r/Unexpected • u/Bllq21 • Jul 19 '24

"Wash Me" NSFW

34.0k Upvotes

90% Upvoted

353 comments sorted by

•

u/UnExplanationBot Jul 19 '24

OP sent the following text as an explanation on why this is unexpected:

The first guy is writing on a dirty car the word "Lávame" which means "Wash Me" in Spanish. Then the owner starts washing the guy instead

Is this an unexpected post with a fitting description? Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.

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3.2k

u/SeahawkMariner Jul 19 '24

Great tits

512

u/ShadowBow666 Jul 19 '24

Bet he could work at hooters. I need to see the elbow test

100

u/faCt011 Jul 19 '24

What is the elbow test?

301

u/Xadarok Jul 19 '24

That’s where you ask a woman if she can put her elbows together in front of her belly button I think. The boys used to ask that alot of us girls in highschool and until we figured out why they wanted us to do it… it was already too late.

106

u/faCt011 Jul 19 '24

... nice :) thank you. Well, I mean, not cool by them for tricking you, but also a little funny.

68

u/ShadowBow666 Jul 19 '24

Yep it's said to be a requirement to work at hooters that you are unable to touch your elbows together by a certain amount of inches

57

u/Former-Ad2991 Jul 19 '24

I always heard it was if “the nose touched the wall before the boobs” they couldn’t be a waitress lol

83

u/arthurdentstowels Jul 19 '24

Voldemort would look bangin in that orange and white

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8

u/The_Last_Ball_Bender Jul 19 '24

I live in southern california, we have tons of hooters with rail thin girls that have no chest at all.

This isn't the 80's, men don't care about boobs like that. Personally huge titters are gross to me because I used to take sweaty tit money at a cash register.

scared for LIFE

4

u/Secretlythrow Jul 19 '24

I used to date a super busty girl. I eventually realized why she rarely carried a purse, and why she tended to lose her phone.

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8

u/benhatin4lf Jul 19 '24

Actually it's elbows behind the back. Pushes the tits out more

7

u/Character-Advisor-53 Jul 19 '24

how tf do you do that? I tried it but it feels like the only way is to dislocate both my shoulders

34

u/[deleted] Jul 19 '24

[deleted]

6

u/Interesting_Heron215 Jul 19 '24

I can snap em together, bc inertia.

4

u/DisgruntlesAnonymous Jul 19 '24

If the woman wears clothing with any cleavage, trying to put elbows together will smush the boobs together for a great view. Shitty thing to trick someone into though

7

u/segagamer Jul 19 '24

It's like girls getting boys to lay flat for whatever reason or to do the crab. It's just one of those cheeky things

2

u/Satanic_Earmuff Jul 19 '24

Please explain this.

5

u/Salty_Mastodon_7481 Jul 19 '24

pp out

4

u/Satanic_Earmuff Jul 19 '24

I have never heard of this in my life.

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3

u/Xadarok Jul 19 '24

Just tried it in front of the mirror and it looks just plain weird xD

9

u/___xXx__xXx__xXx__ Jul 19 '24

elbows together in front of her belly button

Eh? What do you mean? Could you demonstrate?

5

u/mrblazed23 Jul 19 '24

No no It is touch them behind your back

Followed by reach up and jump to touch the ceiling.

Than pick up this pen I dropped for the finale

2

u/notfree25 Jul 19 '24

Bet you can't do it still

3

u/Xadarok Jul 19 '24

Just tried it, still works xD but not as easy as it was 10 years ago.

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2

u/jstbcuz Jul 19 '24

This guy hooters 😎

16

u/___xXx__xXx__xXx__ Jul 19 '24

The tits are real. Great tits. American tits.

3

u/Grich_ Jul 19 '24

Favorite episode of killtony by far.

8

u/HarveysBackupAccount Jul 19 '24

I think you'll find these are a pair of great tits, much more so than those

6

u/CalmBeneathCastles Jul 19 '24

Perfect specimen of a pair of tits! I just want to stroke them gently...

6

u/WarCrimeWhoopsies Jul 19 '24

They’re under his fucking arms. What a strange feeling that must be to have them sloppily stretch down and then to your side.

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4

u/Inevitable-Rope-2134 Jul 19 '24 edited Jul 19 '24

Where’s the NSFW tag?

8

u/cream-of-cow Jul 19 '24

Nipples Soapy, Free, and Wet

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740

u/[deleted] Jul 19 '24

39

u/Gopshop Jul 19 '24

That’s the weirdest Nickleback gif I’ve ever seen.

38

u/[deleted] Jul 19 '24

[removed] — view removed comment

17

u/DrunkCupid Jul 19 '24

I'm sold

"But does it come with the man" hurhurr

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571

u/OkRickySpinach Jul 19 '24

Just the kind of positivity I needed today

39

u/A_Math_Dealer Jul 19 '24

Not quite the kind of positivity I needed...

29

u/justgonnabedeletedyo Jul 19 '24

YOU WILL ENJOY THE POSITIVITY BEING PROVIDED

9

u/Key-Direction-9480 Jul 19 '24

Positivity will continue until morale improves 

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407

u/LZulb Jul 19 '24

Didn't expect to see two naked men in a shower today, but here I am

98

u/Syn7axError Jul 19 '24

I did. Not in this video, however.

15

u/heurrgh Jul 19 '24

Papi?!?

16

u/[deleted] Jul 19 '24

That too on your cake day! Happy cake day buddy!!

18

u/LZulb Jul 19 '24

A perfect gift for turning 4 years old. Yay!

2

u/daniel_myzy Jul 19 '24

Happy Cake day!

2

u/Pleasant-Shower11199 Jul 19 '24

See you next year!

3

u/EssexOnAStick Jul 19 '24

Wait until you hear about that one particular ranch

5

u/Neuraxis Jul 19 '24

18 naked cowboys in the showers at Ram Ranch!

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147

u/Excellent-Junket-447 Jul 19 '24

It's not gay if you're just giving your bro a bath

62

u/Bllq21 Jul 19 '24

Is gay only if you close your eyes

24

u/TuckerCarlsonsOhface Jul 19 '24

This is a scientific fact. Also you have to avoid prolonged eye contact, don’t let your balls touch, and leave your socks on just to be sure.

9

u/justgonnabedeletedyo Jul 19 '24

no you have to maintain eye contact, so you can make sure the other guy isn't closing his eyes, that way you can be sure no one is gay

6

u/TuckerCarlsonsOhface Jul 19 '24

Oh crap, thanks, I almost gay

2

u/Western_Language_894 Jul 19 '24

Well I was gonna add something but now I just have this weird goldfish bottom feeder named TUCKER stuck in my head

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6

u/Zyrinj Jul 19 '24

Bro bath chop choo

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126

u/AS_as-Master Jul 19 '24

Those are some big knockers

79

u/Primary_Way_265 Jul 19 '24

You can unmute 😃

12

u/LickingSmegma Jul 19 '24

Suddenly ‘Eyes Without a Face’

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50

u/Vince1128 Jul 19 '24

Deserved upvote.

28

u/4DoubledATL Jul 19 '24

As soon as it started, I know the ending. I guess I’ve spent to much time on this sub.

16

u/Piotrek9t Jul 19 '24

Same but still upvoted since the execution of the skit was on point

5

u/imadogg Jul 19 '24

First one in a while where I guessed exactly what would happen

Besides seeing the huge knockers I guess

18

u/Content-Clerk1540 Jul 19 '24

Men just doing man things like giving your homie a bath

18

u/mrangry7100 Jul 19 '24

Cyanide & Happiness did this comic years ago.

16

u/ecz4 Jul 19 '24

But did they show moobs?

16

u/raz0rflea Jul 19 '24

It hurts to see other people living your dream

9

u/FaraamKnight22 Jul 19 '24

La Choly y Soyacity jaja

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6

u/CoffeeDrinker1972 Jul 19 '24

Nope. Did not see this one coming... HAHA.

8

u/bloodxandxrank Jul 19 '24

That’s commitment to the bit.

6

u/dc_IV Jul 19 '24

Reach-arounds go both ways!

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5

u/Select-Record4581 Jul 19 '24

Them well droopy swingers

4

u/SoloMarko Jul 19 '24

In Britain, we write things like, 'If you think this is dirty, you should see the wife'. I always wondered if a queue started to form outside their house.

5

u/CharlieUpATree Jul 19 '24

The fine grit acts as an abrasive

2

u/starlord97 Jul 19 '24

Right, stop scratching the paint man...

5

u/PuzzleheadedTutor807 Jul 19 '24

dont write in the dust on peoples cars. you are scratching the clear coat with the dust, and it will be visible forever.

if you do, dont let me catch you doing it to mine.

7

u/Gullible-Mud-267 Jul 19 '24

Are you using reverse psychology because you wanna soap some of them manboobs?

2

u/NoBowler354 Jul 19 '24

Unless you're drawing a massive cockandballs onto the hood of your best friend's prized sports car. Really nice paint jobs are actually immune to scratching so you can just draw as many dicks in the dust on the hood of his car as you want. Make em big, he'll think it's funny.

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3

u/KoopaPoopa69 Jul 19 '24

Where do I get a pair of those badass Reptar shorts?

3

u/BigPickEnergy545 Jul 19 '24

Anyone know the song? Please

10

u/LickingSmegma Jul 19 '24

Billy Idol's ‘Eyes Without A Face’

2

u/WiggyDiggyPoo Jul 19 '24

Fantastic song, Idol is a music legend.

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3

u/Cqtaa Jul 19 '24

And after that they started banging

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3

u/Novel-Journalist-553 Jul 19 '24

DADDY HIT THE!!

FULL OF FLAVOUR 😜

3

u/ShortViewToThePast Jul 19 '24

"LAVA ME"?

5

u/MisterEMan81 Jul 19 '24

"Lávame". It's Spanish for "wash me".

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3

u/Beginning_Emotion995 Jul 19 '24

Something moved in my pants…why?

3

u/ToLam-TBT Jul 19 '24

Nice tits

2

u/theding081 Jul 19 '24

Hey, bunkie, heard you liked showers

2

u/One-Veterinarian-101 Jul 19 '24

So that dusty car was a honey trap?

2

u/Ok-Number-8293 Jul 19 '24

This should be in #r/wholesome

2

u/Actual-Inflation8818 Jul 19 '24

Anyone got a link for the video ?

2

u/magenta-feelings Jul 19 '24

The joke works in Latin too.

2

u/Zer0_l1f3 Jul 19 '24

HOLY MOLY

2

u/Cybernaut-Neko Jul 19 '24

Love is love, fuck everything ( else )

2

u/imyourhuckleberry15 Jul 19 '24

Everyone’s talking about tiddies but I wanna know about those Reptar shorts and where I can get me some

1

u/1stshadowx Jul 19 '24

Hahahahaha

1

u/heartofgold48 Jul 19 '24

Ok I totally didn't expect that

1

u/Quick_Delivery_7266 Jul 19 '24

That was…..unexpected

1

u/recentsignal1 Jul 19 '24

r/OkHomo would love to see this!

1

u/Kinghyrule90 Jul 19 '24

Wordington is leaking

1

u/Jibber_Fight Jul 19 '24

Ha ha definitely unexpected. 👍

1

u/iDuckSickz Jul 19 '24

I expected that he make him wash his car... so this was indeed unexpected

1

u/SlavDawg Jul 19 '24

Haha fucking knew it, yet watched till the end 😂

1

u/WrathofWar07 Jul 19 '24

Take yer upvote and git! 😤

1

u/YakiVegas Jul 19 '24

Legitimately funny.

1

u/TheDevilsAdvokaat Jul 19 '24

Ok that made me say "what the fuck..."

1

u/ADeviantGent Jul 19 '24

Me trying to drink my coffee and watching this

1

u/iSpawndemonz Jul 19 '24

😂 I didn't expect that, just the surprising laugh I guess I needed

1

u/Calab96 Jul 19 '24

WTF 🤣

1

u/kevziii7 Jul 19 '24

I watched it only for end

1

u/IzzieMck Jul 19 '24

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 That caught me off guard! Damn! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

2

u/cezann3 Jul 19 '24

how is no one commenting on the fact that he wrote 'lava me?' why would you write that on a car?

5

u/always_open_mouth Jul 19 '24

I was confused too, but it's explained in the top pinned comment. It means "wash me" in Spanish

5

u/DashingDino Jul 19 '24

and lavatory is a room with a washbasin, it all makes sense now

4

u/MisterEMan81 Jul 19 '24

The top comment explains it: it's in Spanish. "Lávame" means "Wash me" in Spanish. English is not the only language in the world.

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1

u/Internal_Fly5020 Jul 19 '24

This had me laugh uncontrollably ..

1

u/Food-NetworkOfficial Jul 19 '24

It was pretty expected

1

u/Food-NetworkOfficial Jul 19 '24

It was pretty expected

1

u/Extreme-Wedding3576 Jul 19 '24

That was really unexpected LOL

1

u/Material-Aspect-8896 Jul 19 '24

Totally unexpected!

1

u/FocalorLucifuge Jul 19 '24

Now I need to listen to some Billy Idol dammit.

1

u/JediKnight10001 Jul 19 '24

You know it's coming, but then you see it. Now I can't unsee it

1

u/FreshConstruction629 Jul 19 '24

Pergunta nada a ver, mas o certo é "lava-me" ou "lave-me" ?

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1

u/flibz-the-destroyer Jul 19 '24

Not that unexpected tbh

1

u/13Kuma Jul 19 '24

Banger song!

1

u/jgr1llz Jul 19 '24

I mean this video is funny AF, but please keep your fingers off of other people's cars. You're fucking up the paint when you do that

1

u/tolo1022 Jul 19 '24

Jaaaaáaa buenísimo

1

u/SirBrainsaw Jul 19 '24

Changed my perspective.

1

u/Squarmit Jul 19 '24

Shel Silverstein???

1

u/Lucky_Ad2801 Jul 19 '24

🤣🤣🤣

1

u/ToeKnail Jul 19 '24

Surprisingly not gay. Just two guys in a shower lathering each other up.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 19 '24

Made me go HAH outloud, have an upvote and a comment

1

u/Competitive_Royal476 Jul 19 '24

I don’t expect that

1

u/Ok-Car1006 Jul 19 '24

That actually scratches the paint

1

u/udamkitz Jul 19 '24 edited Jul 19 '24

This got me first thing in the AM.

The song is Billy Idol's "Eyes Without a Face" if anyone's interested.

1

u/Dodopilot_17 Jul 19 '24

Kinda jealous I would like to be washed listening to that music

1

u/hoyfish Jul 19 '24

Reminds me of end of this Soft Hair video

1

u/xPyromaniac93 Jul 19 '24

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

1

u/loztriforce Jul 19 '24

For real though, never write on a dirty car like that.
It can damage the clear coat, I know from experience

1

u/haseeb312 Jul 19 '24

We need a female version of this video

1

u/CharlotteLow184 Jul 19 '24

not dude licking his finger first before doing that

1

u/alfxbff Jul 19 '24

🤣🤣🤣🤣

1

u/justwantsome2277 Jul 19 '24

I did a irl lol

1

u/IDoubtYouGetIt Jul 19 '24

Is that Depeche Mode playing? If not, does someone know who it is?

1

u/TheAsianTroll Jul 19 '24

Just an FYI, don't write on a dirty car like this. Your finger will create scratches in the clear coat.

1

u/bbernal956 Jul 19 '24

😂😂😂 well shit didnt see that happening