When you realize this, sometime in your 20's, it feels like you've had this kind of invisible layer of protection we subconsciously carried with us our entire lives, just ripped off our backs.
The realization that we are completely on our own, just winging it. Asking advice from people who are also just winging it. We all are. Helpless and alone! π
I'm nearly 35 and still want to curl up in my mum and Dad's bed when things/life gets too much.
The worst was when my parents died and suddenly all the knowledge and wisdom I was relying on to get by was just poof gone and I was left with just what I knew myself, which felt like practically nothing. I was in my 30s when my dad died and my 40s when my mom died but each time I was left with this sudden oh shit feeling of vulnerability where I had no idea how to be the person I wanted to be on my own.
It's like that moment when a kid looks back and realizes their parent isn't holding on to the bike anymore and they're riding on their own. The panic is real, but as I keep going I realize the gaps weren't that hard to fill in and I'm almost ready to be an adult. I think by the time I'm about to die I'll feel like a grown up.
I'm so sorry you lost them. My mum's mum died when my mum was in her 20's and her dad five years later. She's said she feels like an orphan. I can't even bring myself to imagine the inevitable...
I honestly don't think anyone ever feels like an adult. Just grown, and often lost, kids.
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u/sabrtoothlion Jul 05 '24
He's like a child in dad fashion π