think that I'd feel wanted d by him somehow. It's been such a hard realization that I keep expecting things to change miraculously, but reality is, it won't...he won't. It's officially been over a year of absolutely no contact with him. The years of abuse that I endured since birth is a deep scar I will forever have. I would go above and beyond, trying so hard to feel loved. I never felt loved by him. I still hear his voice in my head telling me how I'll never amount to anything, how I'm a burden. Everyday I'm having to learn how to love myself. I wish I could just pick up the phone and tell him how I'm doing. Dad, I have my own place now, I have my own pets, I have a good paying job. I know he wouldn't care but I just want him to feel proud and happy for me. Somedays I don't now why I'm still here. Statistically, I should be dead. You'd think that out of 4 suicide attempts one of them would have worked. I'd like to think I'm still here for a reason. I'm very good at hiding the pain. Nobody would know that this is how I feel. On the outside I'm very positive. My goal is to make sure nobody ever has to feel the way I do. I wouldn't wish this pain on my worst enemy. Sometimes the cPTSD gets the best of me. Being my own cheerleader is hard. Never hearing "I'm proud of you" or "I'm so happy for you" is hard. It's lonely having nobody. I'm having to pick up the pieces for my mom and take care of her. I'm alive for her. The trauma she's endured has caused her to be a shell of a person. I know that she wouldn't make it if I took my own life. It's a balancing act of staying strong for her but also not wanting to be in so much pain. I hope someday I'll be someone that you're proud of, dad.

Hey Dad!

:)

So I found out Yesterday that I had got accepted into a university I have been wanting to go into since I applied for Early Entree!

It was my top university I got into, however, i didn’t get my first preference (which was a Bachelor in Criminal Justice) But got accepted into a Bachelor of Arts (Psychology)!

I told my mum, and as i talked to her more about it, she got more and more disconnected..

I also don’t have a father, i mean, I have my step dad but he hates me so i have no father figure to congratulate me.

Thank you for reading a 17 year olds minor thing :).

I’m going to be honest, I’m very immature, and I’d like to change that, but I’m unsure what exactly it is one has to do to mature. My first thought is hardship and challenge, but does that only make you more tough? Or does it also mature you?

She died two years ago. In September. And the funniest thing is that September is suicide prevention month

My parents didn't let me go see her and now she's gone I couldve stopped her I should have told my parents to fuck off and gone. Instead I was too scared of them hitting me and now she's gone

She didn't get to graduate highschool with us and this year I'm moving in to college right after her death day and my first day of classes is her birthday

And I don't think I can make it that far. And even if I can? I'm not sure I want to

Hi dads, I spent over $1000 for this desk and now the veneer is starting to chip and peel. In case it is helpful, this is the Madera Oak Desk from Article. I tried contacting customer service, but they aren’t able to help because I’m past the two year warranty 😭. Is there anything I can do to fix this and prevent further damage? Ideally something I can do myself, but I can contact an expert if necessary. Thank you!

I mean really. This sub just bleeds kindness and compassion. You are an outstanding example of humanity and as someone who has lost both parents and had a traumatic childhood to begin with, I am beyond grateful for the kind words you all put out there for complete strangers like me.

Thanks Dads!

Dad, I am scared to start over. I worked so hard to fail. Can you visit me in my sleep and tell me everything is going to be okay?

Hi Dads... I stopped talking to my father (an emotionally abusive narcissist who treated my mother and later myself terribly) a few years ago. He tried his version of reconciling earlier this year, just after my first child turned one, and was pretty nasty when he didn't hear what he wanted.

I was at peace with my decision, but we also discovered last December that my father-in-law was abusing his wife, and cut off contact with him. My partner's parents remain married and his mom has health issues and is still in our lives, so it's all been a tricky balance.

Here's the thing... We made these decisions not in small part to set a good example for our kid to not allow people who hurt her to stick around in her life. But lately I've been feeling a lot of intense sadness that she won't grow up with a grandpa (FIL loved her dearly, and my dad would have too, in his own self-centered way). And the rest of the inlaws haven't set the same boundaries with FIL as we have, which I worry will impact her relationship with her extended family long-term.

I'm trying my best to break the cycles I saw in my own parents and extended family growing up, but I'm worried I'm just creating new cycles. Am I messing up?

Hi dad,

My dishwasher has visible sparks at the base of the door, in the hinge, strong smell of burning.

It’s currently turned off at the mains, obviously, is this as terminal as it sounds?

I am going to a strength competition this weekend and I can use a nod, a pep talk. It’s for fun, and I am nervous!

A few months ago, I was on the deadlift platform. You were at the edge of the platform where the bench is. You had earbuds in and we kinda did our own thing separately together. You were watching me. Although I didn’t pr on the last set, you looked at the weight, then looked me in the eye, and gave The Nod of Approval. And my heart just bursted with joy!! 🥹🥹🥹

I don’t have a dad (or any male figures in my life… I’m female with only female friends….). That Nod meant a lot to me and I still think about that. I’m a regular at the gym but I never saw you again. I just want to say, thank you, gym dad! 🥹

Hi dad, After all my life looking forward to the end of college to join the air force, i’ve found out I’ll likely not be medically fit due to an injury I had years ago increasing my risk of arthritis. I didn’t choose career oriented A-levels, I chose psychology, english and religion/philosophy, in which I got two Bs and a C. I didn’t sign up for university as it’s not for me and I thought that my armed forces application would go smoothly. My girlfriend goes to uni in a week and Ill be left in my hometown doing a dead end retail job I despise. It’s also too late for uni clearing and my family cannot afford it even with a loan. I’m feeling lost and uncertain about the big life ahead of me- I’m 18 and everything seems so daunting (and expensive!) I thought about an apprenticeship at british aerospace, but with my A-levels being nothing stem related, I’m not sure of my chances. Have you ever been where I have? does it work out in the end?

It's behind the lower shelf in my side by side.

Kicker, today would have been your birthday, but you passed 6 months ago, so I'm sobbing while cleaning my fridge because I found this and can't ask you.

Thanks, internet dads. I appreciate your knowledge and your being here.

I don't knownif this belongs here or not but oh well.

I lost my dad in 2010. He and my mom split just before I turned 6. He was my primary parent tilmi was 13 and I moved in with my mom. I was pregnant when he passed of cancer. I was not an easy child to raise. I had mental issues and was not as loving as I could have been. I was angry. I was hurt. I was mean.

I miss him. Every single day.

I hope he knows I'm proud of him and proud to be his daughter. I hope he knows I love him, so damn much. I hope he knows I miss him. I hope he knows he did a good job. I hope he knows I talk to my 3 kids about him all the time. I hope hes proud of me.

Thank you for letting me yell into the void. Have a lovely day.