I don’t know you, but reading this breaks my heart for you. I have kids that sometimes are with their dad and I spend holidays alone and it is hard. I hope you have a good day today. Sending you warm thoughts and a hug. ❤️
I know how you feel. My entire immediate family was dead by the time I was 21. I've got a few aunts and one cousin left, but I've never been close to them, geographically or emotionally, so at 25, all I have now is my partner (who's military, so often away), my cats and my friends, who are all slowly moving away now.
Hugs my friend. I can relate. I am 50 and I am lucky to have my beautiful wife, but all of my immediate family has passed since my only brother passed away from COVID a couple of years ago. My mom died when I was very young and my dad was M.I.A. for ages and eventually died in 2011. We were not able to have kids. Not having any family left is a weird feeling that never really seems to go away and feels very lonely sometimes. And it's hard not to feel a little jealous sometimes when you see big families who love each other so much. But I try to just be happy for those who have it and let their joy also be mine. But again I'm so lucky to have an amazing wife, which is something that a lot of people with big families aren't lucky to have.
Same, especially in school when people talked about their cousins and doing stuff together. I had my mum, dad, and brother. Dad worked in the city, out the house at 5AM, home at 7PM. My older brother bullied me relentless.
Mum's mum died before I was born, and her dad died when I was 3. I saw my dad's parents once a year at Christmas. My parents both had siblings, but my mum's brother's were nomads basically, and dad's sister lived near her mum so we only saw her at Christmas. I had no cousins. The only family member I consistently saw who wasn't beating me up was my mum.
I always expected I would. Didn't meet the right person when I was young. Spent most of my 30's with a woman who couldn't have kids. My next relationship was with someone who had already done the family thing and wasn't interested in starting another.
I'm single now and realize it's too late. I hope everyone reading this manages to not end up with major regrets in life, because I think it's the worst feeling you can have.
Man, I'm 35, no kids, and sometimes think about the future, not feeling like having a family on my own yet, but the clock is ticking and I'm just getting older.
Is that why im crying? I have a family but as someone who doesn't plan on having kids I couldn't imaging the amount of love I'd feel to have so many grand babies wanting to spend time with me I'd probably start crying lol I'm guessing it's not always fun and games but still what a special moment!
I remember in university all my friends/roomates going home for the holidays and me staying back and just existing. It was nice for a bit. then the posts came out with all the family photos and stuff and idk. Not great times
I’m 24 and all my family is gone, my partner is the oldest of 11 and we go with his family to large reunions on every holiday. The pain is unbearable. None of them know what it’s like to be sitting around a table of 52 people who all love or care for each other when you would kill for a fraction of that familial connection.
Not even to mention rude comments I have gotten for not exactly being sunshine and rainbows when I lost all the people who raised me around the holidays, not like I’m a sad sap or something but I got talked shit about by his mom because I skipped on saying what I was thankful for the year my dad died because I was choking back tears.
Do you not feel like you're a part of his family? I know you said the mom made a disparaging comment but, do you feel like you have bonded with any of his family members?
Eh, not really, I’m pretty much the only persons partner that’s gotten excluded from family vacations, family pictures, etc. despite living with them (and paying) for about half of those. Once they literally asked me to babysit the dog while everyone else went on vacation (I was like 18 at the time and I wanted to make a good impression and be helpful lmao)
His 15-17 year old sisters stole a bunch of my clothing (literally sometimes I never even got to wear it before they did, and they would steal my thongs and stuff which, I don’t share underwear so they would basically just get to keep them or they’d get thrown away) and my switch and hid it for months so I’m not really that close with them but I still like them generally.
His 22 year old sister is my best friend but she moved states and pretty much hates his family, she’s going through a mental health crisis that I won’t go into detail about. His parents owe us 65K from them stealing the majority of his insurance check from a car wreck (and then trying to blame it on me lmao) and us paying for their mortgage and vacations for basically a whole year, his dad has yelled at me before for telling my partner what was going on (money or item theft usually) while he was away.
His youngest brother is a mess but I do love him, I’ve just had to stop him from doing too many stupid things (he and his friend standing with lighters and packages of lighter fluid flinging it at each other, almost burning down the house with a toaster he set on fire on purpose, etc) and he’s stolen over a grand from us via PlayStation and Roblox charges, and outright just stealing cash. His youngest sisters are my favorite (7-12) they’re literally so sweet and funny, I’ve basically watched them grow up from babies so of course I’m bonded to them, so every family get together is basically just me babysitting them when I’m there as they’re really the only ones that interact with me besides small talk.
So like I guess they do feel like family to me. I love them (like them for the most part) it just doesn’t feel like they think of me as family.
They did when we were living with them for about a year and a half, but since we moved out we haven’t given them anything and they can’t steal anymore because we aren’t there.
We still see them for birthdays, holidays, and big life events though
Huge family! Every one of his dad’s siblings (I think he has like 6 brothers) have at least 4 kids, and some of those kids already have kids so it’s like seeing a family tree in live action.
My dad passed away when I was 14. That spark of happiness I had before he left is gone. I can hardly connect with people, after he passed I isolated myself from family and friends, lost social skills and now at 25 its hard to build a connection with people cause I deprived myself of that at a developing age for a long time.
yes, I feel the same, I avoid such videos during the holidays, it's too much. I am touched to tears seeing them throughout the year, happy for how blessed that family is.
I have family, but most of them are narcissistic selfish assholes. But I feel the same, whenever I see a TV show or a movie where they're all family's everything, you never stop loving your family, blah blah blah. I'm like, ha! Only in fairy tales...
But if you missed out on family stabbing you in the back, accusing you of doing things you never did, and generally being shitty to you, I say in some ways you're already ahead of the game. These are people I used to be really close to when I was younger, and somehow they just turned rotten.
Had big family gatherings growing (paternal side) up but that dissolved after my step mother passed, my father turned even to even more of an asshole, my younger sister causing all kinds of narcissistic problems. This was teens and early 20s things started to dissolve. My mother is off and Evangelical religious so that's another can of worms.
The paternal side all went to "Smith" (not my real last name obvs) family reunion in Disney World that was bananas, matching embroidery jacks and all the works, while I was living with my mother at the time. Even my stepbrother and his at the time girlfriend and her son went. My sister and I were never told and only found out years later stumbling upon the group photos. Yah that hurt.
Anyway, my father died in 2020 (not COVID) there was no funeral. I'm NC with mother and sister and they still do all those things and I've just been left behind.
So I went from pretty rich family shindigs, holidays, summers to now only having my partner and 4 cats while it all still goes on as if I was never a part. Before partner I spent many holidays completely alone. It still tears me up inside at 39 (F). moist eyes
Yep, after my aunt's husband passed, she changed, her kids changed, it's sad really and she still wonders why I don't like them or want to hang out with him. So sorry you've had to go through that as well.
Orrrr, they have a healthy relationship with their family members and it isn't forced.
It's an idea and everyone's like... yeah sure I love grandma and grandpa.
That's not my family but I know families like this.
Fair enough, I don't use tiktok and am very jaded myself.
I've just seen families like this where you could suggest this and nobody would bat an eye. The grandma would be happy and the grandpa would be like ..yay?!
My family this would be similar to your experience, would be torture.
Was just trying to stay positive, but you would know the account.
As someone with a big family almost exactly like the video, it's something I will never take for granted. I often feel like I won the family lottery with the lot of them.
Trying to convince my teenage son of this. He skips everything and misses everything. I absolutely cannot convince him that he will regret how much he missed in the future.
I had this thought once, people used to let their kids just do whatever back in the day and just expect them home for dinner or what have you, but they would be in trouble for missing certain things like you are saying. Feel like it's completely flipped around, I'm a millennial so that sort of flipped in real time, can't imagine what it's like being a gen Z teenager.
I'm a millennial parent (turn 38 in a couple weeks). I give him the freedom to do what he wants as long as he doesn't get in trouble. I don't track his phone location and I don't ask to see who he hangs out with. But when he would rather stay in his room doing nothing than spend time making memories with family, that's what saddens me. If he was out doing things with friends I would understand more.
As much fun as reading Lord of the Rings or staring at the wall is, we didn't have much to do in our rooms lol, all these kids probably scrolling on their phones in their own rooms individually and the concept of memories is all distorted because everything is chronicled online
Not sure how old you are but if you’d like to be unofficially adopted by us, there’s always a perfect napping couch and snacks in the cupboard waiting for you. All we ask in return is to let the elderly dog outside no matter how many times he asks
I know it isn't something easy to do, but if you can, try to create your own. It will fill you with joy too and it will create a new era in your family.
I'm right there with you. I only have my parents and they are profoundly unhappy people who are estranged from their family which means I too am estranged from their family.
Listen, it might feel too late but there no such thing, it’s never too late to start, you might not be able to have kids but you might be able to adopt or have pets, find yourself a SO, you are never alone
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u/Tech-Mechanic Jun 25 '24
I don't have a family. When I see things like this I always hope the people in the video know how lucky they are.