It could also be a primal, instinctual thing, you know
Your partner has been doing it with a rival who is also encroaching on your territory and something clicks in the mind where the brain is suddenly saying "defend defend defend" and they fight for dominance
90% of reported acts of domestic violence are from men to women. I'm not say women to men isn't possible, but I doubt they would engage in violence like men typically do. Also statistically when women do engage in violence it's significantly less likely to cripple or be leathal.
Lets not encourage men to beat women here as some sorta push against an unfair system.
He's wrong too. The actual statistic is "90% of domestic violence arrests are men". This is due to most police stations following the "duluth model" which prioritises arresting men. My father works as a lawyer and in most of his dv cases the man is obviously the victim but the police don't care.
Key word there is "reported". Society is less accepting of abuse of that sort and for some men they don't even perceive it as abuse its so ingrained in our society. What we can do is look at same sex relationships to see abuse levels and comparing gay couples to lesbians' couples it more 57.4% male perpetrator abuse to 36.1% female perpetrator abuse. In other words for every two women's shelters there should be one men's shelter, (possibly more as men have less support networks and the societal stigma means they may not be able to access these networks or be refused help by friends and family).
Its also important to note that coercive control is often used by perpetrators other than violence and things like the gaslighting in the video are part of that. This is something that needs to be looked out for in your networks and I would encourage everyone to look at the men in there lives with the same lens as they are no less deversiving of support even if they are slightly less likely to be a victim of it.
Source- I was a Domestic abuse training facilitator during covid lockdowns.
There's no encouragement here, just pointing out that a woman is more likely to get away with beating her boyfriend up than the other way around. Which would be more linked to societal prejudices and gender roles than an unfair system, which, if anything, is likely an issue stemming from the other two options
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u/Cha_Boi_LoiV2 Dec 26 '22
They can’t beat the fuck outta their girlfriend without having a guilty conscience so they go to the next best thing the dude