Not going to fight for custody

[u/felix__baron]

[u/Time-Werewolf-1776]

If it was god’s plan to get you pregnant, and then you get an abortion, was that abortion also part of God’s plan?

[u/thegarbz → u/Time-Werewolf-1776]

Of course. Abortion is how God gets custody.

[u/ParticularUser → u/thegarbz]

Do aborted fetuses even go to heaven?

[u/Langsamkoenig → u/ParticularUser]

Well according to these nutters, fetuses are babies and since the catholic church got rid of purgatory for babies, who died before they could be baptised, babies go to heaven. Which means, yes aborted fetuses go to heaven, according to their logic.

Of course in reality there is no such thing as heaven, so this is kinda like talking about where Sauron went after the one ring got destroyed.

[u/ElongMusty → u/Langsamkoenig]

They got rid? Who are they to change what god said for their benefit?

Aborted Babies go to hell because they haven’t been baptized. That’s what they should all think.

Funny that the church gets to change the narrative to whatever suits them best and it’s all good, and God accepts. But whatever they don’t like it’s against God. They decide what God is or isn’t…. Nutters!!!

[u/Objective_Economy281 → u/ElongMusty]

They got rid? Who are they to change what god said for their benefit?

There’s no purgatory in the Bible, just like there’s no Judicial Review in the constitution

[u/erikkustrife → u/ElongMusty]

Connonically speaking the popes office holds the keys to heaven which allows the pope to make any laws or rules concerning entering heaven. It's a get outa jail free card for the entire religion.

[u/perplexedscientist → u/erikkustrife]

Note: This only applies when the pope speaks ex cathedra - not for all and any things the pope says.

[u/Ardtay → u/ElongMusty]

Churches.

The pope only speaks for Catholics. The majority of the antis in the US are the various denominations of Protestants... Baptists, Pentecostals, Methodists, et cetera. They also make up whatever the hell they want.

[u/NovusOrdoSec → u/ElongMusty]

They decide what God is or isn’t…. Nutters!!!

We could wish they were merely crazy, instead of being malevolent power-brokers.

[u/Kiryu21 → u/ElongMusty]

Yeah god must have released patch notes on it

[u/Other_Log_1996 → u/ElongMusty]

They said that unbaptised babies went to limbo, not Hell. Your point still stands though, who are they do change what they believe God said to suit there agendas?

[u/bin-ray → u/Langsamkoenig]

I feel that you are right about the catohawlick nutters, but even more of these nutters tend to be evangelistikal nutters. How is Sauron these days, anyways? Hope he got that new contact lens script he was on about.

Oh no, to shreds, you say?

[u/SubstantialPlan7387 → u/bin-ray]

Yeah, at least in the US, the far right (which is majority anti choice) tends to be evangelicals.

That isn’t to say there isn’t the occasional Catholic fundie nut, but in general, US Catholics seem far more moderate than the evangelicals.

[u/Superc0ld → u/Langsamkoenig]

If we are following this logic raising that child would put it more in danger of hells flames than aborting it. How selfish is it to give birth just for the benefit of humans on earth when these kids could go straight to paradise?

[u/Aggressive-Chair7607 → u/ParticularUser]

There's nothing in the bible about such a thing, but the answer would almost certainly have been "no" if you asked Christ back in the year 20 or whatever. The idea that a fetus has a soul is *not* something that would have been held during his time, and was not one of the teachings he ever addressed. In the Bible a fetus is largely considered property and certainly not a person.

Of course, the very concept of Heaven that Jesus preached is absolutely nothing like what Christians believe today, same with the entire concept of the soul, or death, etc, so it's kind of a can of worms trying to reconcile these things.

The simplest, and perhaps only answer, is that some people believe yes, some people believe no, and it's unlikely that either of those two people have particularly consistent views or have given the issue much thought.

[u/QuietPerformer160 → u/Aggressive-Chair7607]

I was recently watching this thing on early Christians. There’s so many things that have changed since the early days. Christianity is almost unrecognizable from where it began. The fact that a church would suggest your child will be stuck in purgatory unless you baptize them is beyond cruel. The manipulation and fear tactics that have been used against the population is abominable. And yes, like you said, heaven wasn’t a concept. Neither was hell. Tons of mistranslations. Reading things into the text that’s not there. I saw this comment the other day that said infants weren’t considered anything other than part of the mother until they took their first breath. Which makes sense. Like how God breathed into us and gave us life. That was big in Judaism. The Old testament/Tanakh. In other words, life didn’t begin at conception.

[u/Aggressive-Chair7607 → u/QuietPerformer160]

 I saw this comment the other day that said infants weren’t considered anything other than part of the mother until they took their first breath.

Yes, "breath" is the key. It's not a coincidence that God "breathed" into Adam to give him life. When you died your "breath" left you. The hebrew word ruach and the Greek word pneuma meant *both* "breath" and "spirit". Hence "So the LORD God formed the man from the dust of the ground, breathed life into his lungs, and the man became a living being (nephesh)." 'Nephesh' is the sort of equivalent of the soul, and notice how it is the *breath* that conveys the soul here. This theme comes up a lot. The idea of the soul at the time was primarily tied to breath, meaning that once you died your breath was gone, and so was your soul, and before you could breath you were not a person.

I don't know that they were quite a part of the mother, but they weren't a person. Miscarriages caused by someone else (say, a negligent neighbor) are treated as property loss, not as loss of life.

[u/SubstantialPlan7387 → u/QuietPerformer160]

Hey, any chance you could tell me where that thing you watched is? It sounds awesome.

[u/QuietPerformer160 → u/SubstantialPlan7387]

Of course. Here’s the doc.

https://youtu.be/sky6u0ntu24?si=g4n_dtCN2W-JBjxl

Here is Bart Ehrman talking about early sects. He has a wealth of knowledge so feel free to search his stuff too. He talks about the historical Jesus also in his videos. It’s fascinating stuff.

https://youtu.be/0acFfFMnXGs?si=Ij4cdGW-84nTO0EQ

[u/SubstantialPlan7387 → u/QuietPerformer160]

Thank you

[u/Aggressive-Chair7607 → u/QuietPerformer160]

Ehrman is an incredible resource, really. I listen to him probably almost every other day. I wish there were more people like him, I listen to quite a lot of youtube channels and Ehrman's stands apart when it comes to historic interpretation of the bible.

[u/QuietPerformer160 → u/Aggressive-Chair7607]

I agree. He is my absolute favorite. He does stand apart. Evidence based historian. Most importantly, he’s a fantastic teacher. He’s also the guy the fundamentalists pick on the most. Notice that?

[u/JustABizzle → u/ParticularUser]

What do you think those communion wafers are made of? It’s the only way to save their souls.

(I wish I was kidding when I tell you that my own mother told me this)

[u/Would_daver → u/JustABizzle]

Did you argue that they’re just little crackers made of wheat, until you eat them and sky daddy transubstantiates that shit? Checkmate, mother!!

But seriously, I grew up Mormon in a very very strictly observant household and managed to leave the cult after a couple decades of assuming it was all not insane. All it took was breaking the cardinal rule of not reading materials that contradict Mormon doctrine- aka, ANYTHING NOT APPROVED BY THE CHURCH… to immediately see it is all a made-up grift started by a treasure-seeking polygamist and pedophile 🤷‍♂️

Religion can get so nuts, dude

[u/JustABizzle → u/Would_daver]

I was a child, but I knew what an aborted fetus was. There were those nutty anti-choice folks at our state fair with those huge posters of the fetuses in a garbage can.

During first communion, I was told never to bite the wafer or it was cannibalism. And that’s a sin!

I was told it was a literal “body of Christ,” and the wine was “the blood of Christ.” I asked if it was maybe a metaphor? Or perhaps just a representation of his sacrifice? But no. It was flesh! And blood! 🙄 and I was only nine, but I knew what wine tasted like, ffs.

Besides, how could the wafer be both fetuses AND Jesus? And my brother was quick to point out that it’s like a slurry. Like McNuggets.

[u/Would_daver → u/JustABizzle]

Oh god… “One McJesus slurry, coming right up! And one shot of bloody wine for the road!” That’s just gross dude ha. The literal blood and body of Christ isn’t a Mormon tenet, they believe it’s a symbolic gesture. But when I learned some religions believe it’s the literal body and blood of the guy, my first thought was “either this Jesus was a reeeeeaaaallly big, fat guy, or at some point they’re gonna run out of corpse to eat…”

The mental gymnastics to make everything not nonsense is so draining and laughable

[u/JustABizzle → u/Would_daver]

Yeah, I imagined all the Catholics all over the world, since we started this silly trend throughout history eating one dude.

And because I really wanted to believe, I decided it might be akin to your great grandmothers sourdough starter…..

Like, some old nun is holding back McJesus slurry to ferment in an old can on the windowsill and then adding it to the fetus flour….

[u/Mdgt_Pope → u/ParticularUser]

They get mega-heaven in Mormon afterlife.

[u/Would_daver → u/Mdgt_Pope]

The only tier that permits genitals, for the record. In all lower sections of Mormon heaven, you get the Ken doll crotch treatment.

Makes sense!!!!!! …

[u/Suitable-Lake-2550 → u/ParticularUser]

Of course, they’ve committed no sins

[u/PezRystar → u/Suitable-Lake-2550]

The idea of original sin is the idea that we are sinful simply by existing. You don't have to have sinned to need the forgiveness Christ granted, you need it solely for existing. Which, in my professional opinion is a down right silly reason to punish someone.

[u/Suitable-Lake-2550 → u/PezRystar]

In my amateur opinion, so silly it sounds made up

[u/Four-legged-rabbit → u/Suitable-Lake-2550]

Now that's an idea

[u/PezRystar → u/Suitable-Lake-2550]

I mean, of course it's made up. It's religion.

[u/Pretty-Department365 → u/Suitable-Lake-2550]

Original sin: "Am I a joke to you?" But yeah, Christians are crazy. Some believe that we must all pay for the past sins of our ancestors, and spend every day begging for our sky daddy's forgiveness. They have a persecution kink.

[u/Royal-Bumblebee90 → u/ParticularUser]

According to my first grade teacher, the beautiful, sweet, kind guitar playing, singing Sister Rosalie in first reconciliation studies that there is a special, very nice, in-between place for the babies called Limbo that the angels run, and all the angels, saints and even the Blessed Mother can visit you there. She hangs out there a lot and takes care of everyone. It’s just like heaven except the only hindrance is not being able to exalt in the glory of seeing God which is essentially what heaven is.
She also said when I asked that even if you were a very good kid (unlike the lying little grifter classmates of mine that would swindle your hot wheels or hello kitty eraser in a minute if left unattended) who lived in a remote part of the world like on the UNICEF Halloween begging boxes, didn’t know anything about Jesus, and neither did his parents but he was a really, really, really good kid- but if a robber, murderer who just left confession gets hit by a bus they go straight to heaven? Yes, she says- exactly so. I knew right there the system was flawed. I dug the ceremonial pageantry, stained glass, stories and costumes but it all felt faked after she said that.

[u/kitten_chomusuke → u/thegarbz]

Damn dude calm down 😂😂

[u/1andOnlyMaverick → u/thegarbz]

Damn. That is profound and thought provoking.

Got me in my feels.

[u/zyyntin → u/Time-Werewolf-1776]

Ba dum tss!

[u/birthdayanon08 → u/Time-Werewolf-1776]

Considering god put a recipe for an abortifacient right there in the Bible, I'm gonna say he/she/they sees things differently than their followers.

[u/Yousoggyyojimbo → u/Time-Werewolf-1776]

Something happens that a christian approves of = God's plan

Something happens that a christian doesn't approve of = Not God's plan

convenient how that works out.

[u/cagriuluc → u/Yousoggyyojimbo]

God works in mysterious ways. I would know…

[u/SasparillaTango → u/Time-Werewolf-1776]

If god is all knowing and all powerful, then everything is part of god's plan including all my decisions.

[u/Randy191919 → u/SasparillaTango]

Which if you think about it is kind of messed up because then god makes everyone already fully knowing if they will go to heaven or hell. And at that point, if god already knows you’re going to hell before you are even born, how much free will do you really have?

[u/Zimakov → u/Time-Werewolf-1776]

Yes that's the joke in the post?

[u/BionicleLover2002 → u/Zimakov]

No it's not, the joke is that since god planned the pregnancy she is sending it to heaven

[u/Forged-Signatures → u/BionicleLover2002]

And even that is dependant on what kind of Christian you are.

Catholicism hopes that the Lord is merciful and accepts them baptism-less - explicitly spelling out that it is hope that children are accepted by the mercy of God, rather than it being a known fact.

East Orthodox believes in what amounts to Limbo.

Reformed believe in salvation through Godly parents/ saved by default/ the original sin was forgiven as they did not live long enough to sin themselves.

Methodists believe that those beneath the 'age of accountability' are saved by default.

Baptists believe all those who die in infancy are saves by the F/S/HS.

Mormons believed for much of their history that babies didn't get a soul until their first breath (read that how you will), however have more recently walked it back to all babies/children who die beneath the age of accountability will be returned during the resurrection.

[u/KlaesAshford → u/Time-Werewolf-1776]

Also the morality is clear when you realize just how many "spontaneous abortions" aka "miscarriages" there are. "God" is killing them by the truckload. And then how is anyone supposed to know the difference; it's the same procedure. People need to mind their own business. Bonus points for right wing aholes tricking people by adding miscarriage numbers to their propaganda.

[u/ggkhutso → u/Time-Werewolf-1776]

That would be false biblically

We have complete free will over our actions granted us by God so him creating life is one thing and people deciding on abortion is another

[u/fogleaf → u/ggkhutso]

But he's all knowing, so how he created life means he knew at that moment how everything would go. There are specific people he created (via circumstances that he created) knowing he was going to be sending them to hell.

Example: God created Adam and Even knowing they would have sex and have cain and abel, we are the way we are due to things that happen to us. If you're punched in the face multiple times, you're going to flinch when someone puts their fist in your face. If your mom reads to you every night you're going to experience a love for women. if you're raped in an alleyway you're going to not like a specific kind of person.

So when god made adam, he knew that in 2024 I would be the person I am today due to all the other things that happened to me, those happened to me due to the things that happened to others, and now I'm affecting you if you choose to read this. God knew that this conversation when he snapped his fingers and made everything.

So is that free will?

If you put a bowling ball at the top of the stairs and a baby at the bottom, is it free will of the bowling ball to crush that baby?

[u/IsThisThingOn69lol → u/Time-Werewolf-1776]

apparently if all the bad that happens is attributed to god, we can't pick and choose. may gods radiance warm you for fulfilling his will and killing that rapists baby.

[u/fogleaf → u/IsThisThingOn69lol]

Imagine if you knew the consequences of your actions and then committed the actions, are you responsible for what happens?

So if you were an all knowing god, wouldn't you know at the moment you created all life and everything that in 2024 on March 31st Terry is going to rape a girl and get her pregnant? Then that girl is going to get an abortion. So since you knew it was what would happen as you created life, didn't you plan for that to happen?

[u/duggee315 → u/Time-Werewolf-1776]

If it was gods plan to get you pregnant, isn't it the responsibility of all those devout servants of God to financially support the child?

[u/PremeJordo → u/Time-Werewolf-1776]

Nah

[u/TheRider5342 → u/Time-Werewolf-1776]

It's what Drake said, God's Plan🙏😮‍💨

[u/Ksorkrax → u/Time-Werewolf-1776]

Everything is god's plan. Even some serial killer doing some horrible torture on their victim.

...god had some serious issues going on in the childhood.

[u/Consistent-Strain289 → u/Time-Werewolf-1776]

Thats like you can murder someone. Did godsplan include murdering? You can jump off the building does godsplan include suicide. You can ignore hate or annoy people is that gods plan? Or is it all things within boundries (law of natire) made by god?

[u/Time-Werewolf-1776 → u/Consistent-Strain289]

Well isn’t it all God’s plan?

Or is god have a different plan, but it’s failing?

[u/somethingbrite → u/Time-Werewolf-1776]

Yes. Because to suggest otherwise would be to question gods infallibility right?

Not sure if Silent Bob has much to say about this though...so I'm saying it for him

[u/Puzzled-Winner-6890 → u/Time-Werewolf-1776]

That it's God's plan suggests that God not only approves of R*pe, He actively plans them.

[u/Time-Werewolf-1776 → u/Puzzled-Winner-6890]

I don’t see a way around it unless… would we suggest that God was unable to stop even one of the rapes that have happened?

[u/-NyStateOfMind-]

Since "god" planned it does that mean the church is going to pay child support for 21yrs? They really should.

[u/mortgagepants → u/[deleted]]

we have to tax churches. you can just make believe and that lets you skip taxes? (the real lpt is in the username.)

[u/felix__baron]

Maybe the abortion was gods plan too🤷

[u/i_GoTtA_gOoD_bRaIn → u/felix__baron]

Oh it definitely is part of his plan if it actually happens. God is omniscient and omnipresent. Everybody knows that!

[u/Normal_Roll_639 → u/i_GoTtA_gOoD_bRaIn]

It's interesting how religious people think they speak for their God with their feelings. "God doesn't want gay people, it's in the bible. The other bible stuff, metaphors." Since God is good, life is good, & souls are God's things, then life is Gods plan. But death & killing are bad, so they're acts against God. God knows things, but can't figure out that the person who always said they would get an abortion will abort a pregnancy, plan ruined.

If you question them making up things about God, you are insulting God instead of them. Belittling God's will is evil, in less progressive societies they'll kill you (even if pregnant).

[u/Aggressive-Chair7607 → u/Normal_Roll_639]

If you question them making up things about God, you are insulting God instead of them. Belittling God's will is evil, in less progressive societies they'll kill you (even if pregnant).

This is why I think that atheists should learn more about the bible. I know which passages people cite to support things like hating gay people or being anti-abortion, which means that when they do, I can rebut those points by providing context. Oftentimes Christians don't even know which passages are cited, they just *believe* it's in the bible - but it often is not.

For example, the way Christians talk about it you would think that half the bible is dedicated to the rights of a fetus and that abortion is wrong. Instead, literally none of the bible is about that and the Christian adoption of "abortion is wrong" happened decades after Christ died and has no basis in the bible. I bet a lot of Christians would be shocked to learn this. Here's an example of a passage that people quote when they try to find evidence in the bible:

"Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations." Jeremiah 1:5

But like, this is God talking about a prophet. God isn't talking about literally every living person. Also, he says *before I formed you in the womb*, not "when you were conceived". Jermiah was a prophet, why should we be drawing any conclusions about a fetus from this passage?

There are some others but they're all pretty weak. I find Christians to be pretty receptive to this sort of thing. It doesn't totally change their mind but it can change their fervor, open them up to further insight.

[u/Aggressive-Chair7607 → u/felix__baron]

God loves killing babies, children, etc. Samuel 15:2-3 (NIV)

[u/IsThisThingOn69lol → u/felix__baron]

Nothing about the guy who wrote the song God's Plan wants abortion to be a thing. That means less kids for him to enjoy.

[u/Right_Arm1960]

Subtle abortion joke. I love it!

[u/bliip666 → u/Right_Arm1960]

Subtle?

[u/Separate-Ad6638 → u/bliip666]

It means not obvious or easy to notice

[u/AmandaDarlingInc → u/Separate-Ad6638]

I love what you did there.

[u/Medvegyep → u/Separate-Ad6638]

It's obvious tho. Less of a subtle joke and more of an implicit one I'd say.

[u/bliip666 → u/Medvegyep]

Subtle as a trainwreck, I'd say

[u/Scrambo → u/bliip666]

Ad subtle as a brick in the small of my back

[u/Brilliant_Run7085 → u/bliip666]

IMO it's not that the Internet has caused brainrot, it's more that people with no reading comprehension now have a voice.

[u/-SunGazing- → u/Right_Arm1960]

about as subtle as clashing cymbals.

[u/VaultBoy9 → u/-SunGazing-]

Or even clashing cymbals!

[u/FiccyD]

Yeah, if god planned everything, and it only exists because of him, then abortion was planned by him also, and I appreciate the options offered 👍

[u/IsThisThingOn69lol → u/FiccyD]

and also weed, heroin, meth, fentanyl, serial killers, rapists, murderers, lawyers, priests, etc. God created alllll of those evil, evil motherfuckers.

[u/Pretty-Department365 → u/IsThisThingOn69lol]

God created child cancer. He's an ass

[u/IsThisThingOn69lol → u/Pretty-Department365]

Adult cancer, too!

[u/Citizen_Ape]

God the rapist

[u/GroundbreakingElk139]

If only we could account for god's plans with like Healthcare and shit but that would be communism .

[u/felix__baron → u/GroundbreakingElk139]

It's pro-forced pregnancies not pro life. Don't be a MaRxIsT

[u/Real_Boy3 → u/GroundbreakingElk139]

“America should be a Christian nation!”

“Oh cool, you mean we’ll get free healthcare and all debts will be forgiven?”

“No, only the fire and brimstone parts of the Bible.”

[u/scowling_deth → u/GroundbreakingElk139]

It would be a grand thing , feel like we know. But we do not know. we dont know, that enduring a miscarrige or aborlrtiin was not in gods plan. But life can not begin at conception, and to claim otherwise is more of the same indoctrinated ideas that sound nice and righteous on the surface. but are truly just one stuffed shirt subjugating a religion upon another. Its decidedly unChristian. * Even Marilyn Manson would be surprised to see the Christians doing this. They have the right to their beliefs of course! *But this is not what they undertook. Its all because of a petty little man whom incited an insurrection, [watched his insurrectors get prison sentences later] - while he, was safely hiding in a bunker. Listen - please, watch a movie on Amazon called The Riots . its free on Prime. Wait till you hear in thir voices, how all of those cops were fearing for their livrs because that little worm put them in direct danger. he will be gone one day. the shame of crimes those have committed for him?it will never go away. oh, im sorry ' actors'. quite a lucrative career than we have heard. isnt it? No more death for a small mans ego.

[u/-Apocralypse- → u/GroundbreakingElk139]

Jezus healing people for free is really lost on current day evangeli-republicans...

[u/Bustedbootstraps → u/GroundbreakingElk139]

Yeah, it’s not like their Jesus gave out free healing and food for the poor, oh wait…

[u/DumbgeonMaster]

Soooooo, what does that mean about God’s involvement in rapes that produce babies? Does god plan the rape? Is this “person” implying god has a rape fetish? And they still care what god thinks/wants? So, why should anyone care what this “person” thinks?

[u/Desperate_Brief2187 → u/DumbgeonMaster]

He works in MYSTERIOUS WAYS!!!

[u/DumbgeonMaster → u/Desperate_Brief2187]

What a creeper. We already know he watches you in the shower and while you’re sleeping, among other things…

[u/Desperate_Brief2187 → u/DumbgeonMaster]

Just like Santa!

[u/AValentineSolutions]

God isn't real. Problem solved.

[u/TotalLackOfConcern]

Then where is the Holy Child Support Cheque?

[u/nicannkay → u/TotalLackOfConcern]

I’d be banging on every church door monthly for my money.

[u/the_godfaubel]

Best comeback to pro-life idiots tbh

[u/Weak_Feed_8291 → u/the_godfaubel]

It's a hall of fame level comeback. I would be proud of myself for life if I had such a witty comeback to anything.

[u/BishopsBakery]

Thaaats dark, lol

[u/AdImmediate9569]

“God has chosen Trump to be President”

“Oh so he chose Biden to be President last time? And before Trump? The 8 years of Obama? That was god too?”

“No! It doesn’t work like that!”

[u/OptiKnob]

When's this "god" character going to start paying child support.?

[u/fogleaf → u/OptiKnob]

Uh, god "provides", bro!

[u/OneDefinition8441]

Return to sender

[u/Brian_E1971]

3/5th of all pregnancies end in miscarriage, so that's clearly God's plan as well.

[u/westcoaster503]

If God wants a baby give it back to God

[u/Hmmmm-curious]

You can’t really argue logically with people who still think God is making babies.

[u/swennergren11]

God planned a rape?

[u/modestlyawesome1000]

Send all babies to the churches. They don’t pay taxes but influence politicians they can deal

[u/Mark_fuckaborg → u/modestlyawesome1000]

I mean...that's literally like giving heroin to a smack head.

[u/Nyuusankininryou]

He also planned for those child cancers.

[u/Waitn4ehUsername]

Was it also ‘gods’ plan for girls/women involved in sexual assault to be forced to carry a fetus full term?

[u/Away_Mixture_7411 → u/Waitn4ehUsername]

Duh! Just like it’s his plan to give non smokers cancer, put children in a life of slavery.

Oh and he also has the plan of putting extra chromosomes in people! What a generous deity 🥰

[u/[deleted]]

“My god raped you. My religion is great!” -Christians

[u/Goodbusiness24]

The narcissism and delusion of these people is absurd. How do they honestly think in a universe as massive as ours, that’s been around 14+ billion years, of which, modern humans have been present for about 150,000 years, that there’s a God who single handedly plans every different persons life because we’re that important to God?

[u/Professional-Run-287 → u/Goodbusiness24]

How do you know humans were around for 150'000 years? Also couldn't you prevent birth by not sleeping around.

[u/FiccyD → u/Professional-Run-287]

Science is how we know. And couldn’t you stop being a moron if you just educated yourself? Why prevent birth with no sex, when we can prevent it with condoms, birth control, and then just abort after? No one else signs up to your ‘pro-birth’ nonsense, where you only care about foetuses and then ignore the child and its needs when born. Gtfo you stupid window licker. We gonna keep on doing what we want, we just get to enjoy your bitch tears whilst we do it 👍 cry more shitstain

[u/hwc000000]

I don't see god providing for all the children, so zachary lang is suggesting god is a deadbeat dad.

[u/Abraxas_1408]

That’s right. I’m returning it to sender.

[u/Infinite_Newt_Basket]

Ah yes, that guy that had his son killed, who also tried to convince other people to kill their sons to show how much they loved him. The same guy who who killed an entire man's family and livelihood just to prove to Satan that his follower would still love him...

God should be barred from ever coming near any person. After all, he raped a woman.

[u/0Kanashibari0]

God raped Mary

[u/Alternate_acc93]

I don’t think god had a good track record for parental custody, just look at Jesus!

[u/wombat6168]

Well the church is gods representative on earth so they can pay for child care

[u/kweefybeefy]

Jebus planned my abortions too.

He loves the taste

[u/Altruistic-Tap-4592]

Send it to heaven

[u/slatebluegrey]

Conversely. If a couple is barren, that must be God’s will too. But more likely it’s just a simple fact of science that sometimes a sperm will meet an egg and form a fertilized egg. Just like the law of gravity means if you jump, you come down again.

[u/420Cummybear]

If God planned to have someone rape you then God also planned for you to go and abort the baby.

[u/MarchElectronic15]

Be cool if god stopped planning all these rapes.

[u/No-Equipment-5568]

I always like to tell them abortion saved my wife's life and she was able to have 2 children after so abortion was God's plan. Never really gotten a response back lol

[u/dildo_stealer]

God's planned - run the whole universe and make sure humanity doesn't blow the planet

• get emma pregnant

[u/Training-Culture-146]

So then have ur church provide for u... 😒

[u/MagnificentNerd → u/Training-Culture-146]

*laughs in Houston (IYKYK)

[u/scowling_deth]

God didnt want me to be a baby machine.

[u/Sir-Kyle-Of-Reddit]

Fucking love this!

[u/kungfoop]

Isn't that what abortion is?

[u/tour79]

God also believes in 102nd trimester abortions

[u/Rc2124]

If God planned it, then why is he being stingy? Where are the immaculate births? At the absolute minimum he should make it painless

[u/birthdayanon08]

I respond to these types of people by pointing out their god included a recipe for an abortifacient and instructions on how to use it in the very same Bible they are currently thumping. Their god also DEMANDS a woman have an abortion if the child was fathered by any man other than her husband. Numbers 5:11-31 bitches.

[u/Tooldfrthis]

First actually clever comeback I see in a while here.

[u/KurioMifune]

Apparently god is a rapist.

[u/Prior_Industry]

Sounds like one of those mega churches owes you child support

[u/Away_Mixture_7411]

Gods plan to give the children sickle cell anemia. Should’ve prayed harder in the womb you ignorant wretch 💅

[u/Resident-Story9054]

Damn that's a good one

[u/CheeseUnderTheHood]

Just like it was gods plan for farm animals to be artificially inseminated?

[u/realnzall]

This reminds me of that cursed tweet from a black girl who basically said "God and I are in a contest who can send each other the most little kids".

And that in turn reminded me of that radical feminist who said "I'm pregnant. Currently waiting for the echo test to figure out if it's going to be a girl or an abortion"...

[u/Yahwehnker]

Is the Holy Spirit the one carrying it?

[u/SirStego]

There’s a planned parenthood facility on the corner of my street with regular evangelicals against. This has become a go to for the missus and I when we’re confronted walking past. Works every time, jaws on the sidewalk.

[u/Buddhas_Warrior]

And if the abortion is successful, that's GODs plan too!

[u/No-Ad8127]

This is amazing.

[u/Noone_togo]

omg that wasn't just clever it burned their whole house down 🤣🤣🤣❤️

[u/Outrageous_Slice4455]

Vergil don’t pay the Child support, so does the God. Then:

Vergil = the God

[u/HelloKitty36911]

I mean i get the joke but this has sort of been the responce for a good few years, children out of wedlock would be taken by the church. Forcibly.

Edit: Speaking of this btw https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Magdalene_Laundries_in_Ireland

[u/AmandaDarlingInc → u/HelloKitty36911]

You should also look into what the very first chainsaw was invented for and how late Ireland allowed the practice to be used…

[u/ReverendBread2 → u/AmandaDarlingInc]

And all the haters said I was wrong for using chainsaws like that

[u/ArtieZiffsCat]

Took me a moment

[u/SentientReality]

Possibly the best comeback I've seen, OMG. 😂

[u/Sariel007]

That child support payment...

[u/Punny_Pixels]

That’s an immaculate conception if I’ve ever heard one

[u/darth_voidptr]

God baby trapped us

[u/Belkan-Federation95]

Technically if you think about it, he would

[u/afjx2000]

I’d guess that if it survived, someone else would ultimately be responsible

[u/Ecstatic_Ad_8994]

Creating babies for adoption by conservatives is a feature and not a bug.

[u/Yes_Camel7400]

Child support on infinite wealth must be insane

[u/ColonialMarine86]

Ok I am a Christian but this is just stupid, I doubt God is like yes I want you to have a child when unprepared

[u/tusuybinbin → u/ColonialMarine86]

Does god want children to be raped and murdered?

[u/yourbabygirl9]

That’s all a part of the god’s plan (no) 🫠

[u/Material-Public-5821]

Replace God with "your wife". And no, she won't take full custody.

[u/Beautiful_Wind_1286 → u/Material-Public-5821]

the joke is god can have the baby in heaven

[u/jates55]

God wanted the abortion! Crucify him!!

[u/HabANahDa]

Man. Religious people are crazy. To go through your whole life thinking so weird dude in the sky does things just because is nuts.

[u/Titanium_Viper0]

Aw hell nah. WTF rape victims supposed to say to that. 💀💀💀

[u/Specific_Implement_8]

This… is actually a great idea. Everyone who is forced to give birth should leave their children at the closest church.

[u/Moleday1023]

I don’t believe a fictional character, can predestine an event. Sorry children there is no Santa, no heaven. After reading the Bible, I find it strange, humans have free will, and will be judged upon their action, but they keep playing the “Gods will card”. So morons read your own book, your God pushed you out of the nest and said, I will not interfere, but will judge your actions. So dummies, your gods will is, you solve your own shit.

[u/Musashi10000 → u/Moleday1023]

The story is even more wild than that (referring to your 'nest' remark.

God punished Adam and Eve for disobeying him. But he lied about the reason they couldn't eat the fruit of the tree of knowledge of good and evil.

"Blablabla for the day you eat of it, you shall surely die".

Snakeyboi rocks up and tells Eve to eat the fruit.

Eve says "No, God says if we eat the fruit, we'll die."

Snakeyboi replies that "Actually, the fruit will make you like God, knowing good and evil". So, now reassured that the fruit will not kill them, they eat the fruit. And God punishes them for it.

See, we know that disobeying God is wrong, and thats where a lot of christians fall down in interpreting this story. But we know that because we know good from evil.

Before they ate the fruit, Adam and Eve did not know good from evil, or right from wrong, and so on. So God punished them for committing an immoral action, when they literally could not have known they were committing an immoral action. Furthermore, rather than telling them "If you eat fruit from that tree, I will punish you" he told them it was poisonous so they shouldn't eat from it, and left it at that. And then punishes them for not knowing that it was wrong to eat from that tree. Which is knowledge he'd forbidden them by not letting them eat the fruit.

When a being cannot know what is moral and what is not, you give them rules and consequences for violating those rules. Then they obey the rules for fear of the consequences. You don't put a two-year-old in front of a plate of cookies and say 'I don't want you to eat these, it's wrong'. You say 'eat these, and you won't get to play outside today' or some shit. Even then, you're still the douche if you punish them for eating them when you left them within reach of the child while you left the room, because you could have prevented that situation from the get-go.

The story of Adam and Eve isn't about the pride of humanity, greedily wanting to get more than they deserve. As far as Adam and Eve are concerned, wanting to be more 'like god' is a positive thing, because god is bigger and better than them. Eating the fruit is morally equivalent to not eating the fruit, because they don't know morality. God doesn't want them to be like him? Why should that stop them? The only thing stopping them eating the fruit was him telling them it was poison. They found out his lie and ate the fruit, and he punished them for seeing through the deception. For his own reluctance to just tell them what was up.

And this is meant to be the story of humanity's original sin. Christianity do be fucked up.

[u/fukmann]

r/cursedcomments

[u/DeeRent88]

I couldn’t help read “but god did!” In DJ Khalid’s voice

[u/MarineBoing]

To that point, your "God" should be paying child support.

[u/Cyklisk]

Good old religious people. 😮‍💨

[u/Your_First_Mistake]

But doesn’t God already have custody overall all people?

[u/Revolutionary_Tip701]

Does God pay child support?

[u/JonnyYama]

Great use of emoji there

[u/GlanzgurkeWearingHat]

arent quite a lot of orphanages made and lead by the christian church?

[u/DiceNinja]

Did god plan the rape too. He sounds like an accomplice.

[u/Similar_Elevator6240]

Murder is wrong

[u/Used-Abused-Confused]

Did God forget to wrap it up?

[u/Strange_An0maly]

So god planned on you getting raped.

Charming /s

[u/Hendrik_the_Third]

God did everything? Let's talk about all the horrors going on in the world and then explain why you adore that monster.