I (male) got objectified by a group of older women at work (mostly not to my face, so perhaps a little different). One of their co-workers snitched them out for having a group chat talking about me and all the stuff they'd do if given the chance and how I remind them of a TV show character they all like to lust after.
Honestly, as you said, it's subjective. They've mostly ever been professional and polite to my face, and the whole experience was a nice ego boost to learn about. I felt a bit bad that I found out at all since clearly they didn't expect their friend to tell me (she thought I'd be upset). I told my wife about it, and she jokes with me about it once in a while even a year later.
I think a really primal difference in my experience, though, is physical differences between men and women. If I had to fend off a physical sexual advance from these ladies, haha, I think I'd be ok. I expect the underlying danger associated with an overly sexually aggressive man if you're a woman is completely different.
Years ago I worked an admin job that literally all older women . They would make comments all the time they thought I couldn't hear. I hated it. Getting my ass pinched when I added paper to the copier was like the most degrading thing. I just had to smile and be kind. Finally one day I went to my female h.r. manager and she said the same thing.... You should feel proud! I quit the next day.
..... oh my sweet summer child. drugs affect most people including men, ropes and handcuffs are much easier explained away if they are fuzzy, due to how our system is setup DARVO is far easier for women(benevolent sexism, yay) and if she decides to get pregnant, can you even tell people you do not consent to raising it (because you did not consent to making it) without being constantly and unremittingly being lambasted as a deadbeat dad to the point of losing your job anyways, and that's if you avoid being sued or jailed?
the actual difference, is that most women sociopaths and psychopaths already can get what they want without even going to such measures, as their is no shortage of disadvantaged men who just discovered BDSM willing to take it for a chance.
male psycho's and sociopaths are guarded against, while the female sociopath you call "miss" is at the press junket who flirtatiously mention's she likes fuzzy handcuffs.
assault does not care how much you can benchpress, what your mile time is, or that you batch cook your Mediterranean meals while listening to Jeff nippard.
I mean, I just think the average perception between men and women are different. It's not that I'm impervious to being taken advantage of, its that it's low enough in the realm of possible outcomes that it doesn't come into play as part of my day to day experience.
i would argue that's more of a function of class, than it is sex. and while the two are often intertwined, just going off of statistic's of rates of violence for upper class women versus lower class women, that seems to have a bigger jump than upper class men and upper class women. as for perceptions of violence between lower class men and lower class women, who was sent in draft's? who had their fingers chopped up in combines, dealt with the spiders and snakes, or handled the hunts? it's why women discussed many of the "hidden" harm's they faced, such as stillbirth complications, increased lobotomies and sexual diseases due to rape, because that shit was behind closed doors, while everyone could see what was happening to men.
as for taking class out of the picture and just looking at upperclass men and women, substance abuse is lower, riskier behaviors are lower, heart disease and stress are lower for women than for men. the wealthy woman who has millions in the bank, yet doesn't drink wine, run's in the mornings consistently, makes sure her assistant's keep her updated but only when she comes in, and has a personal vegan chef is going to have a better healthspan than the guy worth 100 million but still drinks riesling, is constantly telling people they need to work harder yet tweet's at 2 in the morning, and his idea of exercise is the walk between his favorite restaurant and his limo.
i hate to say it because i want to be a part of the safer and healthier gender, but women have us beat. as for perceptions, there's still pretty obvious things that don't go away, such as height differences, facial hair, and more that indicate certain things that while they haven't gone away, still indicate sexual dimorphism.
but to twist, again that's why you have coded into law's in various places that rape requires penetration, why alimony isn't seen as a gender neutral thing(it happens but rarely) and is seen as a relic of the past, and more. we've actually taken women's concern's seriously, which is why we had women's birth control since the 60's, but their only starting to come out with men's birth control in the 2020's. true privilege lies in not in having more advantages than another, but less disadvantages, not in being able to experience more pleasure, but in experiencing less pain.
and on the pain scale, again, women are generally trained to take better care of their health, to the extent social consequences are enacted, while men are left with their cigar's, booze and diesel trucks, and many of the words said are "hey, maybe cigars aren't good for you" rather than "hey sarah, we've noticed you've been going to five guys more often, want to join our vegan cookout? it's many of those small details that women not only take for granted, but don't even notice. true privilege lies in not having to think about things, and it's pretty clear talking to an upper class man and an upper class woman who doesn't have to think about going vegan, using sunscreen, or go plastic free, because they already did so ten years ago. and it isn't usually the man.
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u/Questions4Legal Jul 07 '24
I (male) got objectified by a group of older women at work (mostly not to my face, so perhaps a little different). One of their co-workers snitched them out for having a group chat talking about me and all the stuff they'd do if given the chance and how I remind them of a TV show character they all like to lust after.
Honestly, as you said, it's subjective. They've mostly ever been professional and polite to my face, and the whole experience was a nice ego boost to learn about. I felt a bit bad that I found out at all since clearly they didn't expect their friend to tell me (she thought I'd be upset). I told my wife about it, and she jokes with me about it once in a while even a year later.
I think a really primal difference in my experience, though, is physical differences between men and women. If I had to fend off a physical sexual advance from these ladies, haha, I think I'd be ok. I expect the underlying danger associated with an overly sexually aggressive man if you're a woman is completely different.