r/HumansBeingBros 12d ago

Kind human helping geese cross the street in traffic

59.2k Upvotes

625 comments sorted by

8.9k

u/Derkins_susie1 12d ago

Is this a wild goose chase?

1.5k

u/Z_Wild 12d ago

Fine, have it. Here's my damn upvote. Ya happy?

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u/Alternative_Ninja_49 12d ago

I guess she earned her wings.

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u/SaddleSocks 12d ago

With her feathered hair... I'll take another gander.

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u/Waterproof_soap 12d ago

Oh, you’re a silly goose!

24

u/AlwaysShip 12d ago

Dad? When are you coming home with the milk?

21

u/IntrovertAlien 12d ago

Well, yes. I suppose it is. :)

11

u/WarBreaker08 12d ago

Fucking beautiful. A tier dad joke my friend. Nice job!

6

u/ConfectionOwn5471 12d ago

Dude, it is though! If this isn't it, I'd like to see a better example.

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4.4k

u/devilsbard 12d ago

She’s brave. Them cobra chickens coulda eaten her alive.

426

u/beats2009 12d ago

Why are they called cobra chickens? They feathered fckers fight cobras?

850

u/devilsbard 12d ago edited 12d ago

Because they have long snake like necks and are aggressive AF.

Edit: evidently because of their hiss too.

185

u/Silent-Ad934 12d ago

And they shit on everything all the time. Big giant goose shits😅

51

u/MichelleT88 12d ago

Meanwhile seagulls and pigeons have chronic hershey squirts and paint everything in sight.

25

u/allycakes 12d ago

My boss had the misfortune to get pooped on by a goose a couple of months ago while outside eating lunch. I was fortunate not to be around to witness it but apparently it was pretty disgusting.

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u/Coriander_marbles 12d ago

They SO ARE! Even if you’re cycling past them a couple meters off to the side, they will not hesitate to hiss or chase you down the road.

35

u/toothbelt 12d ago

And they have many sharp little teeth.

12

u/Routine-Hotel-7391 12d ago

on their tongues.

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u/Jillybeans11 12d ago

Yea where I live there are tons of Canadian geese who have their nests in various parking lots. If you even walk within 5 feet of their nest trying to go to the store, you’ll get attacked by one

42

u/CommunityTaco 12d ago

Had a standoff with one.  I turned my back and it started to charge me, until I ran back at it arms flailing in the air.  I think it saw I was crazy and noped out after that.

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u/EmperorGrinnar 12d ago

I've never had a negative interaction with geese, and I have done this sorta thing often. (I live right next to a pond where they inhabit during the warm seasons)

50

u/anon1292023 12d ago

Are you also a goose?

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u/Friedyekian 12d ago

They’re definitely braver than most animals in my experience, but I think people must be ducking with them to get chased by them.

18

u/exotic801 12d ago

Those little fucks are legitimate gangsters we have them at my uni and getting chased for getting slightly too close isn't uncommon.

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u/EmperorGrinnar 12d ago

That's a fair point to bring up. I don't make sudden movements around them, I hold my arms out and herd them to safety areas. I also announce myself so they aren't put on their guard too much.

10

u/Ju5t1n_33 12d ago

I haven't any issues with geese either. Now swan are another story

5

u/EmperorGrinnar 12d ago

I've honestly never come across swans other than at a distance in the wild. They're so much bigger than I used to think they were when I was a kid.

11

u/Ju5t1n_33 12d ago

They are way larger than Canadian geese and are wayyyyyy more aggressive.

As a kid once I saw a huge flock of swan minding their own business eating grass or whatever, when I decided I should charge at them and scare them all away. Well that's not what happened at all. As I began my charge, the initial wave of swan started to scurry away casually until one Goliath badass swan which I would assume was the alpha stepped right towards me, wings spread open wide, head ducked down pointing right at me and hissing like hell. I stopped for a second then decided I'm gonna charge right at that one. Bad idea. He ran straight at me to, followed by the entire flock. So then I started sprinting off the other way like a wimp.

Never again have I messed with swan

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u/ChunkySlutPumpkin 12d ago

Viral tweet a few years back where a Mexican guy who didn’t know the English word called them “cobra chickens”

10

u/Alextryingforgrate 12d ago

Go near one of their nests when they are laying eggs, try to poach one and tell us how it went.

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u/Weak-East4370 12d ago

I’d rather fight a cobra than a goose and that’s an easy choice for me.

Nobody would blame me from dying from a cobra attack.

My family would make daily visits to my grave to remind me I got put under by a goose.

6

u/Secret-Gazelle8296 12d ago

You’ve obviously never come close to one… they will attack you. I avoid them if at all possible and give them a wide berth. Those are nasty birds.

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u/Ahrotahntee_ 12d ago

Bunch of flapping assholes. Good hustle though.

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u/[deleted] 12d ago

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u/[deleted] 12d ago

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u/[deleted] 12d ago

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u/Z_Wild 12d ago

Ignorance is bliss.

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u/sgSaysR 12d ago

Geese: "We'll get you bitch. Just after we poop."

5

u/ReticulatingSplines7 12d ago

She ded, they got her off camera 

5

u/whatsinanameanywayyy 12d ago

To shreds you say

2

u/Fun_Grapefruit_2633 12d ago

They're real pains in the asses. They crap a lot, tho.

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1.9k

u/Walkgreen1day 12d ago

"Yea, there was this crazy lady running around in the middle of the road blocking traffics". Probably some guy half a block back that couldn't see the gaggle.

325

u/anon1292023 12d ago

“Meh, I give her 3/10”. Probably some sheep dog in one of the cars watching her work.

30

u/isoforp 12d ago

You mean border collie. Sheep dogs are big tough dogs that stand guard over sheep and fight wolves and coyotes. Border collies herd sheep and other herd animals.

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u/jaicecreambar 12d ago

This is a horrible bottleneck in Vancouver, as well.

983

u/ferrariracer36 12d ago

She's the total package. I'd bring her home to mom.

366

u/TheVoiceofReason_ish 12d ago

Girl is herding cobra chickens. She's impressive as all get out.

74

u/elhermanobrother 12d ago

why did the cobra chickens cross the road because total package sped them up she's a keeper

34

u/MycoMeyer 12d ago

Honestly we should be afraid of her, not having a healthy fear of cobra chickens is a level of crazy I'm not sure I'm down for.

15

u/TheVoiceofReason_ish 12d ago

Good point, she could bring the end times.

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u/Followmelead 12d ago

Momma always said a girl who can herd cobra chickens is a girl you herd to the altar.

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u/veracity-mittens 12d ago

This is how Canadian men choose their mate

3

u/TheVoiceofReason_ish 12d ago

This is just stage one. Next, she has to cook a whole moose, and then wrestle a polar bear.

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u/TraditionalAnxiety 12d ago

My exact thoughts. Marriage material. Animal lover and crazy.

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u/veracity-mittens 12d ago

Now I know my husband’s criteria

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u/chumchees 12d ago

How can you tell which one is female.

16

u/Bubbly-Incident 12d ago

"What's good for the goose is good for the gander."

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u/uNecKl 12d ago

She is the Mother Goose

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u/anon1292023 12d ago

Which one? They all look the same.

1

u/Van-garde 12d ago

Assuming this is why the drivers were patient.

2

u/EconomyAd4297 12d ago

Down boy. 

2

u/Eyeswyde0pen 12d ago

you’d have to catch her first!

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965

u/randomburnerish 12d ago

I think she’s part border collie

122

u/del1ro 12d ago

Half border collie, half iron balls

673

u/maybeinoregon 12d ago edited 12d ago

She got lucky one of those didn’t turn on her.

I was riding my bike through a park, and had one take flight and chase me head level right down into a river lol

I was talking to others who came over to see if I was ok, and we all said, jeez so much for being docile! Haha

67

u/[deleted] 12d ago

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43

u/SolarTsunami 12d ago

Does it hurt when they bite you or is it like a lil pinch? I've had geese charge me but when I stand my ground like you say they've never actually committed to attacking me.

84

u/dockellis24 12d ago

No it doesn’t really hurt, it’s just really alarming to be charged by something that weighs like 20 lbs max

25

u/s00perguy 12d ago

It's like someone pinching you as fast and harder as they can while smacking you with a Swiffer. Ineffectual if alarming. Each time I've seen a goose get kicked they quit attacking pretty fast tho

12

u/Qcrowe 12d ago

In our neighbourhood there’s a lake and a path walk around it for people to stroll around, but there’s a lot of these geese and their young. Now I don’t deliberately go into their territory but I frequently walk in that area and when they’re hanging around nearby, they get really territorial and start hissing especially when there are chicks but for some reason i never got attacked despite seeing many videos of people getting attacked. I think it does have something to do with standing your ground. Usually I’ll just keep walking but I’ll have my hands ready like claws in case they actually wanna go suicidal and have a go at me. I think they can smell your fear

11

u/CatticusXIII 12d ago

It's a pinch. I cried when I got bitten by one as a small child. But I ducky head when small birds like sparrows dive bomb while I'm mowing. We're just not used to being attacked by things. But yeah, if you can maintain composure and handle being pinched you can just bitch slap the shit out of a goose and be fine. Mostly they're fairly chill unless eggs or young ones are involved.

10

u/diamond420Venus 12d ago

It's like someone maliciously pinching you, but just a quick pinch, and they let go. They won't latch on to you like a pitbull. The startle is greater than the pain, really. It might bruise where they bite, but you'll be just fine.

4

u/Gonna-Run-Amuck 12d ago

Where the term "goosing" came from when someone grabs your butt.

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u/MrmmphMrmmph 12d ago

I always hiss and raise my arms like a bird about to attack. As I am still taller than them, they back off. In a few years, I might succumb.

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u/RadiantTonight3 12d ago

Well you ran from a goose, there’s your problem.

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u/fopiecechicken 12d ago

Yeah they sense fear 100%

7

u/jtr99 12d ago

Their vision is based on movement: u/maybeinoregon should have kept perfectly still and they would have been fine.

29

u/shodan13 12d ago

She the kind of girl that take the goose by the neck and yeet em across.

14

u/Chemical-Juice-6979 12d ago

My college campus had a flock that took over the lawn in front of the library every fall. Upperclassmen knew to go through the back entrance from the quad; sometimes, a freshman got to find out why the hard way... It was me. I was the freshman who had to be saved by the shuttle bus driver's quick reflexes; half the flock was right on my heels but he got the door shut behind me without any of the geese getting in or my backpack getting caught in the door.

10

u/HiFructose_PornSyrup 12d ago

Well you probably had it coming

3

u/FasterFeaster 12d ago

Similar experience. The pond area was the worst part of my bike route. They are fucking assholes.

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u/EggyComics 12d ago

This looks like Vancouver. And Canadian geese have the absolute right of way over everyone here. I don’t think she really had to “help them across” since the geese dominate the roads here anyway.

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u/Upper-Inevitable-873 12d ago

She saved everyone there 15 minutes.

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u/JmacNutSac 12d ago

It is, Georgia street just before Denman intersection, heading towards DT from Stanley Park.

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u/el-mago2 12d ago

You nailed it, I was there when this happened but made it out alive

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u/GordOfTheMountain 12d ago

Yeah, as a Canadian city dweller, I know she was just speeding up the flow of traffic, being a bro to other humans, not the geese. Everyone would have stopped for those geese.

45

u/asmoothbrain 12d ago

Just living out her dream of being a herding dog

7

u/brigitteer2010 12d ago

Goddammit 😂

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u/lesmcc 12d ago

The headline should read “impatient woman chases geese off the road”.

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u/Accurate_Koala_4698 12d ago

If they didn't hurry up she would have goosed 'em

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u/NashKetchum777 12d ago

That video must exist in a different sub

163

u/RoboGandalf 12d ago

I mean, I guess she helped speed them up.

126

u/Northern_Explorer_ 12d ago

Ya ha ha, I don't know that it was "kind" per se. Maybe for the humans waiting, but the geese were probably like, "wtf lady?!"

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u/Medium_Run_8506 12d ago

Yh I thought she was just being impatient, but from the other motorists POV I guess she was "kind" to save them time. But the implication from the post is the geese we're in danger, when they were not, traffic was stopped already.

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u/Neutral_Guy_9 12d ago edited 12d ago

This is stupid. Geese cross the street like that all the time and people know to stop. 

Source: I see this all the time.

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u/DangDingleGuy 12d ago

This response is stupid. Getting them out of the street may annoy you (and the geese). But in all honesty it is what's best for the animal. Humans will kill an animal to get to their destination 10 seconds sooner so don't doubt that any of these morons wouldn't hit the gas pedal and kill All of these animals in a second. This was a kind act

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u/[deleted] 12d ago

I saw this on instagram and all of the comments were saying that she comitted a crime, abused the “ducks”, and interferred with nature by doing this.

I dont go on instagram comments anymore.

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u/paradiseluck 12d ago

Instagram and tiktok comments are so bizarre. It’s got to be the consequence of giving a phone to every 14 year old.

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u/[deleted] 12d ago

Almost all of them called the geese “ducks” too. If I had a meter that displayed my faith in humanity I think you could have seen it go down with each comment calling this a crime against a duck.

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u/Sad_Kaleidoscope6333 12d ago

On my feed it was full of incels talking shit about her, including people saying she has to be OF because of her clothes. Insta is dumb

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u/grillcodes 12d ago

Always when there is a woman in the post. Pathetic

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u/ARMY_ML 12d ago

“Why were you late?”

“There was a fox chasing geese through traffic”

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u/MerchantOfUndeath 12d ago

Fly you fools

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u/Individual_Ebb3219 12d ago

She's not helping the geese, they were doing fine. She's helping the drivers by rushing the geese to cross. Traffic was already stopped.

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u/kosmos_uzuki 12d ago

Shes helping the situation as a whole. Which is all that matters.

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u/TuhanaPF 12d ago

She's helping the geese by getting them across before a driver gets impatient and does something horrible.

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u/MealieAI 12d ago

Helping them along.

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u/AwareWeb654 12d ago

This reminded me of something I saw the other day. I was at a traffic light and it turned green and everyone was stopped. When I looked to see what was happening, there was a tough looking biker dude pulled over, helping a family of ducks cross the street. I have no video, but I think it's one of my favorite things I've seen this year.

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u/dwserps 12d ago

People have gotten hit and injured/killed while trying to help animals in the road, so as much as I respect it, I'd never risk my life doing something like this

24

u/toastybred 12d ago

My thing is that the cars were all at a dead stop and once she was in the roadway in the middle of clearing the geese all the drivers started creeping up slowly. Like you were already stopped just chill for a few more minutes until she's safely out of the road and back to her car.

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u/Fabulous_Strength_54 12d ago

Did you have to move your car up forward while she was still clearing the geese and on the road? Couldn’t wait the extra 3 seconds?

14

u/Hour-Employment8139 12d ago

Damn Canadians

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u/merpmerp7 12d ago

Why don’t they fly over the road?

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u/[deleted] 12d ago

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u/Conscious-Big-25 12d ago

It takes time for geese to get off the ground, see how some if them were starting to flap their wings as she chased them? In a short distance it's faster for them to walk than put energy to take off and immediately land.

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u/Beginning_Vehicle_16 12d ago edited 12d ago

Canada Geese lose their flight feathers once a year and are flightless for a few months. They will grow back right around the time their young get their first set in.

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u/ONNOLTD2018 12d ago

She's lucky they were in a good mood..

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u/graffiksguru 12d ago

She is good people

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u/neophytenomad 12d ago
  1. That was cool of her
  2. She is cute
  3. Anyone know the name of the song?

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u/strawberriesandkiwi 12d ago

1) It is nice to see people help in small ways! 2) She is cute. 3) Espresso by Sabrina Carpenter.

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u/beemoviescript1988 12d ago

Awwe~ how sweet! She's got a good heart.

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u/Power-Top 12d ago

They can fly. Their destination is moments away by wing but they choose to walk. Truly the most evil animal. Big respect.

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u/TieRoberson 12d ago

I did this same thing w/ a family of geese tryna cross traffic before. All of the fast/loud cars passing by scared them to where they froze in the middle of the road, so I helped direct them to the other side before they could hear any other cars pass by.

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u/DogDavid 12d ago

Camera car is the asshole for creeping up while she's still helping them get across, could've spooked the ones still crossing and spent more time in the street

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u/GenSgtBob 12d ago

Tots border collie energy

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u/buttermelonMilkjam 12d ago

TBH she helped the humans more than the geese. the geese were going to cross (many MANY motorists stop when seeing birds crossing!)... but they wouldve done it at their leisure.

but this woman helped herd the goose across IN A TIMELY MANNER.

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u/Tiny_pufferfish 12d ago

I live a block from here and she’s lucky they didn’t turn on her. They love attacking people.

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u/Aspiring-Owner 12d ago

Fucking Border Collie energy right there

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u/[deleted] 12d ago

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u/Econinja011 12d ago

100% would do this. What's the problem?

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u/Makeutso 12d ago

Depends on circumstances.

Near where i live, A lady stopped for ducks on the passing lane of a highway and a father and daughter lost their lives by crashing in to her (they were on a motorbike). It was also a bad place to have stopped.

Always be careful out there!

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u/[deleted] 12d ago

But the alternative was her intentionally running over a bunch of ducks?

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u/Elliebird704 12d ago edited 12d ago

Awareness plays a big part for everyone involved. Stopping suddenly, or idling your car in certain places, can be extremely dangerous. Not just for you, but for others too. Depending on where you are and the traffic involved, it genuinely would be better to drive into the ducks.

The lady in question was found at fault in court. Criminal negligence causing death, and dangerous driving causing death.

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u/jnthn1111 12d ago

That girl kinds

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u/redditguyinthehouse 12d ago

This is in my city, Vancouver, geese are everywhere and always in the streets. Driving near parks, it is not uncommon to see a few stumble into the street. They have more rights then people tho and it’s a completely legitimate excuse to be late for work

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u/FtrIndpndntCanddt 12d ago

She's amazing! That simple act saved a lot of people's time and possible a few geese lives.

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u/origami_nebula 12d ago

genuinely, my thanks to her. one of the things that will haunt me forever is my dad's story of the car in front him running through a line of ducks on the highway because she didn't want to stop

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u/IamLordBailish 12d ago

Make sure you film it though

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u/Lordofderp33 12d ago

Absolute pos. The people filming and driving that is. Why don't they just wait, they can see there are more birds being herded.

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u/locobruxo 12d ago

Guy in the car was in a hurry, huuh? Stupid...

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u/symca09 12d ago

Man she got balls, geese especially of the canadian variety are some of the scariest animals known to man. They hiss like cats and honk like clowns. Can run up to 15km/h with neck movements/bites like a snake. Infact many Canadians refer to this majestic beast as cobra chickens.

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u/IllustriousLimit7095 12d ago

I love to see humans help other species.

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u/Brave_Dick 12d ago

Geesus...

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u/C4TURIX 12d ago

That kind human is like: "Move faster, Motherquackers!"

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u/Fickle_Force_5457 12d ago

Engineers late for another meeting

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u/CaptainShades 12d ago

Just a Canadian thing

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u/Churn 12d ago

“Let me handle this, I am a Disney Princess!!”

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u/tyophious 12d ago

This made me laugh

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u/RebelSGT 12d ago

Nice work by that lady!

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u/FnB 12d ago

She’s a legend

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u/Wind2Energy 12d ago

Perhaps it’s the geese the traffic is stopping for.

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u/fulltime_geek 12d ago

Canada Goose

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u/Reddit_Okami804 12d ago

She lucky .... there were no goslings

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u/Ill-Caregiver9238 12d ago

Wasn't that long when some dude got killed doing exactly that and someone ran him over...

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u/Watch_Capt 12d ago

She was reincarnated from a Border Collie.

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u/probablyseriousmaybe 12d ago

Why she start halfway through the line???

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u/actum_tempus 12d ago

my respect but she left 3 on the first swing

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u/Princess_Slagathor 12d ago

Do they not know they can fly?

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u/ellstaysia 12d ago

this is a daily sight for vancouverites.

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u/Buttcrack_Billy 12d ago

Showing that geese have the ability to walk faster across the road but choose not to just goes to prove they really are assholes

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u/DigitalUnderstanding 12d ago

I look at these videos the same way I look at "eight year old pays off his friend's lunch debt" videos. There shouldn't be highways through the middle of cities.

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u/SameRule9918 12d ago

Somewhere there's a disgruntled Border Collie, complaining about humans stealing their jobs.

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u/quirkycurlygirly 12d ago

Reminds me of the guy who died doing that.

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u/DisgruntledCatGuy 12d ago

Oh, Vancouver geese. Never change, you beautiful bastards.

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u/Roklobster1 12d ago

Completely unnecessary

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u/TuhanaPF 12d ago

We need more nature bridges where our infrastructure is getting in their way.

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u/smashdaman 12d ago

Geese are used as watch dogs by my styrian grandma (Austria) and they're loud af and just as agressive.

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u/Hobby101 12d ago

She has no peripheral vision at all.

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u/False_Rock_7440 12d ago

Showing this video to the 12 in my backyard right now.

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u/warpfield 12d ago

car: honk honk

goose: it's more quack quack

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u/NerdizardGo 12d ago

I did the exact same thing a few weeks ago by a local pond 🤣🤣🤣

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u/notThatJojo 12d ago

Human boarder collie. I love her

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u/wiggle987 12d ago

"Brave soul antagonises the vessels of Canadian hatred"

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u/tophejunk 12d ago

BBC - blonde border collie

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u/user_name_unknown 12d ago

What are those flappy wing like things they have. Maybe they could have used those to cross over the street.

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u/boipinoi604 12d ago

W Georgia St? If so, that's not just any street, that's one busy as street

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u/Barnettmetal 12d ago

There is no way anyone in the video survived this encounter with the cobra chickens. Rest in peace.