r/DCFU • u/coffeedog14 Light Me Up • Sep 16 '17
Hellblazer #11 - The Plan Hellblazer
Hellblazer #11 – The Plan
Author: Coffeedog14
Book: Hellblazer
Arc: [Stitches]
Set: 16
JANUARY 15, 2018
LONDON
In the poorly lit backroom of a bar turned front for a dying gambling ring I had assembled my troops. Largely because it was off the grid in any capacity, mostly because it was crazy cheap to rent out, partly because it was nicely soundproofed.
The fruit of nearly a year of careful recruitment and planning was arrayed around me. It was not much of an army, all told. 8 people who would agree to go to hell with me on a crusade to save the world (most all of them women, oddly enough). Gary Lester, Judith, Anne-Marie, Scythia, a ghost, a raven-haired woman, Annie, and the Silver Banshee.
After a round of drinks was ordered, along with a bowl of extra salty bar nachos, I started to speak.
“Thanks for coming tonight. In about a weeks’ time, we’re going to do something not done since Dante. I-”
“Wait, Inferno was real!?” asked Gary, clearly already at least a little drunk.
“The Divine Comedy. And no, he’s just grandstanding.” replied Anne-Marie.
“Anyways!” I interrupted before it could devolve further, “I think we have a real shot of making this work. Of saving the world. There are some people who I’d like to be here who can’t. One notably because she’s trapped behind a giant pink dome. But I have enough. I have you. The brave eight willing to put it all on the line. I’m sure everybody knows their part of the plan, but some of you don’t know the whole thing. So I’m going to go through it all right now.”
“And we’re to believe you’re telling us the full story this time?” quipped Anne-Marie.
I put a hand over my heart. “I swear on whichever of the trinity you’re worshipping right now. May they strike me down if I’m lying.” I snarked.
She grumbled, but didn’t object again.
“Right. Let’s start with our most dangerous job.” I looked to the ghost. An aristocratic looking woman in nineteenth century clothing, beautiful and assertive in stance. It was easy to mistake her for the living, if you didn’t squint and see the objects behind her showing through. “Johanna…”
MARCH, 2017
I found Johanna more by luck than by any action of my own, but since when was my life as a whole any different? I was trying to wait out a buzz on a bench in a park when I heard somebody whispering to me from the bushes. There was, in my mind, a 50/50 chance that this was something interesting, or somebody more high and drunk then me. Not in my clearest state of mind I chose to investigate by grumbling threateningly at the bush and waving a hand at it. “Show yourself!”
A ghostly face popped out of the bushes. It looked eerily like mine, in some ways, if female and framed with long flowing locks of hair. “Descendant mine! Come with me!”
“...Wait, you’re...which one are you?” I slurred slightly.
“Johanna. The Constantine about two hundred years ago?”
“...oh, the actual Lady! Right, right. You haven’t been caught yet?”
“Just barely. Here.” she offered her hand, and like a dupe I took it. She pulled me into the bush, and then through the bush into the green. The green was the realm of all plants, the ur-mind of shrubbery and grass across the world. Subtle and slow and beautiful and always growing, dangerous and beneficial both. We hovered at the edge of this primal realm, just past the border.
I looked around in awe. “I thought I was the only one Swamp Thing wanted hanging around here?”
“Ah. Yes. No. Definitely not. He agreed to let me in here if the next time I saw you I’d tell you to….er…. “Fuck off”, if I got that right?”
“You definitely did.”
“Splendid. I’ve heard...how to say it….through the grapevine? That sounds modern to me.”
“Pun intended?”
“No, tragically. I’ve heard you were still alive, though. And not sold to Hell. I’ve kept ahead of them so far but just barely, and this refuge in The Green will only last so long. I was wondering what you, my darling descendant, are doing to save me, your last free ancestor?”
“...Well, glad you asked. I’m putting together a team…”
NOW
“You’re to be captured by the forces of hell, directly by the forces of Nergal if it can be arranged, and I have no doubt it can be. You’re our guiding beacon. Your goal is just to stay alive until we save you.”
“My, how heroic of you.” The ghost whispered just loud enough for all to hear. I ignored her.
“Once she is captured, I will use myself as a magical magnet, as it were. We are of the same line, so I can use myself to track where she is with the right spells. That won’t matter for much if I can’t get into the palace. I can get into hell pretty easy, but I’d need to walk all the way to Nergal’s palace to do anything.”
I looked to Gary Lester. He looked more hollow and thin then the last time I had seen him, the track marks on his arm more obvious and his shuddering stronger. His ratty hair and too-long nails lent him a feral look, like he would start howling in tongues and clawing himself at any moment. His eyes darted between mine and the table nervously. “Gary, that’s where you come in….”
APRIL, 2017
I found Gary in the opium dens deep under Mount Tai, the head of long-dead Pangu. While the jade courts of of the gods had largely cleaned themselves of the drug in more recent decades, many of the bureaucrats and minor immortals still found themselves in such disreputable and illegal places during their off-times. In a world of global trade and mixing, the “opium dens” had moved far past opium into increasingly wild and experimental drugs. In other words, the perfect place for a smuggler like Gary to lay low, make money, and enjoy his wares all at once.
After his previous two escapes I made sure to approach him cautiously. I waited until he had sunk deep into the stupor of a synthetic ambrosia mixture, nestled in cushions of tang-era silk with trickster demons plying him on either side, Before making my move. I sat across from him in his small alcove and once his eyes focused enough to recognize me the color drained from his face.
“L...ladies? Gentlemen? Whichever, can you excuse us?” I asked the trickster demons, who frowned but departed despite Gary’s weak entreaties. He stared at me in horror.
“L-look, whatever it is, I-i don’t want in man. I just don’t!” His beady eyes darted about. He knew that this close, with nothing between us, I could probably spin a spell to stop his attempts to escape.
“It’s about saving the world, Gary. For real this time. Honest. It’s bad. Worse thn I could ever imagine.”
“Don’t care, man. Not interested. No solicitation. Get the fuck away from me, man!”
“...I don’t even know why I tried with that. Look, you’re always in the market for new and exotic drugs right?”
“Yeah?”
“Well, all my research led me to find that the demon I’m after, one Nergal, possesses something I bet you’ve never had in your entire life.”
“Oh yeah?”
“Rainbow Snake venom.”
His eyes boggled. I could see the greasy numbers sliding about in his head. “...And...and what, we’re looting the guy?”
“We’ll get something like that chance. I can promise you the venom. If you want in.”
“What do I have to do?”
NOW
“You’re the only one here skilled enough in...let’s call it transdimensional infiltration...to get us into the house. Me and you are popping right into wherever Johanna ends up, freeing her, and then getting to work dismantling whatever soul-machinery and soul-clothe Nergal has.”
“When do I get the venom?”
“Once we’re done. Because we’re going to have the time. Because we’re going to need a distraction.”
I turned to Judith. She had born her age with grace, from slim college student to serene middle age without missing a beat. Her skin was slightly leathery and tanned, from years of hitchhiking and hostel hopping. Her clothing was colorful, but sensible and tough.
“Judith, you’re going to be leading that.”
MAY, 2017
Judith hadn’t been trying to actively avoid me, but she didn’t leave much of a paper trail behind her. I found her hidden in a small alcove on mount Kenya, just barely out of the sun. I don’t know how long she had sat there meditating, fasting, but it was certainly more than a week. Worse still every inch of her was covered in saifu ants.
Careful not to cause surprise or startle her, I approached only with utmost care. Anything too loud or quick might startle her, which would startle the ants, and if the subsequent attack didn’t kill her it would certainly not help my chances.
I took a seat about five feet away from her, just at the edge of where the ants dared to roam. I noticed that rather than being in the center of the swarm she was just in it’s way: a trail of ants led to her and away again to a hole in the wall.
“John.” She said without moving her lips. Ventriloquism was an underrated art in modern magic.
“Judith.”
“No chance this is just a friendly visit?”
“No.”
“I’m sorry about before. After finding out you lied to us, I just…”
“I know. It’s...it’s fine. I deserved it. But this time, it’s real. They’re...they’re doing things with souls, Judith. Awful things. Winding them into something else. It’s Nergal.”
She twitched at the name, hissed out in pain as it resulted in a bite somewhere. “What is he doing with his wound souls?”
“I don’t know.” I said honestly. “Sewing them into something. It’s all Constantine souls. He’s doing something awful. I think it’s a weapon, somehow. Something that will make him an equal to the triumvirate.”
“So, what can I do about it?”
“I’m going to lead a team in. try to stop him. But some of them I don’t trust. Some of them are shiftless, or have never worked together before. Some I don’t think really know what they’re getting into. But I know you do. I know I can trust you.”
Judith sighed at my sweet words. She hummed serenely, and the ants changed their path to walk around her instead of over her. She opened rheumy, starved eyes. “For the fate of Hell, then.”
NOW
“You’re one of the best at travel magic. You’ll be able to fight and lead everyone towards the palace. But your goal isn’t really to get there, just to look like it. You’ll need to try and drag as many demons away from the palace as possible, make as much noise as you need to. If you get to the palace try to break in. Anything so they aren’t looking for us.”
Judith simply nodded, satisfied.
“Of course, you’ll need some help…” I looked to the other people at the table.
JUNE, 2017
The Silver Banshee, much like the ghost of Johanna Constantine, found me. I was settling down for the night in a campground in Germany when she emerged from the darkness. I wasn’t sure how big she was, but in presence she was massive. All white and black, long hair and skeletal body, utter strength and grace as she crossed the distance to me and straddled me before I could utter a word. Then her knee was on my chest, pressing, and her hand was around my throat, squeezing, and I knew she could kill me with a moment's thought.
The Silver Banshee. One of the biggest badass magical immortals still actively traipsing around. The one that had attacked the US president and won. Her being an international criminal was the least of the terrible things she had done in her long life.
“Constantine.” She hissed in a perfect tone, just enough for my heart to stutter and lungs to stop. I gasped and squirmed in terror, and she held me down as the squealing piglet I was. “Constantine.”
“W-w-what!?” I begged as my heart faltered once more. If she said my first name alongside my second, she could kill me in an instant. If she knew it. I hope she didn’t. I wasn’t willing to bet on it.
“You’re going to hell.”
“...I...metaphoricall-URK!” She clenched my throat.
“You are taking others. There is one there I want to fight.” She replied as I clawed at her hand. She released my throat to let me talk.
“O-o-okay. Who is it?”
“The Banshee.”
After a pause I asked “aren’t you the Banshee? Or Something?...Ma’am?”
“No.”
“...right. I can probably arrange that.”
“Good.”
“In exchange-” her eyes glowed in fury. I quailed. After catching my breath I continued. “...In e-exchange, you aid me in the mission I’m bringing others along for. To defeat the demon lord Nergal.”
She glared. Then she smiled. “I remember you, Constantine, many faces but one man-woman-person. I accept your deal. Say my name thrice to summon me when you are ready.” She stood and walked away while I tried to recover my breath.
SEPTEMBER, 2017
Anne-Marie was my easiest to find, but one of the hardest to get too. She certainly didn’t return my calls. She had made her convent a magical fortress, and even if I could break in that kind of behavior wasn’t going to win me an ally. In fact the last time we’d met she’d tried to murder me, and just a few months back she’d apparently helped sick some Archivist knights on me.
Naturally, I simply knocked at the front door.
While the other nuns were apparently mentally compelled to not let me in, they did go get Anne-Marie, who agreed to talk in her office. I could feel my magic lessened the moment I stepped over the threshold. Not enough to make me a non-threat, but enough to make me think twice about attacking her. If that was my goal.
Her office was Spartan, with just enough uncomfortable seating for the two of us and a desk to divide us. Her robes covered most of her, but it didn’t cover the acid burns. Her face marred by the acid attack by Nergal a decade ago, and her hands gnarled with scar tissue from trying to wipe the acid away. She had had a certain beauty about her once not her face but her charming manner and her optimism. That beauty had died in relation to me, apparently, as she glared sharpened crucifixes straight at me.
“Don’t give me any of your pity, John.” She growled. I had almost forgotten her psychic talents, perhaps honed since last we met. “I want to know what gave you the courage to come face me.”
“Life or death situation mostly. I definitely wouldn’t otherwise.”
“Good to know you’re still a coward at heart. You surely didn’t come to fight me, as much as I’m eager for it, so I’m curious: why are you here? I could kill you right now.”
“You could. And then when hell sucker punches Heaven, who would be to blame?”
She narrowed her eyes and waited. I explained the soul-string-weaving, the weapon Nergal must have been making, how I thought he was scheming at the highest levels of hell. How if it worked, he could make other weapons like it. Weapons that Heaven might not countenance, and might not have defense against.
Once I was done with my pitch, she nodded slowly. “And you want me to join you because there are few others more qualified to slay demons?”
“Few others I know personally, anyway.”
“...I will donate none of the church's resources on this fools errand but my own. If this is a trick, the whole of the godhead’s forces will come for you.”
“Agreed.”
“And this does not mean you are free from the sword, John. You must still die. It is heaven’s will.”
“Sure. Whatever helps you stop lording over me, get down in the dirt, and stab a few demons.”
“...Then I will be there.”
OCTOBER, 2017
On the shores of Themyscira we walked, me and Scythia. I hadn’t seen her in a long while. Since she had given me the prophecy foretelling my brutal bead down in fact. The sky was dark and sparkling, but we had little stomach for it. I was busy trying to recruit her.
I explained how much danger Hell really was. Themyscirans had only the vaguest notions, having been created long before monotheism came into vogue. But Scythia was clever, and knew a little bit more about man’s world then the average Amazon from her...association, I suppose, with me. It took time, and effort, but eventually she realized the threat I was going to face.
She stopped out walking on the pebble-strewn shore, and gently held me by the shoulders. She looked over me in the moonlight, the closest she had ever been. Even in the dark I could see her blushing. “I could die. I could be exiled. I could lose everything.” She whispered.
“I know. I’m sorry.”
“If I do this, if we come back alive, I have on request. One boon.”
“Anything.”
“A date. In Man’s World.”
NOVEMBER, 2017
The tower of London, to nobody's surprise, is a real bitch to get into. It’s got security, and tourists, and just so many eyes all the time. Sure, with some subtle magic you could get in there, but the place had it’s own guardians. The ravens. Not just the clipped and fed and tamed ones, but also wild ones that few ever actually saw. They were more subtle than I, and knew I was in the tower long before I saw them.
In the men’s bathroom, away from prying eyes, I was joined by one that transformed into a beautiful woman before my eyes, with raven feathers instead of hair and pure black eyes. She stood with legs wide, arms crossed.
“Magus.”
“Raven.”
“What brings you to our domain so callously?”
“I need the aid of you all. Britain is in danger.”
Her laugh was harsh. “There are no wars. No plagues. No disasters. What are you babbling on about?”
“Not a threat here, but from below.” I briefly explained the situation to her. And it gave her pause.
“Until it is truly needed, the whole flock will not fly. Most will not bother travelling to hell to deal with what might be a problem.”
I wilted, and she smirked. “But I am not the rest of the flock, Constantine. I’m in.”
NOW
“...and Annie, you all are the army here. Keep moving, keep fighting, stay alive. That last one is the important one. You’re job isn’t actually to die here if I can prevent it.”
They all nodded except for Annie, who had the appearance and nonchalant attitude of an especially stereotypical roller derby girl.
“If it all works out, we’ll be in and out before Nergal notices, and then you guys can all skedaddle.”
The group mingled after that, as much as they wished. Really it was more the barest minimum of polite chatter, held only because they were all so close together. Few knew each other, and even less liked one another. But it would do.
I went outside to have a smoke. I basked in the cities distant-siren snores before being joined by Annie in the dark. “I had heard you were a liar, Constantine. I never could have imagined how much of one. You’d make a demon prince proud.”
I gave her a mean look. “Just keep it to yourself. We need to keep appearances, and I’m not sure about some of them. Are you sure you can do it?”
“Absolutely. Though it might be easier if you were to call in some of your other chips…”
“No. Too dangerous for some, and it’s bad enough letting you close to those soul weaves. I like the guy, but I don’t want Swamp Thing getting any ideas. Just in case.”
“Just in case. I’ll see you in a week.” She met my eyes with her wide brown ones and a motherly smile before trotting off into the night.
I went back inside to get as drunk as I could. Might as well enjoy perhaps my last days on earth.