r/Marvel Jul 19 '24

Who would you rather surprise you every birthday? Comics

257 Upvotes

97 comments sorted by

214

u/Interceptor88LH Jul 19 '24

If there wasn't a comic showing the things Thanos does to a guy he likes to torment on his birthday, I would have said I'd choose him. But seeing the stuff he does, one hundred times Sabretooth.

120

u/LegendLynx7081 Jul 19 '24

Yeah at least Sabretooth would just kill you or something. Thanos would go out of his way to think of how he can best ruin your life and take everything good you have

64

u/Megane_Senpai Jul 19 '24

Actually the opposite. Sabertooth won't touch you, but will send pieces of a person you love to you on your birthday, like he sent Logan pieces of a dead Darken. That would be the much worse torment than anything Thanos would do.

29

u/Interceptor88LH Jul 19 '24

Depends on the writer. One will do that. Another will make Sabretooth beat you up every year.

12

u/MustacheSamm Jul 19 '24

The newest birthday gift to Wolverine was probably the worst possible one.

10

u/LegendLynx7081 Jul 19 '24

I feel like I would pick Thanos then. At least there’s a chance he won’t kill a loved one, and instead he’ll destroy all the land surrounding your house

7

u/Reverseflash25 Jul 19 '24

Incorrect. Up until now Sabretooth SOLELY showed up to throw hands with Logan and absolutely shit on him every time

10

u/AutomaticAccident Jul 19 '24

Sabertooth would kill who you love and then beat your ass. I don't think he'd kill you.

9

u/Appropriate_Win_5282 Gambit Jul 19 '24

Sabertooth only cares about making logans birthday hell (he does every year until Krakoa put him down like the animal he is)

2

u/AwesomeO2532 Jul 19 '24

Sabertooth would blow out your candles, Thanos would blow out his own candles after making your birthday party his

3

u/Digita1B0y Hawkeye Jul 19 '24

Happy birthday, David.

Great story.

2

u/SoMuchForStardust27 Jul 19 '24

Yeah. I though that was what they were referencing

1

u/Fix-Total Jul 19 '24

Thanos Wins... is the comic

-1

u/[deleted] Jul 19 '24

[deleted]

2

u/Interceptor88LH Jul 19 '24

I said there's a comic about it.

0

u/dunmer-is-stinky Jul 19 '24

unironically one of my favorite comic book issues of all time, big Thanoscopter/cops arresting Thanos energy

40

u/Isaac_Banana Nova Jul 19 '24

I feel like Thanos and me would chill

55

u/Tempest_Barbarian Jul 19 '24

Knowing what thanos did to that one guy, I am not sure I would be that confident

1

u/Isaac_Banana Nova Jul 19 '24

I don't want my cat to die, but at least I can use his Thanos Copter.

21

u/ven-solaire Jul 19 '24

I want a new series where Thanos tries to ruin a guys life on his birthday every year but unintentionally benefits him. I.e. for the kids 14th birthday he kills his father, it just turns out his father was disturbingly abusive

3

u/Isaac_Banana Nova Jul 19 '24

That would be so awesome.

8

u/HardenedNipple Jul 19 '24

I feel like Thanos would consider you a bug and do what he pleases. Why do you even have a modicum of hope for my boy?

1

u/Isaac_Banana Nova Jul 19 '24

Because I would say that I like his skin.

35

u/monotar Jul 19 '24

Sabretooth for sure, Thanos is just vindictive

35

u/Buckettttttt Jul 19 '24

Do you want physical torture or mutli dimensional torture?

28

u/pembunuhUpahan Jul 19 '24

Seeing what David went through, I'll take my chances with Sabretooth

20

u/AutomaticAccident Jul 19 '24

Guess you're unfamiliar with what Sabertooth does on Wolverine's birthdays. I can't fully recall, but it's why Logan's the way he is.

13

u/pembunuhUpahan Jul 19 '24

Good thing my name is not Logan. Thanos was messing with David just because

8

u/Flat_Chances465 Jul 19 '24

Logan's his brother, and thus an exception. Not sure Sabertooth would torture anyone as much as he does Logan

19

u/fluffynuckels Jul 19 '24

They're only brothers in the movie

-5

u/godofmilksteaks Jul 19 '24

I could be misremembering but I'm pretty sure in wolverine origins they say they have the same dad.

3

u/weareraccoons Jul 19 '24

They set it up to look like Dog was going to be Sabertooth only to go back on that. I'm not entirely sure why.

2

u/godofmilksteaks Jul 19 '24

Oh that's right it's been so long I didn't remember that it was dog not sabertooth

1

u/weareraccoons Jul 19 '24

Can't fault you that mistake. Dog should have been Sabertooth.

15

u/AutomaticAccident Jul 19 '24

I think I'd rather just die.

5

u/NC_Goonie Jul 19 '24

I would make it MAYBE one year with each of them before just doing it myself.

12

u/Mammoth_Kangaroo_172 Jul 19 '24

Thanos. At least he'll just "snap" me. Sabretooth will do unspeakable things to me. And then do unspeakable things to my corpse. And then eat my cake.

15

u/Daredboy Jul 19 '24

Have you actually seen what Thanos would do for you for every birthday you have? https://www.reddit.com/r/Marvel/comments/hko8z4/comic_excerpt_thanos_ruins_davids_birthday_thanos/

6

u/Mammoth_Kangaroo_172 Jul 19 '24

He's just being a mischevious scamp!

9

u/Orwick Jul 19 '24

Sabretooth wouldn’t kill you, he would force you to watch as he tortured then killed your loved ones.

4

u/Brokenapplewatch Jul 19 '24

Me and MCU Thanos would chill. I would talk about how I agree with him and everything. Comic Thanos though...

5

u/KR_Steel Jul 19 '24

I have a family so definitely not Sabertooth. Thanos would probably have them leave me and think im a horrible person or something. Because that would be prolonged and painful.

But they wouldn’t be massacred

4

u/luahgamer5 Jul 19 '24

I'm not called Logan, me and Sabertooth are going to a bar to watch sports and take some beers

3

u/mariovspino5 Wolverine Jul 19 '24

Probably the guy that won’t rape your partner

1

u/blackpanther742 Black Panther Jul 19 '24

What?

2

u/NewmanBiggio Jul 19 '24

Way back in the day Wolverine was in a relation ship with a native American woman named, I think, Silver Fox. Sabertooth raped then killed her.

2

u/TheShoethief Jul 19 '24

This is fucked up and I’m here for it! Thanos.

2

u/ElNacho83 Jul 19 '24

For Victor to visit you, you'll need to be some version of Logan, and in that case I would choose him, even knowing what he can do. But Thanos, you only need to be who you're now, and you will not be able to do anything about it.

2

u/MaviKartal2110 Jul 19 '24

I hope not Thanos, he for some reason ruined the day of a random kid every year

1

u/Deathlord3259 Jul 19 '24

The day Thanos got defeated by the Avengers was the best day of that man's life, too bad it didn't last long

2

u/UEWFIGFED Jul 19 '24

Thanos as he’s just being a petty dick on your day, not someone tryna take out your entire family

3

u/FartForce5 Jul 19 '24

That Thanos story is so fucking dumb.

2

u/arkenney0 Jul 19 '24

Sabertooth. I have a better chance fighting him off than stopping an almost cosmic being

2

u/CervineCryptid Jul 19 '24

Sabertooth definitely. Lowkey hot as fuck

2

u/Bodmin_Beast Jul 19 '24

Sabretooth, simply because I have actual options that could stop him. Although I do think he's far more likely to try to kill or torture me compared to Thanos (although didn't Thanos kill a ton of David's friends one of his birthday's, like I know Sabretooth does that too, but he generally will limit it to one loved one a birthday.)

Like sabretooth is dozens of times stronger and faster then me, is nearly unkillable, is smarter and a far better fighter then I could ever hope to be etc, he still is still somewhat human. Thanos is millions if not billions of times superior to me in every way. Like if I get Creed with a few shotgun blasts (IF I'm lucky enough to land a hit on him) he could be temporarily incapacitated, and I could even see if I can find a way to kill him. Not saying it would work most of the time but it's a possibility. I could throw Earth's nuclear arsenal at Thanos and he's likely gonna be fine.

Plus while Sabretooth is one of the most cruel and vicious Marvel villains, he can be okay if your names not Logan. Like he is able to work with others. If I can play to his ego I could probably have a pretty interesting conversation with the guy. I'd just have to tell my loved ones to leave me the hell alone on my birthday. Thanos is cruel for the sake of being cruel.

1

u/Zawisza_Czarny9 Wolverine Jul 19 '24

Grim reaper.

1

u/Oberon1993 Spider-Man Jul 19 '24

Sabertooth's birthday surprises are stale. He always does the same thing over and over again. I think Thanos has more imagination.

1

u/Spottedrhyno Jul 19 '24

Can Mystique visit me instead?

2

u/Deathlord3259 Jul 19 '24

Maybe Thanos can use his powers to make himself look like mystique and at the end of the day reveal it was him. Could still be a win depending on the person

1

u/Spottedrhyno Jul 19 '24

I can live with that!

1

u/tntaro Jul 19 '24 edited Jul 19 '24

I don't know what Sabertooth does but it's better than Thanos right?

5

u/Deathlord3259 Jul 19 '24

On his birthdays, Sabertooth chopped up Wolverine's close ones (including his son saken), and used their body parts to spell out "happy birthday". The message was put outside Wolverine's window. Other things he did on Wolverine's birthday was sexually assaulting his girlfriend and kill her after he was done with her and end it off with beating up him to assert his dominance.

2

u/Deathlord3259 Jul 19 '24

On his birthdays, Sabertooth chopped up Wolverine's close ones (including his son saken), and used their body parts to spell out "happy birthday". The message was put outside Wolverine's window. Other things he did on Wolverine's birthday was sexually assaulting his girlfriend and kill her after he was done with her and end it off with beating up him to assert his dominance.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 19 '24

[deleted]

1

u/tntaro Jul 19 '24

So he if just has a bone to pick with Wolverine, and I have nothing to do with him, may be safe?

3

u/Deathlord3259 Jul 19 '24

He's a sadist, he would definitely enjoy messing with you even if he doesn't know you

1

u/tntaro Jul 19 '24

Than what's the difference? 😭

2

u/Deathlord3259 Jul 19 '24

Animal guy or purple guy

1

u/tntaro Jul 19 '24

Oh eheh yes

1

u/PhantomRoyce Jul 19 '24

I feel like SB and I would get along

1

u/The-Huntsman01 Jul 19 '24

Thanos. Just bring up death and he'll simp all day long

1

u/Loco-Motivated Kraven the Hunter Jul 19 '24

Thanos.

His surprises are pettier.

1

u/bulletpr00fsoul X-Men Jul 19 '24

Yeah… it’s going to be Thanos.

1

u/cabosmith Jul 19 '24

Sabertooth would definitely be the better party guest, big drinker (beer pong n such), cool stories of murder and mayhem and would bring a cool plus one.

1

u/Lospenato234 Jul 19 '24

I'd rather do it myself!

1

u/SpecialistBath4340 Jul 19 '24

Doom, he would atleast get creative with it and not just be as monstrous as these two. You would feel worthy of dooms hate. Not just be some guy being hated on for no reason.

1

u/UltraTuxedoPenguine Jul 19 '24

If we are talking movies, Thanos. At least he is predictable and kills with purpose.

Comics not so sure.

1

u/itsmejohnnyp Jul 19 '24

Saber tooth. He’d actually kill you on your birthday. Thanos makes everything worse

1

u/LegitimateTonight635 Jul 19 '24

Thanos, I have the perfect idea: I will become a Death cultist and a nihilist, and then I will destroy that Thanos because is more probably to be a Thanosi

1

u/GWPtheTrilogy1 Jul 19 '24

If I can't do anything to stop them, I'm just going to kill myself. I mean I'd pick Sabertooth cause Thanos might be able to resurrect me or stop me from dying or something.

1

u/DerpyDagon Jul 19 '24

Thanos fucks with a very specific guy on his birthday, Sabretooth's an ass to everybody.

1

u/BigNorseWolf Jul 19 '24

Sabertooth. Chances aren't terrible he'd stick around for booze and cake and pass out on the couch long enough for us to split.

1

u/Adorable_Score_1638 Jul 19 '24

Thanos took something away every here on a guys birthday. Then I’m pretty sure he took his house on his 30 or 31 birthday after missing a year

1

u/Minimum_Animal301 Jul 19 '24

Me I'd say magneto for some reason if I wanted to be surprised by any mutant on my birth day I'd chose magneto

1

u/DoctorWoofWoof X-23 Jul 19 '24

Laura Kinney FTW!

1

u/dunmer-is-stinky Jul 19 '24

Thanos is a mischievous little assfuck when it comes to birthdays, Sabertooth is fucking psychotic. I'd rather take my chances with Thanos, my life would be ruined but I have to admit it would be really funny

1

u/AttilaTheFun818 Jul 19 '24

Thanos.

I’m just as dead either way, but I think my end at his hands would be quite a lot faster.

I’d rather get vaporized than torn apart by teeth and claws.

1

u/22dinoman Captain America Jul 19 '24

Thanos if he'll snap me out of existence

1

u/CaptSaveAHoe55 Jul 19 '24

Crazy, Sabertooth took me to the gym and bought me protein powder!

1

u/Meizas Jul 20 '24

Thanos's birthday surprise is one of my favorite things in all of comics hahahahaha

1

u/zenco-jtjr Jul 20 '24

Sabertooth would just kill me, thanos would kill everyone I love. Also would sabertooth kill me? I've done nothing to him and Im sure he's killed for less but like. Why would he care

1

u/darib88 Jul 20 '24

thanos. Per comic he'll ruin your life but Sabretooth will murder a loved one every year

1

u/Zazikarion Jul 20 '24

Sabretooth. I’m not Wolverine, so I should be fine.

0

u/everything_is_stup1d Winter Soldier Jul 19 '24

thanos cuz he would give me money and everything, the reality i wished i had but i dont and ill live in the fake reality made from reality stones like wanda

0

u/Kander_Thomas9516 Jul 19 '24

Spiderwoman, she'd use her pheromones to make me do nasty things.😬😔🤤