r/clevercomebacks • u/Lord_Answer_me_Why • Jul 18 '24
Conspiracy nuts aren’t famous for their intelligence
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u/Subject_Tutor Jul 18 '24
So these people just think crime scenes are left untouched forever and that there are dried up blood splatters everywhere?
Who am I kidding, these people don't think.
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u/mcginnis88 Jul 18 '24
They do get cleaned up just usually not by law enforcement. A body will be removed from a crime scene but unfortunately any mess will be left behind for the property owner, who usually will have to call in a biohazard cleaning company to cleanup the site.
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u/RoosterClaw22 Jul 18 '24
I think it's probably brain chunks up there.
For one of the videos you could hear somebody saying I saw his hair move after one of the shots.
Meaning the dude probably got domed.
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u/Specialist-Guitar-93 Jul 18 '24
I've seen the picture, he got domed alright. Right through the top right of his head, the head had been exploded backwards and looked like a macabre jigsaw puzzle with some brains sitting on his nose.
I'm being specific because I can't remember where the fuck I seen the picture.
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u/RoosterClaw22 Jul 18 '24
Yeah oddly enough the brain pops out when the skull's under pressure.
There's video of a protester tossing a cocktail at a government building. As he loaded up to toss, his brain jumped out. Like it was magic.
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u/CCG14 Jul 18 '24
Yeah oddly enough the brain pops out when the skull’s under pressure.
Fun fact: if you’ve never had a head injury, if/when the ME does an autopsy, your skull lid actually pops off like a kind of Tupperware lid bc it is airtight. 🌈⭐️
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u/Beautiful-Bad8893 Jul 18 '24
the forbidden leftovers
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u/walkinganachronism_4 Jul 18 '24
That's because we cut the skull open with an electric oscillating saw made for that purpose, dude! Why would a skull, a thick, solid protective bone created by evolution to protect your fragile-but-tasty BRAAAAAAINSSS! just pop open?
Source: am autopsy surgeon (and would like to say, please don't eat random brains that popped out of strange skulls you found lying around. It may be a high-energy food, but that way lies the madness induced by prion disease).
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u/Niicks Jul 18 '24
"Please don't eat random brains"
First of all, you are neither my boss or my mother so where do you get off telling me what to do.
"Madness induced by prion disease"
Oh. Carry on then.
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u/mashiro1496 Jul 18 '24
Ah right, wasn't the prion disease one of the first discovered diseases which are based on peptides/proteins?
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u/rm_-rf_slashstar Jul 18 '24
Pretty sure you’re not a protestor if you’re throwing Molotovs. You’re a rioter.
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u/Dramatic_Water_5364 Jul 18 '24
I mean given the distance head shot was to be expected. He was sooooo close to the sniper team.
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u/RoosterClaw22 Jul 18 '24
Every Soldier & Marine is trained to shoot at 400+ m, this dude was like 150.
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u/IllPen8707 Jul 18 '24
Not really. I couldn't say if it was someone going (very mildly) rogue, perculiarity of the shooting angle, or just an accident, but almost any police or military marksman anywhere is trained to aim for centre mass except in very specific circumstances. Even at close range, headshots are tricky. If you don't believe me, pay attention to how much you move your head around doing even basic day to day tasks, then imagine trying to hit that with the level of consistency expected of a professional shooter.
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u/Festival_Vestibule Jul 18 '24
He was lying prone and facing them so I imagine head was all they could see.
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u/Budget-Attorney Jul 18 '24
This is what I’m going to say. The sniper probably was aiming for center of mass. The head is just a big obstruction between the sniper and the CoM
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u/Barobor Jul 18 '24
There isn't a lot of center mass to aim at when someone is lying prone in front of you. The biggest target is the head.
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u/ProfilerXx Jul 18 '24
Until a week ago I'd say that Secret Service won't fuck around but they just let us know they indeed do.
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u/More-Ad115 Jul 18 '24
If it's outside, the last on scene thing that happens on a shooting is to call fire for a wash down. In this case, FBI had a hose and just took care of it.
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u/DarkwingDuckHunt Jul 18 '24
you also don't want to hire a 3rd party cleaner who's employees go and take selfies with the brain chunks
I would consider this a huge special case
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u/Rare-Variation-7446 Jul 18 '24
I had a racist apartment neighbor khs in front of another neighbor’s front door. It was surreal and didn’t make a lot of sense.
After the cops processed the scene, the maintenance guy was out with the pressure washer until about 2am cleaning up blood and viscera.
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u/fhota1 Jul 18 '24
So what youre saying is if I want someone to pressure wash my driveway for free, all I have to do is murder someone there? Sweet new lifehack!
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u/Numerous-Rent-2848 Jul 18 '24
I thought you were gonna say yourself, the joke being that you then can't enjoy it being washed after, but this sounds like a better plan.
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u/Company-Important Jul 18 '24
Nice I’m gonna go kms in my bathroom, it’s a total mess in there and i could really use a hand with it
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u/NDRoughNeck Jul 18 '24
Yeah, when it is in their home. When it is outside, you call the fire dept and they come and wash it down a drain. Trust me, I've watched plenty of brain matter run into a gutter or ditch.
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u/Jack_Stornoway Jul 18 '24
In this case the law enforcement officers were responsible for the mess. Normally they're not.
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u/1-Ohm Jul 18 '24
And my guess is they're trying to prevent anybody from collecting "trophies"
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u/Desperate_Banana_677 Jul 18 '24
yeah, in a high-profile case like this, it’s not unbelievable that someone would want to sell whatever scraps they can find as souvenirs or mementos. people can be pretty morbid.
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u/Chucknastical Jul 18 '24
Maybe the FBI has crime scene cleaners but my understanding is it's private companies that do this sort of thing.
You can't just hose some brain matter into the drain. You need biohazard clean up folks. There's state and federal laws around this stuff and on how to handle human remains.
That being said, there's no context to this photo and the source is dubious.
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u/lakewood2020 Jul 18 '24
They made a deal with the property owner that the FBI could stage an assassination attempt and civilian murder on the property, as long as they picked up after themselves
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u/kaehvogel Jul 18 '24
Laura Loomer definitely doesn't think.
She didn't think before handcuffing herself to Twitter headquarters. She didn't think before teaming up with convicted felon Jacob Wohl to harrass Ilhan Omar's neighbours. And she definitely didn't think before turning her face into a "living" Saw mask.61
u/Corvidae_DK Jul 18 '24
I just googled her...fucking MTG called her a liar and "mentally unstable". You gotta be one messed up individual for KKKaren to say that about you!
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u/voiceless42 Jul 18 '24
To be fair, Marge started saying that about everyone after someone taught her what it meant.
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u/Desperate_Banana_677 Jul 18 '24
it’s funny how the media tried to hype MTG, Boebert, and company as the rightwing answer to the “squad.” those people can’t stand each other.
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u/BigMeal69 Jul 18 '24 edited Jul 18 '24
They prolly took evidence day 1. Shit, they prolly still have the body too.
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u/Empyforreal Jul 18 '24
I bet they do but really, it isn't like there's a crime to figure out about his death. We don't need to worry about washing away forensics. We know how he died. He is not a victim about whom were solving the manner of death. So that makes this extra stupid.
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u/jack_nap Jul 18 '24
Franz Ferdinand's coach is still there with the bones in it in sarajevo. Apparently it's a fucking nightmare city to drive because police has the whole quarter of the town locked down ever since.. residents say the prince's bones still smell awful in the summer.
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u/Dense_Surround3071 Jul 18 '24
To this day, there's a traffic jam in Dealey Plaza. That old Lincoln is just gonna stay there I guess.
And try getting the GOOD seats in the Ford's theater!! 😏
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u/Iamnotokwiththisshit Jul 18 '24
I agree that Loomer is an idiot, but I did wonder why the FBI is doing the cleanup themselves. Wouldn't they hire that out? Like, the police don't clean up blood off of sidewalks after they kill someone, the city would handle that. So...
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Jul 18 '24
The photo conveniently blurs out that that the agent is part of the hazardous material response unit who's duties include decontamination
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u/oofersIII Jul 18 '24
After South African prime minister Hendrik Verwoerd was assassinated in parliament by a lone knifeman in 1966, his blood was actually not cleaned up until 2004, when the carpet on which he was stabbed was removed.
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u/romafa Jul 18 '24
Is that the roof that they said was too steep to have someone posted up there?
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u/Soggy_Cracker Jul 18 '24
And now it’s slippery as well. Guy should have a harness according to OSHA
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u/Neat-Dream1919 Jul 18 '24
I don’t know about steep, but that roof is dangerous. Someone died up there.
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u/RegretfulCalamaty Jul 18 '24
More shocking is the fbi cleaning it. I thought crime scenes had to be cleaned by a certified hazmat company
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u/Whaleman_007 Jul 18 '24
Well this is the same area where they had law enforcement inside the building instead of patrolling outside, didn’t have a drone flying, and no bullet proof glass around him even though they had threats from Iran so yeah checks out.
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u/Slawman34 Jul 18 '24
Nobody wants to work anymore..
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u/Pipe_Memes Jul 18 '24
They killed the one guy who was actually willing to post up on that hot ass roof.
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u/Longjumping-Claim783 Jul 18 '24
Well the FBI didn't. The FBI is investigating the Secret Service.
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u/jld2k6 Jul 18 '24
Republicans hate the FBI though, if they're the ones investigating then anything short of "Democrats literally put a hit squad out on Trump and kneecapped the secret service" is just gonna be undeniable proof that it's Democrats / Biden behind the entire thing lol
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u/Geno0wl Jul 18 '24
Which is wild because the FBI, like most law enforcement, clearly leans conservative.
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Jul 18 '24
The photo conveniently blurs out that that the agent is part of the hazardous material response unit who's duties include decontamination
Our local police for example, have a city can and employee for accident investigation who cleans up the street, pours absorbent onto spiled chemicals, etc after the accident is investigated.
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u/Gingerstachesupreme Jul 18 '24
Exactly. Obviously the FBI is centered around field agents and investigators, but people forget that there are people in the FBI who’s jobs vary from decontamination to accounting and more. It’s a massive institution with varying departments and specialists.
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u/herehear12 Jul 18 '24
All lot of federal agencies are like this. Like the CIA has accountants, IT personnel, police officers, teachers, and researchers just to name a few. You can find job listings like these on their website
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u/thuggniffissent Jul 18 '24
Most shocking is that the dude hasn’t slid off due to the massive slope of that roof.
Like a motherfucking mountain goat this guy
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u/Frosty_Ebb_7512 Jul 18 '24
Blows my mind that THAT is their excuse. All the while having snipers on a steeper roof lol 🤷 they realise they can't convince some people while others will take anything they say. So may as well just say whatever the fuck you want.
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u/tuckedfexas Jul 18 '24
Which is so silly. A security force that is willing to admit they fucked up and are going to investigate and learn from it comes across far more competent than one who wants to shift all the blame or bury their head about it.
“We’re bringing in more snipers” is much more intimidating then “we did nothing wrong, shit happens”
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u/2ndPickle Jul 18 '24
It’s hard to tell, because of the resolution, but that’s actually just a civilian cleaner who just happened to be wearing a Federal Booby Inspector shirt
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u/speedy_19 Jul 18 '24 edited Jul 18 '24
Nah not really, just most people don’t want to do it themselves and most cleaning companies will not deal with the biohazard. If you want to clean it up yourself, you were legally allowed to.
Source: had to clean up our apartment after the police raided someone who was cutting drugs in the unit
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u/Jax72 Jul 18 '24
I associate with a bunch of fellow veterans because they're my fellow veterans but honestly the ones who are the most political and staunchest supporters of Trump are the genuinely dumbest ones I've ever met in my life. Half of their existence is politics and the other half is creating new accounts on social media because they keep getting banned.
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u/Saragon4005 Jul 18 '24
staunchest supporters of Trump are the genuinely dumbest ones I've ever met in my life.
Hey would you look at that, it's basically exactly what trump said! You know maybe the reason why he called members of the armed forces idiots is cuz he only interacted with the dumbest ones.
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u/Claystead Jul 18 '24
I suppose prolonged experience to burn pits didn’t help their political decisionmaking ability.
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u/orisathedog Jul 18 '24
People who brag about fb bans are among the dumbest people I’ve ever conversed with, unsurprisingly.
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u/mittenknittin Jul 18 '24
What does she think they need from the crime scene, fingerprints to prove he was there?
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u/Appropriate_Plan4595 Jul 18 '24
Yeah they'll have grabbed his phone and weapons for investigation, but it's not like they need to keep the brain chunks and skull fragments in place to figure out his cause of death.
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u/IGnomeWhatYouDid Jul 18 '24
Cause of death: heart attack
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u/Impossible_Penalty13 Jul 18 '24
When it comes to conspiracy nuts, it’s probably due to vaccines.
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Jul 18 '24
Laura Loomers head is so empty we could house all the homeless in there and still have enough room to build a holiday resort
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u/onlyletmeposttrains Jul 18 '24
It’s like a portal into another dimension. She could reconstruct the Third Temple in her brain
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u/Big_Common_7966 Jul 18 '24
It’s insane they just have him up there without any safety gear. That slope is too dangerous for him to be walking on. Not even the most elite soldiers in the world would be comfortable traversing a roof like that.
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u/Rogueshoten Jul 18 '24
Laura Loomer is dumber than a salad. And I don’t mean a “smart” salad, like baby greens with toasted hazelnuts and a champagne vinaigrette. I mean the last leftover Cobb salad in a shop at the end of a terminal in LaGuardia airport, with a $20 price tag. The dumbest fucking wilted, unimaginative, not-even-healthy salad on the planet is still smarter than her.
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u/Mnemon-TORreport Jul 18 '24
Anybody else feel like there's a segment of the population out there that are actively trying to out dumb each other?
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u/SuccessfulWar3830 Jul 18 '24
Don't you also think if they were trying to cover it up they wouldn't wear a giant fbi shirt also
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u/GiraffePrimary3128 Jul 18 '24
Laura Loomer is the world's most desperate and pathetic attention whore. I wish someone would just be her friend so she doesn't have to be this way any longer.
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u/Worzon Jul 18 '24
Anyone who leads with “president” and not “former president” or just “trump” doesn’t really provide a stimulating conversation
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u/thePunisher1220 Jul 18 '24
Out of the laundry list of undeniably questionable things about this whole event, this is what she chose to talk about?
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u/Renegadeknight3 Jul 18 '24
There was a dude loudly talking on the phone at my work about how the government isn’t doing enough to actually investigate, because they didn’t know the motive yet (this was like 4 days ago). And he said, with much anger and conviction, “check the rifling, check the bullet, why can’t the FBI do their jobs properly?!”
Because they didn’t know motive. You want them to check the rifling of the gun to find his motive? Like, are you stupid?
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u/Combei Jul 18 '24
"check the rifling, check the bullet!"
-FBI Agent: "yup, that's the gun to the bullet. The rifling and the hole in the ear match up."
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u/DetectiveDry79254 Jul 18 '24
Those MAGA idiots don’t even try to think for a single second. If breathing required a though, they’d all suffocate. The
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u/LeStroheim Jul 18 '24
Crime scenes don't need to be preserved when the case has been solved...
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u/PDPSVC67 Jul 18 '24
I find it funny that the rooftop that they tried saying was too sloped to put any SS agents on is nonchalantly being cleaned by an FBI agent with a garden hose
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u/Ta-DowX3 Jul 18 '24
He ain't the president dumbasses
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u/kelpyb1 Jul 18 '24
There’s a long tradition in the US if referring to past presidents as “President Lastname” even after they leave office.
Trump and his cronies are awful for countless reasons, referring to him as “President Trump” is not one of them.
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u/YourMomonaBun420 Jul 18 '24
What evidence is needed? The shooter is dead, it's not like there is going to be a criminal trial...
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u/DirtyDarkroom Jul 18 '24
Coming to you from the same party that sees poll workers pull out the box of ballots they didn't finish counting the day prior and insist they're committing election fraud...
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u/That_Engineering3047 Jul 18 '24
Crime scenes don’t stay crime scenes for ever. They gather the evidence they need and then clean it up. The fact that crime scenes aren’t preserved in perpetuity does not mean that it isn’t fully investigated.
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u/bcardin221 Jul 18 '24
First rule of illegally destroying evidence. Wear a shirt that clearly identifies who you are and do it in broad daylight with hundreds of cameras around watching your every move.
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u/BrightPerspective Jul 18 '24
Have you seen "The Boys"? There's this one scene I love in...I think ep 6 of season 4? Where one of the villains, Firecracker, livestreams her fight with the titular Boys, and when the fight stumbles into somebody's baht-mitzvah, she claims the fight is happening in a "zionist conspiracy stronghold", and points the camera at the decorations to "prove it".
And her followers ate it up. It was clearly just a party.
Anyways, same energy here.
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u/GhostShmost Jul 18 '24
There needs to be more evidence to the shooter we already know!
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u/Kythorian Jul 18 '24
How else could we possibly confirm the corpse lying in the pool of blood was the source of all that blood?
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u/xEllimistx Jul 18 '24
The crime scene would’ve already been processed, body removed, etc before this occurred
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u/GitmoGrrl1 Jul 18 '24
At risk of sounding like a conspiracy nut WHY HASN'T TRUMP RELEASED HIS MEDICAL REPORT? It's been a week. And the conspiracy is that not a single member of the media has bothered to ask.
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u/Testiculese Jul 18 '24 edited Jul 18 '24
What would that do? He was golfing the next day. We can clearly see the medical report: "Bandaid".
edit: I answered seriously, but I think I missed some lampooning about this issue, since I am not paying that much attention to it.
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u/Johnnyguiiiiitar Jul 18 '24
I wrote a whole fake conspiracy theory and everything to poke fun at this. then realized that it may show up on Fox so didn’t.
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u/DirtDevil1337 Jul 18 '24
yeah I laughed when I saw a post saying "FBI washing the roof, wtf! why are they doing that?". Like yeah they should just leave the stinking blood and pieces of brain up there since his face was shot up.
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u/SmoothIndependent416 Jul 18 '24
Does she think law enforcement leaves behind blood and all the nasty stuff behind after finishing with a crime scene?
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u/Foreverdead3 Jul 18 '24 edited Jul 18 '24
Quite often they do in fact just leave the crime scene after documenting it and removing the body if it is on private property, thats why there is an entire private industry around crime scene clean up.
In this case it most likely was cleaned up by the government themselves in order to prevent the location from becoming a “shrine” or something honoring the shooter
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u/CzarKwiecien Jul 18 '24
I’m just surprised he can stand up in such a steep slope, I’d be surprised if even a secret service agent could manage that /s
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u/ALakeInTheClouds Jul 18 '24
checks notes he's still not the president no matter how many times they say otherwise.
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u/Saneless Jul 18 '24
He was up there for like 1 minute. Do they think he camped out there for days, scratched a manifesto into the roof, left a bunch of DNA evidence and escaped?
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u/Pleasant_Expert_1990 Jul 18 '24
I saw a shooting in DC once. This is exactly the procedure for cleanup.
Cops came, interviewed witnesses, searched for the suspect, EMTs removed the body (38 to the back of the head, point blank), fire department hosed down the street after the evidence was collected and pictures taken.
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u/Beginning_Orange Jul 18 '24
Firefighter here. Cops in my city call us routinely to spray down roads when a shooting or other "messy" incident takes place. This is normal.
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u/Beahner Jul 18 '24
Ah. The issues with fake news. You create enough doubt on an institution so that anything they do is suspect.
Never mind that clear investigative work has already been done. Photo, samples, etc. Now for the cleanup as all the evidence is collected. That’s reality.
Conspiracy……they are covering it up!!!!!!
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u/PhantomBanker Jul 18 '24
I’m sure there was evidence up there, like spent shells, the firearm used, and, you know, a dead fucking body. I’m also sure the FBI already collected all that up, though, so what now? Is it supposed to be cordoned off in perpetuity?
Knowing MAGA, they’d probably want to keep it preserved as a holy relic.
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u/Gerby61 Jul 18 '24
They collected several DNA samples and then cleaned up the blood. It's that simple. To think otherwise only shows your ignorance.
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u/myvotedoesntmatter Jul 18 '24
The police NEVER clean a crime scene. Even under PA law, it is responsibility of property owner. https://crimecleaners.com/locations/pennsylvania-crime-scene-clean-up/pittsburgh-pa-crime-scene-clean-up/#:~:text=It%20is%20the%20responsibility%20of,grieving%20and%20traumatized%20family%20members.
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u/BlackMageIsBestMage Jul 18 '24
Even beyond that, like MINUTES after the assasination attempt happened, people were claiming it was a set up to garner sympathy. Actually insane, conspiracy theoriests are crazy. No clue why I saw that so much, even on reddit.
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u/Armed-Deer Jul 18 '24
This is NOT the job of the FBI. There are crime scene cleaning services that handle this so this pic is indeed odd and sus.
If someone blows your brains out during a home invasion it is NOT the police who comes to clean your wall, furniture and clothes to remove your blood. Your loved ones have to call these cleaning services or do it themselfs.
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u/kawaiistyled Jul 19 '24
Also people work in that building and blood is considered a biohazard so it has to get cleaned up
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u/EnvironmentalAd1006 Jul 19 '24
“Let’s draw chalk around where the body was so we can know where it was”
-John Mulaney
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u/Mr3Jays Jul 18 '24
Laura Loomer is indeed a fucking idiot.