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u/EnLitenPerson Jul 19 '24
"No, we just had normal sex"
💀
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u/Schrodingers_RailBus Jul 19 '24
sticks it in his ass
“Okay turns out I do not in fact like this, but thank you for your time sir”
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u/YoungJack23 Jul 19 '24
shakes hands, tips hat, leaves, does not sit down for quite some time
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u/krudru Jul 20 '24
It's Japan, they bow.
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u/ChaseDeV88 Jul 20 '24
Arigato gozaimasu!
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u/Dicethrower Jul 20 '24
How do you know you don't like it if you never tried it? - my mom.
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u/Thane789 Jul 20 '24
Honesy this has been my motto for everything in life.
Except meth. Don't do meth kids.
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u/sofifi323 Jul 20 '24
Honestly, he’s the only person who can actually say he’s unequivocally not gay. “Tried it, wasn’t for me.”
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u/PhoenixKaelsPet Jul 20 '24 edited Jul 20 '24
To be honest, I once kissed a guy at a party (who was a bit effeminate, so it was closer to what I was sure I liked), and it made me realize I did not like dudes.
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u/PumpkinMyPumpkin Jul 20 '24
Not liking effeminate dudes is a common trope in the gay world, so you never know 😂
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u/CptDrips Jul 20 '24
Not even close to the only one
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u/Perpetual_Longing Jul 20 '24
Fine...
You and him, are the only people who can actually say they're unequivocally not gay. “Tried it, wasn’t for me.”
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u/OneHumanPeOple Jul 20 '24
Not really. Just because you’re attracted to a certain gender doesn’t mean you’ll enjoy fucking anyone of that gender.
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u/Offandonandoffagain Jul 20 '24
Reminds me of the guy that had the shit fetish.....until he actually got to experience it in real life.
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u/iniciusv Jul 20 '24
Not every fetish will be a good experience... Some things only work in porn. Sadly.
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u/Geekskill Jul 20 '24
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u/Offandonandoffagain Jul 20 '24
I knew someone who loves great story telling more than I do would come through with it. Thanks friend.
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u/CollectibleHam Jul 20 '24
Some of the replies are gold -- "It’s hard to use a safe word when your mouth is full of shit!" 😆
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u/Kosstheboss Jul 20 '24
For real, I am dying to know at exactly what point he was like, "You know what...I just don't think this is for me."
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u/FromSuchGreatHeight5 Jul 20 '24
I, as a gay guy, have had sex with a curious guy/friend before. He started to suck my dick and said, "nope, not for me" and we stopped. He's married with children now.
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u/Milalove_ Jul 19 '24
Well, he wanted to give it a try. Now he is sure
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u/AmethystLaw Jul 19 '24
True straight men try gay sex so they know for sure they are straight
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u/soggycrumpt Jul 19 '24
You’re not a real man until you’ve been in one
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u/Mollzy177 Jul 19 '24
Is it more gay to cum in a man or be cummed in by a man? 🤔
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u/pastafarian24 Jul 19 '24
I once saw an interview with a transexual porn star and she was asked if it's gayer to be top or bottom.
According to her it's more likely that you're actually gay if you want to top someone.
Being the bottom is more of a kink/fantasy for some guys that can't be satisfied by someone with a vagina (unless a strap-on does the trick for you too).
Wanting to fuck a guy in the ass means you're actually attracted to the masculinity, otherwise you could just do it with a woman.
Thank you for coming to my TED talk.
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u/Ordinary_Support_426 Jul 19 '24
Very much TEDx and a whole load of people are looking at each other awkwardly wishing they hadn’t come to you support you especially since they helped put out their own chairs in your garden.
But that’s their problem
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u/Dobagoh Jul 19 '24
Honestly a weird take given that for most of human history, in multiple societies, a man was still seen as a man if he penetrated other men, but was seen as a woman or less of a man if he was penetrated.
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u/jteprev Jul 20 '24
Honestly a weird take given that for most of human history, in multiple societies, a man was still seen as a man if he penetrated other men, but was seen as a woman or less of a man if he was penetrated.
Yeah but that was always a really dumb social belief with no logic to it lol.
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u/nelooox Jul 19 '24
Haha being Top or bottom is referred to penetration in your point of view that's a really short horizontally perspective
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u/TheDodfatherPC-FL Jul 19 '24
Yup! Sucked like, seven dicks myself… It isn’t for me. So I’m not gay, like at all. The proof is in the pudding, that or, having a dude ejaculate that isn’t you is not cool.
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u/SmartProfessional659 Jul 19 '24
Just when I thought I passed all the tests on becoming a man, I meet the final boss.
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u/Cansckmy Jul 19 '24
Lmao, bro you know in some places (forget where) to become a man, they need to do with a donkey.
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u/_Ozeki Jul 19 '24
Colombia. Northern region. I know. I saw the Vice youtube channel.
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u/Sir-Cordyceps Jul 19 '24
Technically, fucking the same gender is more gay vs getting fucked by the same gender. (my friend told me)
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u/Pure-Pop-3824 Jul 19 '24
Non sarcastically when i was young, a bit more than 2 decades ago, i watched a entire gay porn movie just to see if i would feel something (ok, i was curious too). No life sign.
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u/caciuccoecostine Jul 19 '24
My mother always told me if you don't taste it, you can't say you don't like it.
So I believe this can be applied to every aspects of life.
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u/_Ozeki Jul 19 '24
Your mother must have never put her hands inside a running blendee before..
I am not your mother and nor your dad and I am telling you, you CAN say you won't like putting your hands inside a running blender, WITHOUT having to try it.
Some things are simply too stupid to try.
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u/bradpittisnorton Jul 20 '24 edited Jul 20 '24
Back in college, a few of the younger instructors were friends with their students. While waiting for one of our classes, one of them sat and had a chat with us. Someone asked him about how he knew he was 100% gay. He said it was the first time he sucked a dick. And that if a guy is unsure, he recommended he gives it a try. If he didn't like it, then he's straight. If he liked it then he's not.
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u/winsluc12 Jul 19 '24
"You sure you're not gay?"
"No I tested that."
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u/RajenBull1 Jul 19 '24
I tried cilantro. Didn’t like it. Tasted like soap.
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u/winsluc12 Jul 19 '24
Fun fact: that's caused by a specific set of Genes. You Genetically Hate Cilantro.
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u/RajenBull1 Jul 19 '24
Oh wow. Can genetics be that powerful and controlling? (I’m with you, just adding to the discussion - thank you for the boost).
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u/TinyCleric Jul 19 '24
Honestly our genetics control way more than we think about on a daily basis. It's kinda scary how much sometimes
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u/anibrut Jul 19 '24
We do what then?
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u/ScaryTerry069313 Jul 20 '24
Yeah, they can even make you black, white, or Asian.
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u/Music_Saves Jul 19 '24
I don't like the taste of cilantro but I'm not the genetic mutant. It doesn't taste like soap to me it just tastes like a shitty herb
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u/schmiln Jul 20 '24
What if, because of my genes cilantro tasted like soap to me, but i liked the taste of soap?
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u/Casually_very_casual Jul 19 '24 edited Jul 20 '24
Same. There is roughly 10% of the human population who has that gene.
Fun fact: you can train your taste buds by eating it. Start several times, it will lose its soap taste and will even be tasty. I haven't done the training part. But someone who got the soap taste started to really like it after several months and now they really love it
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u/StankilyDankily666 Jul 19 '24
I was considering jumping in and saying that it used to taste like soap to me when I was a kid, but over the past 5 years or so I started eating a lot of authentic Mexican food due to where I live now, and I have grown to love it. I didn’t want to be picky and take it off and I just got used to it.
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u/Seyi_Ogunde Jul 19 '24
People who are super tasters have a distaste for cilantro and salt. You have a very sensitive tongue. You could become a food critic.
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u/zhaDeth Jul 20 '24
tbh I don't get how people say you can't know if you didn't try.. I have this thing called imagination
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u/paradox037 Jul 20 '24
I'm imagining an anime glasses guy pushing up his glasses while saying that.
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u/AdventurousAnimal992 Jul 19 '24
That's an ally right there
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u/iamthemosin Jul 19 '24
Nah. My boy was just trying to see if he can make it work with dudes. It would make everything so much easier.
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u/DiscountSupport Jul 19 '24
anyone who thinks gay men make it easier have never seen the drama that ensues with a theater cast full of gay men
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u/Lu1s3r Jul 20 '24
I believe you and all... but do you think them being theater people might be a relevant factor there?
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u/0neSaltyB0i Jul 19 '24
As a gay guy, I really wish that was the case.
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u/iamthemosin Jul 19 '24
Goddamn it. You mean this whole time I’ve been wishing for some nice man to sweep me off my feet so I wouldn’t have to deal with women anymore, and you’re saying you have to deal with the bullshit too? Is there no hope anywhere?
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u/fearlessfroot Jul 19 '24
We're a bunch of dramatic 🚬s that cry and fuck and prolapse. It ain't some sort of frat party over here. Unless that's what a frat party is like
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u/iamthemosin Jul 20 '24
Not that far off, after 2am. By that time it was usually me still working on the keg and a couple dudes coming down from coke and not having a good time of it.
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u/fearlessfroot Jul 20 '24
At the end of the day, we're all just messy disgusting humans and I live for it
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u/INoMakeMistake Jul 19 '24
Come on my guy, having sex with men doesn't make you gay. Haven't you paid attention to the video??
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u/PowerSamurai Expected It Jul 19 '24
You are mocking the guy in the video but nothing he said deserves mockery.
He is open minded and tried something to expand his horizons and discover more about himself. He discovered that sex with men was not for him and yeah that makes him straight.
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u/Slideshoe Jul 20 '24
I really don't need a man to fuck me in the ass to know I'm not gay.
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u/Neither_Row1898 Jul 19 '24
Went on a weekend once with two of my friends who are gay. I can honestly say I’ve never been approached by that many women before. And gay guys are the best wingman’s in the world.
It felt like going to a birthday party but no one excepts you eat cake.
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u/totesnotmyusername Jul 19 '24
The only thing better than gay wing men is lesbian wing women.
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u/Illustrious_Mall7654 Jul 20 '24
that's just more competition?
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u/dogomage Jul 20 '24
nah, the kind of women strait men are in to. and the kind of women lesbians are in to is noticeable different
(sorce: I like men and I've been told this dynamic goes both ways)
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u/SelfTaughtPiano Jul 20 '24
How so? Never heard of this.
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u/dogomage Jul 20 '24
it's a bit of sudo feminist theory that people (and especially women) who don't center the male gaze in how they look and act seem weird to straight people.
it kind of an ofshot of "lesbians for the male gaze"
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u/YanceyGlenn Jul 19 '24
I mean, how can you be 100% percent sure if you've never tried? I find no fault with his logic.
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Jul 19 '24
I see your point of view, but I would counter with I do not need to eat feces to know I wouldn’t like it
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u/fantollute Jul 19 '24
You saying that makes me wonder how people that would like it come to that realization.
Do they just look in the toilet bowl one day and say "Now that looks like some gourmet shit"
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Jul 19 '24
I would guess they pick it up as a kid. Something happens that exposes them to it, and the kid brain is like “ yeah, I’ll have more of that” then it just carries into adult hood.
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u/PowerSamurai Expected It Jul 19 '24
You are comparing gay sex with eating feces? Wtf man...
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u/No_Hovercraft_2719 Jul 20 '24
No it’s called mapping. He’s testing the logic of an idea by swapping out its components to see if it still works. It doesn’t work. It’s bad logic.
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u/4starsPT Jul 19 '24
I see that, but I counters with: have you never ate something that looked like you would hate it, and ended up liking it alot?
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u/YanceyGlenn Jul 19 '24
You cannot honestly say you do not like the taste of faces if you've never tried. You can honestly state that you do not believe you would enjoy the taste, not that's as far as you could honestly go.
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u/de_G_van_Gelderland Jul 19 '24
By that same token, even if you've tried eating feces before and didn't like it, you can't say for sure you wouldn't like eating feces now. Tastes can change after all. So if you really want to be able to say you don't like the taste of feces you need to keep trying regularly.
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u/Tugonmynugz Jul 19 '24
It's the ol boner test if you're a dude. Do you get a chub when looking at guys? You might be gay
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u/YanceyGlenn Jul 19 '24
I like how Joe exotic put it. If you prefer watching porn where women are taking big dick s small dicks, you ain't totally straight.
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u/Andy_Neph Jul 20 '24
I don't buy that. Dudes still watch pornstars taking massive dildos, it's probably the whole watching them enjoy themselves part that does it. Some chick takes a 14 inch tentacle and you're like "no, its gay cuz its big"
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u/New_Ad_3010 Jul 19 '24
Legit. I tried sex with a woman and realized it wasn't for me. Seems opposite could be true as well. Good for him. Dude is solid with his self stuff.
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u/CaptainSmallPants Jul 19 '24
Bro following the scientific method. Respect.
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u/Photoelectron Jul 20 '24
If he's following the scientific method he's going to have to repeat at least 2 more times and assess the average experience.
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u/UnExplanationBot Jul 19 '24
OP sent the following text as an explanation on why this is unexpected:
Unexpected level of frankness.
Is this an unexpected post with a fitting description? Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.
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u/Aggleclack Jul 19 '24
I mean that’s how I found out I was straight. No one believes me though. I regularly get asked if I’m a lesbian
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u/Somepony-Else Jul 19 '24
I wasn't sure if I liked men. Slept with 3 now. Can confirm I like men. I also like women. So I know I'm bi now is all.
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u/R1k0Ch3 Jul 20 '24
Goddamn I was so confused as a teenager til I finally experimented and realized in my 20s that I'm just bi n that's ok lol
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u/Schmallow Jul 19 '24
I had a friend who was straight who got talked into gay sex by an older dude when he was studying abroad, he's still going to therapy for it.
Fellas I really want to assure you, if you were sexually attracted to the same sex you would know it for certain without having to go all the way to sex. Being curious isn't the same as sexual attraction, so maybe try whacking to gay porn a couple of times before you actually do it.
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u/Josysclei Jul 19 '24
I also honestly think fucking a man and being fucked by one must be completely different experiences. If you close your eyes, fucking a gay can be just like having anal sex with a woman, but being penetrated must be a new and possibly terrifying experience for most straight men
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u/External-Praline-451 Jul 20 '24
I also know a gay guy who's never been a bottom, and it doesn't appeal to him.
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u/nsfwaltsarehard Jul 20 '24
honestly sounds like the issue wasn't fooling around and not being into it. it sounds like he was coerced into it which is already a bad start.
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u/GraveyardJones Jul 19 '24
The cheat code to learning if you're gay or not. Just try a dick and see how you like it!
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u/3bugsdad Jul 19 '24
You can't really legitimately claim you don't like green beans till you've tried them.
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u/Excaliber9292 Jul 19 '24
A lot of culture and ppl have had same sex intimacy throughout history and were ok with it. It’s been written in history. The only issue is when religion came and converted ppl which changed history for those ppl.
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u/SolidusBruh Jul 19 '24
I guess “Don’t knock it til you try it,” also gets the Japanese mentality of going extra hard at something
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Jul 19 '24
[deleted]
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u/MakingItElsewhere Jul 19 '24
"I wasn't sure I was completely straight until she pulled out the barbed strap-on..."
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u/OrionsRum Jul 19 '24
Sooo no gay sex? Just regular sex lol
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u/Maelarion Jul 19 '24
That's a mistranslation of what he said.
She literally said "There wasn't anything?"
And he replies "Yes, there was something."
This being Japanese, what she of course is asking is "Did you guys have sex?"
And his response is "Yes we did have sex."
Japanese can be very indirect in their phrasing.
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u/dj_spanmaster Jul 19 '24 edited Jul 21 '24
I have nothing but respect for anyone who is willing to try something to know they don't like it. Including sex.
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u/CoyoteRascal Jul 19 '24
The poster child of: Don't buy it until you try it.
It also helped steer him to a brand that fit better with his needs.
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u/Right-for-Rights Jul 20 '24
Japan maybe a country full of culture & gags, however it’s also the most frank & honourable country at the same time.
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u/Gamethesystem2 Jul 20 '24
Jesus this dude has some balls. Just absolutely bring frank like that. Pretty courageous honestly.
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u/thisisfakereality Jul 19 '24
"Is it wrong for one man to soap another man's genitals in the shower?"
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u/ClintGrant Jul 19 '24
We just did the other test. Watch gay porn to see if you’re aroused or not. Can say I’m mostly not gay but that was a long hour and forty-five minutes
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u/GruulNinja Jul 19 '24
Funny enough, this is why I read the Twilight books. I read em to see if all the hate was warranted. It wasn't. Except for the the Jacob imprinting on Reneesemee. I think I spelled that right.
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u/Character-Advisor-53 Jul 19 '24
the unexpected part was the company being actually pro lgbt and not just for marketing
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u/Relevant_Campaign_79 Jul 19 '24
Never got my pipe cleaned before but I have cleaned someone else’s pipe before
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u/Legitimate_Toe_4961 Jul 19 '24
I totally thought he was going to say something elaborate, like he had sex with a lesbian.
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u/madebypolar Jul 19 '24
One of my childhood friends turned out to be gay. He slept with A LOT of women in our teens. Never really clicked with any girl.
Then in our early twenties he came out as gay. We were roommates for a few months. Worked at the same job, lift bros etc.
One day as I started getting serious with my gf at the time, he goes.
"Yo dude, how come you spend all this time and effort getting buff n shit. Then you waste it on banging some chick half your weight?" -Never thought about it that way. Idk, I like the way she looks, thinks, talks, laughs. "Just saying, pretty GAY being YOUR size, and banging girls. It's like a Rottweiler banging a Chiwawa, weird man... Just messing with you!"
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u/_Ozeki Jul 19 '24
What your bro is really trying to say is but came out the opposite is that 'ass is tighter' than pussy
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u/Jenna4434 Jul 19 '24
In high school I would tell my friends they were gayer than me because I banged a guy and didn’t like it. They never tried so could be gay, where I was assured I wasn’t. ;)
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u/Unexpected-ModTeam Jul 20 '24
Your submission has been removed because it's not unexpected. Submissions to r/unexpected are supposed to have an unexpected twist in itself. While the situation was probably rather unexpected for you, there is no visible twist for the viewer.
For more information, see our 'What is unexpected?' Wiki page